Dell's Good, Bad & Ugly Movie Reviews

[dell71]

Step Up Revolution
Directed by Scott Speer.
2012. Rated PG-13, 99 minutes.
Cast:
Ryan Guzman
Kathryn McCormick
Misha Gabriel
Peter Gallagher
Stephen Boss
Cleopatra Coleman
Megan Boone
Adam Sevani
Mia Michaels
Tommy Dewey
Chadd Smith

The original Step Up was a decent dance flick most notable for launching the career of Channing Tatum. The next two movies in the series are horrible stories hidden beneath a bevy of exciting hip-hop influenced dance routines. Each only holds the slimmest strands of continuity to its predecessor as characters from the prior movies are only given cameos. I suppose the director for this outing, Scott Speer, figured if it ain’t broke…you know the rest. And if you’re one of us screaming that the franchise is indeed broken you’re obviously not paying attention. You have to read between the line dances. Replace the phrase ‘if it ain’t broke’ with ‘as long as it’s profitable.’ There ya go. I knew you were smart.

I would call the plot to this latest installment lazy, but hey, it’s actually breaking new ground for the series. The first three movies all revolve around dancing, school and the redemptive qualities of both. Well, part 3 kinda waves the finger at academia, but that’s in another review. School is completely absent this time around. For the bulk of its tale, Step Up Revolution simply rips off dozens of other flicks and dares you to remember which ones.

Okay, I’ve rambled into the third paragraph and haven’t even told you what the plot is yet. I’ll spill the beans since you insist. Emily (McCormick) wants to be a professional dancer but her rich Trump-esque daddy (Gallagher) wants her to take over the family business. The two agree, meaning he tells her, that if she’s not a pro dancer by the end of the summer, she’ll give up the ghost and come work for him. Obviously, dad isn’t into drawing things out. Meanwhile, his little girl falls madly in love with slum-dwellin’, hip hop dancin’ Channing Tatum stand-in Sean (Guzman). Sean happens to be a waiter at dad’s hotel. He’s also part of The Mob. Sadly, this mob does not include DeNiro, Pacino, Pesci, an Armani suit, a black leather jacket, an overly made up moll, the FBI and not one freaking dancer gets whacked. Damn. Anyhoo, this mob puts on elaborate, dance numbers in heavily trafficked areas without warning which it films for YouTube in hopes of winning a contest. Never mind all that. Just know we soon discover that Emily’s daddy has purchased all the land in Sean’s neighborhood and is about to tear everything down and put in condos. Or is it a mall? A stadium? Skyscrapers? Habitat for Superheroes? Hell, it doesn’t really matter. Just understand that The Mob springs into action to save their home. So if you’re actually paying attention to what you’re reading and are old enough to remember you should’ve spotted what I am about to tell you. The brilliant minds behind this picture have merely taken the plots of Breakin’ and Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo and condensed them into one movie. Mind you, neither is even in the same universe as Citizen Kane, but it is what it is.

You know what, though? I’m not even mad at this movie. Don’t get me wrong. It sucks. It just sucks a lot less than the previous two “steps.” It’s errors are less egregious than those movies. Sure, the dialogue is regurgitated drivel and we’ve already discussed the plot, but there’s nothing offensive or aggressive about it. Well, unless you’re wealthy and/or republican. Even then you’ve seen this hundreds of times before. You already know that “liberal Hollywood” (as some would say) uses you as its go-to villain. You expect it by now. Part 2 suffers from racism while part 3 showcases backwards logic and morality. All three flicks over-gangsterize dance crews as if they were equal to Crips and Bloods. Despite the name of the group, this movie doesn’t even have that problem. It’s biggest issue is blandness. I’m not sure that connecting the narrative dots has ever been easier. And it still has big, loud, creative dance sequences. This makes Revolution the best of the three sequels. Admittedly, this is like being the best looking ugly person. Still, that’s better than not being the best looking ugly person. Capiche?

MY SCORE: 5/10

[dell71]

Safety Not Guaranteed
Directed by Colin Trevorrow.
2012. Rated R, 86 minutes.
Cast:
Aubrey Plaza
Mark Duplass
Jake Johnson
Karan Soni
Mary Lynn Rajskub
Jenica Bergere
Jeff Garlin
Lauren Carlos
Kristen Bell

Apparently, it’s a slow news month in Seattle. One of the city’s local magazines is trying to come up with ideas for a story to run when they decide to find out about the person and story behind a peculiar personal ad. It is for “someone to go back in time with,” and stresses that it is not a joke. Since it was his idea, Jeff (Johnson), decides to head the investigation and takes two interns with him: Darius (Plaza) and Arnau (Soni). Soon enough, they figure out it’s a guy named Kenneth (Duplass). The initial plan is for Jeff to pose as someone answering the ad. However, Kenneth sniffs him out as a fraud pretty quickly. Figuring correctly that Kenneth probably lacks female companionship, Darius is sent in to play the same role. Unsurprisingly to her co-workers, Darius is a hit with Kenneth who agrees to take her through the training process for time travel. Everyone trying to figure out just how crazy Kenneth is while he prepares to do the impossible ensues.

Several other storylines also persist. Jeff tries to hook up with an old flame and to break Arnau out of his shell (and virginity). Then, of course, there’s the little matter of Darius possibly falling for the seemingly unstable Kenneth. These all sound trite, but they’re handled with a humanity that feels genuine. In addition, the overarching time travel plot holds them all together without intruding upon them like the planets in other recent sort-of-sci-fi flicks Melancholia and Another Earth.

Like those other two movies, the science-fiction part of Safety Not Guaranteed is a seldom seen current that runs beneath the story. This is a movie much more about people interacting with one another than any futuristic occurrence. It’s developing love stories mixed with light comedy and drama, investigative reporting and even some possible espionage. This is definitely for the romantics and not the lights-and-lasers crowd.

MY SCORE: 7.5/10

[calgaryballer]

You've always reviewed the dance/music genre, so I'd be interested in your take on Pitch Perfect. My wife made me watch it, and I...enjoyed it more than I ever thought I would. The acting is not the best, and the plot is shallow, but the songs are catchy and at the end I felt pretty happy. 7.5/10

[dell71]

You've always reviewed the dance/music genre, so I'd be interested in your take on Pitch Perfect. My wife made me watch it, and I...enjoyed it more than I ever thought I would. The acting is not the best, and the plot is shallow, but the songs are catchy and at the end I felt pretty happy. 7.5/10

Wife & daughters love...really love dance/music flicks so I see as many as they hear about. They actually watched Pitch Perfect without me last Friday because they just couldn't wait for me to get home from work/get settled, etc. They liked it so much, they're bugging me to watch it with them so I'll probably wind up seeing it this weekend.

[Loco]

They made a movie based off a meme?

[Palooza]

They made a movie based off a meme?

They made a movie based on a meme that is based on a fake classified ad.

[Palooza]

Pitch Perfect was addicting. I couldn't look away. Rebel Wilson was hilarious, Anna Kendrick is adorable, the music is catchy, etc etc etc. It was so better than it had any business being.

[dell71]

Pitch Perfect
Directed by Jason Moore.
2012. Rated PG-13, 112 minutes.
Cast:
Anna Kendrick
Brittany Snow
Rebel Wilson
Skylar Astin
Anna Camp
Ben Platt
Adam DeVine
Freddie Stroma
Hana Mae Lee
Alexis Knapp
Ester Dean
Elizabeth Banks
John Michael Higgins
John Benjamin Hickey

The Barden Bellas are an all-female competitive acapella group who’ve literally puked away their chances at winning a national championship. When the next school year starts up, the only two returning members are the iron-fisted Aubrey (Camp), who did the puking, and Chloe (Snow) her BFF and kinda, sorta co-leader. They need to recruit a whole new team but are having trouble finding people willing to join. It doesn’t help that the actual champions are the Treblemakers, an all-male group who also attend Barden University. Much to Aubrey’s chagrin, she and Chloe gather a group of misfits from all ethnicities and orientations they have to whip into shape. Among them is Beca (Kendrick), a reluctant college student. She wants to be a DJ, but her dad teaches at the school and is pretty much making her go. Of course, if you’ve only seen the trailers for Pitch Perfect then you know another of the new girls is Fat Amy (Wilson), a rambunctious soul from Tasmania. Lots of singing ensues.

Singing is what the movie does best. A seemingly endless succession of already catchy pop tunes from the 80s forward are given fun re-workings. I’m not sure how many of these would-be idols would make it to Hollywood, but they’re having a grand time with some fun songs. We have little choice but to do the same. It’s rather easy to get caught up in tapping your feet and singing along.

What it also does well is be silly. Here is where Fat Amy comes in. A sizable share of the movie’s funniest moments are hers. Her timing is rock solid and she has charisma to spare. It might be the best comedic performance of the last few years including 2011’s Oscar nominated turn by Melissa McCarthy. Most of the other funny moments are handled by Adam DeVine as Bumper, the leader of the Treblemakers. If there is one drawback to this pair is that what’s hinted at is never really explored as Bumper rather abruptly disappears from the proceedings. It’s too bad because that may have led to even more hijinks and shenanigans. Whatever funnies those two are not responsible for usually come from Elizabeth Banks and John Michael Higgins as competition commentators.

When other characters try to get in on the laughs, things don’t go so well. The main problem is that the rest of the Bellas are all one dimensional stereotypes. Whatever aspect of themselves we’re first shown of most of the ladies is all there is to them and they act only on those surface traits. For instance, the Japanese girl is a weird mix of traditionally docile housewife and a character from a twisted Asian horror flick who whispers all her lines even while singing (?), the black lesbian is constantly trying to grope one of the other Bellas and is relentlessly ghetto-butch, the promiscuous girl only expresses herself in overtly (hetero)sexual terms constantly groping herself, and so on.

Another place Pitch Perfect hits sour notes is during time spent on plot development. Whenever our principles aren’t harmonizing and/or going for laughs the movie just works down the checklist of both rom-com and sports movie clichés (predictable break-up and training montages, for instance). From a character standpoint, Beca is the movie’s focal point. Her daddy issues (I don’t remember ever hearing about mom), musical prowess, battles with Aubrey and budding romance with Jesse (Astin) are all front and center without a surprise anywhere. To be honest, that isn’t even the real issue, though. The problem is how bland our heroine is. The others talk about her like she’s some way out there alt-girl or some kind of rebel threatening the establishment. Having her played by the fresh-faced but not particularly intriguing Anna Kendrick works against those ideas and we never feel Beca will do anything other than what she eventually does. It feels like she’s been modeled after pop star Avril Lavigne, or possibly Pink, but without the edge of either.

Truth told, even with the paint-by-numbers storytelling and the horrible stereotypes Pitch Perfect is a fun flick. It’s strengths provide enough cover for the flaws to keep us patiently waiting on the next musical set. To be on the safe side, we get them everywhere: on the bus, in the shower, at impromptu competitions on campus and, of course, on the stage. This and the wonderful performance of Rebel Wilson keeps us in a good mood most of the way through.

MY SCORE: 6.5/10

[dell71]

Silver Linings Playbook
Directed by David O. Russell.
2012. Rated R, 122 minutes.
Cast:
Bradley Cooper
Jennifer Lawrence
Robert De Niro
Jacki Weaver
Chris Tucker
John Ortiz
Julia Stiles
Anupam Kher
Shea Whigham
Paul Herman
Dash Mihok
Brea Bee

We meet Pat Solitano Jr. (Cooper) as his mother Delores (Weaver) is picking him up from a mental healthcare facility. After a brief hiccup involving Paul’s buddy Danny (Tucker), they drive to their home in Philadelphia where they surprise his dad, Pat Sr. (De Niro). In short order, we learn Pat Jr. was sent away after a series of delusions culminated in a violent attack of the man his wife Nikki (Bee) was having an affair with. We also learn that he is obsessed with winning back her love despite the fact she’s moved away and has a restraining order out on him. Pat Jr. working extremely hard to prove himself worthy of her love while dealing with his demons ensues.

Through his unfiltered speech, therapy sessions and his family’s handling of him, Pat’s mental condition is thoroughly explored. In particular, we see the possible seeds of his problems through his father’s behavior. Pat Sr. is superstitious to a point of ridiculousness, even to his son. It’s part of what is evidently OCD. During the games played by his beloved Philadelphia Eagles remote controls have to be held a certain way, people have to sit in certain spots, etc. We know he’s prone to violent outbursts because we’re told he’s been banned from the stadium where the Eagles play after having been kicked out several times for beating people up. To show us this, the legendary De Niro gives one of his best performances in years. He’s fully a man stressed over his new line of business (basically, betting on Eagles’ games), exasperated by what’s become of his son’s life and beholden to his own artificial devices for creating luck. His interactions with Pat Jr. often turn confrontational.

Caught between the two is Delores. In the role of a mother supportive of both her men, sometimes to a fault she totally recognizes, Jacki Weaver does an excellent job conveying her character’s raggedness from being pulled to and fro. She tries to do right by everyone and often winds up little more than an enabler.

Then there’s Tiffany Maxwell. Played by Jennifer Lawrence. We quickly realize she’s as mentally and emotionally fragile as Pat Jr., but with a tougher shell. She’s the sister-in-law of another of Pat’s friends and a widow whose way of dealing with her issues is much to the delight of the men in the area. She also has occasional contact with Nikki and is willing to deliver messages to her from Pat Jr. making her invaluable in his eyes. Again proving herself a superior talent, Lawrence’s portrayal is note-perfect all the way through. Always at the appropriate times, she’s stand-offish, emotional, manipulative, confident and never quite stable.

Yes, the acting across the board is top-notch. If you need further evidence, every actor mentioned in this review, with the exception of Chris Tucker and Brea Bee, has earned an Oscar nomination for their work in this film. Truth told, Tucker is actually pretty good and Bee’s character has so little screen time she’s more a concept in Pat’s mind than an actual person. Aiding them mightily is the crisp dialogue, often improvised from what I’ve heard, and expert directing by David O. Russell. He’s made a cottage industry for himself of movies about contentious, not quite sane people. After all, his last movie was another wonderful flick full of folk who communicate at elevated decibels, The Fighter. This one inserts more comedy, but not of a crass or exploitive type. Laughs come from more true to life situations.

While we enjoy watching Silver Linings Playbook, we can’t help but spot the ending from very early on in the proceedings. That’s because at its core this is a date-movie, an unabashed romance. It does nothing if not march relentlessly toward the big kiss. Even this is preceded by our hero chasing down his true love after a wise elder tells him to go after her. This is pretty standard chick-flick stuff, but in David O. Russell’s capable hands it is far better than most of its ilk.

MY SCORE: 8/10

[wingsfan77]

I was really hoping the ending to "Silver Linings Playbook" was going to be different than the typical rom-com ending because the movie was pretty good and different from typical rom-coms up until that point, only part of the movie I didn't really enjoy.

[dell71]

Ai Weiwei: Never Sorry
Directed by Alison Klayman.
2012. Rated R, 91 minutes.
Cast:
Ai Weiwei
Danjing Chen
Ying Gao
Changwei Gu
Tehching Hsieh
Evan Osnos

Ai Weiwei is a world famous Chinese artist and human rights activist. His most frequent target is his own country’s government making him a dissident in their eyes. They have a history of silencing artists, intellectuals and anyone critical of their way of doing things, usually by imprisonment. Still, Weiwei has been fearlessly taking them on for years, not only in his art but with his tireless use of social media. He has created a movement among his people. This documentary follows him from fall of 2009 until shortly after his detainment in spring 2011.

The star of our show proves to be an inexhaustible force of nature. Much the way we think of Gandhi and MLK, Weiwei seems to be fighting for the rights of his people daily, without relent. We see him create art, with the help of a small army to implement his ideas, that takes digs at the powers that be in China. Other tmes we see him in direct confrontation with the law. Still other times he’s in America doing interviews about the political and social climate of his native land. Meanwhile, fellow critics of the Chinese government are jailed. In between all of this, we meet Weiwei’s family, some people who work for him and a few who’ve been long time supporters and/or benefactors. We not only get a feel for the man’s mission, but the passion he has for it and how infectious it has become. We really sense that he’s struck a chord with more than just the downtrodden and obviously disadvantaged, but with anyone who wants to better their society.

Of course, such a film almost can’t help becoming an exercise in hero worship. We get glowing endorsements from everyone interviewed. The opposing viewpoint is never expressed. This is expected from anyone connected to the Chinese government. However, is there not one person in China who disagrees? At the very least, does no one object to how clearly he’s influenced by Western Culture? More troubling is the glossing over of the flaws that make Weiwei human. As much as he cares for his cause, he seems as dispassionate about his family. It’s like he’s hardened to their concerns about his safety. In conversations with them he often comes across as cold and dismissive. It’s an understandable defense mechanism but one never discussed. The only one who seems to escape his cold shoulder is his young son, born of an extra-marital affair. That situation is brought up, but he’s not really pressed on it. We meet both his wife and the boy’s mother but neither speaks about how these events affected them. Weiwei himself matter of factly acknowledges he made a mistake, but it amounts to little more than shrugging his shoulders at the whole thing.

By the end, we get a portrait of a man who’s not always likeable but is fighting an extremely worthy battle. He does so armed with his imagination and Twitter account. He must be commended for standing up for what he believes in. With such dedication to both his ideals and working toward them combined with his popularity, it can be argued that Ai Weiwei is the most important artist in the world. If nothing else, Never Sorry ably conveys this point.

MY SCORE: 8/10

[dell71]

Moonrise Kingdom
Directed by Wes Anderson.
2012. Rated PG-13, 94 minutes.
Cast:
Jared Gilman
Kara Hayward
Bruce Willis
Edward Norton
Bill Murray
Frances McDormand
Tilda Swinton
Jason Schwartzman
Harvey Keitel
Bob Balaban

One morning, Scout Master Ward (Norton) awakes to find one of his troops missing. Sam (Gilman) has run away from the campsite. Ward promptly alerts the local authorities and the boy’s parents. It turns out Sam is an orphan and now that he’s had another incident, his foster father no longer wants him. Still, Ward and top cop Cpt. Sharp (Willis) begin a search of the island they’re on with the help of Troop 55, the unit under Ward’s command. A short while later, Suzy (Hayward) runs away from home, much to the chagrin of her parents Laura (McDormand) and Walt Bishop (Murray). By the way, the Bishops have an interesting dynamic going with Cpt. Sharp. What we know before any of the adults in the movie is that Sam and Suzy met up and are trying to disappear together. The search for them both ensues.

In typical Wes Anderson fashion, Moonrise Kingdom is a quirky film that looks different from other movies the first instant you lay eyes on it. He does something that’s almost unheard of in today’s cinematic environment, especially the American market. His movies feel like a collection of still shots with short stretches of people performing minimal movements linking them together. This is no exception. Due to the location and the lush scenery it provides, this technique works brilliantly. The dialogue is similarly sparse. There are no big, showy speeches or shouting matches even when emotions are obviously high. The trick is every feeling needed to hook us into the picture is more than ably conveyed. The actors do a wonderful job with body language and facial expression without over acting or mugging for the camera. Of course, even that comes back to Anderson and the type of performances he coaxes out of his cast. In his hands, a blank stare speaks volumes. It’s subtle storytelling at its finest.

Still, MK would be lost if the story it were telling weren’t interesting. Fortunately, it is. The nucleus is a tender story of young love. Floating in the plasma around it are other interesting things. We get a look at how twelve year old boys interact, complete with overblown machismo. There is also how adults view and deal with kids in general, those they see as troubled youth in particular. Finally, there is a marriage at the crossroads. All of these are handled without excessive exposition or manipulation. It all adds up to a fun, if a bit oddly executed film.

MY SCORE: 8.5/10

[shag773]

Silver Linings Playbook
Directed by David O. Russell.
2012. Rated R, 122 minutes.
Cast:
Bradley Cooper
Jennifer Lawrence
Robert De Niro
Jacki Weaver
Chris Tucker
John Ortiz
Julia Stiles
Anupam Kher
Shea Whigham
Paul Herman
Dash Mihok
Brea Bee

We meet Pat Solitano Jr. (Cooper) as his mother Delores (Weaver) is picking him up from a mental healthcare facility. After a brief hiccup involving Paul’s buddy Danny (Tucker), they drive to their home in Philadelphia where they surprise his dad, Pat Sr. (De Niro). In short order, we learn Pat Jr. was sent away after a series of delusions culminated in a violent attack of the man his wife Nikki (Bee) was having an affair with. We also learn that he is obsessed with winning back her love despite the fact she’s moved away and has a restraining order out on him. Pat Jr. working extremely hard to prove himself worthy of her love while dealing with his demons ensues.

Through his unfiltered speech, therapy sessions and his family’s handling of him, Pat’s mental condition is thoroughly explored. In particular, we see the possible seeds of his problems through his father’s behavior. Pat Sr. is superstitious to a point of ridiculousness, even to his son. It’s part of what is evidently OCD. During the games played by his beloved Philadelphia Eagles remote controls have to be held a certain way, people have to sit in certain spots, etc. We know he’s prone to violent outbursts because we’re told he’s been banned from the stadium where the Eagles play after having been kicked out several times for beating people up. To show us this, the legendary De Niro gives one of his best performances in years. He’s fully a man stressed over his new line of business (basically, betting on Eagles’ games), exasperated by what’s become of his son’s life and beholden to his own artificial devices for creating luck. His interactions with Pat Jr. often turn confrontational.

Caught between the two is Delores. In the role of a mother supportive of both her men, sometimes to a fault she totally recognizes, Jacki Weaver does an excellent job conveying her character’s raggedness from being pulled to and fro. She tries to do right by everyone and often winds up little more than an enabler.

Then there’s Tiffany Maxwell. Played by Jennifer Lawrence. We quickly realize she’s as mentally and emotionally fragile as Pat Jr., but with a tougher shell. She’s the sister-in-law of another of Pat’s friends and a widow whose way of dealing with her issues is much to the delight of the men in the area. She also has occasional contact with Nikki and is willing to deliver messages to her from Pat Jr. making her invaluable in his eyes. Again proving herself a superior talent, Lawrence’s portrayal is note-perfect all the way through. Always at the appropriate times, she’s stand-offish, emotional, manipulative, confident and never quite stable.

Yes, the acting across the board is top-notch. If you need further evidence, every actor mentioned in this review, with the exception of Chris Tucker and Brea Bee, has earned an Oscar nomination for their work in this film. Truth told, Tucker is actually pretty good and Bee’s character has so little screen time she’s more a concept in Pat’s mind than an actual person. Aiding them mightily is the crisp dialogue, often improvised from what I’ve heard, and expert directing by David O. Russell. He’s made a cottage industry for himself of movies about contentious, not quite sane people. After all, his last movie was another wonderful flick full of folk who communicate at elevated decibels, The Fighter. This one inserts more comedy, but not of a crass or exploitive type. Laughs come from more true to life situations.

While we enjoy watching Silver Linings Playbook, we can’t help but spot the ending from very early on in the proceedings. That’s because at its core this is a date-movie, an unabashed romance. It does nothing if not march relentlessly toward the big kiss. Even this is preceded by our hero chasing down his true love after a wise elder tells him to go after her. This is pretty standard chick-flick stuff, but in David O. Russell’s capable hands it is far better than most of its ilk.

MY SCORE: 8/10

The first pic you have in your post is actually in my Grandmother's kitchen. It was weird watching this movie because it was shot right where I grew up. I was in the movie theatre pointing out to my wife what street(s) he was jogging on. I took the day off from work and brought my wife down to watch them shoot. We saw them shoot the scene where Bradley was jogging down the street and runs into his buddy in front of his house. It was funny seeing Julia Stiles leaning out of the window to my grandmothers bedroom.

[dell71]

What to Expect When You're Expecting
Directed by Kirk Jones.
2012. Rated PG-13, 110 minutes.
Cast:
Cameron Diaz
Jennifer Lopez
Elizabeth Banks
Brooklyn Decker
Anna Kendrick
Dennis Quaid
Ben Falcone
Rodrigo Santoro
Chris Rock
Rebel Wilson
Thomas Lennon
Wendi McLendon-Covey
Chace Crawford

If you’re eternally optimistic like me, or not, and have children you’d expect to laugh during a movie that bills itself as “laugh out loud funny for any parent!” Trust me, it does. Says so right on the back cover of the DVD, exclamation point included. Sadly, this may be the best joke involved with this movie, even if it is on me. My mother was right. I’m too gullible. She warned you couldn’t always depend on the goodness of Mankind or of advertising geeks who work for movie studios.

Unlike the blurbs occupying real estate on its cover, the title What to Expect When You’re Expecting is accurate. After all, we do meet a handful of women who will very shortly be expecting. By the way, this movie is based on the best-selling advice book of the same name. That probably should’ve been a warning. Anyhoo, we then journey through pregnancy with the soon-to-be mamas. In short order there’s the fitness guru/reality tv star (Diaz), the pregnancy expert who’s never been pregnant (Banks), the photographer who can’t get pregnant (Lopez), the girl who runs a food truck (Kendrick) and the NASCAR trophy-wife (Decker). Other than Banks and Decker, these ladies have nothing to do with each other. Well, almost nothing. At some point, they cross paths with each other in the most brief and contrived ways possible but still don’t get involved in one another’s stories. No, the scene in the pic above never happens.

However unrelated they may be, they do have something in common besides swollen bellies. Not one of them is the least bit funny. Almost none, but we'll get to that. Part of the problem is these women are not all that likeable. They’re self-absorbed mongers whose pregnancies have little to do with the circle of life. Instead of nurturing bundles of joy they seem to be incubating accessories - assets in one’s portfolio or validation of self-worth, and so on. Most galling, one is merely a depressing plot point in a budding romance.

None of the actresses turn in memorable work, either. Elizabeth Banks fares best and is part of the funniest, most heartfelt and oddest scene. Lopez does her best to look constantly forlorn. Diaz’s Jillian Michaels impression is meant to be a hilarious parody but fails miserably at the hilarious part. Finally, Decker seems to be channeling Jaime Pressly making me wonder why they didn’t just get the real thing. For the most part their men blend seamlessly into the background. The normally unexciting Dennis Quaid plays Decker’s husband/racing legend and stands out simply because we’re positive he has a pulse. And yes, since this is a “zany” comedy everyone will go into labor at precisely the same time. Gee, without me you never would’ve guess…who am I kidding? You knew that was a sure bet as soon as the second lady turned up in a family way. I confess, there is one exception. J-Lo literally takes the Angelina Jolie route to family expansion. Even that wraps itself up right on cue. Sigh.

Sideline players fare ever-so-slightly better. Rebel Wilson is mostly just there but elevates the Banks scene I referenced earlier. Wendi McLendon-Covey hits with a few zingers during her limited time on-screen. Most consistently amusing is the group of fathers who walk together in the park, kids in tow, led by Chris Rock and Thomas Lennon. They aren’t “laugh out loud funny for every parent,” but they’re a welcome reprieve from all the hand-wringing and failed humor of the major storylines. None of this is enough to salvage this heap. What to Expect is a classic case of a talented ensemble given nothing to work with and going through the motions.

MY SCORE: 3/10

[dell71]

Argo
Directed by Ben Affleck.
2012. Rated R, 120 minutes.
Cast:
Ben Affleck
Bryan Cranston
Alan Arkin
John Goodman
Victor Garber
Tate Donovan
Clea DuVall
Christopher Denham
Scoot McNairy
Kerry Bishé
Rory Cochrane
Kyle Chandler

During the final days of Jimmy Carter’s presidency, the American Embassy in Iran is overrun by people angry with the U.S. for sheltering their recently deposed shah whom committed a number of atrocities against his own people. Hmm. This is part of an obvious pattern but since this is a movie review and not a political column we’ll keep it moving. In any event, over 50 Americans were taken hostage as it was hoped they could be exchanged for the shah. Amidst the mayhem, six Americans managed to escape and find refuge at the home of Canadian ambassador Ken Taylor (Garber). Since it is only a matter of time before captors of the rest figure out who is missing and where they are, big-wigs at the CIA are trying to come up with a plan to rescue them so that they don’t also become hostages or suffer a worse fate.

Exfiltration expert Tony Mendez (Affleck) is brought in and he quickly points out the flaws in all their ideas, but doesn’t have one of his own. Things change when his son’s love of science fiction movies inspires a plan so ridiculous it just might work. His idea is to pose as a producer scouting locations for his next film and leave with the escapees who will pose as his crew. Yes, this is based on a true story.

Argo succeeds mostly because it is devilishly tense. The conversations and debates among our six refugees or the hand-wringers of the CIA all carry a palpable sense of urgency. This and the progress we see the Iranians make in putting the puzzle together make it clear that the Americans are working against the clock. The other major reason it succeeds is because the comic relief is so well done. There are no bumbling fools or pratfalls, just sharp humor slicing through the thick of it at the perfect moments. It’s a masterwork crafted by Affleck, the director. For me, each of his three efforts from the special chair has been brilliant. By the way, Gone Baby Gone and The Town being the others. He may have made his name as an actor and dater of starlets, but it seems his true calling is behind the camera.

In front of the camera, he holds his own. However, the real acting kudos deserve to go to the rest of the magnificent cast. Each of them play their roles perfectly. Alan Arkin and John Goodman are both particularly exceptional. Both men can add this to a long list of fine supporting roles. For Goodman, that makes two just in 2012. He stole every scene in which he appeared in Flight.

Without any action scenes beyond the initial storming of the embassy and without demonizing an entire people as villains, Argo manages to steer clear of dull moments. Like any other movie ‘based on a true story’ it’s not 100% factual. However, in this case, liberties taken with the truth are wonderfully handled and enhance the viewing experience. This is grade A movie-making.

MY SCORE: 10/10