Dell's Good, Bad & Ugly Movie Reviews

[dell71]

Transporter 3
2008. Rated PG-13, 104 minutes.
Director: Olivier Megaton.
Starring Jason Statham, Natalya Rudakova, François Berléand, Robert Knepper.

Plot: The world's greatest transporter of illicit goods, Frank Martin (Statham) is back in another extended car commercial. This time he's forced out of retirement after a driver he recommended has proven to be unsatisfactory to his employers.

The Good: Its got plenty of the stuff we love Transporter movies for: car chases galore, tough but corny dialogue, an awkward love story and Frank beating up lots of bad guys at once. The fight choreography makes brilliant use of our hero's trademark black suit. Overall, its a victory simply by virtue of the fact it isn't egregiously bad like Transporter 2.

The Bad: Its got plenty of the stuff we hate Transporter movies for. The story-telling is barely coherent. The villains are one dimensional cartoon characters, at best. And of course, the stunts occassionally venture too far into the realm of the ridiculous.

The Ugly: Two-wheel motion between a pair of 18 wheelers......"almost" as bad as the scene in part 2 where Frank removed the bomb from the bottom of the car..."almost." You just have to see both to understand.

Recommendation: By now, you know if you want to a Transporter movie or not. This will do nothing to change that opinion, one way or the other. For those that dare, this is a lot better than the hyper-silly part 2 but not quite up to snuff with the original.

The Opposite View: Jeffrey M. Anderson, Combustible Celluloid

What the Internet Says: 5.9/10 on imdb.com (8/24/09), 38% on rottentomatoes.com, 51/100 on metacritic.com

MY SCORE: 5.5/10

[dell71]

took my sister to see RTWM, it was alright, the subplot with him being a mafia driver was dumb and unneeded as well.

Agreed.

[Buzzman]

Jason Statham should just retire unless Guy Ritchie wants him in his movie. Ive ahted him in everything except Revolver and Snatch.

[young2rice]

Jason Statham should just retire unless Guy Ritchie wants him in his movie. Ive ahted him in everything except Revolver and Snatch.

He wasn't too bad in The Italian Job/The Bank Job

[dell71]

He wasn't too bad in The Italian Job/The Bank Job

Truth.

Oh No She Didn't should have been the official name of the movie. Period.

More truth.

[Buzzman]

yea I forgot about The Bank Job, but The Itialian Job doesnt count ebcause he wasnt a main character and wasnt required to really do anything.

[Buzzman]

I watched Leaving las Vegas yesterday, one of the most depressing movies ive ever seen.

[dell71]

I watched Leaving las Vegas yesterday, one of the most depressing movies ive ever seen.

Somehow, I still haven't seen this movie in its entirety (just bits & pieces here & there)...hmmm...

[dell71]

Friday the 13th
2009. Rated R, 106 minutes.
Director: Marcus Nispel. Starring Derek Mears, Jared Padalecki, Danielle Panabaker, Amanda Righetti.

Plot: Lots of co-eds go to the area formerly known as Camp Crystal Lake in search of fun but only get all sorts of dead at the hands of Jason. A franchise reboot. Sorta.

The Good: Its exactly what you think a Friday the 13th movie will be. In keeping with F13 tradition, Jason piles up a rather impressive body count. As a matter of fact, it may be the highest in the series as Mr. Voorhees lays waste to not one, but two sets of weed puffin', alcohol swillin' fornicators. And he does so mostly in wonderfully gruesome fashion. By the way, those kills take a bit of a step back from the cartoonish style the franchise has become known for, giving it a darker feel more in line with the original than the played for laughs style of most of the sequels.

The Bad: Its exactly what you think a F13 movie will be. The acting is poor. The dialogue is silly, at best. The plot only advances in the event of another slaying. That last bit is what makes this a particularly pointless reboot. There is basically nothing new learned or shown about Jason. Fans were promised a more fully realized origin story and only got a new way he finds his trademark hockey mask. That took all of 30 seconds. In essence, instead of getting a new version of the original, we get a movie that chronologically wedges itself between parts II & III (chronological in the sense that he first wears the mask in Friday the 13th Part III). If we subtract those few seconds in which he dons said mask a much better name would've been Friday the 13th Part XI: Jason Returns to Crystal Lake ("returns" because if you weren't aware Part X takes place in outer space...and yes, this sorta ignores Freddy Vs. Jason.)

The Ugly: Worst dialogue ever uttered during a sex scene: "You got perfect nipple placement, baby!"

Recommendation: Either you like F13 movies, or you don't. If you do, you'll enjoy this but it won't knock your socks off. I think you'll be pleased that its a return to a less campy style of death scene and a slightly more human Jason. If you don't like them, this isn't going to change your mind so don't bother.

The Opposite View: Clay Cane, BET.com*

What the Internet Says: 5.8/10 on imdb.com (8/27/09), 26% on rottentomatoes.com, 34/100 on metacritic.com

SCORE VS. REAL MOVIES: 4/10
SCORE VS. OTHER FRIDAY THE 13TH MOVIES: 7/10


*There really is no true "opposite view" on this movie. Most of what the reviewers say rings true. However, I'm one of these idiots that just likes Jason flicks, so I can see it both ways, hence, the 2 scores.

[Ralnakor]

Dell, I just saw District 9 on Tuesday, and I must say it was one of the best movies I've seen this year. I think you'll like it. The believability of how the humans acted with the aliens is perfectly done. The one thing I will say about having seen it in theaters, Jackson and Blomkamp did an amazing job with the surround sound. There was one specific incident where we were inside a hut listening to a conversation between two aliens, and all of a sudden, seemingly off in the distance, we hear people approaching the hut. It was only coming out of the back right speakers and was adjusted perfectly. The sound on this movie really went a long way to showing just how much effort was put into making this movie.

That and there were only a couple times the CGI was really notable against everything else. Sure, you know it's CGI, but when only a handful of times it was very obvious in a movie that's all CGI, that's a hell of a job.

[dell71]

Dell, I just saw District 9 on Tuesday, and I must say it was one of the best movies I've seen this year. I think you'll like it. The believability of how the humans acted with the aliens is perfectly done. The one thing I will say about having seen it in theaters, Jackson and Blomkamp did an amazing job with the surround sound. There was one specific incident where we were inside a hut listening to a conversation between two aliens, and all of a sudden, seemingly off in the distance, we hear people approaching the hut. It was only coming out of the back right speakers and was adjusted perfectly. The sound on this movie really went a long way to showing just how much effort was put into making this movie.

That and there were only a couple times the CGI was really notable against everything else. Sure, you know it's CGI, but when only a handful of times it was very obvious in a movie that's all CGI, that's a hell of a job.

Thanx. I'm trying to sneak out of work early tomorrow to check it out. Wish me luck!

[Buzzman]

I thought the 1st 30 minutes were amazing in Friday the 13th but after that it stalled.

[Palooza]

Thanx. I'm trying to sneak out of work early tomorrow to check it out. Wish me luck!

do it. District 9 is fucking amazing.

[Buzzman]

I think yuo should see Inglourious Basterds instead.

[dell71]

I think yuo should see Inglourious Basterds instead.

I'll see it at some point but I've been dying to see District 9 since it came out & haven't had a chance until now (maybe).