1. Indianapolis (0-10) – Matt Kalil, OT, USC
Most of you guys are gonna think I’m crazy for not mocking Andrew Luck here but to be honest I think Indy trades the first pick with Miami, Washington or Seattle and gets a kings ransom for it. But for the sake of putting a player here I’ll mock Matt Kalil here because with the addition of Anthony Costanzo and Matt Kalil this year, Indy will have bookends for years to come.
2. Miami (2-7) – Andrew Luck, QB, Stanford
What do we have here? Andrew Luck to the Dolphins? If you’re wondering how he slipped past Indy read the previous pick. Anyway, Miami may have been able to squeak by with two wins against inconsistent teams, they will not be able to beat who they need to beat to get to the playoffs with Chad Henne and Matt Moore starting. Andrew Luck is a future pro bowler and will set this franchise up for success for the next 15 years.
3. St. Louis (2-7) – Justin Blackmon, WR, OSU
The Rams are struggling a lot on offense and are in dire need of a playmaker in the receiving corp. Blackmon is one of the best prospects in the draft and just what Sam Bradford needs to put the offense back on the map. An offensive lineman is also a pressing need but nobody worthy of the spot here at 3.
4. Carolina (2-7) – Quinton Coples, DE/OLB, North Carolina
I’m not entirely sure what the plan is for Carolina’s defense going forward but whether it be in the 3-4 or the 4-3, Coples can play either DE or Rush Linebacker. Arguably the best defensive player in the draft he should make an immediate impact in Ron Rivera’s defense.
5. Minnesota (2-7) – Alshon Jeffrey, WR, South Carolina
The Vikings need someone to protect Christian Ponder for the future but just like the Rams, there is no player worthy of the spot. Instead they will provide him with yet another weapon. With the loss of Rice in FA last year it pretty much spread the receivers thin. Jeffrey is a big body type WR and can cause mismatches in the endzone. Ponder would be ecstatic to have him to throw to.
6. Washington (3-6) – Matt Barkley, QB, USC
Mike Shanahan would be retarded not to take Barkley at six. Have you seen the debacle that is the QB situation in Washington? The Redskins have no choice but to take Barkley here. He is miles and miles better than Grossman and Beck and will finally give football fans in Washington something to cheer about.
7. Arizona (3-6) – Jonathan Martin, OT, Stanford
I know I said that there was no tackle worth taking just two picks ago but Arizona doesn’t get to pick again until the third round. They have to address the tackle position in a big way this offseason and Jon Martin is your prototypical left tackle. He has been doing wonderful for Andrew Luck at Stanford and should be able to protect the blindside of Kevin Kolb in Arizona.
8. Jacksonville (3-6) – Michael Floyd, WR, Notre Dame
The Jaguars don’t have a choice here. They have to fix the offense that is the worst in the NFL. Statistically they’re not the worst other than points scored but as a Jags fan they fucking suck and should be labled worse than worst. GM Gene Smith is known for his head scratching moves on draft day and taking Floyd at eight is pretty much par for the course. Hopefully they’ll trade back but I’m not holding my breath.
9. Cleveland (3-6) – Trent Richardson, RB, Alabama
With the injury questions about Peyton Hillis and the severe lack of a quality backup runner, the browns will look to take the best player on the board to fit a need that is sore on the offense. Richardson is arguably a better runner than Mark Ingram and will keep the pressure off the passing game and Colt McCoy.
10. Philadelphia (3-6) – Vontaze Burfict, LB, Arizona State
The Eagles have a huge problem with their defense. Their linebackers are horrible. Runningbacks are racking up the yards against their defense and they absolutely have to address this area in the offseason. Burfict is a standout linebacker at Arizona State and will transition well into the NFL. Andy Reid would be ecstatic to have such a playmaker on his defense.
11. Seattle (3-6) – Robert Griffin, QB, Baylor
You would think Pete Carroll would go with a prototypical quarterback like Landry Jones but not so fast my friend. I think he is seeing what Cam Newton is doing in Carolina and wants a piece of the pie. Griffin is a dynamic dual thread quarterback down in Texas and can likely transition that game to the NFL level. With as vanilla as Seattle is, Robert Griffin is just the player to change that.
12. Kansas City (4-5) – Dre Kirkpatrick, CB, Alabama
Kansas City’s number one need is not CB but looking into next year, Brandon Carr is likely going to be a free agent. He’s been doing exceptionally well for the Chiefs and could test the waters of Free Agency. Kansas City will take one of the best defenders in the class and take Kirkpatrick. Lining him up across from Brandon Flowers could lead to a very dominant pass defense.
13. San Diego (4-5) – Courtney Upshaw, DE/OLB, Alabama
San Diego hasn’t had a great rush linebacker since Shawne Merriman. Upshaw is a more than qualified replacement. Part of San Diego’s problem this year is the inability to produce a consistent pass rush and desperately need to go after someone. With the addition of Upshaw, The Chargers should be able to generate the pass rush they need to get to the quarterback all game long.
14. Tampa Bay (4-5) – Zach Brown, OLB, North Carolina
Quick name the Tampa Bay starting linebackers? Couldn’t? Neither could I. Ever since Derrick Brooks was let go the Bucs haven’t had a presence at linebacker. Zach Brown can play either play the weak side or the strong side and can be valuable in pass coverage and run stuffing. A much needed addition to give this defense and identity.
15. Denver (4-5) – Alfonzo Dennard, CB, Nebraska
With Trent Richardson already off the board the Broncos will have to address another need. The cornerback play has not been terrible in Denver but it could use an upgrade and an insurance policy for the aging Champ Bailey. Alfonzo has been a very dominant player this year and shouldn’t have any problems taking what he did at Nebraska this year to the NFL.
16. Tennessee (5-4) – Luke Kuechly, LB, Boston College
Have you seen Barrett Ruud this season? The guy is making a mockery of the linebacker position. He won’t be retained and will be replaced by Kuechly. Once upon a time the Titans prided themselves on their linebacker core but with Kuechly they can do that all over again.
17. Buffalo (5-4) – Ronnell Lewis, DE/OLB, Oklahoma
Buffalo has slowly transitioned into the 3-4. For the past two seasons they’ve had basically serviceable players at rush linebacker but this year I believe they will address it finally. Ronnell Lewis is having a phenomenal year at Oklahoma and is shooting up draft boards. The Bills would be excited to see Lewis fall in their laps.
18. Cleveland - from Atlanta (5-4) – Landry Jones, QB, Oklahoma
This may come as a shock to a lot of you but I feel that Mike Holmgren is going to see Jones still on the board and pull the trigger. Colt McCoy is playing good but I don’t think Pat Shurmur or Mike Holmgren are completely happy with that right now. Landry Jones has potential to be great and just like in most all drafts, a QB expected to be taken in the top ten falls late into the first round.
19. Cincinnati (6-3) – Morris Claiborne, CB, LSU
Claiborne falls a little further than expected but goes to an already good defense and can start opposite Leon Hall right away. Cincinnati is missing Jonathan Joseph, who is having a great year in Houston.
20. Detroit (6-3) – Riley Reif, OT, Iowa
I think this is the year Detroit finally addresses the LT spot. I’m a big Jeff Backus hater and even though offensive tackle isn’t the biggest need, Riley Reif is a steal at 20. He could be the protector of Matt Stafford’s blind side for years to come and with the way this team is looking, trips to the playoffs will be common.
21. Houston* (7-3) – Dontari Poe, DT, Memphis
The Texans are having a great first year in the 3-4. They lack talent like the Ravens or Steelers but the play calling is what makes them so good. The addition of Dontari Poe at the nose tackle will make this defense so much better. Poe is a large man capable of handling double teams and bull rushing lineman. A welcome addition to Wade Phillips’ defense.
22. New York Jets* (5-4) – Brandon Jenkins, DE/OLB, Florida State
This might be a tad early for Jenkins but he looks like a Rex Ryan type player. Fiery and Enthusiastic, Jenkins is a hell of a pass rusher. The Jets have always lacked a Terrell Suggs type pass rusher and Jenkins will be able to fill that void. With all the interesting blitz packages Ryan thinks of, Jenkins should have no problem harassing the quarterback.
23. Dallas* (5-4) – Peter Konz, C, Wisconsin
Dallas’s interior offensive line is a mess. Center is probably the greater need between it and guard. Peter Konz is making being a center look easy. He has no problem blocking in pass or rush situations. It seems like a good fit for Konz seeing as Tony Romo is being harassed all year and most of the runs have been to the outside.
24. Chicago* (6-3) – David DeCastro, G, Stanford
Just like Dallas, Chicago has problems with the guards and center. Chicago addressed the tackle position last draft and will likely address it again this year to continue to protect Jay Cutler. Wide Receiver is still a hole in the offense but just like every year, there isn’t someone at 24 worth taking.
25. Cincinnati - from Oakland* (4-4) – Cordy Glenn, G, Georgia
Cincinnati will attempt to protect their investment known as Andy Dalton. Dalton is having a great rookie year due to his great receivers and a decent running game. The offensive line is the exception. The interior protection has been lackluster and is in need of an upgrade. The Bengals take the best lineman on the board. Glenn is having a huge season and is part of the reason why Georgia is contending for the SEC title. That kind of impact is needed in Cinci to get them over the hump.
26. New York Giants* (6-3) – Manti Te’o, LB, Notre Dame
I bet Jerry Reese got all wet over Te’o still be on the board. I honestly don’t know how this guy drafts so I’m throwing this on the wall and hoping it sticks. Linebacker is the biggest need for the Giants and Te’o is a huge steal at 26. If Jerry Reese drafts based on a BPA strategy then he is getting that here and filling a need.
27. Baltimore* (6-3) – Mark Barron, SS, Alabama
Is Bernard Pollard really the answer? He is a journeyman nothing more, nothing less. Baltimore needs to keep helping the defense get younger so they can compete for years to come. Barron is the best safety available and although this could be considered a reach, Baltimore tends to draft based on need.
28. New England - from New Orleans* (7-3) – Janoris Jenkins, CB, North Alabama
The Patriots showed that they lack depth at corner when they played in front of a national audience. The defense did well that game against the Jets but remember they played against Mark Sanchez. Wait until they play against a Drew Brees or Aaron Rodgers then you can tell me how good they are. Jenkins may be a bit of a trouble maker but he is very talented and if anyone can put him in its place its Bill Bellichek.
29. San Francisco* (8-1) – Mike Adams, OT/OG, Ohio State
Mike Adams plays tackle at Ohio State but I think he would be better fit at guard at the next level. San Fran’s interior line has played well except for the LG spot. Chilo Rachal was replaced and Adam Snyder is a decent plug but there is not future with him. Mike Adams can replace him and be a staple on the offensive line for years to come.
30. New England* (6-3) – Jared Crick, DE/DT, Nebraska
Before Crick decided not to declare for the NFL last year, I had him going to New England so I’m mocking him here again. Now I honestly doubt they’ll still have this pick come April but I do think they need to address the DE spot. Crick is a lot like JJ Watt but on a smaller scale. Don’t get me wrong, Crick is a great defender but he is no Watt. Crick should be able to fit in well.
31. Pittsburgh* (7-3) – Chase Minnifield, CB, Virginia
Pittsburgh failed to take a corner last year and are still getting so-so play out of the ones they have. Minnifield will be a breath of fresh air for the Steelers. He is a nice mixture of physical and finesse and he’ll need both those tools to cover receivers like Anquan Boldin and AJ Green.
32. Green Bay* (9-0) – Brandon Thompson, DE/DT, Clemson
The rich get richer here with Green Bay getting the best player left. Thompson is an absolute burglary here as the last pick of the first round. Green Bay’s defense has been abysmal this year but an upgrade of the defensive line is just what the doctor ordered. The offense can carry the defense only for so long but with the addition of Thompson, stuffing the run and rushing the passer just got a whole lot easier.
Most of you guys are gonna think I’m crazy for not mocking Andrew Luck here but to be honest I think Indy trades the first pick with Miami, Washington or Seattle and gets a kings ransom for it. But for the sake of putting a player here I’ll mock Matt Kalil here because with the addition of Anthony Costanzo and Matt Kalil this year, Indy will have bookends for years to come.
2. Miami (2-7) – Andrew Luck, QB, Stanford
What do we have here? Andrew Luck to the Dolphins? If you’re wondering how he slipped past Indy read the previous pick. Anyway, Miami may have been able to squeak by with two wins against inconsistent teams, they will not be able to beat who they need to beat to get to the playoffs with Chad Henne and Matt Moore starting. Andrew Luck is a future pro bowler and will set this franchise up for success for the next 15 years.
3. St. Louis (2-7) – Justin Blackmon, WR, OSU
The Rams are struggling a lot on offense and are in dire need of a playmaker in the receiving corp. Blackmon is one of the best prospects in the draft and just what Sam Bradford needs to put the offense back on the map. An offensive lineman is also a pressing need but nobody worthy of the spot here at 3.
4. Carolina (2-7) – Quinton Coples, DE/OLB, North Carolina
I’m not entirely sure what the plan is for Carolina’s defense going forward but whether it be in the 3-4 or the 4-3, Coples can play either DE or Rush Linebacker. Arguably the best defensive player in the draft he should make an immediate impact in Ron Rivera’s defense.
5. Minnesota (2-7) – Alshon Jeffrey, WR, South Carolina
The Vikings need someone to protect Christian Ponder for the future but just like the Rams, there is no player worthy of the spot. Instead they will provide him with yet another weapon. With the loss of Rice in FA last year it pretty much spread the receivers thin. Jeffrey is a big body type WR and can cause mismatches in the endzone. Ponder would be ecstatic to have him to throw to.
6. Washington (3-6) – Matt Barkley, QB, USC
Mike Shanahan would be retarded not to take Barkley at six. Have you seen the debacle that is the QB situation in Washington? The Redskins have no choice but to take Barkley here. He is miles and miles better than Grossman and Beck and will finally give football fans in Washington something to cheer about.
7. Arizona (3-6) – Jonathan Martin, OT, Stanford
I know I said that there was no tackle worth taking just two picks ago but Arizona doesn’t get to pick again until the third round. They have to address the tackle position in a big way this offseason and Jon Martin is your prototypical left tackle. He has been doing wonderful for Andrew Luck at Stanford and should be able to protect the blindside of Kevin Kolb in Arizona.
8. Jacksonville (3-6) – Michael Floyd, WR, Notre Dame
The Jaguars don’t have a choice here. They have to fix the offense that is the worst in the NFL. Statistically they’re not the worst other than points scored but as a Jags fan they fucking suck and should be labled worse than worst. GM Gene Smith is known for his head scratching moves on draft day and taking Floyd at eight is pretty much par for the course. Hopefully they’ll trade back but I’m not holding my breath.
9. Cleveland (3-6) – Trent Richardson, RB, Alabama
With the injury questions about Peyton Hillis and the severe lack of a quality backup runner, the browns will look to take the best player on the board to fit a need that is sore on the offense. Richardson is arguably a better runner than Mark Ingram and will keep the pressure off the passing game and Colt McCoy.
10. Philadelphia (3-6) – Vontaze Burfict, LB, Arizona State
The Eagles have a huge problem with their defense. Their linebackers are horrible. Runningbacks are racking up the yards against their defense and they absolutely have to address this area in the offseason. Burfict is a standout linebacker at Arizona State and will transition well into the NFL. Andy Reid would be ecstatic to have such a playmaker on his defense.
11. Seattle (3-6) – Robert Griffin, QB, Baylor
You would think Pete Carroll would go with a prototypical quarterback like Landry Jones but not so fast my friend. I think he is seeing what Cam Newton is doing in Carolina and wants a piece of the pie. Griffin is a dynamic dual thread quarterback down in Texas and can likely transition that game to the NFL level. With as vanilla as Seattle is, Robert Griffin is just the player to change that.
12. Kansas City (4-5) – Dre Kirkpatrick, CB, Alabama
Kansas City’s number one need is not CB but looking into next year, Brandon Carr is likely going to be a free agent. He’s been doing exceptionally well for the Chiefs and could test the waters of Free Agency. Kansas City will take one of the best defenders in the class and take Kirkpatrick. Lining him up across from Brandon Flowers could lead to a very dominant pass defense.
13. San Diego (4-5) – Courtney Upshaw, DE/OLB, Alabama
San Diego hasn’t had a great rush linebacker since Shawne Merriman. Upshaw is a more than qualified replacement. Part of San Diego’s problem this year is the inability to produce a consistent pass rush and desperately need to go after someone. With the addition of Upshaw, The Chargers should be able to generate the pass rush they need to get to the quarterback all game long.
14. Tampa Bay (4-5) – Zach Brown, OLB, North Carolina
Quick name the Tampa Bay starting linebackers? Couldn’t? Neither could I. Ever since Derrick Brooks was let go the Bucs haven’t had a presence at linebacker. Zach Brown can play either play the weak side or the strong side and can be valuable in pass coverage and run stuffing. A much needed addition to give this defense and identity.
15. Denver (4-5) – Alfonzo Dennard, CB, Nebraska
With Trent Richardson already off the board the Broncos will have to address another need. The cornerback play has not been terrible in Denver but it could use an upgrade and an insurance policy for the aging Champ Bailey. Alfonzo has been a very dominant player this year and shouldn’t have any problems taking what he did at Nebraska this year to the NFL.
16. Tennessee (5-4) – Luke Kuechly, LB, Boston College
Have you seen Barrett Ruud this season? The guy is making a mockery of the linebacker position. He won’t be retained and will be replaced by Kuechly. Once upon a time the Titans prided themselves on their linebacker core but with Kuechly they can do that all over again.
17. Buffalo (5-4) – Ronnell Lewis, DE/OLB, Oklahoma
Buffalo has slowly transitioned into the 3-4. For the past two seasons they’ve had basically serviceable players at rush linebacker but this year I believe they will address it finally. Ronnell Lewis is having a phenomenal year at Oklahoma and is shooting up draft boards. The Bills would be excited to see Lewis fall in their laps.
18. Cleveland - from Atlanta (5-4) – Landry Jones, QB, Oklahoma
This may come as a shock to a lot of you but I feel that Mike Holmgren is going to see Jones still on the board and pull the trigger. Colt McCoy is playing good but I don’t think Pat Shurmur or Mike Holmgren are completely happy with that right now. Landry Jones has potential to be great and just like in most all drafts, a QB expected to be taken in the top ten falls late into the first round.
19. Cincinnati (6-3) – Morris Claiborne, CB, LSU
Claiborne falls a little further than expected but goes to an already good defense and can start opposite Leon Hall right away. Cincinnati is missing Jonathan Joseph, who is having a great year in Houston.
20. Detroit (6-3) – Riley Reif, OT, Iowa
I think this is the year Detroit finally addresses the LT spot. I’m a big Jeff Backus hater and even though offensive tackle isn’t the biggest need, Riley Reif is a steal at 20. He could be the protector of Matt Stafford’s blind side for years to come and with the way this team is looking, trips to the playoffs will be common.
21. Houston* (7-3) – Dontari Poe, DT, Memphis
The Texans are having a great first year in the 3-4. They lack talent like the Ravens or Steelers but the play calling is what makes them so good. The addition of Dontari Poe at the nose tackle will make this defense so much better. Poe is a large man capable of handling double teams and bull rushing lineman. A welcome addition to Wade Phillips’ defense.
22. New York Jets* (5-4) – Brandon Jenkins, DE/OLB, Florida State
This might be a tad early for Jenkins but he looks like a Rex Ryan type player. Fiery and Enthusiastic, Jenkins is a hell of a pass rusher. The Jets have always lacked a Terrell Suggs type pass rusher and Jenkins will be able to fill that void. With all the interesting blitz packages Ryan thinks of, Jenkins should have no problem harassing the quarterback.
23. Dallas* (5-4) – Peter Konz, C, Wisconsin
Dallas’s interior offensive line is a mess. Center is probably the greater need between it and guard. Peter Konz is making being a center look easy. He has no problem blocking in pass or rush situations. It seems like a good fit for Konz seeing as Tony Romo is being harassed all year and most of the runs have been to the outside.
24. Chicago* (6-3) – David DeCastro, G, Stanford
Just like Dallas, Chicago has problems with the guards and center. Chicago addressed the tackle position last draft and will likely address it again this year to continue to protect Jay Cutler. Wide Receiver is still a hole in the offense but just like every year, there isn’t someone at 24 worth taking.
25. Cincinnati - from Oakland* (4-4) – Cordy Glenn, G, Georgia
Cincinnati will attempt to protect their investment known as Andy Dalton. Dalton is having a great rookie year due to his great receivers and a decent running game. The offensive line is the exception. The interior protection has been lackluster and is in need of an upgrade. The Bengals take the best lineman on the board. Glenn is having a huge season and is part of the reason why Georgia is contending for the SEC title. That kind of impact is needed in Cinci to get them over the hump.
26. New York Giants* (6-3) – Manti Te’o, LB, Notre Dame
I bet Jerry Reese got all wet over Te’o still be on the board. I honestly don’t know how this guy drafts so I’m throwing this on the wall and hoping it sticks. Linebacker is the biggest need for the Giants and Te’o is a huge steal at 26. If Jerry Reese drafts based on a BPA strategy then he is getting that here and filling a need.
27. Baltimore* (6-3) – Mark Barron, SS, Alabama
Is Bernard Pollard really the answer? He is a journeyman nothing more, nothing less. Baltimore needs to keep helping the defense get younger so they can compete for years to come. Barron is the best safety available and although this could be considered a reach, Baltimore tends to draft based on need.
28. New England - from New Orleans* (7-3) – Janoris Jenkins, CB, North Alabama
The Patriots showed that they lack depth at corner when they played in front of a national audience. The defense did well that game against the Jets but remember they played against Mark Sanchez. Wait until they play against a Drew Brees or Aaron Rodgers then you can tell me how good they are. Jenkins may be a bit of a trouble maker but he is very talented and if anyone can put him in its place its Bill Bellichek.
29. San Francisco* (8-1) – Mike Adams, OT/OG, Ohio State
Mike Adams plays tackle at Ohio State but I think he would be better fit at guard at the next level. San Fran’s interior line has played well except for the LG spot. Chilo Rachal was replaced and Adam Snyder is a decent plug but there is not future with him. Mike Adams can replace him and be a staple on the offensive line for years to come.
30. New England* (6-3) – Jared Crick, DE/DT, Nebraska
Before Crick decided not to declare for the NFL last year, I had him going to New England so I’m mocking him here again. Now I honestly doubt they’ll still have this pick come April but I do think they need to address the DE spot. Crick is a lot like JJ Watt but on a smaller scale. Don’t get me wrong, Crick is a great defender but he is no Watt. Crick should be able to fit in well.
31. Pittsburgh* (7-3) – Chase Minnifield, CB, Virginia
Pittsburgh failed to take a corner last year and are still getting so-so play out of the ones they have. Minnifield will be a breath of fresh air for the Steelers. He is a nice mixture of physical and finesse and he’ll need both those tools to cover receivers like Anquan Boldin and AJ Green.
32. Green Bay* (9-0) – Brandon Thompson, DE/DT, Clemson
The rich get richer here with Green Bay getting the best player left. Thompson is an absolute burglary here as the last pick of the first round. Green Bay’s defense has been abysmal this year but an upgrade of the defensive line is just what the doctor ordered. The offense can carry the defense only for so long but with the addition of Thompson, stuffing the run and rushing the passer just got a whole lot easier.
