The Good, The Bad and The Ugly; Week 2

[steeljake]

2 weeks down, 14 to go and even in this early stage there is more than one team looking forward to the draft and the Andrew Luck sweepstakes, which you can follow by clicking -->here<--. The Colts sans Manning, the Seahawks, the Chiefs and the Vikings all seem to have the inside track as of right now, but I wouldn't count Cincy or the Jags out just yet.

It's not all negative this week. We had a rookie look like a veteran in Cam Newton and veteran look like a HoF'er in Tom Brady. A shoot out in Buffalo, a heroic effort in Frisco, a rebound in the steel city and a Detroit team on the giving end of a beat down for a change. We have ups, downs and even a few sideways slides to get to this week, so whadaya say we just get right to it, shall we?

The Good​

- Buffalo Bills

You know what they say… NOBODY CIRLCES THE WAGONS LIKE THE BUFFALO BILLS!!! Down 21-3 at the half #14 (no it was not Frank Reich) the Bills showed their moxie with 14 unanswered points in the 3rd quarter followed by an air show by both teams in the 4th. They may be headed to 2-1 with the Pats on deck, but right now the Bills are undefeated.

- Green Bay Packers

Am I the only one who thinks Aaron Rodgers is as cool as the other side of the pillow? It's too bad that qb in Atlanta has Ice in his nickname... maybe we should work on that... oh well. Down 10 zip before he got the ball and 13-7 at the half, Mr. Rodgers remained calm. It didn't hurt that Cam Newton was stuck in spread sets and over throwing his wideouts to one of the best secondary’s in football, but nonetheless Aaron stayed cool and got the W. 2-0 for the defending champs with a Bears team that struggled this week up next.

- Detroit Lions

Usually as early as week 2 I am writing the epitaph for the Lions seasonal grave stone. This year, not so much. With a much improved defense and a healthy qb they have themselves off to a 2-0 start. I found a Lions fan, not a bandwagoner by any means but a die hard, who had this to say about his team:

While the media praises us, Lions fans are staying cautiously optimistic. Granted, this is certainly not your 2007 Lions [who started 6-2 but finish 7-9] and we have plenty of talent on both sides of the ball (our defense has forced 8 turnovers in 2 games, pretty impressive). It's been said many times before by everyone that follows football, but it holds true, the Lions true potential rests on the arm & shoulder of exceptional QB Matthew Stafford who has been plagued with injuries his NFL career so far. I hold my breath every time I see him get hit, but so far, so good. The pieces are in place and a Wildcard birth is definitely possible, hell, it's not impossible to even fathom Detroit taking the NFC North. One game, one play at a time, the more Stafford stays upright, the greater the Lions chances of continuing to win are.

- Cleveland Browns

Wow, you guys beat the Colts without Peyton Manning... This is like beating a one legged man in a 40 yard dash. Well, to be fair it’s not like you lapped the hobbled old man, but a win is a win I guess.

- Tampa Bay Buccaneers

It is sooooooo lucky you guys decided to show up in the second half. There is no way any fan of this team could ever show their face again if they got beat by the Minnesota McNabb's. 1-1 is better than 0-2, for now.

- New Orleans Saints

The Saints got back into the swing of things so to speak with a convincing win at home against a heavy hearted Bears team. 6 sacks is definitely a boost for a defense not known to be tough, only time will tell if they can keep it up. Better to be 1-1 than 0-2.

- The New York J-E-T-S

I can't really say if this game was the Jets being this good or the Jaguars being that bad. To be honest it is probably more the latter than the former, but like we always say here at GBU central; a win is a win. So congrats to the Jets and welcome to 2-0 land.

- Pittsburgh Steelers

Hooray!!! We beat the Seahawks 24-0. This like winning a fight with your little brother. Everyone knew you would win and when you did, it wasn't by enough. Ben continues to support the theories that he is indeed made of old iron and steel from Pittsburgh's long gone steel mills. Not a low hit, broken nose or a sorority girl saying "No, wait.. .this isn't a good idea"(allegedly of course) can stop Big Ben. Maybe we can beat a team that is not in the Andrew Luck sweepstakes at some point, but next week will not be that time. I wonder if Kerry will all of the sudden have a bad hamstring...

- Tennessee Titans

I put this team in the good for beating a Ravens team that looked just plain nasty last week in their dismantling of Pittsburgh, but I still stand by my statements about Matt 'we-want-the-ball-and-we're-gonna-score' Hasselbeck. Good job Titans, welcome to .500.

- Washington Redskins

Hold on just one friggin' minute... The Redskins are 2-0 and making Rex Grossman not only look like a QB but a prognosticator as well? I guess stranger things have happened, though I can't seem to think of one at the moment. They did squeak out the win against the Cardinals, but even ugly wins count as wins. All hail Sexy Rexy?

- Dallas Cowboys
I have routinely crush Dallas, and will continue when given the chance, and Tony Romo on many occasions. This will not be one of them. Granted they struggled to beat a not-so-good 49er team, they did however do it with their qb having a broken rib and punctured lung. Big time step up by Romo, now let's see if he can do that in December.

- New England Goldenboy Pats

So it would seem Brady has become angered with all the talk of being a pretty boy and soft and all that. The last time he was so mad this team dropped fitty burgers all over the league and was 16-0. At least it is fun to watch, if he is not doing it to your team that is. I hope Dan Marino is ready to pass the crown on for most pass yards in a single season.

- Atlanta Falcons

Where the hell was this team last week in Chi-town? Granted Mike Vick got knocked out by his own player and the back was some dude who I never heard of, but a win at home is always a good thing. Matty Ice has to love beating the man whose shadow he will never grow out of, short a super bowl win that is. Their first division game is next with a trip to Tampa Bay so we shall see which team the Falcons really are.

- The New York Football Giants

The Blue Crew looked like they would self destruct with failures on 3rd down plaguing them in the first quarter but a stiff D held the Rams out of the endzone and scored a TD to add to Eli's two and Brandon Jacobs 1 to carry them over their old defensive coordinator. The Giants got the win, but like their partner at the Meadowlands (I don't care what it is called now so save the corrections) the bad play of their opponent helped them out.

1 down, 2 to go... and now for a musical interlude...

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XnABRPS37hk&ob=av2n"]Coheed and Cambria - The Suffering - YouTube[/ame]
Now back to our regularly scheduled tomfoolery...

The Bad​

- Oakland Raiders

Losing an 18 point lead even on the road on the opposite coast gets you a spot in the bad. Look at it this way, at least the game was watchable...

- Carolina Panthers

Yes, Cam Newton is the real deal. However putting him in spread sets and gunning it down the field is not gonna get a W. What the hell happened to the running game in Carolina? Did Coach Rivera take a page from Andy Reid’s book at eat them? Come on guys, do something to help Cam, not wear him out.

- Baltimore Ravens

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!! Killed the Steelers then got busted by the Titans... way to keep up that intensity. Man do I love it when the Ravens lose...

- Philadelphia Eagles

This message is from the Atlanta fans to one Mike Vick:

 

All I really have to add is that if you are gonna taunt someone on your way out of the game by pointing at the scoreboard at least be sure the back up and the defense can do their job.

- San Diego Chargers

Norv Turner still being the head coach of this team is a bigger mystery than who really shot JFK. He panicked early and gave up 3 points and it was all Brady all the time after that. Philip Rivers is good, but he ain't Golden Boy good. Every time this team falls flat on their face somewhere Marty is crackin' a beer and a smile... and we are smilin' and drinking right along with him.

- St. Louis Rams

So it would seem that to score you need to have, oh I don't know, maybe some healthy wide outs and an offensive coordinator that knows how to call plays. It was not so much that the Giants beat them but they beat themselves. The Rams are not good, don't get me wrong, but they certainly aren't this bad.

- Denver Broncos

The Broncos won you say? I say they barely beat the Bungles who are just about as good as the Seahawks. To the bad you go. Have a nice day, or don't. It won't matter either way to me.

Normally this spot is reserved for a cleverly put together fake ad thrashing someone for who they are or what they did. This week however we will not be having a word from our sponsor but instead a t-shirt to make the teams who made the Ugly feel just a little bit better about themselves:

 

Enjoy everyone!

The Ugly​

- The Kansas Shi**y Chiefs

48-3 against anyone is bad, but even with Detroit on the way back up being one of their stepping stones is not pretty. Charles is out for the year, Todd Haley is clueless and even the fans are wishing for the return of Herm, well maybe not yet. 0-16 is not only possible but probable.

- Indianapolis Colts

I only have one question; how bad can Curtis Painter be to have to sit behind Grandpa Collins? Either Polian is throwing his hat into the Andrew Luck sweepstakes or he just plain sucks. I hear David Garrard is available...

- Minnesota Vikings

So this time you had a lead and let it slip away... is this team just going down the list of 101 ways to lose a football game one by one or something? Why did they draft a QB in the first round and is he really worse than what McNasty is doing? So many questions to ask and yet I don’t really care enough about the responses to go on with this…

- Jacksonville Jaguars

Ok, you cut your starting QB 2 days before the season starts for Luke McCown. Yea that’s lookin' like a brilliant move isn't it? Mr. McCown's passer rating for this week: 1.8. Yes that is one-point-eight, and no it isn't a typo. Let The Blaine Gabbert era begin.

- Seattle Seahawks

Well at least they got shut out by a team that has been to the super bowl recently, too bad that team beat them in one of said super bowl appearances. I found an actual sober fan and he has plenty to say:

www.virtualsportsdaily.com]While[/url] all eyes are now fixated on the Chiefs and Colts in the Andrew Luck sweepstakes - the clear cut worst team in the NFL right now resides in the Pacific Northwest.

The Seattle Seahawks are not only miserable on offense under the guidance of Viking castoffs Tarvaris Jackson and offensive coordinator Darrel Bevell, they are just as bad on defense and special teams.

This is a team marred by injuries on the offensive side of the football with their two prized free agent signings Sidney Rice and Robert Gallery out for an indefinite period of time. This is a team that cannot run-block or pass-block with any consistency whatsoever, nor are they able to sustain any semblance of a balanced drive to keep a small, undersized and overmanned defense off the field.

Through two games, the Seahawks leading rusher is Marshawn Lynch with 44 yards. Tarvaris Jackson has thrown for just 356 yards in 8 quarters of play, compared to rookie Cam Newton who has eclipsed 400 yards in consecutive games. Not surprisingly, the Seahawks offense ranks dead last after two weeks of play.

Defensively, aside from Earl Thomas, the unit looks like an abomination. They have recorded a grand total of two sacks in two games and have yet to take away the football a single time.

This also isn't mentioning the special teams disasters that have taken place in the first two weeks, with a gaudy 40 yards per kickoff return surrendered and another 14 yards per punt return surrendered. They have also had a kickoff and punt brought back for touchdowns against them, thanks to Ted Ginn's "minute of fun" in the season opener.

The Steelers attacked the Seahawks with the precision you would expect from a Super Bowl contending team. They were able to run the ball seemingly at will in between the 20's, and they were able to provide Ben Roethlisberger ample time to find his dangerous wide receivers in the open field. There is no reason to believe future opponents won't be able to do the same thing, and until the Seahawks open up the offense more, and the defense and special teams begin to give this team better opportunities for quick points - you are looking at a long, long season in the Emerald City.

Not much I can add to that.

Well folks, that's all I have for this week. Tune in next week when we will hear Kerry Coillins say; "You want to know about the game? What game? I have no idea what you're talking about..." Until then remember this is my opinion and that and $19 bucks will get you a real fake jersey. Send all hate mail, love letters and death threats to gbu_central@yahoo.com and be good or be good at it.

 

[Hasselbeck]

That Seahawks writer is brilliant.

 

[krulmichael]

That Seahawks writer is brilliant.

That Lions fan was more to the point. :smug:

 

[MrBill]

Good stuff SJ