Dell's Pointless Lists Presents: The Decade in Movies

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  • dell71
    Enter Sandman
    • Mar 2009
    • 23919

    Dell's Pointless Lists Presents: The Decade in Movies

    At long last, the first decade of the new millennium has reached its end. Movie wise, its been a stronger decade than often given credit for. Part of the problem is the slew of big budget crap that floods the multiplexes every summer. There’s also the Oscar rush every year. People wanting quality films don’t get that many until November when every movie seems to either be about Christmas or vying for those gold statuettes. So when the average joe looks up all those top 10 of the year lists the critics put up, they’re likely to find five movies or more that not only they haven’t seen, but may not have even achieved wide release, yet. So thinking back on what they have seen, that quality seeking loner will remark how this year (whatever year it is) sucked for movies. The rest of us judge it on how much they liked those summer blockbusters. For these reasons, and probably more, its easier making a list of the decade’s best. True, there are so many more movies to choose from but with the exception of the current year, we know everything that’s been released for all of the years prior. The handful of movies making their case for Oscar glory will have to really impress.

    From a personal standpoint, I have to note that I myself am only human. I love movies but yet have found a way to get paid to watch them (at least not lucratively). And though I’ve always loved movies, and watched a movie or two a week for most of my life, it was only about 5 years ago I suddenly became an insatiable film buff. Until then, I’d seen lots of movies but usually only the ones that either achieved wide release or had loads of action. Since then, I’ve watched pretty much anything I can get my hands on, old or new. Bottom line: I haven’t seen everything. I hope you can forgive me if your favorite isn’t mentioned.

    Enough of this crap, let’s get on with it…


    The Decade in Movies
    2000 – 2009


    I’ll give you a brief summary of my thoughts on each year, including my top 10. Then it’s on to the best, worst and oh so bad they’re awesome of the entire decade. By the way, any movie denoted with an * is originally and/or mostly in a foreign language. Have fun…


    2000

    The first year of the decade was an odd one for movies. Americans flocked to see two types of movies they normally don’t. One made some sense given the popularity of the principals. That was the Spike Lee directed (though hardly a regular Spike “joint”) The Original Kings of Comedy, a standup comedy movie featuring Steve Harvey, Cedric the Entertainer, D.L. Hughley and the late-great Bernie Mac. The other was a kung-fu love story confident enough to not even bother with English dubbing. Americans are known for being unwilling to “read” movies. Still, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon received both critical acclaim and box-office success. In the end though, it was all about a good ol’ sword and sandal epic starring Russell Crowe named Gladiator.

    Best Picture Winner:
    Gladiator

    My Top 10:
    1. Requiem for a Dream
    2. Bamboozled
    3. Snatch
    4. American Psycho
    5. Traffic
    6. Almost Famous
    7. Amores Perros*
    8. Gladiator
    9. Unbreakable
    10. O Brother, Where Art Thou?

    Honorable Mention: Cast Away, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon*, Love & Basketball, Men of Honor, The Original Kings of Comedy, Remember the Titans, Way of the Gun, X-Men


    2001

    Starting in late 2000, Tolkien fever gripped the movie-going public when the first trailers for the opening film of what would become one of the most beloved trilogies in cinematic history appeared. Of course, that movie was The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring. By the time it actually opened in theaters in ’01, it had become one of the most anticipated movies of all time. And it didn’t disappoint. 2001 was also the year of the black actor as the Oscars handed out the second ever Best Actor and first ever Best Actress to black performers with the awards going to Denzel Washington for Training Day and Halle Berry for Monster’s Ball, respectively. Also, the man who would go on to be the biggest movie star in the world, Will Smith garnered an Oscar nom for bringing ring legend Muhammad Ali to the big screen. However, it was once again all about Russell Crowe as he starred in a second consecutive Best Picture winner.

    Best Picture Winner:
    A Beautiful Mind

    My Top 10:
    1. Memento
    2. Black Hawk Down
    3. Blow
    4. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
    5. Shrek
    6. Y Tu Mama Tambien*
    7. Ocean’s Eleven
    8. A Beautiful Mind
    9. Ichi the Killer*
    10. Training Day

    Honorable Mention: A.I.: Artificial Intelligence, Ali, Sexy Beast, Shallow Hal


    2002

    2002 marked the first year of a new era in American cinema: Post-911 angst. There have been action flicks and thrillers based on terrorism for quite some time. Now, those movies were taken more seriously and directors let that fear creep into movies that weren’t really about that brand of crime. So ’02 not only gave us such blatant terrorism flicks as The Sum of All Fears and XXX but also others that played on the fear like 25th Hour, John Q and Panic Room. Hand-to-hand combat in American movies also changed forever with the release of the seminal The Bourne Identity. Former rapper Ice Cube officially moved into family friendly territory with the success of Barbershop while another rapper, Eminem, received critical acclaim for his role in the semi-autobiographic 8 Mile. The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers was as successful as its predecessor. Still, the biggest splash was made by a guy in a mask. Even though X-Men was very profitable two years prior, and the Blade franchise put out its second successful film this year, the official rebirth of the comic book movie as an event the entire nation anticipates is pretty much credited to Spider-Man. However, it would be the musical Chicago that hit the high notes for the Academy.

    Best Picture Winner:
    Chicago

    My Top 10:
    1. City of God*
    2. Road to Perdition
    3. Gangs of New York
    4. We Were Soldiers
    5. 25th Hour
    6. The Bourne Identity
    7. The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
    8. 8 Mile
    9. Blade II
    10. Minority Report

    Honorable Mention: Auto Focus, Equilibrium, Hero, The Sum of All Fears, Infernal Affairs*


    2003

    This year was all about comebacks. Quentin Tarantino returned the big screen in a big, if unorthodox way. He took his much anticipated kung-fu/revenge epic, Kill Bill and split it in two. He released the first half as Volume 1 much to the delight of fans and critics. Also returning were the Wachowski Brothers who put out both of the final two chapters of The Matrix trilogy (Reloaded and Revolutions). Most people seem to think they should’ve stopped after one. Two giants of the slasher genre came back from the dead to hack, cut and mutilate their way to big box-office numbers for Freddy Vs. Jason while Demi Moore showed up as the villain in a bikini in Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle. Another return that didn’t go so well was that of Hulk. The much anticipated superhero flick flopped once word got out that it was, um, cerebral to put it nicely. However, when it was all said and done, ’03 was really all about wrapping up our new favorite trilogy with The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King.

    Best Picture Winner:
    The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King

    My Top 10:
    1. Oldboy*
    2. Kill Bill, Volume 1
    3. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
    4. Monster
    5. The Wooden Camera*
    6. Bad Santa
    7. Finding Nemo
    8. A Tale of Two Sisters*
    9. Mystic River
    10. X2: X-Men United

    Honorable Mention: Antwone Fisher, Identity, The Italian Job, Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl, Radio, Underworld


    2004

    Sequels and prequels were everywhere in ’04. Though most were either terribly bland or terribly terrible there were some that made us stand up and take notice. Of course, the biggest of these was the return of the famous web-slinger in Spider-Man 2. There was also the completion of Quentin Tarantino’s epic with the release of Kill Bill, Volume 2 and everyone’s favorite ogre hit it big, as well with Shrek 2. Surprisingly, the big green guy was not our favorite animated flick of the year. That honor went to The Incredibles. These two movies headed a solid year for cartoon flicks which also included The Polar Express, Shark Tale, The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie and the decidedly adult-themed Team America: World Police, if you can call that animation. ’04 also introduced us to what has become one of the most lucrative horror franchises of all time, and the joys of torture-porn with the release of a low budget mind-bender with Se7en’s sensibilities named Saw. Actually, we were first introduced to “the joys of torture-porn” by a movie with far more violence and a decidedly different objective, the highly successful and equally controversial, The Passion of the Christ. Through it all, the fringe sport of female boxing ruled the day as Dirty Harry…er…the man with no name…er…Clint Eastwood gave us Million Dollar Baby.

    Best Picture Winner:
    Million Dollar Baby

    My Top 10:
    1. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
    2. Maria Full of Grace*
    3. Sideways
    4. Hotel Rwanda
    5. Ray
    6. Million Dollar Baby
    7. Kill Bill, Volume 2
    8. Spider-Man 2
    9. The Incredibles
    10. Napoleon Dynamite

    Honorable Mention: Bad Education*, Collateral, Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story, Fahrenheit 9/11, The Girl Next Door, Kung Fu Hustle*, The Machinist, Man on Fire, The Passion of the Christ*, Shrek 2


    2005

    The year of the geek! Dark, stylistic but not necessarily for kids comic book movies (or graphic novels if you’re gonna be anal about it) were all the rage in 2005 as Sin City and the return of the caped crusader to theaters, Batman Begins had fanboys all excited. Even the Keanu Reeves vehicle Constantine did well at the box office. Given the reputation of grown men who are into such things, how fitting is it that The 40 Year Old Virgin was one of the year’s biggest comedies, right there with Wedding Crashers. Newly crowned geek-God Peter Jackson, fresh off the success of The Lord of the Rings franchise, gave us a modern update on King Kong. Through the use of some of the best cgi ever, the big guy has never looked better. Meanwhile, Star Wars fans simultaneously rejoiced and went into mourning as the best, and last, of that franchise’s new trilogy Revenge of the Sith hit it big. For better or worse, the world was introduced to “Brangelina” as Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie met and fell in love on the set of spy vs. spy thriller Mr. & Mrs. Smith. The tabloids would never be the same. Also for better or worse, a playwright who had been extremely popular with black audiences, Tyler Perry, began a ridiculously profitable movie career with the release of the unsuspected hit, Diary of Mad Black Woman. However, what ’05 will really be remembered for is possibly the most controversial Best Picture winner of all time. Charges of homophobia were hurled at the Academy from straights and gays alike when Crash beat out Ang Lee’s homosexual cowboy epic Brokeback Mountain. Personally I thought, not only was Crash better but there were two better “alternative lifestyle” movies, Mysterious Skin and Transamerica.

    Best Picture Winner:
    Crash

    My Top 10:
    1. Crash
    2. Sin City
    3. Batman Begins
    4. Hard Candy
    5. Lady Vengeance*
    6. The 40 Year Old Virgin
    7. Hustle & Flow
    8. Mysterious Skin
    9. Walk the Line
    10. Brick

    Honorable Mention: Cinderella Man, Corpse Bride, Good Night and Good Luck, Jarhead, King Kong, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Lord of War, Munich, Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith, Syriana, Tsotsi*


    2006

    Another batch of sequels were rolled out in ’06. There were plenty for franchises of recent vintage, like Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest, Saw III, The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift, Final Destination 3 and Ice Age 2: The Meltdown. What was a bit strange were the sequels to movies that had almost been forgotten or relegated to cult status with Clerks II, Rocky Balboa, Superman Returns and the ultra-bad Basic Instinct 2. Then there was everyone’s new favorite reboot, as the James Bond franchise essentially started over with Casino Royale. America laughed hard at its own bigotry and made a hero, of sorts, out of a fictional foreigner with the success of Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan. Meanwhile, the nation’s favorite book The Da Vinci Code came to the big screen featuring Tom Hanks in a very bad hairpiece. For the first time since 2000’s Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon a foreign language movie, Pan’s Labyrinth made mainstream America stand up and take notice. The ultra-cute indie flick, Little Miss Sunshine did the same. The internet affected movies in a big way for the first time with unprecedented pre-release hype and subsequent success of Snakes on a Plane. Finally, with no superhero dominating the cinemascape for the first time in a few years, gangsters cut in on the territory. Martin Scorcese’s The Departed, a remake of Infernal Affairs wacked everybody at the Oscars, giving him his long-overdue, first win for Best Director. Well, everybody except a former American Idol contestant, Jennifer Hudson, who couldn’t win the glamorized karaoke contest but took home an Oscar for Best Supporting Actress for her work in Dreamgirls.

    Best Picture Winner:
    The Departed

    My Top 10:
    1. Children of Men
    2. The Departed
    3. Pan’s Labyrinth*
    4. Letters From Iwo Jima*
    5. Inside Man
    6. Casino Royale
    7. The Pursuit of Happyness
    8. Blood Diamond
    9. V For Vendetta
    10. Monster House

    Honorable Mention: 16 Blocks, Flushed Away, Half Nelson, Little Miss Sunshine, Lucky Number Slevin, Miami Vice, Running Scared, Thank You For Smoking


    2007

    Gangsters protected their turf in ’07 with American Gangster, based on the story of real life heroin dealer Frank Lucas. Strangely enough, cowboys even returned to the movie frontier as we got a true successful western with 3:10 to Yuma. Still, neither was a match for giant robots as Transformers descended on planet Earth. Superheroes returned and made lots of money, even though few over 10 admit to liking either Spider-Man 3, Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer or Ghost Rider. Conversely, many people say they loved the Tarantino/Rodriguez collaboration Grindhouse, featuring a 1970s homage-paying movie by each director, but it flopped at the box-office. Go figure. After the moderate success of 2006’s Miami Vice, a few more old tv shows made their way to the big screen. Aside from Transformers, there was Alvin and the Chipmunks, Reno 911!: The Movie, The Simpsons Movie and TMNT (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles). Pregnancy was also a big topic at the movies with the success of Knocked Up and Juno. However, the return of the action hero ruled the summer with The Bourne Ultimatum, Live Free or Die Hard and the roid-raging slice-tacular sword and sandal epic 300. Nevertheless, it was the Coen Brothers almost scoreless but thought-provoking shoot-em-up No Country for Old Men that would take home the gold.

    Best Picture Winner:
    No Country for Old Men

    My Top 10
    1. There Will Be Blood
    2. Gone Baby Gone
    3. No Country for Old Men
    4. 3:10 to Yuma
    5. Black Snake Moan
    6. American Gangster
    7. Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead
    8. The Kingdom
    9. Talk to Me
    10. The Great Debaters

    Honorable Mention: The Bourne Ultimatum, Charlie Wilson’s War, The Diving Bell and the Butterfly*, Grindhouse, Hot Fuzz, I’m Not There, Persepolis*, Ratatouille, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street


    2008

    Teenage girls everywhere turned the teenage vampire love story Twilight into a monster hit. Meanwhile, monster movie fans fell in love with the cam-corder aesthetics of Cloverfield which depicted umpteenth millionth cinematic destruction of New York City, though some lamented the obvious 9/11 overtones of certain scenes. Fitting that it featured a giant cgi creature because what followed was arguably the best single year for animated features in cinematic history. Families were treated to Bolt, Horton Hears a Who, Kung Fu Panda, Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa, Tale of Despereaux and the Academy Award winning Wall-E. Not to mention, Space Chimps and Star Wars: Clone Wars made money as well. Superheroes were especially strong this year, as well. They included Hancock, Hellboy II: The Golden Army, The Incredible Hulk and Iron Man. They all stopped lots of crime, made tons of money and received mostly favorable reviews doing it. However, they all paled in comparison to that one superhero who actually doesn’t have any superpowers, The Dark Knight, which, with the help of a great performance by the then-just deceased Heath Ledger as the Joker, became one of the highest grossing movies of all time. A couple other non-superpowered heroes returned to the silver screen, also in Rambo and Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Still, it was the return of Mickey Rourke, brilliant in The Wrestler that warmed our hearts the most. Well, that and a little movie that used Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? as a backdrop, Slumdog Millionaire.

    Best Picture Winner:
    Slumdog Millionaire

    My Top 10
    1. The Dark Knight
    2. The Wrestler
    3. In Bruges
    4. Let the Right One In*
    5. Frost/Nixon
    6. Wall-E
    7. 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days*
    8. Gran Torino
    9. Milk
    10. Slumdog Millionaire*

    Honorable Mention: The Changeling, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Dr. Seuss’ Horton Hears a Who, Iron Man, JCVD*, Kung Fu Panda, Rachel Getting Married, Traitor, Vicky Cristina Barcelona


    2009

    Action-sci-fi was all the rage this year. The sequel to Transformers made big dough, as expected. There was also the much anticipated reboot of Star Trek, and almost equally awaited movie about another line of toys, G.I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra, the graphic novel based Watchmen plus family friendly fare Monsters vs. Aliens and Race to Witch Mountain. Of course, the most critically acclaimed sci-fi wasn’t an action flick at all, District 9. Horror fans celebrated what is probably the best year of the decade for the genre with the critically successful Drag Me to Hell, Paranormal Activity and Orphan combined with the commercial success of My Bloody Valentine 3-D, The Haunting in Connecticut, The Last House on the Left, The Final Destination and the reboot Friday the 13th. Then of course, there was the horror/comedy hybrid Zombieland that got us all running for our lives and laughing about it. Teenage girls into light horror flocked to the Twilight sequel New Moon making that a hit while their little sisters dragged mom and dad to Hannah Montana: The Movie. Us guys got our action thrills from Taken, our laughs from The Hangover and were completely blown away by Inglourious Basterds. Ladies anxious to use that box of Kleenex got two treats this year: My Sister’s Keeper and Precious. In the end, James Cameron’s uber-budgeted, technological wonder Avatar dominated all talks.

    Best Picture Winner:
    To be determined

    My Top 10
    1. Sugar*
    2. Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire
    3. Up
    4. Inglourious Basterds
    5. Zombieland
    6. Drag Me to Hell
    7. The Hangover
    8. Waltz With Bashir*
    9. Tyson
    10. District 9

    Honorable Mention: Coraline, Paranormal Activity, State of Play

    Sidenote: I want to include Black Dynamite on that top 10. However, it has yet to receive wide release and may do so in 2010, so I’ll refrain, for the time being.

    Disclaimer: I’ve yet to see all I’ve wanted to from 2009. Therefore, this is my top 10 “so far.”

    With the disclaimer mind, here’s some of the movies I haven’t seen that keep popping up on other Top 10 lists:

    (500) Days of Summer, Avatar, Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans, Brothers, An Education, Fantastic Mr. Fox, The Hurt Locker, Moon, The Road, A Serious Man, Up in the Air, The White Ribbon
    Last edited by dell71; 01-08-2010, 08:15 PM.
  • dell71
    Enter Sandman
    • Mar 2009
    • 23919

    #2
    View from the Bottom

    Each year, it seems there are more movies released than the year before. Unfortunately, that means there’s lots and lots of crap put out each year. As far as I’m concerned, these were...

    The 10 Worst Movies of the Decade


    10. Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones (2002)
    The first prequel to George Lucas’ historic Star Wars trilogy, The Phantom Menace was so-so at best and reviled by many for the minstrel-esque Jar Jar Binks but at least something happened. AotC was a mind-numbing string of scenes following one jedi knight from planet to planet to have conferences filled with pseudo-political and pseudo-religious jargon interspersed with scenes of the jedi knight in training whining to, for and about his girlfriend. By the way, the knight in training was played by Hayden Christensen who gave one of the worst performances I’ve ever seen in a motion picture which doesn’t use all of the director’s friends for a cast.



    9. Pearl Harbor (2001)
    Following the success of Titanic, it was only a matter of time before Hollywood would find some other historic event to ruin. That’s precisely what happened when the film responsibilities for one of the most tragic events in American history was dropped into the lap of one Michael Bay. If you only possess a perfunctory knowledge of World War II, you know that Pearl Harbor in Hawaii was surprise-attacked by the Japanese (you may or may not know this occurred on December 7, 1941) and this compelled the U.S. to officially enter the war. Of course, all of this is secondary to the enthralling melodramatic romance viewers got shoved down their collective throat.



    8. Crossover (2006)
    In general, basketball movies have been a notch below those featuring other sports. Sure, there’s Hoosiers and Hoop Dreams but most have been not-so-good. Then there’s Crossover. Let’s start with a simple synopsis: In the world of underground basketball…seriously…so let’s stop. Imagine an And 1 mixtape re-imagined as a gritty urban crime drama…with Wayne Brady as your bad guy. See? It doesn’t sound like a good idea to you, either.



    7. Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector (2006)
    Through unbelievable popularity achieved on The Blue Collar Comedy Tour, Larry the Cable Guy got his very own movie. It was basically him taking his already unfunny act and wrapping around an unfunny premise to produce a painfully unfunny movie. I should’ve known better, even Jeff Foxworthy said he wouldn’t watch it, at the time. Now dat right dere is funny, I don’t care who ya are.



    6. 10,000 BC (2008)
    The idea is simple and should produce at least an okay movie: a young man tries to rescue his tribe and secure its future. Instead of okay, we got every sword-and-sandal and/or ancient history epic of the decade rolled into one epic steaming pile of crap. Imagine if Gladiator, Troy, 300 and Apocalypto were dumped into a strainer and all the good parts dripped out leaving us with, well, this.



    5. The Honeymooners (2005)
    First off, The Honeymooners is one of the most beloved and historic sitcoms of all time. More importantly, to me at least, its my favorite sitcom of all time. I was already skeptical when I found out the cast was being updated, i.e. made all black. Now, I’m a black man so I was willing to give it a shot. This is one of the things I will forever regret.



    4. Miss March (2009)
    There is a fine art to making gross-out comedies about getting laid. Just in the last few years we got The 40 Year Old Virgin, Superbad, Knocked Up, Zack and Miri Make a Porno, Clerks II, etc. This movie gives us plenty of the gross but totally neglects the comedy. It also gives us equal helpings of racism and misogyny, which its totally clueless about.



    3. Rollerball (2002)
    The 1975 original was a futuristic, dystopian set-piece that used our ever-growing thirst for competitive violence as a springboard for social commentary. It was both thrilling and thought provoking. The remake is futuristic and violent. Do you see what’s missing? Don’t get me wrong, vile can be good. This isn’t good vile.



    2. The Real Cancun (2003)
    I will admit, during the first few seasons of MTV’s The Real World, I was a big fan. So when I heard that they actually made a full-length movie with a whole new cast over a spring break in Cancun I was pretty pumped. Free from the restrictions of censors seeking to keep things network friendly and time constraints of episodic television, this could signal a new wave in filmmaking. Sadly, what I got was one of the most inane and boring movies ever unleashed on humanity.



    1. Who’s Your Caddy? (2007)
    Given the cast, I wasn’t expecting the next Citizen Kane but I was expecting at least decent. Instead, this is a ugly movie that takes the old popular 1980s theme of dropping “unrefined” black people into the ritzy world of rich white people. All blacks act buffoonish because its “cool” and all whites walk around constantly appalled because they’re all uptight. Neither of them do anything that’s actually funny. On top of that, it’s pretty poorly made. There is nothing right about this movie.

    Dishonorable Mention: Alone in the Dark, Beverly Hills Chihuahua, Big Momma’s House (both of them), Bratz: The Movie, Catwoman, Code Name: The Cleaner, Dirty Love, Double Take, Elektra, Hulk, I Spy, Queen of the Damned,


    And then there were these…

    Many would argue that this next batch of movies should be on “The Worst” list. I wouldn’t deny it. For my personal tastes, however, those movies were painful to sit through. I would not have been disappointed if, during the viewing of any of them, a large and sharp dagger came flying out of the screen and went right through my eye, pointy end first. That way, I’d be forced to stop watching. Being the cinematic soldier I am, I waited out those enemies.

    On the other hand, these movies were joyously bizarre experiences. No matter what genre the filmmakers were going for, they’re all hilariously bad and thus comedies to me. Some were purposely bad, others were not. For the record, I prefer the latter. Accidental ineptitude is that much funnier. Here are…

    The 10 Best/Worst So Bad They’re Awesome Movies of the Decade


    10. Obsessed (2009)
    This new-milennium update of Fatal Attraction is simply one over-the-top scene after another of Ali Larter in crazed-jealous-obsessed mode culminating in a knockdown, drag-out cat-fight finale between her and Beyonce. Give the two ladies and Idris Elba tons of credit, they all played their roles to the silly hilt. I’m campaigning to have it re-titled “Oh No, She Didn’t!”



    9. Ultraviolet (2006)
    This one takes Milla Jovovich, ya know, the chick from the Resident Evil movies gives her a virus that gives her superpowers and makes her protect a little boy who might…well, I’ll just stop there because its pretty incoherent after that. At times, it comes off like a Matrix retread, other times like an “almost live-action” Aeon Flux (by the way, the actual live-action version of that sucked, as well). Action scenes came fast and furious but are delightfully poor in choreography. And there are those unexplained color-scheme changes.



    8. D. E. B. S. (2005)
    Okay, the tagline on this is officially “They’re crime-fighting hotties with killer bodies.” Can’t fool me, I know what this is going in. I expect a team of cute, young, female secret agents including Meagan Good and Devon Aoki. Got it. I expect earth-shatteringly bad dialogue filled with sexual innuendo. Got it. I expect a series of cat-fights featuring our heroes. Got that, too. Hmm…I just spotted that PG-13 on the back of the DVD cover so I’m not expecting any nakedness. Darn it, but they do have on those fetishistic school-girl outfits. A few minutes in and everything’s going according to plan and then…BLAM…curveball. I knew this was trying to cash in on the success of the Charlie’s Angels franchise. What I didn’t know was this is the lesbian version. Yes!



    7. Freddy Vs. Jason (2003)
    Let’s take two icons of the slasher flick genre, neither of which seemed to be relevant at the time, and put them in a movie together. In fact, the two franchises featuring these giants had long since become mere shadows of what they once were having descended into a string of progressively worse hack-flicks that I still loved. Could one film possibly be big enough to contain all the cheesy, bloody nuttiness of both characters? Why yes, it can.



    6. I Know Who Killed Me (2007)
    As per the rules for teen starlets wanting to be seen as adults, Lindsay Lohan takes a role as a stripper (calm down, she doesn’t get nekkie). But that’s only one of her roles. In the other she’s in college, is an excellent writer, budding concert pianist and well on her way to being valedictorian…hahahaha…seriously. The studious Lindsay gets abducted and hacked up but not killed. When she’s found, she insists she’s not studious Lindsay but stripper Lindsay. However, nobody believes her…oh well, you just have to see for yourself how bad and very strange this is.



    5. Basic Instinct 2 (2006)
    Sharon Stone tries to recapture her past glory by reprising her role as Catherine Tramell in the sequel to Basic Instinct. When your movie starts with Ms. Stone climbing on top of her beau (of the moment) while he’s driving 100mph and reaching orgasm just as the vehicle spectacularly crashes and she walks away satisfied, you know you’re in for a wild, ridiculous ride. Boy, does this ever deliver. She hams it up marvelously, getting all cougar-ish with it, showing us the bad boob job and growling all the way through.



    4. Crank: High Voltage (2009)
    Jason Statham is back as Chev Chelios, whom we all thought died at the end of Crank. Well, they dispel that notion during the opening scene and its strictly balls-to-the-wall after that. This one goes even further over the top than the original. Every scene is something ridiculously unbelievable. It makes constant mayhem, misogyny, self-abuse, gunplay and even stereotypes damn funny.



    3. BloodRayne (2006)
    Fans of the video game will likely hate me for this. With just cause, they hate this movie. It ruined everything about the game. But man, its just so bad, you gotta laugh at it. Kristanna Loken, who played the female terminator in Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines proves it was a good thing she didn’t actually have to speak too often in that one. Michelle Rodriguez tries real hard, Michael Madsen phones it in and Meat Loaf is, well, Meat Loaf. But the best part of it all, is Ben Kingsley. He constantly has a look on his face that says “What the hell am I doing in this?”



    2. Repo: The Genetic Opera (2008)
    If you’re at all into cheesy, bloody movies then just the premise will have you hooked. In the future, private companies supply organs and other parts for transplants, implants and just about anything else. They also charge for them and will hunt you down and repossess said parts by forcefully cutting them out of your body if you’re late with a payment. Man, does this sound good. Then you see that not only is gangster-movie icon Paul Sorvino in the cast but so is Paris Hilton. A little strange, but okay. Then you find out, it’s a musical. Wow. And it didn’t disappoint. It’s truly one of the strangest viewing experiences I’ve ever had.



    1. Snakes on a Plane (2006)
    A drug-dealer unleashes a batch of snakes on a passenger plane so that they can kill a potential witness. I admit, there are other, easier ways of doing this but none of them would make as cool a movie. Bad, ham-fisted dialogue, crappy cgi snakes, intentional and unintentional humor rule the day. Oh, I almost forgot to mention that the mf’ing man is the cop assigned to protect our hero, none other than mf’ing Samuel mf’ing L. mf'ing Jackson and he’s had enough of these mf’ing snakes on this mf’ing plane!
    Last edited by dell71; 01-15-2010, 09:54 AM.

    Comment

    • dell71
      Enter Sandman
      • Mar 2009
      • 23919

      #3
      OKAY, ENOUGH GARBAGE!!!

      Agreed. Let’s move on to what will make us fondly remember the oughts; the treats that filled our evenings and kept us talking the next day.

      Before we get to the absolute cream of the crop, I had to make a special section for animated movies. The problem is I couldn’t quite squeeze any of them onto my very best list. However, that doesn’t mean there weren’t any good ones. Quite to the contrary, there were plenty. These are…


      Dell’s Top 10 Animated Features of the Decade



      10. Waltz with Bashir* (2009)
      As Isreali filmmaker interviews his fellow veterans as he tries to remember what happened during the 1982 invasion of Lebanon. It’s labeled a documentary but hardly plays like one. It’s also daring, shocking and its story is expertly told. No, its not for kids, at all.



      9. Corpse Bride (2005)
      The creative team behind The Nightmare Before Christmas brings us this tale of a young man who inadvertently marries the woman buried in the grave he’s standing over while practicing his wedding vows. It’s a delightfully disturbing journey through a gothic and macabre world full of twisted and funny songs.



      8. Dr. Seuss’ Horton Hears a Who (2008)
      One day an elephant known as Horton hears a tiny voice come from a small flower. He discovers that on that flower is where an entire world exists. Of course, Horton goes through many trials and tribulations trying to save this world. For my money, this is the best big-screen adaptation of Dr. Seuss’ work.



      7. Monster House (2006)
      The old man across the street from DJ keeps destroying the bikes of kids who ride onto his lawn. Of course, DJ believes the old man’s house to be haunted. It is so much more than that. It’s a truly intense and perfectly scary movie for kids. Most kids. Make them watch with the lights off to test their courage.



      6. Up (2009)
      After Carl loses his life-long soul-mate, he decides its time to take that trip to Paradise Falls he and his wife never quite got around to. He does it by tying a gazillion balloons to the top of his house and away, he goes. It’s a wonderfully told story that’s a harrowing adventure, bittersweet love story and comedy all rolled into one.



      5. Wall-E (2008)
      Who would’ve thought a movie with no talking animals or bathroom humor and in which the main character has a two word vocabulary and there is no real dialogue for roughly the first 30 minutes could hold the attention of kids around the world. Wall-E does so with surprising ease.



      4. The Incredibles (2004)
      Who knew a family full of superheroes could be so human? There’s was a family much like ours, with the same problems and concerns. Well, almost the same. They had superpowers and had to save the world, also. It is a brilliant coming-together story with lots of humor and tons of action.



      3. Persepolis* (2007)
      A young Iranian girl is sent to live abroad by her parents when living conditions become too dangerous under a new regime. This is an intense character study and coming-of-age tale. It uses simple, even primitive, art and the bulk of it is in black-and-white. Yet, it all works extremely well. Count this among the not for kids entries.



      2. Finding Nemo (2003)
      This one starts off on and incredibly down note as Marlin’s entire family is eaten by a shark. Actually, one of the unborn eggs of Marlin’s murdered wife survives and becomes Nemo. When Nemo goes missing, Marlin sets off on an epic adventure to find his boy. Its so good, several animated underwater movies have followed trying to recreate its magic.



      1. Shrek (2001)
      Everyone’s favorite ogre is the perfect hero for this deconstruction of the fairy-tale. Its barbs at the genre are so viciously sharp, its among my favorite spoofs of all time. I was hooked right from the beginning when the gingerbread man is about to meet his maker, so to speak. And it kept me right through to the ending that was arguably the best message for young girls in any movie this decade.


      Honorable Mention: Flushed Away, Ice Age, Kung Fu Panda, Ratatouille, Shrek 2, The Simpsons Movie, The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie, Team America: World Police



      With no further adieu, on to the stars of our show. These, in my very humble opinion, are the 25 best movies of the decade. Did I stress that this is MY opinion. Just checking.


      Dell’s Top 25 Movies of the Decade



      25. Sin City (2005)
      Some movies emphasize style over substance. Others do the opposite. Then there’s movies like this in which style is substance. It’s truly a graphic novel come to life. It’s gritty, shocking, crass and violent seemingly just for the sake of being so. But its so good at it.


      24. Maria Full of Grace* (2004)
      A pregnant Columbian teenager takes work as a drug runner to make some money for her impoverished family. This is an under-seen and underappreciated slice of reality that introduces us to a girl and her journey. Once you see it, you’ll never forget either.


      23. Gangs of New York (2002)
      Leonardo DiCaprio stars as a young buck who comes to Civil War era New York City looking for revenge. However, its Daniel Day-Lewis’ turn as the man he wants revenge against, Bill the Butcher that makes this a classic.


      22. The Wrestler (2008)
      Mickey Rourke seemingly came back from the dead to give the performance of a lifetime as over-the-hill but still holding on wrestler, Randy “The Ram”. He’s one of those guys you can’t help but feel for despite his many faults. It’s one of the most touching “guy” movies, ever.


      21. Blow (2001)
      The rise and fall of George Jung (Johnny Depp) who was largely responsible for establishing the cocaine market in the U.S. during the 1970s. What makes it so captivating and unique is even though George engages in gangster activity, he hardly fits the stereotype, as far as his personality and demeanor. He’s just a guy with a different kind of gig.


      20. Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire (2009)
      This story of a young girl trying to see her way through abuse and neglect in her life simply blew me away. Mo’Nique as our evil mom is a sheer force of nature delivering an absolute powerhouse performance that compels and repels both her daughter and us, the audience. Her nastiness aligns us with young Precious and leave us wondering what’s next when we get to the bittersweet end.


      19. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)
      Every geeks’ new favorite trilogy ended in grand style as Frodo and pals finally made it to the destination they’d been traveling toward for about 10 hours of our time when it was all said and done. Jokes about multiple endings aside, it was a fitting conclusion for characters we came to know deeply and experience many adventures alongside.


      18. Pan’s Labyrinth* (2006)
      Part war-flick, part Alice in Wonderland, part evil step-dad movie, all amazing. We got wondrous creatures, both good and evil. Then there was the human, yet no less monstrous Captain Vidal (Sergi Lopez), serving as both our military villain and dastardly step-dad. Of course, the too-cute and wide-eyed Ofelia (Ivana Baquero) makes the whole thing go.


      17. Gone Baby Gone (2007)
      Somewhere in the midst of Bennifer (the moniker he shared with then girlfriend Jennifer Lopez), Gigli (the movie the couple made together) and Pearl Harbor (see above), Ben Affleck became one of the most hated actors in Hollywood. I believe this lead to people unjustly ignoring his directorial debut, a gritty urban classic about a missing child steeped in the type of ambiguity that will keep you thinking.


      16. Sugar* (2009)
      Most baseball movies coast on the sport’s overwhelming mythology. Many go so far as to include supernatural occurrences (or nearly so). Others are uproarious comedies. This is simply about a minor-league player. Every character feels like a real person, not a movie caricature. The dog days of summer aren’t glamorized, they’re unrelenting and the pressure to perform mounts daily. It’s one of my favorite baseball movies of all time.


      15. Crash (2005)
      If its possible for a movie to win Best Picture and still be underappreciated, this movie turns the trick. Everyone loved it when it came out. Then slowly everyone came to hate it. Its been labeled pretentious, overbearing and even grating. For me, it marvelously tied together a number of strands into a cohesive masterpiece. Even if was a little heavy-handed with the message.


      14. Snatch (2000)
      Guy Ritchie’s gangster-comedy Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels became an instant classic in 1999. In 2000, he took the same formula used for that stroke of genius and improved it seemingly every way. He gives Jason Statham another role perfectly suited to his talents. The result is he shines as an actor, as opposed to his American movies in which he’s a glorified stuntman. We also get what is arguably the best performance of Brad Pitt’s career.


      13. There Will Be Blood (2007)
      Apparently, if you need a 19th century villain, Daniel Day-Lewis is your man. This time, he gives us Daniel Plainview, an oil man. It works very well on the surface, a solid if a tad slow tale of a man draining a town of all its natural resources and getting filthy rich. When viewed through the prism of America’s War in Iraq its simply stunning. And even that ending makes perfect sense.


      12. Bamboozled (2000)
      Social commentary is nothing new to director Spike Lee. What is new is that here, he does so through the guise of satire. It takes dead aim at hip hop, the malt liquor industry and the “black” sitcoms of the W.B. and UPN that were popular at the time. Ironically, it’s a Wayans brother in the lead role (Spike has occasionally clashed with the Wayans over ideology). Michael Rappaport is also outstanding. Sadly, many of Spike’s barbs are still relevant…ahem…cough…cough…Tyler Perry…ahem…cough…cough.


      11. Black Hawk Down (2001)
      Admittedly, there’s not a lot here, script-wise. Going in, we expect a war epic but not one so unexpectedly thin. It’s even been accused of being a bit racist (go back to the old George Carlin joke about how Americans feel about countries filled with “brown” people). Essentially, it’s an extended battle scene. But man, what a battle it is. It took the “you are there” feel that made Saving Private Ryan a classic and took it to new heights.


      10. Road to Perdition (2002)
      Tom Hanks stars as a gangster…wait, what? Yes, seriously. And it’s a magnificently told tale of a man on the run with his young son after his wife and other son are brutally murdered for his sins. By the way, if you think Tom Hanks as a gangster seems like a stretch, get a hold of this: Jude Law is downright scary.


      9. Kill Bill, Volume 1 (2003)
      Occasionally, I’m a movie-snob. Other times, I’m a movie degenerate. The two parts of Quentin Tarantino’s revenge saga, Kill Bill illustrate this perfectly. Volume 2 is deliberately paced, has a terrific script and gives us the last truly great performance we would ever get from David Carradine. It is a fantastic movie. Volume 1 is all about cuttin’ and killin’. I’ll take the cuttin’ and killin’, by the small edge of a very large sword.


      8. The Departed (2006)
      In 2002, Hong Kong gave us the splendid gangster thriller Infernal Affairs in which the cops and the local mafia each have a mole in the other’s camp. Add a ridiculously talented cast (do the names DiCaprio, Damon and Nicholson sound familiar?), layers of character development and Martin Scorcese and you have The Departed. The cat-and-mouse game goes even deeper than the original and the ending is just as explosive.



      7. The Dark Knight (2008)
      Christian Bale reprises his role as Batman, here. Also returning are Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman. The score is simply nerve-racking. Gotham City has never looked better. Christopher Nolan’s direction of the whole thing is nearly flawless (yes, there is a well documented editing snafu or two). However, what pushes this thing into greatness is the unbelievable performance of the late Heath Ledger as The Joker. If Jack Nicholson took the character in a decidedly darker direction than Cesar Romero did for the 60s TV show, then Ledger seemed to really have escaped from Arkham Asylum. For me, its hands down the best comic book movie ever made.


      6. Children of Men (2006)
      When mankind hasn’t reproduced in twenty years, its going to be a big deal when someone suddenly turns up pregnant. And so it is as everyone seems determined to either destroy the expecting mother and her soon to be born child or hold them as a beacon of hope in the miserable, nearly ending world they inhabit. Julianne Moore, Chiwetel Ejiofor and Michael Caine do excellent work in supporting roles. However, its Clive Owen who ducks, dodges and leads us on this harrowing and poignant adventure.


      5. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
      Sometimes your significant other pisses you off so bad you wish you could forget everything about them. Well, Clementine (Kate Winslet) takes it one step further and undergoes a procedure to actually erase all memories of her boyfriend, Joel (Jim Carrey). This sets in motion a winding, twisting affair that, without robots or intergalactic happenings might be one of the best science-fiction movies of all time.


      4. Memento (2001)
      A man who lost his wife to a brutal rape and murder, also suffers from short-term memory loss. Each morning he wakes up, he has no recollection of the day before. To keep him focused on the task of finding and taking revenge on his wife’s killer and to remind himself of what he’s accomplished and learned so far, he leaves himself notes and clues in various forms. What follows is a revenge flick unlike any you’ve ever seen.


      3. City of God* (2002)
      City of God is a chronicling of the growth of organized crime and the drug trade in the slums of Rio de Janeiro. Often called the South American Boyz N the Hood, it is that and more. It’s expertly shot, directed and gives us the scary Li’l Ze, the local drug kingpin. Who knew there were slums in Rio? And who would’ve thought the best inner-city gangsta-flick of the decade would come from there? Indeed, it did.


      2. Requiem for a Dream (2000)
      We follow around three friends who have some pretty severe drug habits. Later, the mom of our main junkie starts popping all sorts of pills. That mom, by the way, was Ellen Burstyn who was so so robbed of an Oscar for this role. It’s a bizarre trek through the experiences of these individuals. There’s plenty of satire, dark comedy, darker drama and when it’s all said and done it’s really a horror flick because it scares the crap out of you. Forget “this is your brain on drugs,” Requiem is the PSA they should show kids in grade school. Any questions.


      1. Oldboy* (2003)
      I said that Memento is a revenge flick unlike any you’ve ever seen. Well, Oldboy is, as well, and somehow a far more daring one at that. Our hero, Dae-su (Min-sik Choi) is kidnapped during a drunken night and winds up spending the next 15 years locked up in a grimy hotel room with no way out and no knowledge of who put him there. One day, he’s suddenly let out. Thus begins his quest to hunt down the man responsible. Let’s just say that when you get close to the end, you’re not really sure who is actually getting revenge on whom. Then, when you get to the very end, you might be so freaked out you can’t stop thinking about what you just saw for weeks. And that, my friends, is why its my #1 movie of the decade.


      Honorable Mention: Any movie on any of my top 10 lists for any year that didn’t make it.
      Last edited by dell71; 01-15-2010, 09:49 AM.

      Comment

      • Leftwich
        Bring on the Season

        • Oct 2008
        • 13700

        #4
        You must have really liked Gladiator to put it on your list twice.

        Originally posted by Tailback U
        It won't say shit, because dying is for pussies.

        Comment

        • Sharkweather
          Senior Member
          • Jul 2009
          • 8906

          #5
          I am 5 for 25 on your top 25 of the decade.

          Time to change this.

          Comment

          • dell71
            Enter Sandman
            • Mar 2009
            • 23919

            #6
            Originally posted by Leftwich
            You must have really liked Gladiator to put it on your list twice.
            Fixed. Thanx.

            Comment

            • Buzzman
              Senior Member
              • Oct 2008
              • 6659

              #7
              Thank you Dell. Best read on these forums. Gotta start adding movies to my list.

              Comment

              • Maynard
                stupid ass titles
                • Feb 2009
                • 17876

                #8
                wow...district 9 in your so far top 10 of 09?

                i could get into it. I watched up until the point where they were handing out eviction notices in the begining. That shitty ass accent of the south africans also annoyed me.

                Maybe i should have given this more time?

                Comment

                • Fox1994
                  Posts too much
                  • Dec 2008
                  • 5327

                  #9
                  Wow. I'm glad you did this. I've read through it. I'm gonna let it "swirl around my head" and then I'll come back and leave more comments.

                  Comment

                  • dell71
                    Enter Sandman
                    • Mar 2009
                    • 23919

                    #10
                    Originally posted by Maynard
                    wow...district 9 in your so far top 10 of 09?

                    i could get into it. I watched up until the point where they were handing out eviction notices in the begining. That shitty ass accent of the south africans also annoyed me.

                    Maybe i should have given this more time?
                    Barely in the top 10. I enjoyed it but since I'll probably watch in the neighborhood of 40 more movies from '09, I'm almost positive it won't stay there.

                    Comment

                    • Fox1994
                      Posts too much
                      • Dec 2008
                      • 5327

                      #11
                      I can't remember how much time has passed. There are several movies that came out from 05 to 07 that I thought were more recent.

                      I loved both Batman movies. Hate both Transformer movies. Gladiator was great. What the fuck happened to X-Men? The director went to fucking Superman Returns and - while that movie was pretty good - X-Men 3 suffered for it.

                      I need to watch Children of Men again. It fucked with me the first time I saw it. I was like "That's it?" But, then, I loved the ending to No Country.

                      There's a lot of great movies that a lot of people have seen that I haven't. The reasoning is either and/or I was too young when they came out or I wasn't/aren't interested... For instance, I know how Million Dollar Baby and Precious end thanks to Wikipedia. I can't watch a movie like that in good conscience.

                      Haven't seen Departed. I need to. Am I the only person that thinks Leo DiCaprio, Matt Damon, and Mark Wahlberg have a passing resemblance?

                      I really want to see City of Men and City of God now. And Memento and Requiem for a Dream. I'm sure there's tons of other stuff up there I want to see.

                      I was very impressed with Horton Hears a Who and The Corpse Bride. I forgot about Monster House, but that was a good one. Saw it for my little brother's birthday when it came out.

                      I wasn't impressed with The Passion. That is partly because I had a predisposition against that racist asshole who directed it. Haha. Anyway, my mom made me watch it before she'd let me watch the Godfather trilogy. Worth it.

                      I can't think of anything, but you're great for doing this and stuff like it. Your thread is awesome. Stay up, bro. TTYL.

                      Comment

                      • LiquidLarry2GhostWF
                        Highwayman
                        • Feb 2009
                        • 15429

                        #12
                        Good stuff, Dell.

                        Major props for mentioning Freddy v. Jason and Snakes on a Plane...so bad, yet soooo good.

                        Couldn't really argue with any of the films in your Top 25.

                        Comment

                        • Kuzzy Powers
                          Beautiful Like Moses
                          • Oct 2008
                          • 12542

                          #13
                          Dell I usually agree with you for the most part, but im going to completely disagree with Children of Men. I thought it was terribly bad.

                          Comment

                          • Coked Up Elmo
                            omle pu dekoc
                            • Jul 2009
                            • 1259

                            #14
                            fuck dell all these movies i consider to be must see before you die, so many good underrated movies you recognized, gone baby gone, city of god, memento, children of men. alll great fucking movies that not that many people know about
                            sigpic
                            "did you say cockintheass?"

                            Comment

                            • stevsta
                              Que?
                              • Oct 2008
                              • 4670

                              #15
                              good read as always dell
                              RIP

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