Palooza Presents "The 99 Films of 2011"

[Palooza]

Why the fuck do you people start these lists at 99 or 100 ??

What do you mean... you people?

I'm sorry you like shitty movies. I'll continue to update my list of however many movies I want. I'll be adding 10 movies a day. You don't like it well then you can geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet oooouuuuuuttttttt!

[KINGOFOOTBALL]

No.

 

Fuck you then.

What do you mean... you people?

Relax some of my best friends are VSNers.

I'm sorry you like shitty movies. I'll continue to update my list of however many movies I want. I'll be adding 10 movies a day. You don't like it well then you can geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet oooouuuuuuttttttt!

Only thing I like more is shitty reviews of shitty movies. But be forewarned if this shit isnt done by May 16th Ill lobby for your Studio Ban....book it.

[Palooza]

I can't be banned from the studio, I run this town.

[CrimsonGhost56]

at least put spoiler tags on the movies worth watching. top 20 or whatever

[Palooza]

99 Films of 2011

79. A Good Old Fashioned Orgy
Jason Sudeikis, Tyler Labine, Leslie Bibb, Lake Bell, Martin Starr, Michelle Borth, Nick Kroll, Angela Sarafyan, Lindsey Sloan, Will Forte, Lucy Punch

Director -
Alex Gregory, Peter Huyck
Writer(s) -
Alex Gregory, Peter Huyck
Rotten Tomatoes Score - 33%
Metacritic Score - 44/100
Viewed - HQ torrent
Another dud from Sudeikis, but at least this one was full of raunch and sex jokes, which saved it from being as horrible as Hall Pass. Lake Bell is super fucking hot, but only when she doesn't look like a dude. If you look at her for too long, you realize how manly she is. I'd do it though. About halfway through the movie I was convinced that Sudeikis would bail on the orgy in light of his new love, thankfully that never happened. My expectations were terribly low for this and I was only a bit surprised. I liked it a bit, but that doesn't mean it was any good. It sucked for the most part. The orgy actually winds up being gross when you think about it since you're sharing the holiest of holies with your best guy friends. I'm not black, so that kind of shit doesn't appeal to me. I would like to have sex with every girl involved in this movie, though. Even the one who looks like a Russian sex slave. In addition to all of this, these guys are just selfish, rich kids who are mad that one of their dad's is getting rid of their party spot. It disgusts me that they portray that as a real problem. Either way, it was just a shitty comedy. I really would have liked to see some titties, too. All of their titties. Lucy Punch sucks again, btw.
Spoiler Alert - They have an orgy.
Grade - F

[Palooza]

at least put spoiler tags on the movies worth watching. top 20 or whatever

If a movie is worth seeing, I'm not going to ruin it. Shitty movies deserve to leave it all on the table.

[Palooza]

99 Films of 2011

78. Red State
John Goodman, Michael Parks, Melissa Leo, Stephen Root, Kevin Pollack, Michael Angarano, Nicholas Braun, Ronnie Connell, Kevin Alejandro

Director -
Kevin Smith
Writer(s) -
Kevin Smith
Rotten Tomatoes Score - 58%
Metacritic Score - 50/100
Viewed - netflix
When I first heard about this movie, I thought it was a cool, new, unconventional take on the horror genre. Too bad it wasn't new or refreshing, it was just a poor blend of different genres. Kevin Smith's message is overwhelming, too forced and poorly executed. Smith tries so hard to make the audience upset and uncomfortable that he doesn't realize he's annoying them. I must say, the character of Abin Cooper is absolutely sinister and without any regard, but some of his actions make no sense. The three kids in the movie receive some of the worst, most undeserving deaths of the movie, but I didn't care about them anyway. There was nobody to relate to or get involved in. Characters were introduced and killed. The movie is also pretty sloppy in terms of balance. It goes from setting up a teen sex horror film, to becoming a religious fundamentalist thriller into a war-like movie with two sides shooting at one another. It's also even worse on multiple viewings.
Spoiler Alert - During the singing prayers of Abin in prison, Kevin Smith's voice can be heard saying the film's last line - "Shut the fuck up!"
Grade - F

[Houston]

Wait, these are supposed to be real spoilers?

I thought it was just pointing out the obvious cliches that everyone should see coming a mile away.

[Palooza]

Wait, these are supposed to be real spoilers?

I thought it was just pointing out the obvious cliches that everyone should see coming a mile away.

They mostly are, but I pointed out a few specifics (Scream 4, Red State, The Mechanic, etc)

[Palooza]

Front page updated with links and a list.

[Palooza]

99 Films of 2011

77. Sucker Punch
Emily Browning, Jena Malone, Abbie Cornish, Vanessa Hudgens, Jamie Chung, Carla Gugino, Oscar Issac, Jon Hamm, Scott Glenn

Director -
Zack Snyder
Writer(s) -
Zack Snyder, Steve Shibuya
Rotten Tomatoes Score - 23%
Metacritic Score - 33/100
Viewed - HBO
Zack Snyder is a pretty cool director, but he is an awful storyteller. His previous efforts had awesome source material (Watchmen, Dawn of the Dead, 300) and this being his own creation, it's no wonder it looks and sounds awesome as hell, but everything else sucks. It's done in classic Snyder style and there are plenty of hot women that look good and awesome doing the crazy shit he has them do, but besides that what is the point for this movie? The ending is god awful, they try to throw a Shyamalan twist, but it was dumb as rocks (oh right, that's a Shyamalan twist). This movie could have been so awesome, but hot girls don't know how to act and the story was off the wall bonkers which made it stupid. Good thing for all you Superman fans, Snyder is going to make a cool looking movie, but who knows if it'll be good or not. STAY TUNED.
Spoiler Alert - It was all a dream.. someone else's dream. Or was it? Who cares.
Grade - F

[Palooza]

99 Films of 2011

76. Hanna
Saoirse Ronan, Eric Bana, Cate Blanchett, Vicky Krieps

Director -
Joe Wright
Writer(s) -
Seth Lochhead and David Farr
Rotten Tomatoes Score - 71%
Metacritic Score - 65/100
Viewed - Redbox
Even though she creeped me the fuck out, Hanna was a bit of a badass. To me, this movie had a ton of potential and it just kind of fell on its face. It could have been so much more than it was with such a cool premise, good actors and a competent director. It also had an odd fish out of water element at a certain point that made it seem as though the filmmakers were unsure what to do with the movie for the rest of the way. She spent her life as a recluse and has no idea of the modern world, what the fuck is she going to do in it? There's no way she should have been able to successfully complete her mission. She has no resources besides her survivalist training; we're in the real world now, but she'll get her revenge anyway.
Spoiler Alert - Hanna wins.
Grade - F

[Palooza]

99 Films of 2011

75. The Adjustment Bureau
Matt Damon, Emily Blunt, Anthony Mackie, Michael Kelly, John Slattery, Terrence Stamp

Director -
George Nolfi
Writer(s) -
George Nolfi
Rotten Tomatoes Score - 72%
Metacritic Score - 60/100
Viewed - decent torrent
Plot holes and a poor sense of direction is what did this movie in. Matt Damon is as charismatic as ever and Emily Blunt is fucking adorable, but this movie was confused. A poor mix of sci-fi and romance left a bad taste in my mouth. The concept was too clever for its own good, George Nolfi was not the right guy to adapt Philip K. Dick. Thankfully for Damon, he can make fun of his boy Ben Affleck still, because this wasn't as bad as Paycheck, but it's pretty close.
Spoiler Alert - The guy gets the girl.
Grade - F

[KINGOFOOTBALL]

My synopsis for Sucker Punch was "How can a movie where every female has pigtails fake eye lashes and fishnets be so boring and incoherent?"
Its unfathomable how bad that movie is in relation to how much eye candy there was.

BTW the lead chick was in another movie where old men lick here while she pretends to sleep. Thought id mention that.

I have Hanna sitting at home on Blu Ray.

Red State I got about half way through when sex became a better option. Never bothered to finish it. The preachers monologue was impressive and the characters easy to dislike....but I hated all of them so who cares who dies.

[Palooza]

My synopsis for Sucker Punch was "How can a movie where every female has pigtails fake eye lashes and fishnets be so boring and incoherent?"
Its unfathomable how bad that movie is in relation to how much eye candy there was.

BTW the lead chick was in another movie where old men lick here while she pretends to sleep. Thought id mention that.

I have Hanna sitting at home on Blu Ray.

Red State I got about half way through when sex became a better option. Never bothered to finish it. The preachers monologue was impressive and the characters easy to dislike....but I hated all of them so who cares who dies.

Look at that, after a few bumps, we're starting to agree on things.