Palooza's Top 125 Films of 2012

[Youk]

I'm about to get my hippy on with The Promised Land. (after Killing Them Softly)

[Cornelius]

I'm about to get my hippy on with The Promised Land. (after Killing Them Softly)

I feel like Killing Them Softly tried too hard.

[Palooza]

77 . Safe House

Denzel Washington, Ryan Reynolds, Vera Farmiga, Brendan Gleeson, Sam Shepard, Ruben Blades, Robert Patrick, Joel Kinnamon

Director(s) - Daniel Espinosa
Writer(s) - David Guggenheim
Source Material/Connections - n/a
MPAA Rating - R
Release Date - February 10
Runtime - 1 hour, 55 minutes
RT Score - 54%
Metacritic - 52/100
Views - 1
Viewed - torrent
Quote - "I'm already in your head."
Review - I don't feel like wasting my energy on this movie. It's really generic and I'm shocked Luc Besson didn't make it. Denzel does his cool over the top villain thing to perfection here, but straight man Ryan Reynolds bores the ever loving shit out of me. Not enough cool action or believable, non predictable plot twists. Generic bullshit you can watch on HBO when you have literally nothing else to do. Still not a good movie, but enjoy. I'll save my breath for the next review.
Spoiler Alert - The mole is always the one you love the most, after bonding with the bad guy, you learn to understand and trust him oh and Denzel dies because that's what Denzel does, we'll see how Safe House 2 works.
Rating - F

[Palooza]

I feel like Killing Them Softly tried too hard.

Agree to disagree.

edit - I don't think it tried too hard, I just felt like it had no shame in what it was.

More in depth discussion can be had down the line, I think some people are gunna get their panties in a bunch about the final F-rated film.

ANY GUESSES WHILE I TYPE?!

[Youk]

ANY GUESSES WHILE I TYPE?!

I still hold out hope that you came to your senses and watched Step Up 2. I'm assuming it's an F because you didn't watch the first one. You gotta know the storyline.

[Palooza]

76 . The Amazing Spider-man

Andrew Garfield, Emma Stone, Rhys Ifans, Dennis Leary, Martin Sheen, Sally Field, Irrfan Khan, Chris Zylka, Campbell Scott, Embeth Davidtz, C. Thomas Howell, Stan Lee

Director(s) - Marc Webb
Writer(s) - James Vanderbilt , Alvin Sargent, Steve Kloves
Source Material/Connections - based on the Marvel comic book of the same name by Stan Lee and Steve Ditko
MPAA Rating - PG-13
Release Date - July 3
Runtime - 2 hours, 16 minutes
RT Score - 74%
Metacritic - 66/100
Views - 1
Viewed - Theaters
Quote - "Oh no. Somebody's been a bad lizard."
Review - My major problem with this movie, besides that fact that it is almost a carbon copy of the first one made 10 years prior is that there's no substance to the movie. We've seen it before so add something to it that makes it unique, don't just switch shit around and make it seem like it;s new and different. We all know why this movie sucks and that's because of Sony. They fired Sam Raimi and the entire cast and started over again for what? Oh right, so the rights wouldn't be lost and go back to Marvel, even though that is exactly what it should be. This movie is literally the opposite of a passion project. One critic put it perfectly, "this movie feels like a waste of time because it is one." You're sitting there waiting and waiting to like this movie and then all of a sudden the credits roll. It's a gigantic waste of time, no matter what JHen tells you.

Let's get on with the recycled plot shall we? So Peter Parker, you know that sarcastic nerd who nobody notices and if they do they pick on him? Well, his parents are dead and he lives with his aunt and uncle and he's in high school. High school is tough because of attractive girls and bullies and stuff, it's easy to become an outcast, especially if you're a nerd photographer scientist. Okay, so instead of going deep into the plot you've heard a thousand times. Take the first Spiderman and instead of Mary Jane you have Gwen Stacy (Emma Stone) who, thankfully, is 1000x hotter than Kirsten Dunst, especially in mini-skirts and stockings. oooooohhh weeeeeeeeee! Okay so swap those two and then swap Norman Osbourne/Green Goblin from the original for Curt Conners/The Lizard. Seriously it's the exact same movie. Conners wants Parker to be his understudy like Osbourne and he experiments on himself to prove his theories to horrendous results. Peter gets bit by a radioactive spider, Uncle Ben dies, etc etc etc. There was seriously no need for this movie to exist and we will now start bashing Sony...

Sony, Sony, Sony. Marc Webb is a passionate filmmaker who is an up and comer and will probably make some solid movies one day. The Amazing Spider-man franchise is bringing him down. You have sucked all the passion right out of the project by rushing everything, hiring a group of incompetent writers to recreate something you are no longer proud of. I know Tobey Maguire sucks, but Andrew Garfield is like 30 years old, where do you think this is headed? Just give up the franchise and give it to Marvel where it deserves to get some justice. We didn't need a remake, you want to re-do this bullshit fine, but we didn't need yet ANOTHER origins story 10 years after we just saw it. People will understand if you just plop a Spider-man movie on them. They know the story. Fuck you Sony.
Spoiler Alert - Spidey saves the day and gets the girl.
Rating - F

[Buzzman]

You MONSTER!!

[Palooza]

You MONSTER!!

:puft:

[Palooza]

Also, any of you Spidey fanboys are gunna be HEATED when you see the first C ranking.

[Goober]

The worst part of spiderman was the terrible cgi on the lizard.

Oh and the goofy construction workers lining up the cranes, because apparently spiderman can't sling from one skyscraper to another. That scene reminded be of the monkey scene in Indiana Jones and the KOTCS.

[Palooza]

The worst part of spiderman was the terrible cgi on the lizard.

It looked like it would be a henchman of Shredder in a poorly made Ninja Turtles movie.

[Youk]

Not shocked. Was hoping you'd post Django to troll us, then a real one later.

[Palooza]

The 50 Worst Movies of 2012 -

125. Alex Cross
124. Man on a Ledge
123. Friends with Kids
122. The Words
121. About Cherry
120. House at the End of the Street
119. Piranha 3DD
118. Resident Evil - Retribution
117. High School
116. The Babymakers
115. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
114. The Watch
113. American Reunion
112. Lola Versus
111. Chernobyl Diaries
110. The Raven
109. Hit & Run
108. The Dictator
107. Lockout
106. Taken 2
105. Deadfall
104. Ghost Rider - Spirit of Vengeance
103. Total Recall
102. The Details
101. The Trouble with the Curve
100. Brave
99. Why Stop Now?
98. Battleship
97. Savages
96. John Carter
95. Snow White and the Huntsman
94. The Awakening
93. Salmon Fishing in the Yemen
92. For a Good Time, Call...
91. Butter
90. The Campaign
89. Wanderlust
88. Cosmopolis
87. The Do-Deca-Pentathlon
86. Frankie Go Boom
85. Project X
84. Ted
83. Haywire
82. Hitchcock
81. This Must Be The Place
80. Flight
79. The Comedy
78. Promised Land
77. Safe House
76. The Amazing Spider-man

[Palooza]

I will start with the 28 mediocre films of 2012 tomorrow after I get out of work.

[Goober]

Of the four movies I've seen that have been mentioned so far, I would rank them:
1) Friends with Kids
2) The Campaign
3) The Amazing Spiderman
4) Casa De Mi Padre