Dell's Good, Bad & Ugly Movie Reviews

[dell71]

O shit. Does he still talk like a baby? And is being freightened over Tyson really a bad thing?

He has the same voice, so I guess that's a yes to the first question and a no to the second. I think we should all be frightened of Mike Tyson.

[dell71]

Hannah Montana: The Movie
2009. Rated G, 102 minutes.
Director: Peter Chelsom.
Starring Miley Cyrus, Billy Ray Cyrus, Emily Osment, Lucas Till.

Plot: When Miley/Hannah's (Miley Cyrus) ego orbits out of control, dad (Billy Ray Cyrus) takes the family on a detour back to their hometown.

The Good: Fans of the show get more of what they love. That means more singing, dancing and shenanigans revolving around keeping her identity secret. Throw in a puppy love story, actually two of them, one for Miley and one for her no longer a pup dad, and you have a movie 'tweens and pre-teens everywhere will gladly murder their parents to get a copy of.

The Bad: It's exactly what you think it is: a really long episode of the TV show. Other than seeing our heroine's hometown, there's really nothing new here. To be fair, the show and everything involving Miley/Hannah is such huge success I probably wouldn't have tampered much, either. The only major wrinkle is a lame villain akin to the reporter that followed David Banner around in the old The Incredible Hulk TV series. That lone wrinkle was more than enough.

The Ugly: The blonde wig Miley sports as Hannah continues to be more effective than Clark Kent's glasses. It doesn't cover her face whatsoever, yet no one has any clue these girls are actually one and the same unless they somehow stumble onto the truth. This even goes for people who have lengthy conversations with both at close proximity. I was hoping this movie would tell us the wig has the power of mass-hypnotism or some other supernatural quality explaining this phenomena of its world, but nooooo...it's just a plain old wig.

Recommendation: If you have kids who are into the TV show, you may not have any choice but to see it. If you don't, don't.

The Opposite View: Cosmo Landesman, Sunday Times (UK)

What the Internet Says: 3.2/10 on imdb.com (9/4/09), 44% on rottentomatoes.com, 47/100 on metacritic.com

MY SCORE: 4.5/10

[dell71]

District 9
2009. Rated R, 112 minutes.
Director: Neill Blomkamp.
Starring Sharlto Copley, Vanessa Haywood, Fundiswa Mhlanga, David James.

Plot: An alien spacecraft appears over the city of Johannesburg in South Africa. The beings inside are herded into a camp known as District 9. Twenty years later, the camp has become overrun with crime, generally becoming a vicious slums to the good people of Johannesburg wish to get rid of. Therefore, the South African government is attempting to forcibly relocate its guest.

The Good: It pulls you in quickly by letting us know right away that our hero, Wickus (Copley), is in over his head and that he has no clue what he's getting himself into. That creates a sense of dread and we just know something bad is going to happen to him. The documentary style is also effectively used. It gives us hints about what happens but doesn't quite tell us. All of this is held together by some amazing visual effects. The aliens look remarkably real. However, the special fx are wisely NOT the story but aid in the telling of it. Finally, it gives us one of my favorite things in movies: an appropriately ambiguous ending.

The Bad: The use of language bothered me throughout the movie. The fact that the aliens spoke their own was not a problem. The problem is that every alien understood English and every human understood the alien language. So we have an entire movie of beings carrying on coversations with one another while speaking two different languages. Its almost forgivable, except that its clear the South Africans don't understand the Nigerians when they speak their native tongue. Speaking of the Nigerians, the case can be made that they are merely black scapegoats. If they aren't, why even have them in the movie? They could've easily, and more logically been replaced by profiteering South Africans, white and black. Instead, Nigerians are demonized in a movie set in a city only recently over apartheid, and ostensibly about dealing with refugees from a different land and culture.

The Ugly: Inter-species prostitution? Really?

Recommendation: Sci-fi fans should definitely have at it. Its fairly unique in the "first contact" genre as a million aliens suddenly descend upon our planet without the expressed purpose of taking over or eviscerating it. Others may still enjoy it as the dynamic between Wickus and the alien known as Christopher Johnson is very intriguing. The drawbacks my not even be noticed by many who are engrossed in the story. They were by me but, perhaps hypocritically but also because of how well its tale is told, they weren't a deal breaker for me.

The Opposite View: Michael Sragow, Baltimore Sun

What the Internet Says: 8.6/10 on imdb (#44 all-time as of 9/4/09), 89% on rottentomatoes.com, 81/100 on metacritic.com

MY SCORE: 8/10

[dell71]

:arrowup: You have to give her at least a 6 on that. She's hot. No pedo.

That depends on how old you are...she's only 16.

[young2rice]

As for the speech/language thing in District 9 I just assumed it was because they had been their for such an extended period of time, and how we were forcing ourselves upon them to care for their well-being, healing them, then creating the initial camps that turned from their haven into their prisons, but just that they were their for so long communicating that people just learned the language. Plus I also assumed anybody that would work for the company that "deals with the aliens" would best be fluent in the language.

[Fox1994]

^Still, if the South Africans and Nigerians can't understand each other... Anyway, if the Nigerians are made-out to be black scapegoats, I think I'll pass. I was never really interested in the movie... that didn't help. Moving right along, good reviews, as usual.

[dell71]

As for the speech/language thing in District 9 I just assumed it was because they had been their for such an extended period of time, and how we were forcing ourselves upon them to care for their well-being, healing them, then creating the initial camps that turned from their haven into their prisons, but just that they were their for so long communicating that people just learned the language. Plus I also assumed anybody that would work for the company that "deals with the aliens" would best be fluent in the language.

Whether the aliens were talking to military personnel, gov't personnel or civilians (the Nigerians) everyone understood every word. There was never a misunderstanding between them and anyone else. It just doesn't make sense to me.

Think about it this way: How many years has the U.S. kept Haitian refugees at Guantanamo Bay? Do you think everyone who works there can fluently speak Haitian? Or can they all understand every word of it with not misunderstandings? Can all of the Haitians understand every single word spoken to them in English? I seriously doubt it.

When speaking to someone who speaks a different language than you, you generally pick one to find as much common ground as possible and figure out what each other is saying. You don't just keep speaking your own as the other person does the same and carry on an easy conversation.

[dell71]

^Still, if the South Africans and Nigerians can't understand each other... Anyway, if the Nigerians are made-out to be black scapegoats, I think I'll pass. I was never really interested in the movie... that didn't help. Moving right along, good reviews, as usual.

Scapegoats may have been too strong a word but they're definitely all unsavory characters. That said, I completely understand.

[stevsta]

I thought D9 was a terrible movie. I would have been disappointed with it had it been a SyFy original movie. Even for a huge fan of SciFi movies, there were way too many holes and stupid shit to deal with.

And it's not the first movie to take this angle......

Enemy Mine >>>> District 9

with the budget this movie got it is a great mainstream movie

[dell71]

Steppin: The Movie
2009. Rated R, 90 minutes.
Director: Michael Taliferro.
Starring Chrystee Pharris, Wesley Jonathan, Chico Benymon, Monica Allgeier.

Plot: Aspiring singer Jennifer (Pharris), who's also in college, needs a way to pay the producer of her demo tape so she sets out to win the upcoming step competition at her school.

The Good: A few of its attempts at humor actually work. So at least there's the occasional chuckle. The only other interesting factor is the cast. It's a who's who of former black sitcom actors, including a large chunk of the "Family Matters" crew, but not Urkel himself. Throw in a small role for ex-Onyx frontman turned actor, Sticky Fingaz and cameos for Anthony Anderson and Mo'Nique and we have a strangely familiar cast for such a low budget affair.

The Bad: First, it mashes together the plots from How She Move and Stomp the Yard, neither of which had a pioneering storyline to begin with. Second, it blatantly rips off nearly every movie ever made about black college life, Spike Lee's School Daze being its most frequent target. However, that could've all been forgiven if the goods were delivered on the activity in the title. Sadly, they were not. There is curiously little "steppin" and almost all of it is crammed into the last 15 or 20 minutes. Save for a hilarious routine by Faizon Love and a troupe of rotund steppers, its all boring, lacking the energy, athleticism and creativity that have given the dance flicks of the last few years sizable followings.

The Ugly: What's pumped into the bottom of the frat house.

Recommendation: If you're into dance movies and you somehow spot this on the shelf at your local rental establishment, curiosity may get the better of you and before you know it, you'll be wondering why you came home with this particular movie. Don't let it. You must fight the evil within you. If you do not, the terrorists win.

The Opposite View: I found only one review of this movie and it wasn't much different from mine.

What the Internet Says: 2.9/10 on imdb.com (9/6/09), N/A on rottentomatoes.com, N/A on metacritic.com

MY SCORE: 2/10

[Buzzman]

Im sorry you had to watch that. I cant stand dance movies. The 1st Step Up was the closest a dance movie will get to me liking it.

[PNovak]

How have you not seen Inglorious Basterds yet? One of the best movies I have seen in the last 2 years.

[RockSteady]

That just looks plain bad. I see it's got Eddie from Family Matters in it lol.

[dell71]

Im sorry you had to watch that. I cant stand dance movies. The 1st Step Up was the closest a dance movie will get to me liking it.

My wife loves dance movies & even she didn't like this one.

How have you not seen Inglorious Basterds yet? One of the best movies I have seen in the last 2 years.

Just haven't gotten to it, yet. I'll see it soon enough.

That just looks plain bad. I see it's got Eddie from Family Matters in it lol.

And Laura. And Mr. Winslow. And Mr. Banks from Fresh Prince of Bel Air. And the dude from Half & Half. I could go on.

[Pitty]

Whether the aliens were talking to military personnel, gov't personnel or civilians (the Nigerians) everyone understood every word. There was never a misunderstanding between them and anyone else. It just doesn't make sense to me.

Think about it this way: How many years has the U.S. kept Haitian refugees at Guantanamo Bay? Do you think everyone who works there can fluently speak Haitian? Or can they all understand every word of it with not misunderstandings? Can all of the Haitians understand every single word spoken to them in English? I seriously doubt it.

When speaking to someone who speaks a different language than you, you generally pick one to find as much common ground as possible and figure out what each other is saying. You don't just keep speaking your own as the other person does the same and carry on an easy conversation.

The movie's about racism. I took it as they took the time to learn the Alien language because they were hoping to gain some insight on their technology and it kind of became a Spanish type deal with them living in such close proximity. As for the Nigerians. Color racism was notorious in that 20 year period in South Africa.

Basically Blomkamp was saying, "Yeah they're racist/speciest against the aliens, but they don't like the blacks too much either."