Dell's Good, Bad & Ugly Movie Reviews

[Epidemik]

What would you say of Beyonce's acting??

[dell71]

What would you say of Beyonce's acting??

Not as bad as people say. I actually thought she was pretty good in Cadillac Records. Until now, I hadn't really thought she was terrible in anything. Here, she was terrible and overacted quite a bit but that was a perfect fit considering everything else that was going on.

I'd have to disagree. I went to see it as a time filler when it came out and laughed my ass off. It'd been a long time since I laughed hard at a movie and this one did it. It was the spoof movie that Leslie Neilsen has been trying to do and failing at since Naked Gun.

Imho, it tried too hard in spots & kept telling us its a spoof. Airplane!, Blazing Saddles or even The Naked Gun never did this. They just were. Then again, that's what makes comedy so hard to score. It's way more subjective than any other genre.

[Maynard]

Yeah, I didn't understand the thought processes of the people in Turistas. Lets wander through a jungle to get to a bar, get drugged, follow one of the guys who drugged you through another jungle, some caves, climb a mountain (this seriously took about half the movie), get to an abandoned house, stay there even though a person tells you to run away as fast as you can...UGH!

thats funny. This one little paragraph sums up the utter stupidity of this movie. I kept watching because the chicks looked pretty hot

[dell71]

Speaking of stupidity...


Dance Flick
2009. Rated PG-13, 83 minutes.
Director: Damien Dante Wayans.
Starring Shoshana Bush, Damon Wayans Jr., Essence Atkins, Affion Crockett.

Plot: The people who brought you Scary Movie, Date Movie, etc. make fun of dance movies, most notably Save the Last Dance.

The Good: Its a movie in which every instant is supposed to be a joke. There is never a serious moment. Therefore, the filmmakers simply throw everything at the screen and some of it sticks. When it does, it causes you to laugh out loud. Of course, it works better the more familiar you are with the source material.

The Bad: Like everything else in this line of so-called spoofs, it almost completely dispenses with the notion of creativity. Instead of using the plethora of already laughable dance movies for inspiration it just reenacts one scene after another from some other dance flick (bad pun intended), adds something gross or otherwise outlandish and hopes its funny. All spoofs work better when you're familiar with the source material. The better ones are self-sufficient narratives that create a world of their own. For instance, Austin Powers is based on James Bond and other movie super-agents that came before him but he is at once a composite of them and a unique individual. The same goes for the killer or Sydney in Scream or anyone in Blazing Saddles, Airplane! or even the Wayans family's own brilliant I'm Gonna Git You Sucka. Here, every character is simply whoever they were based on but in a dumber movie. So while you get a few laughs, it is at times regrettable and mostly forgettable.

The Ugly: Ms. Cameltoe beat-boxing. Yup, exactly how you think.

Recommendation: You know if you want to see this already. I was just unlucky enough to be with a group of folks who did.

The Opposite View: Eric Sloss, Movie Jungle

What the Internet Says: 3.2/10 on imdb.com (11/9/09), 18% on rottentomatoes.com, 40/100 on metacritic.com

MY SCORE: 2.5/10

[Palooza]

I'm sorry you had to watch Dance Flick, Dell.

[dell71]

I'm sorry you had to watch Dance Flick, Dell.

me too

[dell71]

Somethin' a lil better...and a lot older...


20,000 Leagues Under the Sea
1954. Not Rated, 170 minutes.
Director: Richard Fleischer.
Starring Kirk Douglas, James Mason, Paul Lukas, Peter Lorre.
Prof. Arronax (Lukas), Ned (Douglas) and Conseil (Lorre) sail around the world in the world's first submarine, thought by the rest of civilization to be a sea monster, as guests/prisoners of Cpt. Nemo (Mason). Based on the classic Jules Verne novel. Fans of the book will like that its pretty faithful to the source material. That's a major plus as it doesn't try to fix what isn't broken. It just tells the story pretty much the way it was intended to be told. It's also an early 1950s version of a big budget special fx flick. In that regard, its not bad as the fx are excellent for their era and haven't aged nearly as much as you would think going in. That said, the backdrops have. It is so obviously shot in a studio it can be hard to buy into the illusion these people are really sailing around the globe. Admittedy, that's a strange thing to say when this movie won the Oscar that year for Best Art Decoration & Set Decoration. Still, the solidly adapted screenplay and excellent acting keep us invested enough for it not to be a deal-breaker. Kirk Douglas is front and center among the actors, embodying all that is both good and bad about the movie. His actual performance is excellent the way its written. It makes the movie tick. However, the way its written is problematic. If there is one major drawback it's the same one that haunts Disney to this day. Ned and many grimier moments from the novel, including the overall tone, have been sanitized for mass consumption by children. This means while Douglas' work is great when it stands alone, its lacking when compared to its literary counterpart, a much more brooding and seething brute. All of this simply means its a pretty good movie but like most, it pales in comparison to the book.
MY SCORE: 7/10
SCORE IF YOU HAVEN'T READ THE BOOK: 8/10

[Rush]

This thread is amazing. Nice job

[dell71]

Land of the Lost
2009. Rated PG-13, 102 minutes.
Director: Brad Silberling.
Starring Will Ferrell, Anna Friel, Danny McBride, Jorma Taccone.

Plot: Dr. Rick Marshall (Ferrell) finds out his time machine actually works when he and two companions wind up in a strange land of dinosaurs, lizard people and cavemen. Loosely based on the popular 1970s show.

The Good: Wisely, its played for laughs instead of trying to scare kids. Will Ferrell is perfectly goofy and often the butt of the jokes. His two sidekicks also fulfill the requirements of their roles very well. For Holly Cantrell (Friel) that means making googly eyes at the doctor and encouraging him, mostly by filling up a tank-top. For Will Stanton (McBride) it means playing know-it-all dumb guy he's played several times before. The movie gets a good deal of mileage from a battle of wits between Marshall and the T-Rex. It's funnier than it should be. Same goes for the scenes involving Matt Lauer (playing himself). Finally, of course there's lots of action with nice special fx if the jokes aren't working for you.

The Bad: Coming on the heels of the Brendan Fraser vehicle Journey to the Center of Earth it almost feels like a remake. The template for both movies is essentially the same with the backgrounds and a few details changed. Also, the movie misses out on a chance to add some menace to the mix by rendering the sleestaks impotent. Akin to zombies on the old tv show, many a kid had nightmares about them back in the day. Here, not so much.

The Ugly: How Dr. Marshall and the T-Rex become friends.

Recommendation: This is a solid fam-flick that might be a little too risque for really young ones as it earns its PG-13 stripes via lots of boob jokes (including the grabbing of them) and a sprinkling of four-letter words. Parents, you know your kids better than I and have your own ideas on raising them so judge accordingly. If you just dread watching it, rest assured its no masterpiece but it is the rare movie that's better than the trailer makes it look.

The Opposite View: Victor Oliver, Teletext

What the Internet Says: 5.4/10 on imdb.com (11/10/09), 26% on rottentomatoes.com, 32/100 on metacritic.com

MY SCORE: 6/10

[dell71]

The Big Score
1983. Rated R, 85 minutes.
Director: Fred Williamson.
Starring Fred Williamson, Richard Roundtree, John Saxon, Nancy Wilson.
Det. Hooks (Williamson) kills the local gangster while busting up a major drug deal. However, the money the suspect was seen with has disappeared and Hooks has to prove he didn't take it. As the star, Williamson exudes cool as always. As director, he was always more focused on his craft than the average blaxploitation filmmaker and it shows here. And this movie actually came out well after that era had ended, even though he is of that time. All of this means some of the elements the genre is known for are present but dialed way down while others are totally absent. Well, except for that one wonderfully overdone car explosion that would make Michael Bay proud. The result is a gritty cop drama without most of the antics and unintentional humor we've come to expect from blaxploitation. It's certainly flawed, but enjoyable nonetheless. There were two major hiccups for me. First, Richard Roundtree inexplicably disappears about halfway through the movie. Second is the casting...ahem...miscasting of legendary jazz songstress Nancy Wilson. She plays Williamson's love interest but comes across so nurturing it seems that whenever he's having a rough day he pops by mom's house to get it on. Ewww. It doesn't help that she looks a bit older than he does. Thankfully, the two don't have an actual love scene. Anyhoo, fans of 70s cop dramas should give it a look. It won't make you forget The French Connection but it's a decent watch.
MY SCORE: 6/10

[dell71]

Zombieland
2009. Rated R, 88 minutes.
Director: Ruben Fleischer.
Starring Jesse Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson, Emma Stone, Abigail Breslin.

Plot: A virus that transforms people into zombies has infected most of Earth's population. Columbus (Eisenberg) is among a handful of survivors and tries to survive and wants to make it back to his hometown in hopes of reuniting with his estranged family. Strangely enough, love intervenes.

The Good: It's downright hilarious. It perfectly spoofs zombie flicks and road movies, alike. A little commentary on society is thrown in for good measure. Woody Harrelson give his best performance in years, getting back to his roots as a comedic actor. His never-ending search for what remains of the world's supply of Twinkies is way funnier than it should be. Even better is the cameo by Bill Murray (playing himself). His time on screen is hysterical and some of his best work in a few years, as well. Story-wise, it moves along at a nice pace and includes some really well done flashbacks. There are also some very fun and funny action sequences.

The Bad: Our two females are rather bland. They're both serviceable characters but not particularly memorable. In a movie where there are only four humans, the two ladies (one of whom is a preteen) should do more than just be chased (including by our heroes). So other than just being really horny due to a dearth of women, I've no clue why Columbus is head-over-heels for Wichita (Stone), the older girl. Speaking of Columbus, I have the same problem with him as I did James in Adventureland: he's played by Jesse Eisenberg. I don't necessarily dislike him, he just reminds me so much of Michael Cera, its distracting. Finally, we needed more zombie stuff.

The Ugly: How Bill Murray's scene ends. Comedy gold.

Recommendation: My faith in the future of spoofs has been revived. It was trampled nearly to death by the unrelenting crappiness of Dance Flick. Thankfully, this one's actually funny. As far as zombie spoofs go, it's not quite as over-the-top or gory as the recent Planet Terror half of Grindhouse but its even more tongue-in-cheek and delivers more consistent laughter.

The Opposite View: Scott Foundas, Village Voice

What the Internet Says: 8.1/10 (#233 all time) on imdb.com (11/14/09), 89% on rottentomatoes.com, 73/100 on metacritic.com

MY SCORE: 9/10

[j.hen]

Watched 20,00 Leagues the other day. It reminded me a lot of Life Aquatic.

[dell71]

Watched 20,00 Leagues the other day. It reminded me a lot of Life Aquatic.

[j.hen]

Lame use of the Joker gif.

[Fox1994]

^NOOOO awesome use of the joker gif.

The Good: It's a harmless affair the kids will eat up. As usual, Murphy has no problem poking fun at himself and comes across well as a doting father who becomes a bit misguided by his success. Thomas Haden Church is sufficiently weird as Murphy's main competition at the office, eventually becoming the villain. The two play off each other nicely to get laughs. It also deserves some credit for showing Murphy as an African American single dad, even though there is a perfectly capable and not at all dysfunctional mom available (take that Tyler Perry!). Of course, an even better option would be having mom and dod still together but it took courage to do it the way they did. It goes against the stereotype and what we normally see from our judicial system (moms overwhelmingly win custody battles whether they're the best choice or not).

I might ask my mom to rent it again just for that. I didn't watch it the first time, but her, my stepdad, and my sister did...

Also: "it's as if he stops by moms to get it on" was priceless... from the blaxplotation film you were reviewing. And fuck it, I'm paraphrasing, but that was still one of the funniest things you've ever said... er typed. LOL.