Dell's Good, Bad & Ugly Movie Reviews

[JayDizzle]

The Ugly: Lt. Raine trying to speak Italian.

One of the best parts of the film. :D

You should get paid for these Dell.

[wingsfan77]

just got done watching 'Up' pretty funny movie but it was SO depressing....the dogs were absolutely hysterical though

[trojan49er]

Im with you on wishing the Basterds got more screen time, I wouldve liked to have seen more character development. There were definitely some quality characters that never get fleshed out...thats my one gripe for an otherwise awesome movie. Went to see it with the gf and we were both laughing hysterically during the opera house scene while everyone else in the theater was in utter shock... it was pretty awesome

[dave]

I own over 600 dvds (believe it or not, there's about 2-3 dozen or so of those I haven't seen, yet), if you haven't already you can click the link in my sig to see all my junk.

I'm probably around 400 dvds and blu-rays ... but like TaillbackU/Omar/BleedSCRed - I take your word for it on movies.

[dell71]

Dr. Dolittle: Million Dollar Mutts
2009. Rated PG, 90 minutes.
Director: Alex Zamm.
Starring Kyla Pratt, Teagan Moss, Jason Bryden, Norm Macdonald.
The fifth installment of what's become a prolific straight to DVD franchise (2 major theater releases and three for home video). Maya Dolittle (Pratt), daughter of Eddie Murphy's title character who's once again explained as away on some animal saving adventure, decides to go to Hollywood at the request of a Paris Hilton-esque heiress named Tiffany Monaco (Moss) to see if she can help the celebutante's poodle. Of course, she becomes enamored with the glamour and glitz, opting to stay there and live the high life instead of coming home and going to vet school, much to her mom's chagrin. It offers up the usual: wise-cracking from Lucky (Norm Macdonald), cuteness from Pratt and a very PETA-friendly story. There are a few solidly funny moments and all of it will make your grandma remark how precious it is. The kids will eat it up, you'll chuckle a few times and roll your eyes a few others, particularly at the shoddy cgi and all-around dated, cornball fx. It's not necessarily good or bad, harmless is more like it. Since I have two daughters who are huge fans of the franchise and I think I've become a bit smitten with Ms. Pratt (who's 23 in real life, so there) I'll keep watching them as long as they crank them out.
MY SCORE: 5/10


Mmmm...hm...

[Buzzman]

She may be 23 but if she looks 13, your still a perv.

[dave]

[dell71]

She may be 23 but if she looks 13, your still a perv.

not denying...just noting that I'm a legal perv.

ha!

[dell71]

El Mariachi
1992. Rated R, 81 minutes.
Director: Robert Rodriguez.
Starring Carlos Gallard, Consuelo Gomez, Jaime de Hoyos, Peter Marquardt.
A poor, traveling musician is mistaken by rival bad guys for a drug dealer who not only just escaped from prison but is very busy settling the score with them. Shootouts ensue. Director Robert Rodriguez's debut has become a cult classic of sorts. That's more a testament to his skills as a story-teller than anything else. The acting is substandard and its nonexistant budget is evident, throughout. Reportedly, the whole thing was filmed for about $7,000. Yet, the plot is imaginative as is the action. And there's plenty of action. The movie also has its tongue firmly in cheek as there are lots of little jokes thrown in that make it more of a dark comedy. This has become a trademark of the director. It's sequel, the bigger budgeted (with the aid of his then new buddy, Quentin Tarantino) Desperado is a more fully realized and glossier project with better production values and a much better cast (Antonio Banderas, Salma Hayek, Steve Buscemi, Cheech Marin and QT himself among others, not to mention the addition of Johnny Depp for the franchise's third film). However, the charm here is hard to deny as Rodriguez proves more than up to the task of captivating his audience even when handicapped by extremely limited funds.
MY SCORE: 7.5/10

[Fox1994]

^I haven't seen all of any of those, but I have seen the scene in Once Upon a Time in Mexico wherein Johnny Depp kills the chef because the pork was too good. That shit was classic. Next thing I saw he was wandering around missing his eyes... Might have to check those out.

[dell71]

Star Trek: The Motion Picture
1979. Rated PG, 136 minutes.
Director: Robert Wise.
Starring William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, DeForest Kelley, Stephen Collins.
Cpt. Kirk (Shatner), actually now an Admiral, reassumes control of the USS Enterprise in order to stop a mysterious enormous and extremely powerful cloud from destroying Earth. Honestly, Trek has never been so boring. However, to give it a few points in its favor you have to understand the circumstances under which this movie was made. Of course, common knowledge is that ST was a late 1960s television series that was far more successful in syndication than its original run. So it was know that the show had a loyal following but not if that was enough to guarantee the movie would be a hit. Two other things were working against it. First, it had been roughly a decade since the show last aired an original episode; remember "The Next Generation" and all of the other ST spinoffs hadn't happened, yet. Not only was no one sure if the public really wanted new ST material, but how do you introduce it to new fans? Second, no one was remaking old TV shows aas movies at the time. Conventional wisdom said that TV shows and stars didn't translate well to theaters. All of this equals a movie meant to bring in new fans while appeasing hardcore Trekkies. To accomplish this we get a plot that would be right at home on the TV series but feels stretched thin here and the actors who played our heroes in the show reprising their roles despite having gone up a uniform size or two. We also get lots of iconic moments, themes and lines rehashed for the big screen including dramatic grand entrances for several of the most famous characters. And way too many lingering, loving shots of the Enterprise doing nothing. All of this makes the movie move sooooo s l o w. Its 136 minute runtime feels more like 136 hours. For those new fans there's lots of special fx which look like a laser light show at best and by 2009 have aged poorly. In fact, the fx of the first two Star Wars movies, released in 1977 & 1980, respectively, have held up far better. All of this might be forgiven if it had just been more fun. Its the same trap that befell Superman Returns a few years ago. It's so reverential of its subject that strait-jackets itself into just giving praise to ST without ever becoming a good ST experience.
MY SCORE: 4.5/10



Star Trek
2009. Rated PG-13, 127 minutes.
Director: J.J. Abrams.
Starring Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Zoe Saldana, Leonard Nimoy.

Plot: A young James T. Kirk (Pine) and all your favorites from the original series party, go to school and embark on their maiden voyage aboard the Enterprise. Kinda, sorta but not really a prequel.

The Good: Everything go boom. In what appears to be a conscious effort to draw in younger fans, the action is amped up considerably in comparison to most of the Trek canon. This injects some welcome fun into a franchise often thought to be overly cerebral and somewhat inaccessible to those who aren't devoted Trekkies. Fortunately for the faithful, the story comfortably fits the final frontier with its use of time warps and angry Romulans, led by Nero (a barely recognizable Eric Bana). This generation's Kirk, Chris Pine, is nearly as cock-sure as the original but without the over the top histrionics of the iconic William Shatner. More than any other element his work as Kirk and Quinto's as Spock determine whether the movie sinks or swims simply due to the magnitude of the character's they're playing. Both do an admirable job portraying the contentious beginnings of their friendship.

The Bad: Everything go boom. Though multiplying the explosion count of most ST outings exponentially works for us normal folks, I'm sure many Trekkies will rue the day thier beloved franchise churned out a simple popcorn flick. Another change that's somewhat problematic is the character Uhura (Saldana). Despite being a relatively minor character, she became a very popular crew member and sex symbol, eclipsed in fame by only the big three (Kirk, Spock and Bones) and perhaps Scottie even though she rarely moved from her seat on deck. This movie strains to expand her role. Saldana does a fine job with what she's given but her storyline feels forced. One other actor, does a horrendous job. Anton Yelchin plays Chekov and his Russian accent is nothing short of cringe-worthy. Its so bad, ex-football player Tony Siragusa who naturally speaks with a heavy Jersey/Italian accent does a better Russian accent in Spike Lee's 25th Hour.

The Ugly: Yes! They worked in Kirk's liason with a green chick, early! So what if its of absolutely no consequence, here.

Recommendation: If you're a Trekkie, you have to see it and form your own opinion. Period. If you're not, its a fun sci-fi romp with lots of explosions, characters you happen to be somewhat familiar with yelling at one another and exchanging meaningful glares. In other words, its a solid intergalacic shoot 'em up.

The Opposite View: Adam Lippe, Examiner.com

What the Internet Says: 8.2/10 on imdb.com (#136 all time, 12/6/09), 95% on rottentomatoes.com, 83/100 on metacritic.com

MY SCORE: 7/10

[nflman2033]

uh, i should -rep you for showing a picture from The Wrath of Khan in your review of the Motion Picture :D

[nflman2033]

El Mariachi
1992. Rated R, 81 minutes.
Director: Robert Rodriguez.
Starring Carlos Gallard, Consuelo Gomez, Jaime de Hoyos, Peter Marquardt.
A poor, traveling musician is mistaken by rival bad guys for a drug dealer who not only just escaped from prison but is very busy settling the score with them. Shootouts ensue. Director Robert Rodriguez's debut has become a cult classic of sorts. That's more a testament to his skills as a story-teller than anything else. The acting is substandard and its nonexistant budget is evident, throughout. Reportedly, the whole thing was filmed for about $7,000. Yet, the plot is imaginative as is the action. And there's plenty of action. The movie also has its tongue firmly in cheek as there are lots of little jokes thrown in that make it more of a dark comedy. This has become a trademark of the director. It's sequel, the bigger budgeted (with the aid of his then new buddy, Quentin Tarantino) Desperado is a more fully realized and glossier project with better production values and a much better cast (Antonio Banderas, Salma Hayek, Steve Buscemi, Cheech Marin and QT himself among others, not to mention the addition of Johnny Depp for the franchise's third film). However, the charm here is hard to deny as Rodriguez proves more than up to the task of captivating his audience even when handicapped by extremely limited funds.
MY SCORE: 7.5/10

i thought it was a more like a 8.5 or 9/10

[dell71]

uh, i should -rep you for showing a picture from The Wrath of Khan in your review of the Motion Picture :D

fixed...i think.

[Vinsane]

Kinda rough on the Star-Trek remake, at least give it an 8! Then again my generation leans more towards "Next Generation" then the original Star Trek. So I could see where it might be a sore towards those who grew up with the Shat.