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Now that we're all back, let's take a minute to LOL at the Seattle Mariners, who at 34-50 are pretty fucking terrible.
Remember when West and Potatoes were convinced this team would be a surprise contender based on pitching and defense, and I argued that they didn't have nearly enough power to even have a winning season, much less win a pennant race?
Well, shockingly, a team that employs Casey Kotchman as its everyday first basemen, Frank Gutierrez as its best HR hitter, and has its leadoff guy leading the team in OPS, is one of the worst offenses in all of the league!
Really shocking stuff, I know.
Here's how they stack up as a team in hitting stats this year:
27th in AVG (.239)
27th in HR (55)
28th in H (670)
29th in RBI (278)
If you really want to laugh, look up Casey Kotchman's stat line. It might be the most pathetic line an everyday 1B can post in a half-season (he hit 2 HRs yesterday, which means it should be another 2 months or so before we see him hit another one):
.215, 6 HR, 28 RBI, and an OPS of .653.
In conclusion, kudos to Mariners fans for being delusional fucktards before the season. I tried to tell you guys that Kotchman was a terrible player, and that the offense was doomed to fail, but you guys refused to believe.
I don't feel bad for you at all. You deserve to suck.
Remember when West and Potatoes were convinced this team would be a surprise contender based on pitching and defense, and I argued that they didn't have nearly enough power to even have a winning season, much less win a pennant race?
Well, shockingly, a team that employs Casey Kotchman as its everyday first basemen, Frank Gutierrez as its best HR hitter, and has its leadoff guy leading the team in OPS, is one of the worst offenses in all of the league!
Really shocking stuff, I know.
Here's how they stack up as a team in hitting stats this year:
27th in AVG (.239)
27th in HR (55)
28th in H (670)
29th in RBI (278)
If you really want to laugh, look up Casey Kotchman's stat line. It might be the most pathetic line an everyday 1B can post in a half-season (he hit 2 HRs yesterday, which means it should be another 2 months or so before we see him hit another one):
.215, 6 HR, 28 RBI, and an OPS of .653.
In conclusion, kudos to Mariners fans for being delusional fucktards before the season. I tried to tell you guys that Kotchman was a terrible player, and that the offense was doomed to fail, but you guys refused to believe.
I don't feel bad for you at all. You deserve to suck.
about pegging the Rangers as my surprise team in the AL.
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