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saw this posted somewhere I think it was Fan Nation back in March, good read, but u should give a source instead of trying to take credit for writing this, unless you wrote it months ago, in that case my apologies and nice post
Btw nice article. I would have loved to have Kobe on Clippers(he wa so closed to signing with us before he resigned with the lakers). We would have had 2 titles ahah.
1984 Record: 44-38 (9th in west) 1985 Record: 42-40 (7th in west; 1st round exit) 1986 Record: 51-31 (3rd in west; swept in finals)
The Grizzlies theme this season should be : "This Season, We're Doing It For The Lulz"
I was intrigued by the premise of your article, but I stopped reading because you buried your lead with useless facts and figures about Kobe we already knew. What's worse, is you acknowledge that we already know the superstar that Kobe is, but then you go on to list everything he's ever done for no reason.
Who hasn’t heard of NBA superstar Kobe Bryant? He was drafted thirteenth overall by the Hornets in the 1996 NBA Draft, and then subsequently traded to the Lakers -- before he hit his eighteenth birthday. He has played his entire career in Los Angeles . Over his career, he has won three NBA titles along with one league MVP. He has been named to the All-Star Team eleven times, the All-NBA First Team six times, and the All-Defensive First Team six times. He has put together an amazing career so far, and still has some years left to further cement his legacy...
Did you really need to give us this information in the opening paragraph of your article? Does it have anything to do with Kobe going to Duke?
And then this part:
How different would those Duke teams have been with a guy like Bryant in the lineup? I’m sure I’m not the only person who has wondered these things... so let’s take the time to gaze at the alternate reality that is Kobe in the ACC.
Was this really about Kobe in the ACC, or Kobe not in the NBA? Because you spend more time talking about the Clippers and Lakers than any team in the ACC. Duke gets two "alternate reality" paragraphs, no other team even gets mentioned, and you go on to the NBA draft the next paragraph. So why set us up with this "alternate ACC" tease? Perhaps it should read "Kobe not in the NBA" since that's mainly what you're article says.
Don't waste your time with writing exercises, just get to the point. You are lacking a voice right now because you just come across as someone trying to boost their word count and their average sentence length. You just keep typing and typing, but not actually writing much. Try to get in and out of your points faster and develop them a little more instead of just sitting down and typing, your writing is way too verbose for anyone to get through an entire article.
LOL it's the journalism major in me. I figure instead of posting a "didn't read LOL" I'll give him some constructive criticism so that if he does insist on flooding the boards with his articles, at least they won't be horrible. Just really bad.
Stop saying good read. It was a horrible read. I agree with everything Nahste said. It's like making a movie about World War 2, but 99% of the scenes are about three kids playing hopscotch.
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Stop saying good read. It was a horrible read. I agree with everything Nahste said. It's like making a movie about World War 2, but 99% of the scenes are about three kids playing hopscotch.
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