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Well folks, it is getting to be about that time of year again and here at GBU central we couldn't be more excited. We have pre-season action (read: please God don't let any of my team's star players get hurt!) and that can only mean one thing... (if you guessed that the baseball season was winding down then you should stop reading right now and just kill yourself) The NFL regular season is right around the corner. This not only means everyone, yes even the Browns and Raiders, have a legitimate chance to win the super bowl, but also the GBU will be back in full swing! I know, you all are so excited and you just can't wait, we have read all 6 of the emails. So without further pomp and circumstance we fire up the spell checker and introduce you once again to the one, the only, Mr. One-hunglow himself, Steeljake!
Thank you very much, that was much nicer than last time, funny how a no pay due check can change people's attitudes huh? Well, as was already mentioned this a special time of year for the NFL. One of the greatest things about the NFL is that any team, well almost any team anyways, can end up in the super bowl despite what happened last year. Anyone recall the huge turn around made by the Dolphins and Falcons last year? I know the Lions remember what they did and I am sure they will be hoping for a similar result this year. We have a few teams with new coaches, well at least they are new to them anyways. How much difference can a coach make? Well, let's just say that if Parcell's would have stayed in Dallas it might not have been Sixburgh that was the center of celebration this past February.
We have players coming back from injury, players who should have retired, coaches calling out players, coaches beating up other coaches and even a player that we all thought had retired coming back. Right now everyone is 0-0, yes I know pre-season games have been played and teams technically have a record, but the Lions went 4-0 last year in the pre-season and how did that work out for them? We are going to do this by division so let's get right to it. We will go west to east and then later this week I will go through the playoff winners and Super Bowl predictions. Let the speculating begin...
They really need to change the name of this division to the AFC Worst, but I guess that would be too cliché. It must be the air on the west coast that just kills football teams. The winner of this sorry bunch was a paltry 8-8 and had to win the final game of the season against an epically collapsing division rival to do that. 2 of the 4 teams have changed head coaches and quarterbacks as well, but it may not be for the good. The Chargers have long been the most talented team in this division and that remains true this year as well, but the most dysfunctional team title is being fought to the death between the Raiders and Broncos. Here is how we see this mess being sorted out...
1. San Diego Super Chargers 9-7
Despite what seems to be the twilight of LaDanian Tomlinson's career, this team is still poised to make a legitimate run at a super bowl appearance. Philip Rivers, despite being the biggest cry baby in all of sports (yes even bigger than Sergio Garcia), is a top 5 quarterback and has shown he can lead this team even if LT can't get going. The Defense, which ranked a dismal 25th over all last year, is getting Shawn Merriman back and will be looking to march its way back into the top 10 at the very least. The only thing really holding this team back from having a super bowl ring is A.J. Smith and Norv Tunrer. If this team can't get it done this year look for Shannahan's name to get mentioned (this may happen for more than one team).
2. Oakland Raiders 7-9
Normally I wouldn't give Oakland a snow balls chance in hell to even win 6 games, but with the Broncos and Chiefs in rebuild mode and the Browns and Bengals on the schedule I think 7 wins isn't to far out of reach. Al Davis drafted speed at wide out to complement the cannon that Russell has, and while on Madden 10 this is bad news for defenses, in real life it just means Al is still stuck in the 80's. The real strength of this team is the Defense. With all pro shutdown corner Nnamdi Asomugha (on madden this is pronounced na-ham-di asso-moo-gah) leading a halfway decent secondary and Kirk Morrison looking ready to step up his game at MLB the D could keep them in the game long enough for Jano to kick it enough times to outscore the other team. I know they lost their defensive mastermind, but rumor has it that Al was changing the scheme anyways.
3. Kansas City Chiefs 6-10
The fans cried out for the removal of Herm, and they got what they wanted. The GM went first and Herm followed him out the door and our favorite quote of all time went straight into a Coors light commercial, I just love capitalism. The Chiefs reached out and grabbed Scott Pioli from the Pats and then tapped Super Bowl runner up Arizona Cardinal offensive coordinator Todd Haley as their coach. The next step was logical right? Yup you guessed it, turn the Chiefs into Patriots mid-west. First they cracked the piggy bank open for what they hope will be their franchise qb in Matt Cassel, then they grabbed Mike Vrabel and just to be safe they claimed QB Matt Gutierez off of waivers. I mean what do the Pats know right? They only cut him from their team... The Chiefs also added long in the tooth veterans Zach Thomas at line backer and Amani Toomer at wide out. And just to make sure the rebuild mode was completely set in motion, they traded the only talent they had to the Falcons. I know 6 wins is stretching it, but look at it this way K.C. fans, no more Herm right?
4. Denver Broncos 4-12
I was going to put them down at 0-16, but not even I am that mean. Shannahan was let go, and it was probably time to get new blood in there, but his successor doesn't seem to have what we call 'people skills'. New coach Josh McDaniel's first move wasn't to find out what kind of talent he had to work with, or even to talk to his current players to see where they were at. Nope, he didn't even watch film and see what needed to be fixed, because you see, if he had he would have known that even though Jay Cutler is bitchass whinny cunt, he can score points, especially with the weapons he had at wide out in Brandon Marshall (who wants a trade so bad he won't even practice), Eddie Royal and Brandon Stokely. If he had indeed watched the film he would have known that the defense couldn't stop a high school varisty team running the Vince Lomabri power sweep if they were given the snap count. Instead Josh tried to get his boy Cassel and got fucked by Belicheat. Now Cutler is gone, Marshall wants out and the key addition to that aging and slow defense is 125 year old Brian Dawkins. Excellent work Mr. McDaniels. Enjoy the boo’s.
While it is true that the NFC Champion came out of this division last year that may have been what most people refer to as a fluke. Only one team in the division finished over .500 and if Nolan had been ousted sooner, it might not have been Arizona that did that. The Cardinals should be the favorite as they are returning almost all of their starters, but with Seattle suffering a strange season of injuries last year and the pure will to win that Coach Singletary has, this could be a tough road for the Cards to hall to get back into the post season dance.
1. San Francisco 49ers 10-6
No, that is not a typo. I also have Mike Singletary as the coach of the year when it is all said and done. This team has the talent. Frank Gore, Patrick Willis, and Vernon Davis are looking good in pre-season and practice and quarter back Shaun Hill looks as if he can manage the game well enough to keep them from losing on his mistakes. Coach Singletary brought out the nutcracker on day one in camp and he showed this team they will produce or they will go home. Right now this team is buying what he is selling, and who wouldn't listen to a man who was a leader one of the greatest defenses’s of all time? Besides, if they don’t listen he will probably just drop his pants again anyways and who really wants that?
2. Arizona Cardinals 9-7
Yes, I know Fitz, Boldin and Breaston all came back and Warner is till throwing the ball, but guess what? Other teams have coaches too and they can watch film. The running game may get a boost from rookie Beanie Wells and second year man Tim Hightower, but only if Warner can figure out how to hand the ball off without tripping himself or them. Last year no one took this team seriously (read Dallas, Carolina and Philly here) and they snuck up on people. The secret is out this year and that O-line better keep Grandpa Warner upright or 9 wins will only be a pipe dream.
3. Seattle Seahawks 8-8
This year marks the start, and most likely the end, of the Jim Mora era in the pacific north west. Hasselbeck is old and while the defense is going to be better thanks to the newest millionaire to eat at the Space Needle restaurant, it just won’t be enough. When T.J. Whoseurmomma is your biggest threat at wide receiver you know you have issues. Yes, he was pretty good in Cincy, but he had 85 being double teamed to keep his stats up. Maybe I am wrong and Mora will last more than one year, but I am sure Seahawk fans will hope that I am not.
4. St. Louis Rams 5-11
I have no idea what to say about this team. They were so bad they had to jettison their coach at the bye week last year. The interim guy was so great that they didn’t even interview him for the permanent job. The front office stayed the same despite their stellar job at collecting talent and now Bulger will start the year coming off of a broken pinky. The only reason I gave them 5 wins was because they have Steven Jackson. Even with that giant bottom lip weighing him down he will still get 1200 yards rushing and at least 12 td's. What happened to the greatest show on turf? I am sure Vermiel is out there and he could be just one tear filled press conference away from coming back, I mean he couldn't do any worse could he?
For the first time since 2002 a team not name the Colts won the division and as a result their head coach called it a day. The Titans have begun to make a name for themselves, and oddly enough they were the last ones to beat the Colts for the title and it will be a tough race again this year. The Texans were thought to have a shot at the crown last year, but a hurricane and slow start doomed them to the dregs right along with a Jacksonville team that lost their defensive identity. Once again, the Texans will be called out as having a shot, but in reality this division should be decided between the Colts and Titans once again.
1. Tennessee Titans 12-4
The only player missing from last year’s power house team is Albert Hanyesworth and he missed more than a few games last year anyways. The Titans have added wide receiver Nate Washington in free agency to help add a deep threat to their tight end heavy passing attack. And by heavy, I mean fat, have you guys seen Alge lately? He looks like he ate the weight that LenDale shed, but he can still play so go figure. Second year running back Chris Johnson will look to continue tearing up defense's along with his slimmed down in-a-contract-year-so-you-know-he-will-hustle back field mate LenDale White. Kerry Collins still leads the team and even though V.Y. spouted off at the mouth he has shown some promise in preseason, as long as Collins stays on the field and off the sauce how well Vince can run that offense will remain pure speculation, much to the delight of the fans in Nashville I am sure. The season even starts out with what will be the equivalent of a cage fight in Pittsburgh so it will be a hit the ground running mentality in Tennessee, either that they will fall face first and taste concrete.
2. Indianapolis Colts 10-6
New coach, same old Peyton Manning. The questions for this team have always been on defense. They need to get bigger personnel, but that will take more than one year. Bob Sanders is already on the injury list and the more he stays there the less chance this team has of stopping people. Peyton can put up 35 a game, even without Marvin ‘The Gansta’ Harrison, but when your team gives up 40 it's what we call a no win situation. The only reason I gave them 10 wins is because of Peyton, call me what you will but this guy is worth 8-12 wins all by himself even this late in his career.
3. Houston Texans 9-7
This team looks like they want to be good, they just don't know how to do it. Mario Williams is looking more and more like the right choice as their number one draft choice over Bush and wide out Andre Johnson is on the top 5 lists of just about everyone who is not a moron. Matt Schaub is not tearing up the league, but he isn't costing them games either. There is excellent news coming out of training camp for Houston as Grossman will be sidelined for at least 6 weeks and could get cut, believe me Houston you don't want anything to do with sexy Rexy, especially with a burner like Johnson running streaks. Houston could challenge for the division, but it would an outside shot for them at this time.
4. Jacksonville Jaguars 6-10
This will be the last hurrah for coach Del Rio and his debonair suit wearing self. The loss of Stroud coupled with an upset Mike Peterson and the departure of defensive coordinator Mike Smith made this team look pedestrian at best last year. The lack of any kind of depth at wide receiver would have made you think they would draft one or at least go after someone with potential left, but instead they sign Torry Holt? Is he even still alive? Garrard has been found out and while MJD is hard to tackle, without Fred Taylor to soften up the defense for him getting low will only mean he will be closer to the ground when he gets tackled for a loss.
In past years when the question of which division is the toughest in the NFL the answer was always a resounding "NFC East!" After this past year where the home record of this division was a gaudy 27-5, with the Panthers going 8-0 and the Falcons posting a 7-1 mark, the question now has some actual legitimate debate. Both Carolina and Atlanta went one and done in the post season, but if not for a faltering Bucs team they would have posted 3 teams into the dance in 2008. While it is not likely that will happen this year with Tampa in rebuild mode and New Orleans still trying to find a defense, the head to head match ups in this division make for a tight race to the end.
1. Carolina Panthers 11-5
Despite an unhappy Julius Peppers and an interception prone Jake Delhomme, this team returns their two headed running attack of DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart who rushed for a combined 2300 yards and 18 td's last year. They still have the unstoppable Steve Smith and even good old Jake can't over throw him. If they can stay healthy and keep the ball on the ground they will be a force to be reckoned with once again.
2. New Orleans Saints 10-6
Despite a lack luster defense (they were 23rd overall last year... yikes!) this team is kind of like the Colts over in the AFC. Before I get about a million emails telling me what a moron I am for comparing Brees to Manning that is not what I mean. This team can put up points, they average 28 plus and 410 yards per game, and that can be enough in the regular season. Reggie Bush is all but a footnote now and maybe they will start to work on getting a defense built before Sean Payton gets fired, then again maybe not.
3. Atlanta Falcons 8-8
Yes, I am aware that Turner and Ryan are coming back, but what has this team done to help its defense out? They drafted a DT and their rookie safety Moore is hurt for 2 to 4 weeks. I am sure Mr. Jerry is a good prospect at DT, but when the rookie has a good shot at starting you don't really have a great place to build from do you? Turner was great so was Ryan, but as they say, now we have film on them so we shall what teams do to confuse the RoY and his best friend (a running game is always a quarterbacks best friend). I kind of hope I am wrong, but I smell the sophomore slump coming to A-town.
4. Tampa Buccaneers 6-10
The post Chucky era will begin with a whimper as the Bucs head into full rebulid mode. The quarter back competition is between a has been and a never was with McCown and Leftwich fighting it out for who will be the sacrifice offered to the football Gods each Sunday to pay for the transgressions of the Bidwells. The Bucs have cut some of the old and dead pieces off, but there remains plenty of work to be done for first year head man Raheem Morris. At least this year there won't be any expectations so when they fail we won’t have poor little Bucs fan like our buddy Bones crying themselves to sleep.Here is what he wrote last year after the beat down Oakland issued them...
We talk about the best division is the NFL based on talent, but this one ranks up there based on pure hatred and just nasty physical games. This division may have 4 teams, but only two of them have a chance of winning it, and no the Browns and/or the Bengals aren't one of them. Two of the toughest defenses in the NFL live here, and again, neither one calls Ohio home. The Steelers beat the Ravens 3 times, but just two years before that the Ravens swept them and you can bet there is no love lost between any of these teams or the players. Palmer still blames the Steelers for derailing his career and to be honest no one in Pittsburgh cares. The Ravens want the number one D title back and the Browns, well how bad can a team really be? We will surely find out this year won't we…
1. Pittburgh Steelers 12-4
Call me a homer all you want, but all but two defensive players and one offensive player are back this year. The losses of Larry Foote at line backer and Bryant McFadden at Corner will be nothing more than the changing of names in the LeBeau game of kill the quarterback and punish the ball carriers. Nate Washington leaving leaves a bigger and more noticeable hole in what some may call a not so great passing attack, but second year man Limas Sweed has heard the message from Ward and head Coach Mike Tomlin and is working his ass off to get into the slot. The offensive line still is questionable, but when your team only has to score 10 to 17 points, you have a pretty good shot at winning a few games.
2. Baltimore Ravens 10-6
This team is angry and unfortunately for the rest of the NFL, they have talent to go with their anger. Last year they took three beatings from their hated rival and you can bet they want to get even. The loss of Bart Scott and Rex Ryan will hurt them, but not enough to make them so much worse that they will be easy to score on. The questions for this team remain at wide receiver with Derrick Mason being their only real threat and he had to be talked out of retirement. The running game will be what it always is and second year signal caller Joe Flacco should be able to make better reads this year and be able to help win rather than try not to lose the games. Ray Lewis remains at middle linebacker and with him leading that D it will be smack you in the mouth football in Baltimore all year long.
3. Cincinnati Benglas 8-8
Just 4 years ago this team was on the cusp of being a contender, but after their loss to Pittsburgh in the playoffs and an ungodly amount of bad personnel moves, they find themselves on the edge of a complete rebuild. Chad Ochocinco wanted out and even cried when TJ made it and he couldn’t, but his attitude seem to have changed back into at least a productive distraction. Carson palmer was injured last year, and no it wasn't from a Steeler this time, and wants to prove he can be the elite quarterback he is supposed to be. The defense got better last year and even though they added that bum Roy Williams who couldn’t cover his own feet with a 12x12 blanket, they still should be decent despite him. I am not sure if Marvin is on the hot seat, but if this team goes 4-11-1 again his job will be about as safe as a Steelers fan living in downtown Cincy.
4. Cleveland Browns 4-12
What else can be said about this sorry excuse for a team? Their only saving grace is their fans that are loyal to a fault. They have a new head coach in Eric Mangini and everyone was excited for about two minutes. Right up to the second he had the Jim Brown mural painted over at the stadium. He claimed he was looking forward and not back, but Jim Brown? New Coach, same team. Players begging to be traded, showing up to camp and failing physicals and quarterbacks stooping to subterfuge to get a starting job. Maybe next year Browns fans.
The tough, the cold and the domed? Well, that’s close anyways. This division has been fought out between Green Bay and Chi-town for years, that is until Adrian I-always-play-well-against-the-bears Peterson showed up. The Vikings have thrown their hat into the mix and with the Bears adding a qb it could be an actual 3 way fight. The Lions will merely hope to avoid the distinction of a 32 game losing streak and even 3 wins will be a positive for them. At least this year there will be no talk of Favre playing in Green Bay, right?
1. Green Bay Packers 11-5
If not for a slew of injuries this team would have been in the mix last year and there would be people saying ‘Favre who?’ instead of questioning Aaron Rodgers. This team has the players and the talent to make a run into the post season and if they can stay healthy that is just what they will do. Ryan Grant will get the benefit of a full camp with no hold out for a contract and the move to a 3-4 with the drafting of rookie BJ Raji will boost an already good defense. Driver still has the goods and Rodgers can sling it like Favre if he has too. The highlight of this year will be Favre getting beat by his old team twice.
2. Chicago Bears 10-6
The addition of Jay Cutler to a normal team would be just a kind of whatever type of deal. But when a team hasn't had anything resembling a decent quarterback since the 80's it can be cause for celebration, even if it is only Jay Cutler. The wide receiver corps isn't exactly stacked, but with running back Matt Forte looking to continue his beastly running from last year and Urlacher frothing at the mouth to prove he isn’t done for this could be a good year in Chi-town. Cutler might be a pussy cat, minus the cat (nod to Wilbon!), but he can put up points. If you have a defense that can hold teams to 17 or less and a quarterback who puts up 35 you can and will win games. Now if only they could find a way to slow down AP...
3. Minnesota Vikings 8-8
To be honest, before I saw Favre sign I had this team ahead of the Bears. This team has a young and fast defense, a future hall of famer at running back, a decent tight end and a burner at wide out. The problem is that now they also have the interception machine known as Brett I-think-if-I-stop-playing-I-will-die Favre. He could thrown 6 td's or 8 int's, you just never know. Now he has not only age against him but a torn rotator cuff. I know he is tough but the line between tough and stupid is as clear as the current health care reform plan. Are the quarterbacks they have so terrible that they are willing to pay a fossil 12 million bucks to finish 8-8?
4. Detroit Lions 5-11
Everyone knows what happened last year, and you can bet the players haven't forgotten how that felt. I will not go on about stating the obvious about rookie players and washed up veterans trying get some kind of redemption, but instead I will just say Good Luck Detroit.
AFC East
Just like the AFC South, it has been since 2002 that we had a different winner. Oddly enough the last time the Pats lost the division they were tied as well (9-7 with the Jets). The Jets looked like they could have done the deed last season, but they got Favred instead and it cost Mangini his job. Brady is back, T.O. is in Buffalo, the Phins want respect and the Jets have diarrhea of the mouth. Should be an interesting season to say the least.
1. New England Patriots 12-4
Look the Phins were a great story, but now it is time to get back to reality. Tom Brady looks healthy, Belicheat looks like a homeless man and the Pats have added even more one-step-away-from-the-grave talent. Everyone has crowned them top contender already and well they should. They went 11-5 with a guy who hasn't played since high school last year and this year that wildcat junk won't surprise anyone. If Brady can stay upright look for the Pats to do what they do, win.
2. Miami Dolphins 9-7
The wildcat was all the rage last year, maybe this year we will get the old wishbone offense and bring it into the NFL. This team will need to show up and play ball this year after the way they embarrassed people with that single wing stuff and you can bet they want revenge. Ronnie Brown and Ricky Williams can be a force to be reckoned with and with Jason Taylor on the opposite side of the line as Joey Porter the D can do its job as well. The question will be can Chadwick do his part or will Henne get the nod? Bill Parcells may be a genius, but patient with players is never a title he has been tagged with.
3. New York Jets 8-8
While I like the blustery Rex Ryan talking smack to players, coaches, other teams and being a walking sound bite, I fear he will be no more effective as a head caoch than his father was. I realize two rookie quarterbacks made good last year, but that was the exception, not the rule and if the Jets throw Sanchez into the starting role they will learn this the hard way. Bart Scott will definitely bolster the defense, but without Ray Ray and Suggs he might not be quite as effective. Thomas Jones wants out and Washington and Greene may not be ready to shoulder the load on their own just yet. Add to this the fact that Ryan keeps trying to get a rise out of Belicheat and what we have here is failure to stop an ass whippin. Right now Ryan and Kiffin are the same kind of idiot.
4. Buffalo Bills 6-10
This is the end for Dick Jauron. When your best move is adding Terrell Owens you pretty much have reached the end of the road. Right now Owens is claiming he has turf toe... I wonder if it is related to the hamstring injuries he usually has this time of year. For a guy that claims to have a great work ethic he sure misses a lot of time in practice. I know people are saying that Owens will melt down by week 6 or 8, but I will be the first to say he will do no such thing. He knows he needs to be good to get a job on a real team next year.
Well here it is the so called best division in football. It certainly has some of the best rivalries if not the best teams. Philly made it to the NFC Championship game, again, last year and they are being tapped to go to the Super Bowl by some. The Cowboys didn’t even get a chance to end their playoff win drought while the Giants went one and done without Plax and the Skins collapsed in the second half, again. The truth is that anyone of these teams could win the division and a team that goes 10-6 could miss the playoffs, it is just that tough of a division.
1. Philadelphia Eagles 12-4
I personally don't have them in the Super Bowl, but it is not that far off to think they could make it. Westy is healthy, they actually have people who can be called wide receivers with the emergence of DeSean Jackson and despite losing B-Dawk on defense they look pretty solid with Asante Samuel and Sheldon Brown in the secondary. The question mark is what will they do with Vick should he get reinstated? Maybe the wish bone will come out; does anyone know if Andy Reid or his mustache is friends with Barry Switzer? All anyone can really hope for is that Andy doesn’t get hungry at half time and eat the running plays for a snack.
2. New York Giants 11-5
Eli got his money, now he will have to prove he is worth it... by handing the ball off to Bradshaw and Jacobs and just not throwing any picks. Who is in the secondary this year you ask? The answer to that question is who cares. When you have a front line that starts Mathiaus Kiwanuka, Justin Tuck, Osi Umenyoura and Rocky Bernard the real question you should as is how many quarterbacks will die from just the thought of facing this pass rush. Antonio Pierce and Chase Blackburn will clean up any pieces that make it through and you can bet that the meals for them will be few and far between. If Plax hadn't of shot himself in the leg this team would be the number 1 threat to get to the Super Bowl in the NFC this year.
3. Dallas Cowboys 9-7
Yes, I hate Dallas. I wish everyday that this team would go 0-16. I hate the team, the uniforms, that stupid star, their idiot Al Davis wannabe owner, the playboy quarterback, the overrated defense, the marshmallow they call a coach, the new over priced stadium, and most of all their homeristic loud mouth fans. But before you hold all that against me and try to say that anything less than a 10 win prediction is just me hating, consider this...
Terrell Owens had 10 touch downs last year despite crying that he never got the ball. The next closest player had 4 TD's. With Jerry Jones hatred of the running game, of which this team has a beastly one, the loss of 10 td's is to be picked up by Roy Williams? Who is there to make teams cover Williams one on one? Witten you say? That’s a line backer and a safety, that leaves two corners, two linebackers and another safety to stop Williams. I know T.O. needed to go, but he wasn't the only problem, or even the main one. They have no leader and the 9 games I have them winning will be on talent alone. And no, I don’t have them winning a playoff game. Man I really hate Dallas...
4. Washington Redskins 7-9
Campbell is not the answer at quarterback, I am sorry to say. Portis is getting old and while the defense isn't that bad, they certainly aren't what one would call good. It is too bad this team can't learn to draft talent rather than just over pay washed up veterans. I am sure Hanyesworth will be just the player we all know he can be when he is not in a contract year. Moss is aging, Randle El is a slot receiver at best and while Cooley may be a beast on Madden, when he is all they have to worry about in real life it makes it easy for opposing defenses. Zorn could be on his way out with Shannhan out there and an owner like Synder known to go after the name, then again maybe Joe Gibbs wants another shot.
Well, that does it for the regular season; I will break down the post season and make all my picks later this week. So, until then...
Flame on if you like. All comments good, bad and ugly are welcome. You can even email them to us here. As always, this is only my opinion and that plus $171.85 will get you two weeks worth of groceries at Wal-Mart. Tune in next time when we will here a Dallas fan say...
"Why do you hate us so much when all we want is to have a team that doesn't suck and you to please die?"
Thank you very much, that was much nicer than last time, funny how a no pay due check can change people's attitudes huh? Well, as was already mentioned this a special time of year for the NFL. One of the greatest things about the NFL is that any team, well almost any team anyways, can end up in the super bowl despite what happened last year. Anyone recall the huge turn around made by the Dolphins and Falcons last year? I know the Lions remember what they did and I am sure they will be hoping for a similar result this year. We have a few teams with new coaches, well at least they are new to them anyways. How much difference can a coach make? Well, let's just say that if Parcell's would have stayed in Dallas it might not have been Sixburgh that was the center of celebration this past February.
We have players coming back from injury, players who should have retired, coaches calling out players, coaches beating up other coaches and even a player that we all thought had retired coming back. Right now everyone is 0-0, yes I know pre-season games have been played and teams technically have a record, but the Lions went 4-0 last year in the pre-season and how did that work out for them? We are going to do this by division so let's get right to it. We will go west to east and then later this week I will go through the playoff winners and Super Bowl predictions. Let the speculating begin...
AFC West
They really need to change the name of this division to the AFC Worst, but I guess that would be too cliché. It must be the air on the west coast that just kills football teams. The winner of this sorry bunch was a paltry 8-8 and had to win the final game of the season against an epically collapsing division rival to do that. 2 of the 4 teams have changed head coaches and quarterbacks as well, but it may not be for the good. The Chargers have long been the most talented team in this division and that remains true this year as well, but the most dysfunctional team title is being fought to the death between the Raiders and Broncos. Here is how we see this mess being sorted out...
1. San Diego Super Chargers 9-7
Despite what seems to be the twilight of LaDanian Tomlinson's career, this team is still poised to make a legitimate run at a super bowl appearance. Philip Rivers, despite being the biggest cry baby in all of sports (yes even bigger than Sergio Garcia), is a top 5 quarterback and has shown he can lead this team even if LT can't get going. The Defense, which ranked a dismal 25th over all last year, is getting Shawn Merriman back and will be looking to march its way back into the top 10 at the very least. The only thing really holding this team back from having a super bowl ring is A.J. Smith and Norv Tunrer. If this team can't get it done this year look for Shannahan's name to get mentioned (this may happen for more than one team).
2. Oakland Raiders 7-9
Normally I wouldn't give Oakland a snow balls chance in hell to even win 6 games, but with the Broncos and Chiefs in rebuild mode and the Browns and Bengals on the schedule I think 7 wins isn't to far out of reach. Al Davis drafted speed at wide out to complement the cannon that Russell has, and while on Madden 10 this is bad news for defenses, in real life it just means Al is still stuck in the 80's. The real strength of this team is the Defense. With all pro shutdown corner Nnamdi Asomugha (on madden this is pronounced na-ham-di asso-moo-gah) leading a halfway decent secondary and Kirk Morrison looking ready to step up his game at MLB the D could keep them in the game long enough for Jano to kick it enough times to outscore the other team. I know they lost their defensive mastermind, but rumor has it that Al was changing the scheme anyways.
3. Kansas City Chiefs 6-10
The fans cried out for the removal of Herm, and they got what they wanted. The GM went first and Herm followed him out the door and our favorite quote of all time went straight into a Coors light commercial, I just love capitalism. The Chiefs reached out and grabbed Scott Pioli from the Pats and then tapped Super Bowl runner up Arizona Cardinal offensive coordinator Todd Haley as their coach. The next step was logical right? Yup you guessed it, turn the Chiefs into Patriots mid-west. First they cracked the piggy bank open for what they hope will be their franchise qb in Matt Cassel, then they grabbed Mike Vrabel and just to be safe they claimed QB Matt Gutierez off of waivers. I mean what do the Pats know right? They only cut him from their team... The Chiefs also added long in the tooth veterans Zach Thomas at line backer and Amani Toomer at wide out. And just to make sure the rebuild mode was completely set in motion, they traded the only talent they had to the Falcons. I know 6 wins is stretching it, but look at it this way K.C. fans, no more Herm right?
4. Denver Broncos 4-12
I was going to put them down at 0-16, but not even I am that mean. Shannahan was let go, and it was probably time to get new blood in there, but his successor doesn't seem to have what we call 'people skills'. New coach Josh McDaniel's first move wasn't to find out what kind of talent he had to work with, or even to talk to his current players to see where they were at. Nope, he didn't even watch film and see what needed to be fixed, because you see, if he had he would have known that even though Jay Cutler is bitchass whinny cunt, he can score points, especially with the weapons he had at wide out in Brandon Marshall (who wants a trade so bad he won't even practice), Eddie Royal and Brandon Stokely. If he had indeed watched the film he would have known that the defense couldn't stop a high school varisty team running the Vince Lomabri power sweep if they were given the snap count. Instead Josh tried to get his boy Cassel and got fucked by Belicheat. Now Cutler is gone, Marshall wants out and the key addition to that aging and slow defense is 125 year old Brian Dawkins. Excellent work Mr. McDaniels. Enjoy the boo’s.
NFC West
While it is true that the NFC Champion came out of this division last year that may have been what most people refer to as a fluke. Only one team in the division finished over .500 and if Nolan had been ousted sooner, it might not have been Arizona that did that. The Cardinals should be the favorite as they are returning almost all of their starters, but with Seattle suffering a strange season of injuries last year and the pure will to win that Coach Singletary has, this could be a tough road for the Cards to hall to get back into the post season dance.
1. San Francisco 49ers 10-6
No, that is not a typo. I also have Mike Singletary as the coach of the year when it is all said and done. This team has the talent. Frank Gore, Patrick Willis, and Vernon Davis are looking good in pre-season and practice and quarter back Shaun Hill looks as if he can manage the game well enough to keep them from losing on his mistakes. Coach Singletary brought out the nutcracker on day one in camp and he showed this team they will produce or they will go home. Right now this team is buying what he is selling, and who wouldn't listen to a man who was a leader one of the greatest defenses’s of all time? Besides, if they don’t listen he will probably just drop his pants again anyways and who really wants that?
2. Arizona Cardinals 9-7
Yes, I know Fitz, Boldin and Breaston all came back and Warner is till throwing the ball, but guess what? Other teams have coaches too and they can watch film. The running game may get a boost from rookie Beanie Wells and second year man Tim Hightower, but only if Warner can figure out how to hand the ball off without tripping himself or them. Last year no one took this team seriously (read Dallas, Carolina and Philly here) and they snuck up on people. The secret is out this year and that O-line better keep Grandpa Warner upright or 9 wins will only be a pipe dream.
3. Seattle Seahawks 8-8
This year marks the start, and most likely the end, of the Jim Mora era in the pacific north west. Hasselbeck is old and while the defense is going to be better thanks to the newest millionaire to eat at the Space Needle restaurant, it just won’t be enough. When T.J. Whoseurmomma is your biggest threat at wide receiver you know you have issues. Yes, he was pretty good in Cincy, but he had 85 being double teamed to keep his stats up. Maybe I am wrong and Mora will last more than one year, but I am sure Seahawk fans will hope that I am not.
4. St. Louis Rams 5-11
I have no idea what to say about this team. They were so bad they had to jettison their coach at the bye week last year. The interim guy was so great that they didn’t even interview him for the permanent job. The front office stayed the same despite their stellar job at collecting talent and now Bulger will start the year coming off of a broken pinky. The only reason I gave them 5 wins was because they have Steven Jackson. Even with that giant bottom lip weighing him down he will still get 1200 yards rushing and at least 12 td's. What happened to the greatest show on turf? I am sure Vermiel is out there and he could be just one tear filled press conference away from coming back, I mean he couldn't do any worse could he?
AFC South
For the first time since 2002 a team not name the Colts won the division and as a result their head coach called it a day. The Titans have begun to make a name for themselves, and oddly enough they were the last ones to beat the Colts for the title and it will be a tough race again this year. The Texans were thought to have a shot at the crown last year, but a hurricane and slow start doomed them to the dregs right along with a Jacksonville team that lost their defensive identity. Once again, the Texans will be called out as having a shot, but in reality this division should be decided between the Colts and Titans once again.
1. Tennessee Titans 12-4
The only player missing from last year’s power house team is Albert Hanyesworth and he missed more than a few games last year anyways. The Titans have added wide receiver Nate Washington in free agency to help add a deep threat to their tight end heavy passing attack. And by heavy, I mean fat, have you guys seen Alge lately? He looks like he ate the weight that LenDale shed, but he can still play so go figure. Second year running back Chris Johnson will look to continue tearing up defense's along with his slimmed down in-a-contract-year-so-you-know-he-will-hustle back field mate LenDale White. Kerry Collins still leads the team and even though V.Y. spouted off at the mouth he has shown some promise in preseason, as long as Collins stays on the field and off the sauce how well Vince can run that offense will remain pure speculation, much to the delight of the fans in Nashville I am sure. The season even starts out with what will be the equivalent of a cage fight in Pittsburgh so it will be a hit the ground running mentality in Tennessee, either that they will fall face first and taste concrete.
2. Indianapolis Colts 10-6
New coach, same old Peyton Manning. The questions for this team have always been on defense. They need to get bigger personnel, but that will take more than one year. Bob Sanders is already on the injury list and the more he stays there the less chance this team has of stopping people. Peyton can put up 35 a game, even without Marvin ‘The Gansta’ Harrison, but when your team gives up 40 it's what we call a no win situation. The only reason I gave them 10 wins is because of Peyton, call me what you will but this guy is worth 8-12 wins all by himself even this late in his career.
3. Houston Texans 9-7
This team looks like they want to be good, they just don't know how to do it. Mario Williams is looking more and more like the right choice as their number one draft choice over Bush and wide out Andre Johnson is on the top 5 lists of just about everyone who is not a moron. Matt Schaub is not tearing up the league, but he isn't costing them games either. There is excellent news coming out of training camp for Houston as Grossman will be sidelined for at least 6 weeks and could get cut, believe me Houston you don't want anything to do with sexy Rexy, especially with a burner like Johnson running streaks. Houston could challenge for the division, but it would an outside shot for them at this time.
4. Jacksonville Jaguars 6-10
This will be the last hurrah for coach Del Rio and his debonair suit wearing self. The loss of Stroud coupled with an upset Mike Peterson and the departure of defensive coordinator Mike Smith made this team look pedestrian at best last year. The lack of any kind of depth at wide receiver would have made you think they would draft one or at least go after someone with potential left, but instead they sign Torry Holt? Is he even still alive? Garrard has been found out and while MJD is hard to tackle, without Fred Taylor to soften up the defense for him getting low will only mean he will be closer to the ground when he gets tackled for a loss.
NFC South
In past years when the question of which division is the toughest in the NFL the answer was always a resounding "NFC East!" After this past year where the home record of this division was a gaudy 27-5, with the Panthers going 8-0 and the Falcons posting a 7-1 mark, the question now has some actual legitimate debate. Both Carolina and Atlanta went one and done in the post season, but if not for a faltering Bucs team they would have posted 3 teams into the dance in 2008. While it is not likely that will happen this year with Tampa in rebuild mode and New Orleans still trying to find a defense, the head to head match ups in this division make for a tight race to the end.
1. Carolina Panthers 11-5
Despite an unhappy Julius Peppers and an interception prone Jake Delhomme, this team returns their two headed running attack of DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart who rushed for a combined 2300 yards and 18 td's last year. They still have the unstoppable Steve Smith and even good old Jake can't over throw him. If they can stay healthy and keep the ball on the ground they will be a force to be reckoned with once again.
2. New Orleans Saints 10-6
Despite a lack luster defense (they were 23rd overall last year... yikes!) this team is kind of like the Colts over in the AFC. Before I get about a million emails telling me what a moron I am for comparing Brees to Manning that is not what I mean. This team can put up points, they average 28 plus and 410 yards per game, and that can be enough in the regular season. Reggie Bush is all but a footnote now and maybe they will start to work on getting a defense built before Sean Payton gets fired, then again maybe not.
3. Atlanta Falcons 8-8
Yes, I am aware that Turner and Ryan are coming back, but what has this team done to help its defense out? They drafted a DT and their rookie safety Moore is hurt for 2 to 4 weeks. I am sure Mr. Jerry is a good prospect at DT, but when the rookie has a good shot at starting you don't really have a great place to build from do you? Turner was great so was Ryan, but as they say, now we have film on them so we shall what teams do to confuse the RoY and his best friend (a running game is always a quarterbacks best friend). I kind of hope I am wrong, but I smell the sophomore slump coming to A-town.
4. Tampa Buccaneers 6-10
The post Chucky era will begin with a whimper as the Bucs head into full rebulid mode. The quarter back competition is between a has been and a never was with McCown and Leftwich fighting it out for who will be the sacrifice offered to the football Gods each Sunday to pay for the transgressions of the Bidwells. The Bucs have cut some of the old and dead pieces off, but there remains plenty of work to be done for first year head man Raheem Morris. At least this year there won't be any expectations so when they fail we won’t have poor little Bucs fan like our buddy Bones crying themselves to sleep.Here is what he wrote last year after the beat down Oakland issued them...
Originally posted by Bones
AFC North
We talk about the best division is the NFL based on talent, but this one ranks up there based on pure hatred and just nasty physical games. This division may have 4 teams, but only two of them have a chance of winning it, and no the Browns and/or the Bengals aren't one of them. Two of the toughest defenses in the NFL live here, and again, neither one calls Ohio home. The Steelers beat the Ravens 3 times, but just two years before that the Ravens swept them and you can bet there is no love lost between any of these teams or the players. Palmer still blames the Steelers for derailing his career and to be honest no one in Pittsburgh cares. The Ravens want the number one D title back and the Browns, well how bad can a team really be? We will surely find out this year won't we…
1. Pittburgh Steelers 12-4
Call me a homer all you want, but all but two defensive players and one offensive player are back this year. The losses of Larry Foote at line backer and Bryant McFadden at Corner will be nothing more than the changing of names in the LeBeau game of kill the quarterback and punish the ball carriers. Nate Washington leaving leaves a bigger and more noticeable hole in what some may call a not so great passing attack, but second year man Limas Sweed has heard the message from Ward and head Coach Mike Tomlin and is working his ass off to get into the slot. The offensive line still is questionable, but when your team only has to score 10 to 17 points, you have a pretty good shot at winning a few games.
2. Baltimore Ravens 10-6
This team is angry and unfortunately for the rest of the NFL, they have talent to go with their anger. Last year they took three beatings from their hated rival and you can bet they want to get even. The loss of Bart Scott and Rex Ryan will hurt them, but not enough to make them so much worse that they will be easy to score on. The questions for this team remain at wide receiver with Derrick Mason being their only real threat and he had to be talked out of retirement. The running game will be what it always is and second year signal caller Joe Flacco should be able to make better reads this year and be able to help win rather than try not to lose the games. Ray Lewis remains at middle linebacker and with him leading that D it will be smack you in the mouth football in Baltimore all year long.
3. Cincinnati Benglas 8-8
Just 4 years ago this team was on the cusp of being a contender, but after their loss to Pittsburgh in the playoffs and an ungodly amount of bad personnel moves, they find themselves on the edge of a complete rebuild. Chad Ochocinco wanted out and even cried when TJ made it and he couldn’t, but his attitude seem to have changed back into at least a productive distraction. Carson palmer was injured last year, and no it wasn't from a Steeler this time, and wants to prove he can be the elite quarterback he is supposed to be. The defense got better last year and even though they added that bum Roy Williams who couldn’t cover his own feet with a 12x12 blanket, they still should be decent despite him. I am not sure if Marvin is on the hot seat, but if this team goes 4-11-1 again his job will be about as safe as a Steelers fan living in downtown Cincy.
4. Cleveland Browns 4-12
What else can be said about this sorry excuse for a team? Their only saving grace is their fans that are loyal to a fault. They have a new head coach in Eric Mangini and everyone was excited for about two minutes. Right up to the second he had the Jim Brown mural painted over at the stadium. He claimed he was looking forward and not back, but Jim Brown? New Coach, same team. Players begging to be traded, showing up to camp and failing physicals and quarterbacks stooping to subterfuge to get a starting job. Maybe next year Browns fans.
NFC North
The tough, the cold and the domed? Well, that’s close anyways. This division has been fought out between Green Bay and Chi-town for years, that is until Adrian I-always-play-well-against-the-bears Peterson showed up. The Vikings have thrown their hat into the mix and with the Bears adding a qb it could be an actual 3 way fight. The Lions will merely hope to avoid the distinction of a 32 game losing streak and even 3 wins will be a positive for them. At least this year there will be no talk of Favre playing in Green Bay, right?
1. Green Bay Packers 11-5
If not for a slew of injuries this team would have been in the mix last year and there would be people saying ‘Favre who?’ instead of questioning Aaron Rodgers. This team has the players and the talent to make a run into the post season and if they can stay healthy that is just what they will do. Ryan Grant will get the benefit of a full camp with no hold out for a contract and the move to a 3-4 with the drafting of rookie BJ Raji will boost an already good defense. Driver still has the goods and Rodgers can sling it like Favre if he has too. The highlight of this year will be Favre getting beat by his old team twice.
2. Chicago Bears 10-6
The addition of Jay Cutler to a normal team would be just a kind of whatever type of deal. But when a team hasn't had anything resembling a decent quarterback since the 80's it can be cause for celebration, even if it is only Jay Cutler. The wide receiver corps isn't exactly stacked, but with running back Matt Forte looking to continue his beastly running from last year and Urlacher frothing at the mouth to prove he isn’t done for this could be a good year in Chi-town. Cutler might be a pussy cat, minus the cat (nod to Wilbon!), but he can put up points. If you have a defense that can hold teams to 17 or less and a quarterback who puts up 35 you can and will win games. Now if only they could find a way to slow down AP...
3. Minnesota Vikings 8-8
To be honest, before I saw Favre sign I had this team ahead of the Bears. This team has a young and fast defense, a future hall of famer at running back, a decent tight end and a burner at wide out. The problem is that now they also have the interception machine known as Brett I-think-if-I-stop-playing-I-will-die Favre. He could thrown 6 td's or 8 int's, you just never know. Now he has not only age against him but a torn rotator cuff. I know he is tough but the line between tough and stupid is as clear as the current health care reform plan. Are the quarterbacks they have so terrible that they are willing to pay a fossil 12 million bucks to finish 8-8?
4. Detroit Lions 5-11
Everyone knows what happened last year, and you can bet the players haven't forgotten how that felt. I will not go on about stating the obvious about rookie players and washed up veterans trying get some kind of redemption, but instead I will just say Good Luck Detroit.
AFC East
Just like the AFC South, it has been since 2002 that we had a different winner. Oddly enough the last time the Pats lost the division they were tied as well (9-7 with the Jets). The Jets looked like they could have done the deed last season, but they got Favred instead and it cost Mangini his job. Brady is back, T.O. is in Buffalo, the Phins want respect and the Jets have diarrhea of the mouth. Should be an interesting season to say the least.
1. New England Patriots 12-4
Look the Phins were a great story, but now it is time to get back to reality. Tom Brady looks healthy, Belicheat looks like a homeless man and the Pats have added even more one-step-away-from-the-grave talent. Everyone has crowned them top contender already and well they should. They went 11-5 with a guy who hasn't played since high school last year and this year that wildcat junk won't surprise anyone. If Brady can stay upright look for the Pats to do what they do, win.
2. Miami Dolphins 9-7
The wildcat was all the rage last year, maybe this year we will get the old wishbone offense and bring it into the NFL. This team will need to show up and play ball this year after the way they embarrassed people with that single wing stuff and you can bet they want revenge. Ronnie Brown and Ricky Williams can be a force to be reckoned with and with Jason Taylor on the opposite side of the line as Joey Porter the D can do its job as well. The question will be can Chadwick do his part or will Henne get the nod? Bill Parcells may be a genius, but patient with players is never a title he has been tagged with.
3. New York Jets 8-8
While I like the blustery Rex Ryan talking smack to players, coaches, other teams and being a walking sound bite, I fear he will be no more effective as a head caoch than his father was. I realize two rookie quarterbacks made good last year, but that was the exception, not the rule and if the Jets throw Sanchez into the starting role they will learn this the hard way. Bart Scott will definitely bolster the defense, but without Ray Ray and Suggs he might not be quite as effective. Thomas Jones wants out and Washington and Greene may not be ready to shoulder the load on their own just yet. Add to this the fact that Ryan keeps trying to get a rise out of Belicheat and what we have here is failure to stop an ass whippin. Right now Ryan and Kiffin are the same kind of idiot.
4. Buffalo Bills 6-10
This is the end for Dick Jauron. When your best move is adding Terrell Owens you pretty much have reached the end of the road. Right now Owens is claiming he has turf toe... I wonder if it is related to the hamstring injuries he usually has this time of year. For a guy that claims to have a great work ethic he sure misses a lot of time in practice. I know people are saying that Owens will melt down by week 6 or 8, but I will be the first to say he will do no such thing. He knows he needs to be good to get a job on a real team next year.
NFC East
Well here it is the so called best division in football. It certainly has some of the best rivalries if not the best teams. Philly made it to the NFC Championship game, again, last year and they are being tapped to go to the Super Bowl by some. The Cowboys didn’t even get a chance to end their playoff win drought while the Giants went one and done without Plax and the Skins collapsed in the second half, again. The truth is that anyone of these teams could win the division and a team that goes 10-6 could miss the playoffs, it is just that tough of a division.
1. Philadelphia Eagles 12-4
I personally don't have them in the Super Bowl, but it is not that far off to think they could make it. Westy is healthy, they actually have people who can be called wide receivers with the emergence of DeSean Jackson and despite losing B-Dawk on defense they look pretty solid with Asante Samuel and Sheldon Brown in the secondary. The question mark is what will they do with Vick should he get reinstated? Maybe the wish bone will come out; does anyone know if Andy Reid or his mustache is friends with Barry Switzer? All anyone can really hope for is that Andy doesn’t get hungry at half time and eat the running plays for a snack.
2. New York Giants 11-5
Eli got his money, now he will have to prove he is worth it... by handing the ball off to Bradshaw and Jacobs and just not throwing any picks. Who is in the secondary this year you ask? The answer to that question is who cares. When you have a front line that starts Mathiaus Kiwanuka, Justin Tuck, Osi Umenyoura and Rocky Bernard the real question you should as is how many quarterbacks will die from just the thought of facing this pass rush. Antonio Pierce and Chase Blackburn will clean up any pieces that make it through and you can bet that the meals for them will be few and far between. If Plax hadn't of shot himself in the leg this team would be the number 1 threat to get to the Super Bowl in the NFC this year.
3. Dallas Cowboys 9-7
Yes, I hate Dallas. I wish everyday that this team would go 0-16. I hate the team, the uniforms, that stupid star, their idiot Al Davis wannabe owner, the playboy quarterback, the overrated defense, the marshmallow they call a coach, the new over priced stadium, and most of all their homeristic loud mouth fans. But before you hold all that against me and try to say that anything less than a 10 win prediction is just me hating, consider this...
Terrell Owens had 10 touch downs last year despite crying that he never got the ball. The next closest player had 4 TD's. With Jerry Jones hatred of the running game, of which this team has a beastly one, the loss of 10 td's is to be picked up by Roy Williams? Who is there to make teams cover Williams one on one? Witten you say? That’s a line backer and a safety, that leaves two corners, two linebackers and another safety to stop Williams. I know T.O. needed to go, but he wasn't the only problem, or even the main one. They have no leader and the 9 games I have them winning will be on talent alone. And no, I don’t have them winning a playoff game. Man I really hate Dallas...
4. Washington Redskins 7-9
Campbell is not the answer at quarterback, I am sorry to say. Portis is getting old and while the defense isn't that bad, they certainly aren't what one would call good. It is too bad this team can't learn to draft talent rather than just over pay washed up veterans. I am sure Hanyesworth will be just the player we all know he can be when he is not in a contract year. Moss is aging, Randle El is a slot receiver at best and while Cooley may be a beast on Madden, when he is all they have to worry about in real life it makes it easy for opposing defenses. Zorn could be on his way out with Shannhan out there and an owner like Synder known to go after the name, then again maybe Joe Gibbs wants another shot.
Well, that does it for the regular season; I will break down the post season and make all my picks later this week. So, until then...
Flame on if you like. All comments good, bad and ugly are welcome. You can even email them to us here. As always, this is only my opinion and that plus $171.85 will get you two weeks worth of groceries at Wal-Mart. Tune in next time when we will here a Dallas fan say...
"Why do you hate us so much when all we want is to have a team that doesn't suck and you to please die?"
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