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Lat week the GBU squad took a bye, this week we come back with a fury!!! Well maybe not a fury, maybe more like a furry or something but nonetheless we have plenty to get to this week. Let's get a these four things to kick us off!!!
- Despite the Houston fans doing their best city of brotherly love imitation Matt Schaub being hurt actually hurts the Texans
- Oakland may have been the cure for the Redskins winless run, but the Jets are Oakland East so there ya go Pittsburgh
- The number of people shocked that Tom Brady drove the field for a last second score stands at one:
- The Manning brothers continue to fuel the rumors that Eli was fathered by the milk man
We have last second wins, unexpected blow outs, expected blow outs and much more more to get this week. We also have the 2013 debut of contender/pretender coming up between the bad and ugly. The pre-game is over so let's get right to it!!!
- Chicago Bears
Jay Cutlulz reared his ugly head last week, but with the turnover machine formerly known as Eli Manning on the other team this week a win was sure to be had. great job guys... maybe.
- Green Bay Packers
Way to hold on in Baltimore I guess. I thought this was some explosive team? A win is a win I suppose. I wouldn't be too concerned being 1 game back the Bears are sure to melt down.
- Cincinnati Bengals
Who are these guys?!?!? First they take down the Pats and now they actually win a game in OT? I am half expecting to see Ocho and TJ Whoseurmomma on the field only to see Palmer get knee capped in the playoffs. Either way until these Bengals revert to the Bungles they get to reside on the good.
- St. Louis Rams
Nothing helps a win more than playing Oakland, except playing a team that has given up a pick 6 4 games in a row. Make that 5 now. win 'em anyway you can as the W is all that matters. 3-3 looks good, just not with your division.
- Kansas City Chiefs
I know Alex Smith is thrilled to be winning but he better be buying Jamal Charles a huge Christmas gift. I am still in awe that Andy Reid is the coach of a team with more rushing attempts than passing attempts. Maybe his mustache got left in Philly? 10 sacks probably helped and of course they played Oakland.
- Carolina Panthers
Cam Newton does this once or three times a year and everyone comes out saying he's a great player and blah blah blah. he will go back to stinking when they play anyone else. Good win this week.
- Philadelphia Eagles
Well what do ya know... Team is struggling with Vick, Vick gets hurt and his back up comes in and they win. Chip Kelley had to know that this was coming right? I mean this story is almost as famous in Philly as a Pat's or Geno's cheese steak and just as consistent. Foles is taking the first team reps and Vick is saying he will be ready next week maybe. The win is all that matters... for now.
- Denver Broncos
Hey look at that... The Orange Crush rolled on against a high school team. Shoulda covered the spread though.
- Seattle Seahawks
This team just wants to win. Kicker gets hurt and that leads to a score by the Titans to lead by 11 before the half. But you can't keep the soearing Seahawks down and we have another win to add to the stack for the wet northwest. 1 game up on the 9ers with a win against them is a plus as well.
- New England Patriots
Julian Edelman might not be a fan a Tom Terrific, but everyone else in Foxboro is. Brady drives the field and slings one into the end zone to save Belicheat from having to answer for a 4th down decision deep in their own territory and no one is shocked, but plenty ain't happy. Brady and his merry band of no name wide outs just keeps rolling and again... no one is shocked.
- San Francisco 49ers
It was the Cardinals... so yeah you better win. Next!!
- Dallas Cowboys
Ugh... this kills me but good on ya. I need a shower now...
- San Diego Chargers
What have we learned?!?!?! Wear the powder blues always!!! Period!
And now for our musical break:
Now back to our regularly scheduled program...
- Baltimore Ravens
So close yet so far away. You guys do know that Joe Flacco is not an elite QB right and that running the ball is not against the rules? Oh well... you just keep letting Joey sling it right to an early vacation this year.
- Oakland Raiders
You're only here instead of the Uggo's because you won last week. I knew you couldn't win two in a row. By the way, do you guys miss Lecher yet?
- Pittsburgh Steelers
Oh boy you git a win and a turnover!!! It only took week 6, Cowher in the booth, Geno Smith and taking the games out of the locker room. Yea man, cuz playing shuffle board is causing you to suck. Come on man!!!
- Jacksonville Jaguars
Hey you lost, but you beat the spread!!! Moral victory? Not in the NFL.
- Tennessee Titans
Way to swing the moment then just give it up. The Colts lost as well so you didn't lose ground, but it is only a matter of time if this keeps up.
- New Orleans Saints
Oh when the Saints
Play the Pats
and give them more than 10 seconds on the clock and two shots at the end zone
they lose.
- Arizona Cardinals
Some players makes other around them better, Carson Palmer is not that player. Fitzty coughs up a fumble for the first time 2008 and they lose of course. The NFC west is supposed to be up and coming but I guess that memo didn't reach the desert.
- Indianapolis Colts
Don't believe the hype next time and just play the game and you won't get crushed on the west side. Also, learn to catch the ball or at least cheat and put sticem' on your hands. Next!!!
Now it is time for contender/pretender!!!
Here is how this works. Top five for each category with 5 being the worst in contender and the best slot in pretender.
Let's start with the losers...
Pretenders:
1. 49ers
All the hype and that win week one against the Packers lead many to believe in the 9ers and King Kap. They are back on track by running the ball and Vernon Davis getting healthy but we at the GBU ain't buying them winning a meaningful game in January.
2. Dallas Cowboys
Yes they won and are 2-0 in the division, but we all know Romo is gonna choke. He did it against the Broncos. It wasn't the first and it damn sure won't be the last. Injuries are starting to pile up and making this team one dimensional and on Romo's shoulders is a perfect recipe for failure.
3. Kansas City Chiefs
Yea yea, they are undefeated. But the work load on Charles and the lack of playing a quality team leads me to believe that the Chiefs could have a great first half only to miss the playoffs altogether.
[B]4. Chicago Bears[B]
Jay Cutler as your quarter back alone makes this team a pretender. They still could win their division, but I doubt it. Neckeard guffaws at you Chi-town.
[B]5. Miami Dolphins[B]
A good start lead many to think this team could go far, but I remind you all that Tannehill is not Marino and it is a long season.
Contenders:
5. Indianapolis Colts
Luck may not be Manning but they are winning like he is. A stumble this week was a good thing so they don't by into the hype. The Broncos come to town next and that might leave them with another loss but I really feel like the AFC South goes through Indy this year.
[B]4. New Orleans Saints[B]
Tough last second loss and all this is still a force to be reckoned with. I don't see a reason why they won't get the NFC South title and besides the Seahawks no one else is playing as good or tough in the NFC.
[B]3. Seattle Seahawks[B]
This team is winning by heart. Come back wins, tough wins and a blow out of a division rival are only making this team believe in themselves more and more every week and so does the GBU.
[B]2. New England Patriots[B]
Tom Brady still doesn't know who his receivers are but that means nothing. The W's pile up and a game or two in the new year looks to be in their future.
[B]1. Denver Broncos[B]
Well, who else is the number one contender? Undefeated and with no signs of slowing down how can they not be numero uno?
Now it's time to get mean, get nasty and just plain...
- New York Football Giants
15 picks is the same as the number Eli threw all of last year and there is no end in sight. No defensive push, no running game... just no anything. I am sure the calls for Coughlins head will start to get loud very soon.
[I]- Houston Texans[I]
5 pick 6's in a row... did someone walk under a ladder down there or what? They thought it was Schaub, but the back up wouldn't let the streak end. so much for getting better every year.
- Washington Redskins
All the hoopla about changing the so called offensive name aside, this team looks horrible. I guess holding RG III out the entire pre-season wasn't such a good idea after all huh guys? Shannahan is being mentioned as on the hot seat and a few more losses will seal that deal for sure.
- Tampa Bay Bucs
Yup, you still suck. Sell Freeman out and then release him and just keep on losing. Anyone looking for a place to rent in Tampa? I hear Schiano might kknow of an opening.
- Julian Eldeman
No you aren't Welker, but leaving the golden boy hanging on some dap is a great way to be more like him; gone.
That is all we have for this week people, tune in next week when we'll hear Colts fans say: 'Maybe Luck isn't quite as good as Peyton afterall...' Send all hate mail, love letters and death threats to gbu_central@yahoo.com and find us on Facebook (The GBU) and twitter @GBUCentral and as always remember this is just my opinion and that and a face for radio will earn you $1000 in three days dj'ing at the strip club.
- Despite the Houston fans doing their best city of brotherly love imitation Matt Schaub being hurt actually hurts the Texans
- Oakland may have been the cure for the Redskins winless run, but the Jets are Oakland East so there ya go Pittsburgh
- The number of people shocked that Tom Brady drove the field for a last second score stands at one:
- The Manning brothers continue to fuel the rumors that Eli was fathered by the milk man
We have last second wins, unexpected blow outs, expected blow outs and much more more to get this week. We also have the 2013 debut of contender/pretender coming up between the bad and ugly. The pre-game is over so let's get right to it!!!
- The Good
- Chicago Bears
Jay Cutlulz reared his ugly head last week, but with the turnover machine formerly known as Eli Manning on the other team this week a win was sure to be had. great job guys... maybe.
- Green Bay Packers
Way to hold on in Baltimore I guess. I thought this was some explosive team? A win is a win I suppose. I wouldn't be too concerned being 1 game back the Bears are sure to melt down.
- Cincinnati Bengals
Who are these guys?!?!? First they take down the Pats and now they actually win a game in OT? I am half expecting to see Ocho and TJ Whoseurmomma on the field only to see Palmer get knee capped in the playoffs. Either way until these Bengals revert to the Bungles they get to reside on the good.
- St. Louis Rams
Nothing helps a win more than playing Oakland, except playing a team that has given up a pick 6 4 games in a row. Make that 5 now. win 'em anyway you can as the W is all that matters. 3-3 looks good, just not with your division.
- Kansas City Chiefs
I know Alex Smith is thrilled to be winning but he better be buying Jamal Charles a huge Christmas gift. I am still in awe that Andy Reid is the coach of a team with more rushing attempts than passing attempts. Maybe his mustache got left in Philly? 10 sacks probably helped and of course they played Oakland.
- Carolina Panthers
Cam Newton does this once or three times a year and everyone comes out saying he's a great player and blah blah blah. he will go back to stinking when they play anyone else. Good win this week.
- Philadelphia Eagles
Well what do ya know... Team is struggling with Vick, Vick gets hurt and his back up comes in and they win. Chip Kelley had to know that this was coming right? I mean this story is almost as famous in Philly as a Pat's or Geno's cheese steak and just as consistent. Foles is taking the first team reps and Vick is saying he will be ready next week maybe. The win is all that matters... for now.
- Denver Broncos
Hey look at that... The Orange Crush rolled on against a high school team. Shoulda covered the spread though.
- Seattle Seahawks
This team just wants to win. Kicker gets hurt and that leads to a score by the Titans to lead by 11 before the half. But you can't keep the soearing Seahawks down and we have another win to add to the stack for the wet northwest. 1 game up on the 9ers with a win against them is a plus as well.
- New England Patriots
Julian Edelman might not be a fan a Tom Terrific, but everyone else in Foxboro is. Brady drives the field and slings one into the end zone to save Belicheat from having to answer for a 4th down decision deep in their own territory and no one is shocked, but plenty ain't happy. Brady and his merry band of no name wide outs just keeps rolling and again... no one is shocked.
- San Francisco 49ers
It was the Cardinals... so yeah you better win. Next!!
- Dallas Cowboys
Ugh... this kills me but good on ya. I need a shower now...
- San Diego Chargers
What have we learned?!?!?! Wear the powder blues always!!! Period!
And now for our musical break:
Now back to our regularly scheduled program...
The Bad
- Baltimore Ravens
So close yet so far away. You guys do know that Joe Flacco is not an elite QB right and that running the ball is not against the rules? Oh well... you just keep letting Joey sling it right to an early vacation this year.
- Oakland Raiders
You're only here instead of the Uggo's because you won last week. I knew you couldn't win two in a row. By the way, do you guys miss Lecher yet?
- Pittsburgh Steelers
Oh boy you git a win and a turnover!!! It only took week 6, Cowher in the booth, Geno Smith and taking the games out of the locker room. Yea man, cuz playing shuffle board is causing you to suck. Come on man!!!
- Jacksonville Jaguars
Hey you lost, but you beat the spread!!! Moral victory? Not in the NFL.
- Tennessee Titans
Way to swing the moment then just give it up. The Colts lost as well so you didn't lose ground, but it is only a matter of time if this keeps up.
- New Orleans Saints
Oh when the Saints
Play the Pats
and give them more than 10 seconds on the clock and two shots at the end zone
they lose.
- Arizona Cardinals
Some players makes other around them better, Carson Palmer is not that player. Fitzty coughs up a fumble for the first time 2008 and they lose of course. The NFC west is supposed to be up and coming but I guess that memo didn't reach the desert.
- Indianapolis Colts
Don't believe the hype next time and just play the game and you won't get crushed on the west side. Also, learn to catch the ball or at least cheat and put sticem' on your hands. Next!!!
Now it is time for contender/pretender!!!
Here is how this works. Top five for each category with 5 being the worst in contender and the best slot in pretender.
Let's start with the losers...
Pretenders:
1. 49ers
All the hype and that win week one against the Packers lead many to believe in the 9ers and King Kap. They are back on track by running the ball and Vernon Davis getting healthy but we at the GBU ain't buying them winning a meaningful game in January.
2. Dallas Cowboys
Yes they won and are 2-0 in the division, but we all know Romo is gonna choke. He did it against the Broncos. It wasn't the first and it damn sure won't be the last. Injuries are starting to pile up and making this team one dimensional and on Romo's shoulders is a perfect recipe for failure.
3. Kansas City Chiefs
Yea yea, they are undefeated. But the work load on Charles and the lack of playing a quality team leads me to believe that the Chiefs could have a great first half only to miss the playoffs altogether.
[B]4. Chicago Bears[B]
Jay Cutler as your quarter back alone makes this team a pretender. They still could win their division, but I doubt it. Neckeard guffaws at you Chi-town.
[B]5. Miami Dolphins[B]
A good start lead many to think this team could go far, but I remind you all that Tannehill is not Marino and it is a long season.
Contenders:
5. Indianapolis Colts
Luck may not be Manning but they are winning like he is. A stumble this week was a good thing so they don't by into the hype. The Broncos come to town next and that might leave them with another loss but I really feel like the AFC South goes through Indy this year.
[B]4. New Orleans Saints[B]
Tough last second loss and all this is still a force to be reckoned with. I don't see a reason why they won't get the NFC South title and besides the Seahawks no one else is playing as good or tough in the NFC.
[B]3. Seattle Seahawks[B]
This team is winning by heart. Come back wins, tough wins and a blow out of a division rival are only making this team believe in themselves more and more every week and so does the GBU.
[B]2. New England Patriots[B]
Tom Brady still doesn't know who his receivers are but that means nothing. The W's pile up and a game or two in the new year looks to be in their future.
[B]1. Denver Broncos[B]
Well, who else is the number one contender? Undefeated and with no signs of slowing down how can they not be numero uno?
Now it's time to get mean, get nasty and just plain...
Ugly!!!
- New York Football Giants
15 picks is the same as the number Eli threw all of last year and there is no end in sight. No defensive push, no running game... just no anything. I am sure the calls for Coughlins head will start to get loud very soon.
[I]- Houston Texans[I]
5 pick 6's in a row... did someone walk under a ladder down there or what? They thought it was Schaub, but the back up wouldn't let the streak end. so much for getting better every year.
- Washington Redskins
All the hoopla about changing the so called offensive name aside, this team looks horrible. I guess holding RG III out the entire pre-season wasn't such a good idea after all huh guys? Shannahan is being mentioned as on the hot seat and a few more losses will seal that deal for sure.
- Tampa Bay Bucs
Yup, you still suck. Sell Freeman out and then release him and just keep on losing. Anyone looking for a place to rent in Tampa? I hear Schiano might kknow of an opening.
- Julian Eldeman
No you aren't Welker, but leaving the golden boy hanging on some dap is a great way to be more like him; gone.
That is all we have for this week people, tune in next week when we'll hear Colts fans say: 'Maybe Luck isn't quite as good as Peyton afterall...' Send all hate mail, love letters and death threats to gbu_central@yahoo.com and find us on Facebook (The GBU) and twitter @GBUCentral and as always remember this is just my opinion and that and a face for radio will earn you $1000 in three days dj'ing at the strip club.
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