The Bret Hart scale...Let's rate random wrestlers.

[Warner2BruceTD]

LUGER

9
2
3

14

He could be carried to a decent match, but if he was in with another stiff, oh boy.

[dave]

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YkjRz1fQGg0[/ame]

The Honky Tonk Man

Physical Appearance / Look / Character - 9/10
No, he wasn't an adonis. No, he wasn't wowing teenage girls, but The Honky Tonk Man looked like his character to a tee. He was, in his words, "The Complete Entertainment Package."

Ability to Talk/Sell Yourself - 9/10
He had me convinced he was the greatest Intercontinental Champion of all-time ... even if he wasn't. HTM could sell sand in a desert.

In-Ring Work - 5/10
His Intercontinental match with The Ultimate Warrior was a classic. I cut HTM some slack on his in-ring work because the man was (and is) just so damn entertaining.

23/30

[EmpireWF]

Terry Funk

Physical Appearance / Look / Character - 8/10
Terry didn't have a very distinct look but holy shit was he able to portray being a legit crazy ass-kicking Texan like few others.

Ability to Talk/Sell Yourself - 10/10
He could talk up a storm no matter where he was or who he was feuding with. One of the best.

In-Ring Work - 8/10
I haven't seen much of his early work (70s, early 80s) but even as an old man in the late 80s and 90s, he was as effective as any other. His stuff in Japan is a legend unto itself. Plus, he was originally known as a technical worker and developed into a hardcore guy later in his career. No matter the style, he was great.

26/30

[Bigpapa42]

Funk's early stuff is strong. I love some of his Japan work in the late 70s and early 80s, which I think is mostly from All Japan. Some really good tag work with Dory.

[Warner2BruceTD]

Powers Of Pain

Look: 9. Or, 0. You can really go two ways here. Obviously these guys are fucking monsters and look the part. The Warlord was one of the largest human beings i've ever seen in real life, and The Barbarian looked like he would legit eat you. In fact, I refuse to accept that he is a real person who lives in a house, and can speak, and takes his wife to dinner at Olive Garden, and watches football on Sunday, and beats off in the shower. No. He is a wild savage beast who lives in the woods and will eat you.

But I can also give them a ZERO for being one of many blatant Road Warrior rip off acts from the 80's. In a vacuum though, it's a 9.

Promo: 0. Has to be the goose egg. The Barbarian never spoke. The closest he came was when Harley Race turned on him on WCW Saturday Night, and he screamed "what! Noooo!!" before being jumped by like 6 guys:

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Bf29vg5g4M&feature=player_detailpage[/ame]

Work: I will split this up, because ranking them together would be very insulting to The Barbarian.

The Barbarian: 6
The Warlord: -100

The Barbarian was a passable worker in the Powers of Pain Days, who gradually improved and was pretty underrated in the 90's. I always enjoyed his work.

The Warlord, on the other hand, was the dirt worst. THE. DIRT. WORST. He could barely walk, and then when the tag team split up, he actually got bigger, and was even more immobile. The man was so large, i'm convinced he couldnt touch his hips with his hands. He never bumped. His moveset consisted of shoulder blocks, double axe handles to the back, and body slams. Easily one of the worst wrestlers i've ever seen who received a semblance of a push. Words can not describe how bad The Warlord was. He was so bad, he was awesome. His matches were must see affairs due to his complete and total lack of ability to do anything besides stand there and be really big.

Total Score:
Barbarian: 15 or 6
Warlord: -100 or -91

[Bigpapa42]

I would give bonus points to Barbarian for the simple fact that when I watch Randy Orton go through a slow motion match in the E, his style actually reminds me of watching the Barbarian. That is not a compliment to Orton. At all.

[EmpireWF]

I remember hearing (I think from one of Heenan's shoots) that Barbarian's wife was this big woman who controlled him to whatever degree. Something to that effect, it's been awhile.

[LiquidLarry2GhostWF]

I now know exactly where Vince McMahon ripped off his "YER FAAAAAAAIRED" gimmick from.

And Barbarian going "NOOOOOOO" is fantastic.

[LiquidLarry2GhostWF]

John Cena
Doctor of Thuganomics

Physical Appearance / Look / Character - 9/10. The very definition of main event babyface by look alone. Clean cut and ripped to shreds. Kind of generic, though.
Ability to Talk/Sell Yourself - 6/10. When he was the Dr. of Thuganomics, his ability to promo was really fresh...now he's a face, and has been a face for a long time and his promo ability is just downright corny. He does deliver a strong "fired up and ticked off face" promo though.
In-Ring Work - 6/10. I gave Hogan a 5.5 and Cena, while similar to Hogan in regards to formula driven style, is better overall than Hogan in the ring. Cena has no problem putting people over and can have a really strong match when called upon (John Cena's # of 5-star matches now > all but maybe 7 guys in North America lol) and has dragged entertaining matches out of some complete stiffs. One thing is for certain, he isn't lazy in the ring. Typically not my cup of tea, but credit where credit is due, he isn't the shits, but he's not great either by any means and most of the time, a Cena match is background noise.

TOTAL - 21/30

when thinking about it, Cena is a lot like a young Sting. Very similar actually.

[FirstTimer]

No Tatanka yet?

[dave]

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrfYq1AqQAg[/ame]

Tatanka (The Artist Formerly Known As Chris Chavis)

Physical Appearance / Look / Character - 7/10
He looked his gimmick, but could have been in better shape.

Ability to Talk/Sell Yourself - 4/10
Was neither horrible, nor memorable.

In-Ring Work - 5/10
Had his fair share of decent upper mid-card matches, but again, nothing memorable.

At the end of the day, Tatanka was a decent mid-carder with a solid gimmick.

TOTAL - 16/30

[FedEx227]

Tatanka (BUFFALO!)

[Warner2BruceTD]

Rememeber when they brought Tatanka back a few years ago, and he was really fat and creepy looking?

He should have been a heel who held a grudge against the pale skins who stole his land and ruined his heritage. He could have been real creepy about it, using ancient war cries, and "scalping" jobbers like Eugene and Rob Conway by cutting off their hair. When it ran its course, they could have transitioned him into an indian casino beneficiary, with a suit wearing JBL/ADR type role...with flaming red mohawk, of course.

Instead, he was a fat jobber with an 80's gimmick.

[LiquidLarry2GhostWF]

I think you could have really been on to something with Tatanka there, Isaac Bruce guy.

[EmpireWF]

lol

I typed 'fat Tatanka smackdown' into Google's image search and the #2 pic that came up was:

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