KG goes on a Nerd Rage

[killgod]

I don't care if you are 'good' or 'bad', I really don't, lack of basic hockey thinking however....not acceptable for me. Call me an arrogant fuck, I don't care.

Hockey is full of mistakes, shit happens and I expect it, I make plenty of mistakes myself.

But making stupid fuckin decisions time after time after time.....seriously? Have you never seen a hockey game before to understand why what you are doing ISN'T FUCKING WORKING?


If your team is in possession of the puck and you aren't in an open passing lane or attempting to get open, YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG. (it's easy to bitch at a guy for loosing the puck, but if he has nowhere to go with it you are blaming the wrong person)

If you are always passing up, YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG. (turnovers lead to goals against, KEEP POSSESSION, YOU ARE NOT IN A RACE TO GET DOWN THE ICE. STOP FORCING PASSES TO COVERED TEAMMATES, USE THE WHOLE ICE SURFACE)

If you are simply skating UP ICE rather than into OPEN SPACE when your team is in possesion, YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG (make yourself a target, as big as you can be)

If you have an open shot with traffic in front and you choose to force a pass, YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG (you can't score if you don't shoot)

If you do not pass back to the point, ever, YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG (how many times have I seen forwards shoot down the boards, 3 defenders race over to crush you and you ignore the wide open point man who can then set up the other 3 UNCOVERED guys on the other side of the ice)

If your teammate is closet to the loose puck but you skate over there anyways, YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG (what the fuck are you gonna do with the puck and 2 guys standing on top of each other? make yourself useful and get fucking open, I'll get you the puck, don't worry you impatient bastards)

If the only time you pass horizontally is when attempting a cross crease pass, YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG (nuff said about one dimensional passing)

If you always shoot the instant you get the puck within 10 feet of the goalie, YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG (make a deke, look for a pass, you can do these things in the slot too. )

If you DO NOT use the BOARD PLAY feature, YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG (tie them up, allow your teammates to help you. bouncing off a check merely causes an odd man rush. this isn't 09, you can't hammer everyone anymore.)

If your player is CONSTANTLY MOVING, YOU ARE DONG IT WRONG (you are probably out of position, leaving your man wide open and usually end up going the wrong way after a turnover since you are under NO CONTROL)

If your idea of picking up a loose puck is mashing the poke check button, YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG (seriously, just hold LT and move your stick onto the puck, it's that simple)

If your teammate is SITTING ALL ALONE IN THE MOTHER FUCKING SLOT AND YOU DECIDE TO CHARGE IN AND CRASH THE NET RATHER THAN TAKING THE EASY FUCKING TAP IN. YOU ARE FUCKING DOING IT WRONG YOU GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKER. (I could have killed whoever chose to do this tonight. I was literally picking my fucking ass standing there all alone. I could have scored blindfolded. My grandmother could have tapped it in. Just pass the fucking puck, ignore the "MUST SHOOT WITHIN 10 FEET RULE" we already nixxed that.)

Lastly, if you take a penalty after the whistle, YOU ARE A CUNT (but I appreciate the effort)


Play with your team and your team will play back.

You cannot win in OTP IF YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG.


Moral of the Nerd Rage:

All I ask, is that when you make a turnover, miss a pass, shoot..but don't score, miss your man, etc. You ask yourself what the fuck could you have done so that the play would have ended up with a better result. There's always another option on every play, just be aware of what they are and you won't end up repeating mistakes all game long.

Thank You I'm done.

-The angry eskimo

 

[mfbmike]

Tell us how you REALLY feel.

 

[killgod]

Tell us how you REALLY feel.

Fuck that. It's a secret.

 

[killgod]

for the record. i'm not immune to anything listed above and not suggesting I am.

tonight I played in 4 games without a goal by the team, multiple periods with NO SHOTS and most games less than 10 total shots on goal.

everyone has to understand what's going on to figure out why we are playing poorly, so I'm pointing out these common repeated tendencies that NHL players have

 

[leaffan]

Well what did I miss tonight?

 

[SHOGUN]

Great post. I haven't played online as a team yet, but the tips alone already give me an idea on how to improve in regular play.

 

[Boss AZ]

True story on just about everything you posted. I'm also not immune to most of them but follow those simple rules and you will have success.

 

[Ravin]

Just because if I don't post this KG would think less of me.

:youmad:

 

[Krebs]

right on killgod

 

[Herm]

this mfer has me scared to jump online and play some OTP with the ps3 guys, im just a dumb American forgive me


I couldve made a list like this for the nba 2k teamup feature as well.

 

[killgod]

Just because if I don't post this KG would think less of me.

:youmad:

You got that right.

this mfer has me scared to jump online and play some OTP with the ps3 guys, im just a dumb American forgive me


I couldve made a list like this for the nba 2k teamup feature as well.

lol. don't be. we're just way competitive in our lil team and I can't stand people who can't recognize their own fail.



half the games I played last night I was on D and the following kept happening

-I'd pass up to the open winger
-Winger would skate into offensive zone
-2 forwards and 1 defence (all user) of the opposition would come flying over to attack putting them completely out of position by playing peewee fucking hockey.
-winger would try and race into the corner, get smashed and lose the puck.

This happened over.....and over......and over.

Why not drop back to the point? Either side.....where your WIDE OPEN teammates are entering the play. What doesn't register in your head when you are attacked by 3 players? Clearly 2 of your teammates are now uncovered, so you need to get rid of the puck the second they collapse on you. It's not rocket science, it's basic math!

Why not dump it around the boards and let your other winger set up some board play down low?

Why continue to lose the puck and not identify the fundamental defensive failure by the other team.


Almost every team we've played so far plays this over pursing defence but because my own forwards are too god damn selfish and impatient to pass the puck in any direction that's not towards the net, they end up losing the puck as soon as they enter the zone.

It's fucking absurd.

Nobody would bother to try and SET UP on offence and this lead to massive amounts of fail on the attack and constant turnovers.


It's the same in the defensive zone. set up and don't race away once your team touches the puck, Support each other up the god damn ice. Nobody can get you the damn puck if you have 3 defenders inbetween you and the puck carrier. Get fucking open!

:guns:

I've wanted to spaz like this since NHL 09 release.

 

[Ravin]

I'm going to add onto this because there is some other things people should really know/hear.

I want to echo the shooting on net thing. Don Cherry said, "put the puck on net and anything can happen". BUT don't take worthless shots that are never going in. Take a second, set something up, or at least take a good shot. I see so many people who get the puck and need to fire on net while someone else is streaking or could have a better chance. I am guilt of this, as is everyone, but when you do it over and over, well it pisses me off.

The main thing I want to add is, guys need to LEARN and KNOW your role on your team. Every player in the NHL know's what their job is and what they need to do and the same goes for BAP/OTP/EASHL. Are you a playmaker, grinder, sniper and do you actually play your role? Some people just need to accept they are not goal scorer's but they help the team in so many other ways. I'll use me and leaf as an example.

I take a shit load of shots. I'm a sniper/goal scorer, that is my job.
Leaf doesn't take many shots. He's a ginder, that is his job.

So instead of me wasting my time going into the corner (unless no one else is around) leaf goes in, takes the hit, plays the man and I find a space to get open. I basically am waiting for the puck so I can get off a shot. I help him if needed, but you have to anticipate what is going to happen. Leaf doesn't score, and has said often "I can't score to save my life" so he plays another role our team needs. I've played 17 games, leaf has played 8. He has more hits then I do. That is a role that isn't glorious, but it gets something done.

I have the most goals on our team. I will say very few are a 'one man effort' but rather the result of our team playing proper. And I know full well that I am only as good as the people around me are. First day of NHL, I had nothing but A's, and my lowest grade was like a B. Last night I couldn't get a B to save my life. And I also went games without a goal, and I wasn't used for what my player and I am designed/capable for.

Point is, if you're not playing your role, you are not playing as a team. I think the best example is wr50l. This guy gets no glory what so ever when on the ice, gets very few points and hardly makes the three stars. Yet I have been on this guy to leave his team to play for us because he is probably the best defencemen on VSN. He is a defensive defencemen and he plays that role perfectly. Sure he can shoot and score, but he knows his role is to stop any rush, and watch for the fast break and cherry pickers. He helps the team more by doing this then by scoring a goal in a game.


So yeah, just learn your position and your role on the team. You can't do it all and remember if you are fucking off, then you are basically fucking your team.

 

[wr50l]

If you are trying to call people out but not using names YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG

Bring drama mfer

 

[Lanteri]

This posts pretty much sums up the awfulness that is random OTP games.

I need a team so bad.

 

[Boucher]

That was beautiful if only the leafs could play like that

 

[Tengo Juego]

Remembering these notes for when I start playing. Whenever the fuckin mailman gets here :smh:

 

[leaffan]

Just played some random OTP games and lol they are bad. Everyone is chasing the puck like a bunch of timbit players. Its horrible.

 

[Yawkey Way]

<3 kg

 

[RKO BLACK RKO]

For this man

 

[wr50l]

What Killgod would say if he couldn't type words