This week we passed what is known as the quarter pole (well only known to the GBU crew, who ever that is...) and while we wait on the first edition of the GBU power rankings it seems that Steeljake still insists on writing this Good and Ugly junk. So, since I still haven't been paid, here is you're host, Steejake...
<And all the people rejoiced ... yah>
Hmmm, maybe I should pay that announcer guy at some point... no matter, on with the show...
A quarter if the season is gone and it's safe to say that there are more than a few teams already wishing it was next year. The usual suspects, Oakland, Cleveland and Detroit, have been joined by Tampa, St. Louis, and the Chiefs not surprisingly have joined them this year. The real shocker is that Carolina and Tennessee are also in the same boat and the water is rising fast. Both of these teams won their divisions last year, and the Titans have surpassed their loss total from last season while the Panthers need just one more loss to tie their previous mark. When the Browns went from 10-6 to 4-12 no one batted an eye, this however is cause for concern. Oh wait, I have word that Carolina has indeed lost to the bye week, the score was 35-2, Jake threw 9 picks and lost 11 fumbles, but they did score a safety when the bye week took pity on them and just took a knee in their own end zone at the end of the game.
The Phins were the only team able to get out of the winless section this week, but the Bucs and Browns at least tried to get off the snide while the Rams and Titans might as well of just stayed home. Favre exercised his demons, both Manning’s stayed unblemished, the Pats whine and got lucky, the Broncos proved themselves and the Steelers remembered how to run the ball. We have players calling out players, analyst who wish they were still players calling out players, and coordinators setting up their players to fail. There is more than enough meat to go around, no one goes hungry this week people... Let's eat!!!
- The Chicago Bears (3-1)
OK, I admit when Jay Cutler threw 4 picks against the Packers in week 1 I left this team for dead. 3 wins and just 1 pick to 7 td's later, I am here to eat crow, for now. You play who the schedule says and it did take a second half rally to beat the Lions, and your D gave up 296 passing to Matt Stafford, but a win is a win.
- The Cincinnati Bengals (3-1)
This team tried so hard to let the Browns win, but the Bungles can't seem to beat the Bengals to the stadium. The biggest change on this team is not a healthy Palmer or a happy 85, it is a defense that can actually play. Marvin Lewis should be giving Mike Zimmer a piece of his salary right now for saving his job. The numbers aren't great, 26th and 14th against the pass and run respectively, but the D is keeping them in games and if you can just hang around long enough, you can win a few games. They face an angry Ravens team on the road next week so reality may not be far away.
- The Indianapolis Peyton Manning's (4-0)
A Colts fan over at VSN commented on last week's GBU and this is what he had to say...
While he is correct, to a point, I asked my buddy about this Peyton and this is what he had to say...
Dear Killa,
While Mr. Polian did indeed draft me and all of my teammates, until he puts on a jersey and gets to stare down 250 pound monsters who want nothing more than to kill him then this team will be named the Indianapolis Peyton Manning's.
Signed,
#18
P.S. Tell that bum Nick Harper that I'm coming for him next, he can just call Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie if he needs a preview.
P.P.S. Thanks for your support there buddy, way to be a fan.
- The Jacksonville Jaguars (2-2)
OK, I sort of got this one wrong as well. To be fair, the Titans secondary is filled with special teams rejects and an old washed up Steeler, but Mr. Garrard did go 27/37 for 323 yards, 3 td's and no int's. A win is a win and 300 yard passing day with no picks is always a positive thing, so for this week anyway, good on ya Jacksonville and don't go letting the Seahawks beat you next week.
- The New York Football Giants (4-0)
Ho-hum, another week another win against a team in rebuild mode. Who made this schedule? The first two teams they played are currently clinging to a .500 record and the last two have a goose egg in the win column, and just so to be sure that easy street isn't too short, Oakland comes to the Meadowlands next week. But, like we always say here at the GBU, you play who the schedule says and good teams will win the games they are supposed to. The G-men have all but forgotten Plaxico with the emergence of Steve Smith (no, not the one who punched that dude in the face, this one is actually grown up, both in mentality and size) who currently leads the league in receptions, yards and touch downs. I also have it on good authority that he does not own a gun. Oh, and that defense is none too shabby as well.
- The New England Patriots (3-1)
See, I told you idiot Bostonians that it wasn't time to panic. The luck of the Irish was indeed with Tammy did-you-see-that-guy-dive-at-me-throw-the-flag! Brady (more on the skirt wearing QB later) and the great hooded Bellicheat, but 3-1 and tied with the Jets for the division lead is not a bad place to be after 4 games.
- The New Orleans Saints (4-0)
OK, let me get this straight...
Brees comes out of the gate and looks like the MVP of the NFL in the first two weeks so teams scheme for him and the running game steps up in week 3. The offense runs into the wall known as Gang Green and their defense wins the game?!?!? Their Defense? When did they get a defense in the French Quarter? Drew has now gone 2 weeks without throwing a touch down and this team is still undefeated. I hate to say this so early, but this looks like the most complete team in the NFL right now. It’s not like teams haven’t started great and fizzled down the stretch before... oh wait...
- The Denver Broncos (4-0)
Everyone said they haven't played anyone and that Dallas would bring them back to Earth... well, everyone, except for me, was wrong. The Broncos have added a defense that can hold teams to less than 7 points a game (6.5 to be exact) and I don't care how bad your offense is you can win games. Champ Bailey and his new BFF Brian Dawkins lead the 3rd ranked pass defense and some dude name Elvis Dumervil (his is from some place called Louisville, go figure) is helping to anchor the 5th ranked rush defense. Mike Nolan may not have been a great head coach, but defense he knows. They say winning cures all that ails and as proof I give you Brandon Marshall hugging Josh McDaniels. The Broncos get to go right on proving themselves as they welcome in the Patriots next week; I wonder whose hoodie will win the battle for who can get washed least?
- The San Francisco 49ers (3-1)
From a tough loss to an easy win, this team just keeps on rolling. The NFC Worst is not completely locked down just yet, but it might as well be. Mike Singletary has his players drinking the water he is pouring and it doesn't look to slow down now. As I said before, good teams win the games they're supposed to and this team did exactly that this week. They face the Falcons next and at some point the lack of a passing game might hurt them, but it is funny how far heart can actually take you.
- The Pittsburgh Steelers (2-2)
While I am mortified that the Chargers made a game out of what should have been a blow out, my wife has asked me to try to focus on the positive, so here goes nothing...
Holy smokes, the Pittsburgh Steelers finally found a team that has such a horridly overrated defense that even their offensive line can push them around. Second year man Rashard Mendenhall was made to look like the second coming of Franco and we can only hope this doesn't go to the kid's head. Jeff Reed was called on late to make a game sealing field goal and much to the surprise of Steeler Nation, shank-a-potomous actually hit one squarely. No one could cover Antonio Gates, but at least James Harrison got his hands on the quarterback this week. The next two weeks have the Steelers playing at Detroit and then they welcome the Browns to Heinz Field. I would normally say these games were locks, but until Troy gets back and the passing game isn't the best part of the offense nothing is certain.
See honey, positive... :thumbsup:
- The Minnesota Favre's (4-0)
He admitted it was a revenge game and then he went out and stuck it to 'em. Well, sort of... What Brett needs to be doing today is taking Jarred Allen out and buy him a new car, a house, a new bow to hunt with or just whatever he wants. Thanks to him Aaron Rodgers will be spending most of today in a hot tub and on the massage table. Favre did this great start thing last year and for now he can bask in the glory of a week 4 win, but I personally reserve judgment until at least early December.
And now for a musical break whilst I go and grab a refreshment... Hit it boys!!!
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0XLKcMoXRE"]YouTube - Van Halen - Hot For Teacher[/ame]
Now back to our regularly scheduled tom-foolery...
- The Cleveland Browns (0-4)
This is actually one step higher than they normally are and that is thanks to them having a chance to win this last week. That is until they let the speedy Carson Palmer run 12 yards on a 4th down with less than 2 minutes to go in OT. Oh well, can't win em all right? Although just one or two would be a step in the right direction. Don’t get me wrong people, there is no such thing as a moral victory in pro sports, but this is as close as anyone will ever get. Mangini has been given the kiss of death so to speak as management declared it 'preposterous' that he would be on the hot seat. I know this just makes the fans and players want to get up and dance...
- The Baltimore Ravens (3-1)
A short message to Mark Clayton from ESPN's Cris Carter...
"Wide receivers catch the ball, it's what they do."
Also, Mr. Ngata, please find a way to stop your 300 plus pound body on a dime when you're at full speed. I know the laws of physics won't allow this, but the rules of the NFL say you have to, and we all know they can never be wrong. That is all.
- The Buffallo Bills (1-3)
Well let's see... Miami was oh-fer and their starting quarter back is out for the year, a chance to keep a rival on the snide? Oops, the game had to be played after all. That ticking sound is Terrel Owens approaching melt down status. What I don't get is this team put in the no huddle and then fired the guy who installed it... why are they still running it? It is not like it is working or anything.
- The San Diego Chargers (2-2)
So you have Merriman back and all should be well right? Wrong. Despite Rivera's best impression of Rex Ryan his defense allowed the worst offensive line in all of football push them around all night. Quinton Jammer, who is supposed to be some kind of good player and his partner Antonio Cromartie couldn't even find Hines Ward and if not for Antonio Gates being in beast mode this game would have be ugly. Norv has to be fired, the problem is that A.J. Smith chose him over Marty Schottenheimer, who was 14-2 at the time, and if he admits that Norv is the idiot we all know he is he will need to be fired himself. Dean Spanos has a franchise quarter back and a decent core on both sides of the ball, maybe it is time to fire Smith and Turner and let Shanahan have a shot at revenge.
- The Green Bay Packers (2-2)
Hey Ted Thomson....
Favre says hi... Oh, and your offensive line sucks.
Love ya mean it,
Jared Allen.
And now a word from our sponsor, Ms. Purdie's School for QB's…
Ms. Purdie: Are you playing quarter back in the NFL and those big bad ol'e defenders keep trying to hit you? Well don't fret sweet um's, we can teach you how to keep those big meanies away from you in no time flat. We can show you how to take a dive that would make Vladi Divac proud and also how to whine loud enough while still having a mouth piece in. Just listen to our most recent graduate and success story...
Tom Brady <enters in a pretty pink skirt and tube top... try not to get sick>: Ms. Purdie has sure helped me. Just this last week I cried my pretty little eyes out when someone had the nerve to fail to stop themselves from falling down, in a football game no less. I used the patented turn and flail your arms method and I got the flag. Why bother converting 3rd downs when you can just whine your way to a first down?
Ms. Purdie: That's right Tammy, I mean Tommy, we guarantee that we can turn you into a preening fairy clamoring for roughing calls in just two weeks, or your money back. Just call 1-800-I-wish-I-could-just-wear-a-dress-in-public and for $19.95 plus processing, we will send you a 2 DVD set that will have you on the way to losing your manhood in no time flat.
OK boys and girls, it's time to cut the nice machine off and get down to what we all came here for today. It's time to call out the teams and players that won't even lose 2 seconds of sleep over it, but at least it will be funny... maybe. Here it is folks...
- The Oakland Raiders (1-3)
6 points. Yup, that’s all they could get this week, 6. What's even better is that after giving up a safety on an outside run from the end zone, the Raiders then allowed a 95 yard touch down return on the ensuing free kick. Russell went 12-33, he is now at 40% for the season and now Tom Cable may be headed to prison. The upside? At least there will be Raiders fans in the joint, Tom just better hope they don't blame him for their team sucking. I think I heard Al coughing... oh, sorry it was just the wind.
- The Tennessee Titans (0-4)
Last year this team lost 3 games all season, this year they have 4 losses in 4 tries. They can't stop the run, they can't stop the pass and Kerry Collins couldn't hit water if he was throwing out of a boat. The cries for V.Y. will only get louder and while I know first hand how Titans fans feel about him, they need to see what they have so they can decide who to take with their top 5 pick this year. Good news, the Colts are on fiah and they are next on the schedule, losing this game won't be a shocker, but it will be sad. Nick Harper should break his own leg to avoid getting beaten like he stole something... again.
- The Dallas Cowboys (2-2)
(With apologies to the ESPN Countdown Crew)
Lemme get this straight...
You’re inside the 5, you need a touch down to tie, and you have the best running game in all of football. The running back's name is Marion 'The Barbarian' Barber. The play call is a slant to a number four wide out covered by this guy named Champ Bailey? Not only that, but you waste 13 seconds getting set up to spike it? Come on man!!!!!!
I just received this email sent to the GBU from Champ Bailey, addressed to Romo and Garrett, I wonder what it says...
Dear Chumps,
Thanks for helping me grow the legend last Sunday. I was sure after the 3 passes I knocked down, one on the previous play, and the interception I got from that bum Romo there was no way you would throw at me again. But here comes some dude named Hurd and the ball is coming right for him. I almost missed it because I was sure it was a mirage. When I go to the Hall of Fame I will be sure to thank you both.
P.S. You need to give back your paycheck from last week, if you took it it would be called larceny.
Your friend and benefactor;
Champ.
- The St. Louis Rams (0-4)
This will be short...
2nd shut out this year and this team has scored a grand total of 24 points all year. I don't have anything else to say but you suck. This team could be worse than last years Lions, seriously. If they go 0-16, Spags is one and done. The End.
That’s all I have time for this week. All comments Good, Bad and Ugly are welcome and can be sent here. You can also sign up for an email copy to be sent to you the moment that the GBU is published. As always, please remember that this is only my opinion and that and $300.00 will get you the NFL Sunday ticket so you don't have to sit through the Titans getting waxed by the Jags and your only other option is the snooze fest that was the Bucs playing the Skins. Look for the Game(s) of the Week feature which comes out on Thursday's and tune in next week when we will hear Jason Garret say:
"Running game? What's that?"
<And all the people rejoiced ... yah>
Hmmm, maybe I should pay that announcer guy at some point... no matter, on with the show...
A quarter if the season is gone and it's safe to say that there are more than a few teams already wishing it was next year. The usual suspects, Oakland, Cleveland and Detroit, have been joined by Tampa, St. Louis, and the Chiefs not surprisingly have joined them this year. The real shocker is that Carolina and Tennessee are also in the same boat and the water is rising fast. Both of these teams won their divisions last year, and the Titans have surpassed their loss total from last season while the Panthers need just one more loss to tie their previous mark. When the Browns went from 10-6 to 4-12 no one batted an eye, this however is cause for concern. Oh wait, I have word that Carolina has indeed lost to the bye week, the score was 35-2, Jake threw 9 picks and lost 11 fumbles, but they did score a safety when the bye week took pity on them and just took a knee in their own end zone at the end of the game.
The Phins were the only team able to get out of the winless section this week, but the Bucs and Browns at least tried to get off the snide while the Rams and Titans might as well of just stayed home. Favre exercised his demons, both Manning’s stayed unblemished, the Pats whine and got lucky, the Broncos proved themselves and the Steelers remembered how to run the ball. We have players calling out players, analyst who wish they were still players calling out players, and coordinators setting up their players to fail. There is more than enough meat to go around, no one goes hungry this week people... Let's eat!!!
The Good
- The Chicago Bears (3-1)
OK, I admit when Jay Cutler threw 4 picks against the Packers in week 1 I left this team for dead. 3 wins and just 1 pick to 7 td's later, I am here to eat crow, for now. You play who the schedule says and it did take a second half rally to beat the Lions, and your D gave up 296 passing to Matt Stafford, but a win is a win.
- The Cincinnati Bengals (3-1)
This team tried so hard to let the Browns win, but the Bungles can't seem to beat the Bengals to the stadium. The biggest change on this team is not a healthy Palmer or a happy 85, it is a defense that can actually play. Marvin Lewis should be giving Mike Zimmer a piece of his salary right now for saving his job. The numbers aren't great, 26th and 14th against the pass and run respectively, but the D is keeping them in games and if you can just hang around long enough, you can win a few games. They face an angry Ravens team on the road next week so reality may not be far away.
- The Indianapolis Peyton Manning's (4-0)
A Colts fan over at VSN commented on last week's GBU and this is what he had to say...
I wish people would stop calling the Colts the "Indianapolis Manning’s" if anything call them the "Indianapolis Polian’s" it's ridiculous how he never misses when drafting an offensive player. Other than Hank Baskett who hasn't even played, every player on the Colts offense was either drafted by him or signed as an un-drafted free agent. No other GM in the league can say that.
While he is correct, to a point, I asked my buddy about this Peyton and this is what he had to say...
Dear Killa,
While Mr. Polian did indeed draft me and all of my teammates, until he puts on a jersey and gets to stare down 250 pound monsters who want nothing more than to kill him then this team will be named the Indianapolis Peyton Manning's.
Signed,
#18
P.S. Tell that bum Nick Harper that I'm coming for him next, he can just call Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie if he needs a preview.
P.P.S. Thanks for your support there buddy, way to be a fan.
- The Jacksonville Jaguars (2-2)
OK, I sort of got this one wrong as well. To be fair, the Titans secondary is filled with special teams rejects and an old washed up Steeler, but Mr. Garrard did go 27/37 for 323 yards, 3 td's and no int's. A win is a win and 300 yard passing day with no picks is always a positive thing, so for this week anyway, good on ya Jacksonville and don't go letting the Seahawks beat you next week.
- The New York Football Giants (4-0)
Ho-hum, another week another win against a team in rebuild mode. Who made this schedule? The first two teams they played are currently clinging to a .500 record and the last two have a goose egg in the win column, and just so to be sure that easy street isn't too short, Oakland comes to the Meadowlands next week. But, like we always say here at the GBU, you play who the schedule says and good teams will win the games they are supposed to. The G-men have all but forgotten Plaxico with the emergence of Steve Smith (no, not the one who punched that dude in the face, this one is actually grown up, both in mentality and size) who currently leads the league in receptions, yards and touch downs. I also have it on good authority that he does not own a gun. Oh, and that defense is none too shabby as well.
- The New England Patriots (3-1)
See, I told you idiot Bostonians that it wasn't time to panic. The luck of the Irish was indeed with Tammy did-you-see-that-guy-dive-at-me-throw-the-flag! Brady (more on the skirt wearing QB later) and the great hooded Bellicheat, but 3-1 and tied with the Jets for the division lead is not a bad place to be after 4 games.
- The New Orleans Saints (4-0)
OK, let me get this straight...
Brees comes out of the gate and looks like the MVP of the NFL in the first two weeks so teams scheme for him and the running game steps up in week 3. The offense runs into the wall known as Gang Green and their defense wins the game?!?!? Their Defense? When did they get a defense in the French Quarter? Drew has now gone 2 weeks without throwing a touch down and this team is still undefeated. I hate to say this so early, but this looks like the most complete team in the NFL right now. It’s not like teams haven’t started great and fizzled down the stretch before... oh wait...
- The Denver Broncos (4-0)
Everyone said they haven't played anyone and that Dallas would bring them back to Earth... well, everyone, except for me, was wrong. The Broncos have added a defense that can hold teams to less than 7 points a game (6.5 to be exact) and I don't care how bad your offense is you can win games. Champ Bailey and his new BFF Brian Dawkins lead the 3rd ranked pass defense and some dude name Elvis Dumervil (his is from some place called Louisville, go figure) is helping to anchor the 5th ranked rush defense. Mike Nolan may not have been a great head coach, but defense he knows. They say winning cures all that ails and as proof I give you Brandon Marshall hugging Josh McDaniels. The Broncos get to go right on proving themselves as they welcome in the Patriots next week; I wonder whose hoodie will win the battle for who can get washed least?
- The San Francisco 49ers (3-1)
From a tough loss to an easy win, this team just keeps on rolling. The NFC Worst is not completely locked down just yet, but it might as well be. Mike Singletary has his players drinking the water he is pouring and it doesn't look to slow down now. As I said before, good teams win the games they're supposed to and this team did exactly that this week. They face the Falcons next and at some point the lack of a passing game might hurt them, but it is funny how far heart can actually take you.
- The Pittsburgh Steelers (2-2)
While I am mortified that the Chargers made a game out of what should have been a blow out, my wife has asked me to try to focus on the positive, so here goes nothing...
Holy smokes, the Pittsburgh Steelers finally found a team that has such a horridly overrated defense that even their offensive line can push them around. Second year man Rashard Mendenhall was made to look like the second coming of Franco and we can only hope this doesn't go to the kid's head. Jeff Reed was called on late to make a game sealing field goal and much to the surprise of Steeler Nation, shank-a-potomous actually hit one squarely. No one could cover Antonio Gates, but at least James Harrison got his hands on the quarterback this week. The next two weeks have the Steelers playing at Detroit and then they welcome the Browns to Heinz Field. I would normally say these games were locks, but until Troy gets back and the passing game isn't the best part of the offense nothing is certain.
See honey, positive... :thumbsup:
- The Minnesota Favre's (4-0)
He admitted it was a revenge game and then he went out and stuck it to 'em. Well, sort of... What Brett needs to be doing today is taking Jarred Allen out and buy him a new car, a house, a new bow to hunt with or just whatever he wants. Thanks to him Aaron Rodgers will be spending most of today in a hot tub and on the massage table. Favre did this great start thing last year and for now he can bask in the glory of a week 4 win, but I personally reserve judgment until at least early December.
And now for a musical break whilst I go and grab a refreshment... Hit it boys!!!
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0XLKcMoXRE"]YouTube - Van Halen - Hot For Teacher[/ame]
Now back to our regularly scheduled tom-foolery...
The Bad
- The Cleveland Browns (0-4)
This is actually one step higher than they normally are and that is thanks to them having a chance to win this last week. That is until they let the speedy Carson Palmer run 12 yards on a 4th down with less than 2 minutes to go in OT. Oh well, can't win em all right? Although just one or two would be a step in the right direction. Don’t get me wrong people, there is no such thing as a moral victory in pro sports, but this is as close as anyone will ever get. Mangini has been given the kiss of death so to speak as management declared it 'preposterous' that he would be on the hot seat. I know this just makes the fans and players want to get up and dance...
- The Baltimore Ravens (3-1)
A short message to Mark Clayton from ESPN's Cris Carter...
"Wide receivers catch the ball, it's what they do."
Also, Mr. Ngata, please find a way to stop your 300 plus pound body on a dime when you're at full speed. I know the laws of physics won't allow this, but the rules of the NFL say you have to, and we all know they can never be wrong. That is all.
- The Buffallo Bills (1-3)
Well let's see... Miami was oh-fer and their starting quarter back is out for the year, a chance to keep a rival on the snide? Oops, the game had to be played after all. That ticking sound is Terrel Owens approaching melt down status. What I don't get is this team put in the no huddle and then fired the guy who installed it... why are they still running it? It is not like it is working or anything.
- The San Diego Chargers (2-2)
So you have Merriman back and all should be well right? Wrong. Despite Rivera's best impression of Rex Ryan his defense allowed the worst offensive line in all of football push them around all night. Quinton Jammer, who is supposed to be some kind of good player and his partner Antonio Cromartie couldn't even find Hines Ward and if not for Antonio Gates being in beast mode this game would have be ugly. Norv has to be fired, the problem is that A.J. Smith chose him over Marty Schottenheimer, who was 14-2 at the time, and if he admits that Norv is the idiot we all know he is he will need to be fired himself. Dean Spanos has a franchise quarter back and a decent core on both sides of the ball, maybe it is time to fire Smith and Turner and let Shanahan have a shot at revenge.
- The Green Bay Packers (2-2)
Hey Ted Thomson....
Favre says hi... Oh, and your offensive line sucks.
Love ya mean it,
Jared Allen.
And now a word from our sponsor, Ms. Purdie's School for QB's…
Ms. Purdie: Are you playing quarter back in the NFL and those big bad ol'e defenders keep trying to hit you? Well don't fret sweet um's, we can teach you how to keep those big meanies away from you in no time flat. We can show you how to take a dive that would make Vladi Divac proud and also how to whine loud enough while still having a mouth piece in. Just listen to our most recent graduate and success story...
Tom Brady <enters in a pretty pink skirt and tube top... try not to get sick>: Ms. Purdie has sure helped me. Just this last week I cried my pretty little eyes out when someone had the nerve to fail to stop themselves from falling down, in a football game no less. I used the patented turn and flail your arms method and I got the flag. Why bother converting 3rd downs when you can just whine your way to a first down?
Ms. Purdie: That's right Tammy, I mean Tommy, we guarantee that we can turn you into a preening fairy clamoring for roughing calls in just two weeks, or your money back. Just call 1-800-I-wish-I-could-just-wear-a-dress-in-public and for $19.95 plus processing, we will send you a 2 DVD set that will have you on the way to losing your manhood in no time flat.
OK boys and girls, it's time to cut the nice machine off and get down to what we all came here for today. It's time to call out the teams and players that won't even lose 2 seconds of sleep over it, but at least it will be funny... maybe. Here it is folks...
The Ugly
- The Oakland Raiders (1-3)
6 points. Yup, that’s all they could get this week, 6. What's even better is that after giving up a safety on an outside run from the end zone, the Raiders then allowed a 95 yard touch down return on the ensuing free kick. Russell went 12-33, he is now at 40% for the season and now Tom Cable may be headed to prison. The upside? At least there will be Raiders fans in the joint, Tom just better hope they don't blame him for their team sucking. I think I heard Al coughing... oh, sorry it was just the wind.
- The Tennessee Titans (0-4)
Last year this team lost 3 games all season, this year they have 4 losses in 4 tries. They can't stop the run, they can't stop the pass and Kerry Collins couldn't hit water if he was throwing out of a boat. The cries for V.Y. will only get louder and while I know first hand how Titans fans feel about him, they need to see what they have so they can decide who to take with their top 5 pick this year. Good news, the Colts are on fiah and they are next on the schedule, losing this game won't be a shocker, but it will be sad. Nick Harper should break his own leg to avoid getting beaten like he stole something... again.
- The Dallas Cowboys (2-2)
(With apologies to the ESPN Countdown Crew)
Lemme get this straight...
You’re inside the 5, you need a touch down to tie, and you have the best running game in all of football. The running back's name is Marion 'The Barbarian' Barber. The play call is a slant to a number four wide out covered by this guy named Champ Bailey? Not only that, but you waste 13 seconds getting set up to spike it? Come on man!!!!!!
I just received this email sent to the GBU from Champ Bailey, addressed to Romo and Garrett, I wonder what it says...
Dear Chumps,
Thanks for helping me grow the legend last Sunday. I was sure after the 3 passes I knocked down, one on the previous play, and the interception I got from that bum Romo there was no way you would throw at me again. But here comes some dude named Hurd and the ball is coming right for him. I almost missed it because I was sure it was a mirage. When I go to the Hall of Fame I will be sure to thank you both.
P.S. You need to give back your paycheck from last week, if you took it it would be called larceny.
Your friend and benefactor;
Champ.
- The St. Louis Rams (0-4)
This will be short...
2nd shut out this year and this team has scored a grand total of 24 points all year. I don't have anything else to say but you suck. This team could be worse than last years Lions, seriously. If they go 0-16, Spags is one and done. The End.
That’s all I have time for this week. All comments Good, Bad and Ugly are welcome and can be sent here. You can also sign up for an email copy to be sent to you the moment that the GBU is published. As always, please remember that this is only my opinion and that and $300.00 will get you the NFL Sunday ticket so you don't have to sit through the Titans getting waxed by the Jags and your only other option is the snooze fest that was the Bucs playing the Skins. Look for the Game(s) of the Week feature which comes out on Thursday's and tune in next week when we will hear Jason Garret say:
"Running game? What's that?"