Catching Controversy | The Legend of Ethan Woy

[Shwayzed]

I just hate the bastard. Maybe Ethan can go overseas to be recruited in China for basketball, catch sars, and then go to a Penguins game (preferably against the Capitals) and give the whole place sars and they all die.


One can only hope though. But anywho, I'll be waiting for this update!

[Woy]

I just hate the bastard. Maybe Ethan can go overseas to be recruited in China for basketball, catch sars, and then go to a Penguins game (preferably against the Capitals) and give the whole place sars and they all die.


One can only hope though. But anywho, I'll be waiting for this update!

Shwayzed, you're "I'll find a way for Sidney Crosby to die" comments are what bring the lulz in this thread. Even as a big Penguins fan, I still gotta laugh.

Creative juices aren't flowing right now, so not sure if I'll have the update tonight.

[T.Dot]

So many chicks so little time, rofl

[G-men]

woy i like your style. fuck her and leave her...

[Woy]

So many chicks so little time, rofl

And yet they both play major roles in the main storyline. :D

I'm feeling the same way. I feel like falling asleep then waking up and writing one, but it's too late for that! Oh well, I guess it'll be a race then to see who can get their up first in the morning, lol ;)










- btw totally just kidding, we take our time with this, lol :D
again, good luck with next update Woy, lol

I feel like this a lot. For so many hours I can't think of shit to write about and then it'll hit me. And thanks.

woy i like your style. fuck her and leave her...

We'll see if Melyssa gets the same treatment.

Update coming now, I found some inspiration and energy to do the update.

[Woy]

More Fireworks Than I Expected

"Sexy, can I? Just pardon my manners, girl how you shake it, got a playa like oh! It's a Kodak moment, let me go and get my camera. All I wanna know is, sexy..."

My phone, which was right beside me, started to go off and I wasn't very happy about it. I was working on five hours of sleep and woke up angrily to Ray J's voice.

"Ugh, I'm not here! Call me some other time."

But yet my ringtone kept on going off, so I decided to get up and answer it.

"Hello?"

No answer, prank call perhaps?

"Hello?"

I looked down and saw that I had a text message, not a phone call. It was from Melyssa.

"hey cutie cant wait 4 tonite ;-)"

I smiled and fell back to sleep...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hey babe, what are you doing tonight?"

"Nothing that I know of - I don't have gamefilm to watch or anything."

"Wanna come over to watch a movie or something?"

"Yeah, definitely. I'm going to fill up the car, then I'll be there."

"Alright, sounds good. I love you."

I was filling up my car at the local Sheetz, and went in to pay. I went towards the back to grab a Mountain Dew and was shocked to see who else was back there.

"Ethan, is that you?"

"Rebecca? Wow, it's been awhile. What are you doing around here?"

"Visiting some family up north, just stopped here to get some stuff. What about you?"

"I'm playing college football."

"That's great! How have you been?"

"I've been great; football and classes take up most of my life but I finally think I found a girl to stay with. How about you? Still with that boyfriend of yours?"

"Oh, no. We broke that off about a month after you left. I've been alright, thinking mostly about stuff."

"About what?"

"About how I treated you that one day."

"It's alright, no need to apologize."

"No, you don't understand. I need you back in my life..."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Around four, I woke up and started to get ready. As I started the car and drove off, I couldn't help but remember doing the same type of stuff last year with Rebecca. It's crazy how a girl makes you think of the future, when she's really only been in your life for a few weeks.

I pulled in at Shelter Cove and made my way down the boardwalk. Hundreds of different sized boats filled the harbor - from your little sailboats to your hundred thousand dollar yachts - I want to have enough money to own one of those someday. I started looking for Melyssa and pulled out my phone to text her when I felt my phone vibrate.

"whered you get that money?"

Fuck, I thought Rebecca said she wanted out of my life.

"work. dont worry bout it"

I put my phone back in my pocket, only to pull it out to a much better text message a few seconds after.

"hey hot stuff, look 2 ur right ;-)"

Sure enough, I looked to my right and there she was. That gorgeous face on that model-like body got up from the table she was sitting at and started walking towards me.

"Wow, there's a lot of people here."

"Yeah. They got some huge fireworks display tonight; biggest they'll ever sit off I've heard. Hey, you wanna grab a bite to eat?"

"As long you show me the best place around here, and that I'm buying."

"Awh, what a sweetheart. Do you usually act that sweet around your girlfriends?"

"Haha, I guess you can say that. We'll talk about it over dinner."

She grabbed my wrist and then slid her hand down till both our hands were locked together. Eventually we made it to this fancy-looking place called San Miguels, a huge seafood joint on the harbor.

"Damn, it's gonna take us forever to get into here."

"No worries, I made reservations."

"Planning ahead, I like it."

The waiter sat us at our table and handed us our menus. After five minutes, he came back and took our orders.

"...and I'll have the crab legs, thank you. So what are you going to be? Junior? Senior?"

"Senior. I just don't know where yet."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Oh, well my family moves a lot and recently my dad got offered this job in the northeast."

"Oh I see, what does he do?"

"He owns a business, mainly opening restaurants and such."

"That's cool, did he tell you where?"

"No, I've asked him at least ten times and he won't tell me. Sucks cause I'm leaving so many friends and such here."

"Yeah I understand..."

Suddenly my phone started to vibrate again - another text from Rebecca.

"dont give me that bullshit. i know you dont make that type of money making tips"

"Who was that?"

"Oh, just this girl that won't let me alone."

"Just text her back and say that you're with someone much better now."

"Haha, I will."

"stay out of it, will ya?"

"You might know the girl."

"What's her name?"

"Rebecca."

"Oh my, yeah I know her. How'd you meet her?"

"Last year. I met her at a party and hung out with her the enitre week I was down here. She's pissed at me right now; it's a long story."

"Don't worry about it, she's a bitch anyways. You don't need to be talking to her now that you got me."

"Oh, so I got you now, huh?"

"We'll see boy."

She winked at me and we continued our conversation. Eventually our food came and went and after an hour of eating, we were still sitting there talking. I could tell that we were both falling for each other a little bit as we started leaning over the table more and more. I loved that little sparkle in her green eyes and that smile could light up any guy's world. I slowly closed my eyes and went in for a kiss...but she put her finger over my lips.

"Just wait. I got to show you something."

We walked out of the restaurant and down the boardwalk. After a little bit of walking, she got behind me and put her hands on my hips.

"Okay close your eyes, and let me direct you where we're going."

"Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise."

Five minutes later we stopped and she told me to open my eyes.

"Oh my God, that's amazing!"

It was this incredible, pearly white yacht that had the words "Washington and Jefferson" on it.

"This is my grandparents yacht - it's named after my grandfather's last name and my grandmother's maiden name. Edward Washington and Susan Jefferson."

"Oh wow, that's awesome. Are they on right now?"

"Nope, it'll just be you and me."

We made our way onto the yacht and I was equally impressed with the inside as I was the outside. We sat on the couch and looked out the window to watch the beautiful fireworks display. After the hour long show, she looked at me with a very seductive look.

"So did you like those fireworks?"

"Better than anything we have in Pennsylvania."

"We haven't even seen the grand finale yet."

"What do you mean?"

"Babe, we're gonna make our own fireworks."

She started rubbing my leg and moved in closer towards me. We started to make out and undo each others clothing, one article at a time. When she started to undo my pants, my phone fell out of my pocket and started vibrating. I obviously wasn't going to worry about it and kicked it under the couch to keep it from being a distraction.

"something is fishy about that money. im gonna find out whats up..."

[Justo]

i hope you didnt :jizz: inside of her to lol

[goDawgs1433]

^lol

Nice update Ethan

[Shwayzed]

Ok so, I've got it. The condom breaks inside of this bitch, she doesn't tell you and she births an evil little fucking Woy spawn. She comes to visit you in Penn with the baby, you take her to a hockey game.. the baby FUCKING JUMPS OUT OF HER HANDS ONTO THE ICE, DEVOURING SIDNEY CROSBY.

[Nash]

Ok so, I've got it. The condom breaks inside of this bitch, she doesn't tell you and she births an evil little fucking Woy spawn. She comes to visit you in Penn with the baby, you take her to a hockey game.. the baby FUCKING JUMPS OUT OF HER HANDS ONTO THE ICE, DEVOURING SIDNEY CROSBY.

lmao

[G-men]

so now woy has done it on land and water.

[Woy]

Damn Ethan. You fuck one girl, mess it up then move on to the next one. Outstanding update though. One of the best so far.

Thanks Saints, and I thought it was too. Definitely one of the most fun to write.

i hope you didnt :jizz: inside of her to lol

Lol, Mr. Woy was wearing a condom this time. ;)

^lol

Nice update Ethan

Thanks Foster.

Ok so, I've got it. The condom breaks inside of this bitch, she doesn't tell you and she births an evil little fucking Woy spawn. She comes to visit you in Penn with the baby, you take her to a hockey game.. the baby FUCKING JUMPS OUT OF HER HANDS ONTO THE ICE, DEVOURING SIDNEY CROSBY.

Again Shwayzed bringing the lulz.

lol at shwayzed said, good update man.

Thanks Melo.

Don't worry guys... he'll find a way to mess up both of the girls' lives...and his own ;) he's good at that, lol

lmao Shwayzed, very creative

as always, awesome stuff Woy :D

Lol you'll have to see, and thanks Ian.

so now woy has done it on land and water.

What can I say? You'd be on your knees too if you were around me. ;) Haha.

[G-men]

(thinking of a good response to Woy's last comment...be back tomorrow)

[Woy]

Showboating, Trash-talking, Confident Captain

The rest of the week down in Hilton Head went by way too fast. I was falling more and more for Melyssa, but tried to pull myself out of it because I wasn't going to see her after I left. The next year that I go down there, she will be living somewhere in the Northeast.

Once I got back to Everett, I had a week before football camp started, so I called took off another week at work. The manager is my third cousin, so he was fine with it. The week came me time to think, relax, and go out every night and live up the last days of summer. Once the next Monday morning came around, life was officially over.

"Welcome to camp fellas. We had a disappointing 2-8 season last year, but now that I look at it, that senior group didn't put forth the maximum effort in order to win ball games."

"No shit Coach, thanks for finally agreeing with me."

I muttered that under my breath as coach continued talking.

"Right now, before we get to the opening drills, I'd like to announce our captains for the year. Come up here when I announce your name. First up, Bradley Swindell."

Brad was our starting quarterback. For a pretty small frame - six foot, 175 pounds - he had a huge arm and could throw it 65-70 yards downfield consistently. This was a no-brainer; he's been a starter since our awful sophomore season in which we finished 0-10. I expect him to be playing at a Division one school next year.

"Next up, Cory Waltman."

Cory was the coaches' son, so another no-brainer. One of the best athletes from my class, he was our starting strong safety and played halfback and receiver on offense. In basketball, him and I were called the "Twin Towers" by a rival coach, mainly for our tall frames - we're both six foot three - and our shotblocking ability. Another player I see playing at a division one school.

"Next up, Bill Peterson."

This was one of our emotional leaders. He started at offensive tackle and defensive tackle, and despite being undersized - five foot nine, 230 pounds - he put out great effort and always got the job done. He throws some of the best parties as well, haha.

"And finally, Ethan Woy."

I was really surprised when Coach called my name. I guess he forgave me about the episode last year and the suspension. Right when he dismissed us for drills, he brought me to the side to talk.

"You know I shouldn't have done that, right?"

"Coach, I'm really surprised you did actually. But I promise, no fights with the team, no calling out other players, no showboat antics..."

"Woah, wait a minute! There isn't going to be a swagger to Mr. Woy's step this year? Bullshit. I want you playing with that confidence I saw all of last year. I want you getting into the faces of opponents and trash-talking them. As long as you don't hurt the team, play your game and lead us to the promised land."

"Thanks Coach, I won't let you down."

"I know you won't Ethan, now go to your drill station."

All I can say about this season is to get your popcorn ready...

[Woy]

Boooooooooooo, i dont eat popcorn :pet:

Well you better start. ;)

Ethan's gonna tear it up the field but fuck it up by doing somethin' in the offseason. Nice update.

Maybe, haha. Thanks.

Sorry for the update seeming short. I just needed to get that out of the way cause I'm working on a big update for later tonight. Should be a good one. ;)