Catching Controversy | The Legend of Ethan Woy

[Woy]

Damn good update Ethan.

Wonder what the next stats will be?

We'll have to see. Big rivalry game against WVU next.

great update man but im thinkin 12 catches, 150 yards and a TD next game

We'll see.

woy's in for a world of hurt. nice update

He might be, we'll see.

Rodney is starting to get greedy, which should backfire. Paulus can't perform well enough. Strike one for Ethan coming up.

Paulus needs to step his game up.

Great update Woy, keep em up.

Thanks Cody.

Damn... Ethan's gonna fuck up eventually and be a dead man, I feel it.

Nice update Woy.

Maybe, maybe not.

I don't think that woy is going to make it where he dies, that would kinda be a depressing end to the story...

Yeah, I'd feel kind of awkward writing up an update that kills myself, lol.

Ethan goes down with turf toe.

Hmmm.

If Woy were smart...he'd fake injury.

True, true.

Finally, I'm caught up.


Good updates there Woy. You sure are pushing your luck with Melyssa and Britt though. You can't leave your baby momma! If you do, her brother will probably shove his foot so far up your ass you'll taste his boot.

Btw, I want noods of Britt. Girl seems like a slut. I know she be sextin them naked pictures.

Actually I might have something interesting for you guys. At the end of the entire story, I'm going to post who I think would play who if this story was a movie. ;)

Working on an update now, probably will post it tonight.

[Woy]

Actually I'll post an update now, and then work on another one for tonight.

[Woy]

Putting it on the next page.

[Woy]

Tension Running High

Practice was brutal this week and tension was running high. It seemed like the team was losing focus and at least once a practice, there was some sort of fight going on. Needless to say, extra conditioning was a punishment from hell, as we stayed at least an hour after practice running. I started to lose my cool, but didn't show it until Thursday's practice.

It was a cool Thursday afternoon and we were in the middle of a light scrimmage. Greg was off with his passes, like usual, but for some reason it really got to me this time.

"Down, set, hut!"

I ran a slant route to perfection, easily having space between myself and the cornerback. Greg looked my way and threw it...completely behind me and into the defender's hands. As Coach blew the whistle on the play, I angrily unstrapped my helmet and threw it to the ground.

"What the fuck was that Greg?"

Greg looked at me, obviously confused why I was pissed.

"What was what Ethan?"

"That pass! I run a picture-perfect route and you throw it behind me!?"

"It slipped..."

"Have all of your 15 interceptions come because they've 'slipped' too?"

Some of the team made their way to us as Greg was starting to show some anger. A few went 'ohhh' when I made that comment, but I was tired of this shit.

"What's your problem man?"

"What's my problem? What's my problem!? I'm tired of fucking losing! I'm tired of you throwing interceptions! I'm tired of the drama surronding me at Syracuse! Seriously, fuck all this."

I started to make my way off the field when Greg said something that immediately made me turn my head.

"Still sneaking around with that Britt chick? Don't you have a baby to take care of?"

I made my way over to the crowd where Greg was standing with a smirk on his face.

"What did you say?"

"I don't remember, how 'bout you remind me?"

"I think you said, 'punch me in the fucking face.'"

"What was that?"

I wound back and laid a nice blow in his face. He stumbled for a few seconds then fell down as the crowd around us went 'ohh' again.

"Stay out of my personal life, bitch. Or I'll fuck you up worse than what Danny Green did on that dunk."

Some of the players laughed as the everyone made their way back to their stations. Greg got up slowly and made his way over to Coach. Coach's face showed one of disgust, and I knew he snitched on me when I was the only one there after practice, running suicide after suicide.

"What was that all about with Greg?"

"Coach, I'm tired of him. I tried to play nice, but damn, when I'm wide open I want the ball."

"He made one mistake Ethan, you can't..."

"He's made 15 Coach. He's leading the nation in interceptions."

"Actually Jimmy Clausen is."

"Coach, that's beside the point. Don't we have a better option to put behind center?"

"Believe me Ethan, I've thought of it. But look at our roster...I really wish we'd have Andrew back. Ryan's going to start next year, but right now he's nowhere near ready to step in for Greg, especially during the middle of our Big East schedule."

"I gotta help you recruit Coach, haha."

"Yeah, we need a stud four-star prospect to come in here - definitely would help our chances at a future Big East title. Anyways, just please try not to complain about Greg. It'll pay off in the long run, I promise."

"Sure."

"Good, now grab your pads and go back to the locker room. We need you ready for our rival West Virginia, Saturday."

Although I told Coach that I'd forget about my beef with Greg, I knew it would come up again. Winning is the only thing that can calm me down, cause right now losing is eating me alive...

[Apocalypse]

haha, nice update man.

[Lumpkin]

"I think you said, 'punch me in the fucking face.'"

Epic. So much win in this quote. Now that's the Ethan Woy I know and love, kicking ass and taking names.

[DoubleDeuce]

Another GOAT update by the Woyster.

Wonder how Greggie knew 'bout Britt.

[packersfan4eva]

great update. i wonder what's gonna happen when britt and rebecca find out about eachother. that'll be the best update you've ever done

[Woy]

I'm the 1,112 reply! Sweet!

Anyways. Good shit as always Ethan.

Thank you Josh.

"Actually Jimmy Clausen is".

High comedy.

It's the truth, he has 17 to Paulus's 15.

haha, nice update man.

Thanks Sam.

Lol at Clausen leading in picks.

Like I said above, it's the truth. It might happen in real life as well. ;)

Epic. So much win in this quote. Now that's the Ethan Woy I know and love, kicking ass and taking names.

Thanks Lumpkin, Woy doesn't back down to anyone.

Another GOAT update by the Woyster.

Wonder how Greggie knew 'bout Britt.

I wonder, hmm.

What happened to Rebecca?

also, great update.

Don't think I forgot about her.

great update. i wonder what's gonna happen when britt and rebecca find out about eachother. that'll be the best update you've ever done

You mean Britt and Melyssa? And thanks.

I loved the part where you hit Greg. I was a bit finished when you didn't finish the job

And by 'finish the job', I mean take his ass to the ground and beat him until he crys.

Would have gotten in too much trouble, lol.


I'll try to update tomorrow.

[Woy]

E shoulda gone MMA on his ass!

Anywhere else but practice, I would have.

You say he would have gotten into much trouble, but do you really think they'd not play him just because he "decked" a dukie? Everybody knows that Paulus just flopped ;)

Haha, that is true.

Shit just got srs. I'm glad you fucked him up. At least Clausen isn't the QB.

Greg Paulus and Jimmy Clausen are both teh fail.

I would have knocked Paulus out too.. you suck at Duke and he wants to come back and play football for the 'Cuse.. what a bitch.

Yeah, doesn't look bright for the Orange this season.


I'm working on an update now.

[Woy]

Strike One

at
West Virginia Mountaineers (2-2) at Syracuse Orange (2-3)

Woy's Word
The battle for the Schwartzwalder trophy brought a whole new meaning to the Carrier Dome's nickname, "The Loud House." Despite both teams being at and below .500, fans packed the dome to see some of the Big East's biggest stars play in their annual rivalry game.

Coach named me a captain for this one as myself and Delone walked out to meet with Mountaineer captains Noel Devine and Jarrett Brown. Some friendly trashtalk enused as we won the coin toss. I chose to kick the ball off and we made our way off the field as the kickoff team went on.

The first drive was hell for our defense. Jarrett Brown looked like Pat White out there, pitching and keeping the ball on option plays to perfection. Noel got some carries as well, and they ended up driving down the field in seven plays before Deion Sanders' godson was in the endzone, making it 7-0 WVU.

Greg hit Mike on our first play, then Delone got the bulk of the load. Five yards to the left, seven to the right, and eight up the middle brought us to mid-field when the drive stalled. However, Brown couldn't get any offense going for the visitors as they punted the ball back to us.

The corner covering me wasn't the greatest I've played against, and I got open a lot. However, Greg didn't even look my way once during the first quarter and instead forced passes to Mike. That, in turn, added another interception to Greg's stats and a number of knockdowns for the Mountaineers secondary.

I could tell that Greg was still upset about the whole fight Thursday afternoon, but that couldn't get in the way of winning this game. When the horn sounded signaling the end of the first quarter, I made my way over to the sideline. Greg was on the bench talking to the coaches upstairs about the defensive looks, when I hung up the phone and grabbed the neck of his shirt.

...

"What the fuck are you doing out there!?"

"What does it look like I'm doing..."

"Avoiding me and throwing even more interceptions..."

"Now don't start ag..."

"...I know we don't get along, but seriously, forget what happened Thursday. We're here to win this game, and I don't want you sacrificing that over some stupid argument."

"You punched me..."

"That's because you don't bring up my personal life. What I do off the field is none of your buisness, right?"

"Yeah I guess so."

"Good. Now one more question."

"Hurry up, it's fourth down for them right now."

"Check your crotch."

"What!?"

"Do it."

"Okay, what's that about?"

"You got balls?"

"Yes..."

"Well it doesn't seem like it out there. Play balls to the wall and let's get this win."

...

The second quarter was all ours. Paulus started looking my way in the first drive, hitting me four times to get the team into the redzone. From there, it was all Delone, running through Mountaineer defenders to a touchdown. The rest of the half wasn't exciting and the game was tied at seven going into halftime.

Every drive in the third quarter was promising but it ended up in either a punt or turnover. From there, West Virginia got two field goals in the fourth quarter to make it 13-7. But just like last week against South Florida, we started driving near the end of the game.

...

"Paulus hits Woy for 12!"

"Delone Carter up the middle for 11!"

"Paulus will keep it himself for a first down!"

...

With ten seconds left, we were 15 yards out of the endzone with two shots to score. Greg had me split out by myself on the right in single coverage and gave the signal to run a fade. I smirked as he called out the cadence.

...

"Paulus takes the snap, pump-fakes left, has Woy in single coverage on the right...and overthrows him! Incomplete, tough break for the 'Cuse. They'll have one more shot to score, it looks like."

...

Paulus patted me on the back, blaming himself for the missed opportunity. I just shook my head and made my way back to the huddle. Greg called another play with me split out by myself on the right, hoping to get single coverage again.

...

"Trips left, Woy split out to the right. Looks like double coverage on him...and here's the snap! Paulus stares down Woy, and fires..."

...

"Catch it, catch it Ethan..."

...

"...it's in his hands..."

...

"Bring it down, come on!"

...

"...and oh no! The hit caused Woy to drop it, another tough loss for Syracuse. The final score from the Carrier Dome is West Virginia 13, Syracuse 7."

...

As the young freshman lays face down to the ground, crushed about blowing the game, a cell phone starts to vibrate in the home locker room.

"Strike one."

West Virginia 13
Syracuse 7


9 catches, 122 yards

[Argath]

they see me rolllinnn, they hattinnn

[Argath]

oh damn, That one catch was all you needed. Damn that sucks.

[DoubleDeuce]

Greg Paulus>Ethan Woy

[Yawkey Way]

76 PAGES OF AN EJACULATION.