Dell's Good, Bad & Ugly Movie Reviews

[Houston]

Favorite Actress?

[dell71]

Favorite Actress?

hmmm...some faves (talent-wise):

Meryl Streep (GOAT?)
Angela Bassett (criminally underrated/underused)
Ellen Page (up & comer, most hated on)
Charlize Theron (not just another pretty face)
Penelope Cruz (mostly for her Spanish language movies)
Kate Winslet (Streep's heir apparent?)
Taraji P. Henson (a force of nature)

[The Buddha]

I found Knight and Day to be oddly amusing. Tom Cruise had me crackin up a bunch of times.

[dell71]

I found Knight and Day to be oddly amusing. Tom Cruise had me crackin up a bunch of times.

For all its silliness, its definitely watchable.

[dell71]

The Black Godfather
Directed by John Evans.
1974. Rated R, 90 minutes.
Cast:
Rod Perry
Jimmy Witherspoon
Don Chastain
Diane Sommerfield
Tony Burton
Damu King
Anny Green

J. J. (Perry), Not The J. J. of Good Times, and his bestest buddy in petty crime decide to break into some white dude’s place. Neither of these two geniuses thinks to bring a weapon of any sort and are promptly shot upon entering the premises. The buddy gets killed, but Not The J. J. manages to make it down the street where he is picked up by a good samaritan who just hates to see young brothers bleeding to death on the sidewalk. The good samaritan turns out to be none other than Nate Williams (Witherspoon), the numbers king of “the Black community”, we’re told. By the way, Nate’s sidekick is former boxing champion Sonny Spyder Brown. At least, that’s what he’s called in this movie. For me, the moment I saw him his name became “Hey, that’s Duke from the Rocky movies!” True story.

Anyhoo, Nate says he picked Not The J. J. up and had him nursed back to health because he recognizes talent when he sees it. Funny, I didn’t know writhing in pain on the pavement was a talent. Well, it’s not. Wait…did you think? Let’s move on. We quickly learn why Nate thinks Not The J. J. is talented. It happens that the place Not The J. J. and pal tried to break into belongs to Tony (Chastain), the local white gangster who really runs things. Now, I’m confused. Is breaking into a known gangster’s place of business, while he’s there with his goons talented, or just dumb as hell? The lights were on and you could see movement from outside, by the way. My head hurts, and we just started.

Finally, the opening credits roll over the funky 70s theme song, a very groovy tune if you were wondering. When its done we’ve skipped ahead a few years and Not The J. J. is now big-time. Not only is he Nate’s top dog, he actually runs things while Nate piddles around in semi-retirement. “Hey, that’s Duke from the Rocky movies!” seems bitter about all this since it looks like he got jumped in the pecking order. Oh well, what’s he gonna do, throw in the towel? Okay, that went over some of your heads. The rest of you probably think my humor sucks. I don’t really care.

Feeling his oats, and still more than a little bit upset about the whole getting shot thing, Not The J. J. decides he’s going to take down Tony. His own crew of thugs isn’t enough to do this so he forms an uneasy alliance with a Black militant group to help him. So yeah, the pushers, pimps and numbers runners join forces with a Black Panther styled organization to…ahem…in my most militant voice…stick it to the man!

Even though it’s achieved classic status among many Blaxploitation fans, it isn’t quite the totally bananas, anything goes experience many of these movies are. A lot of the genre conventions are present, but not the near complete lack of restraint that makes Blaxploitation extraordinarily fun. Furthermore, Not The J. J. lacks the charisma of Shaft, Superfly or the Mack. He certainly isn’t the purveyor of cool they were, either. This means we’re left with a movie that, during its own era, thrilled audiences desperate for any representation of Black power. However, in a world that’s post-Spike Lee, post-Denzel, post-The Matrix (many of that hugely successful franchise’s heroes were Black, Neo aside) and more recently and importantly, post-Obama, its major flaw is more easily discerned. It’s so glaring, it’s near-fatal. It points itself out several times as if its something that’s going to be resolved, yet never really addresses it. Many movies of its type have the same problem. This one just isn’t fun enough to overcome it.

That flaw is in its morality. What happens if/when Not The J. J. runs Tony out of town? He merely ascends to a throne built upon the same crimes the movie suggests were perpertrated on Blacks by the White establishment. As we’re told several times, Not The J. J. is no different or better than Tony. The movie is aware of its own problem and knowingly proceeds as if not to be. It dodges the question it asks of itself: what good is replacing a White devil with a Black one?

MY SCORE: 4.5/10

[tigstah]

The Black Godfather
Directed by John Evans.
1974. Rated R, 90 minutes.
Cast:
Rod Perry
Jimmy Witherspoon
Don Chastain
Diane Sommerfield
Tony Burton
Damu King
Anny Green

J. J. (Perry), Not The J. J. of Good Times, and his bestest buddy in petty crime decide to break into some white dude’s place. Neither of these two geniuses thinks to bring a weapon of any sort and are promptly shot upon entering the premises. The buddy gets killed, but Not The J. J. manages to make it down the street where he is picked up by a good samaritan who just hates to see young brothers bleeding to death on the sidewalk. The good samaritan turns out to be none other than Nate Williams (Witherspoon), the numbers king of “the Black community”, we’re told. By the way, Nate’s sidekick is former boxing champion Sonny Spyder Brown. At least, that’s what he’s called in this movie. For me, the moment I saw him his name became “Hey, that’s Duke from the Rocky movies!” True story.

Anyhoo, Nate says he picked Not The J. J. up and had him nursed back to health because he recognizes talent when he sees it. Funny, I didn’t know writhing in pain on the pavement was a talent. Well, it’s not. Wait…did you think? Let’s move on. We quickly learn why Nate thinks Not The J. J. is talented. It happens that the place Not The J. J. and pal tried to break into belongs to Tony (Chastain), the local white gangster who really runs things. Now, I’m confused. Is breaking into a known gangster’s place of business, while he’s there with his goons talented, or just dumb as hell? The lights were on and you could see movement from outside, by the way. My head hurts, and we just started.

Finally, the opening credits roll over the funky 70s theme song, a very groovy tune if you were wondering. When its done we’ve skipped ahead a few years and Not The J. J. is now big-time. Not only is he Nate’s top dog, he actually runs things while Nate piddles around in semi-retirement. “Hey, that’s Duke from the Rocky movies!” seems bitter about all this since it looks like he got jumped in the pecking order. Oh well, what’s he gonna do, throw in the towel? Okay, that went over some of your heads. The rest of you probably think my humor sucks. I don’t really care.

Feeling his oats, and still more than a little bit upset about the whole getting shot thing, Not The J. J. decides he’s going to take down Tony. His own crew of thugs isn’t enough to do this so he forms an uneasy alliance with a Black militant group to help him. So yeah, the pushers, pimps and numbers runners join forces with a Black Panther styled organization to…ahem…in my most militant voice…stick it to the man!

Even though it’s achieved classic status among many Blaxploitation fans, it isn’t quite the totally bananas, anything goes experience many of these movies are. A lot of the genre conventions are present, but not the near complete lack of restraint that makes Blaxploitation extraordinarily fun. Furthermore, Not The J. J. lacks the charisma of Shaft, Superfly or the Mack. He certainly isn’t the purveyor of cool they were, either. This means we’re left with a movie that, during its own era, thrilled audiences desperate for any representation of Black power. However, in a world that’s post-Spike Lee, post-Denzel, post-The Matrix (many of that hugely successful franchise’s heroes were Black, Neo aside) and more recently and importantly, post-Obama, its major flaw is more easily discerned. It’s so glaring, it’s near-fatal. It points itself out several times as if its something that’s going to be resolved, yet never really addresses it. Many movies of its type have the same problem. This one just isn’t fun enough to overcome it.

That flaw is in its morality. What happens if/when Not The J. J. runs Tony out of town? He merely ascends to a throne built upon the same crimes the movie suggests were perpertrated on Blacks by the White establishment. As we’re told several times, Not The J. J. is no different or better than Tony. The movie is aware of its own problem and knowingly proceeds as if not to be. It dodges the question it asks of itself: what good is replacing a White devil with a Black one?

MY SCORE: 4.5/10

sad to say this, but i never heard of this movie. i will see if i can find it somewhere.

[AnArtofWar]

You should watch/review The Exam...it's on stream if you have netflix. I think it was an interesting movie and definitely better than I thought it would be- it's a low budget film(or seems to be) and a bunch of no name actors. I'd like to see what you'd think of it. It's a bit slow at first but you eventually get caught up in it.

[dell71]

You should watch/review The Exam...it's on stream if you have netflix. I think it was an interesting movie and definitely better than I thought it would be- it's a low budget film(or seems to be) and a bunch of no name actors. I'd like to see what you'd think of it. It's a bit slow at first but you eventually get caught up in it.

Don't have Netflix (use Blockbuster online). I'll see if I can find it somewhere.

[dell71]

All About My Mother
Directed by Pedro Almodóvar.
1999. Rated R, 101 minutes, Spanish.
Cast:
Cecilia Roth
Marisa Paredes
Penélope Cruz
Candela Péna
Antonia San Juan
Rosa Maria Serda

When you sit down to watch a film directed by Pedro Almodóvar, there are some things you should know. More than likely, it will heavily involve people in some form of entertainment, and someone desperately aspiring to break into the business. In this case, that’s a pair of stage actresses, a young would-be playwright and another would-be actress, though not so desperately aspiring in her case. There will be lots of secrets uncovered as we move along. Lastly, at least one of the characters will live what many consider an alternative lifestyle. Here, it’s a pre-op transsexual. He’s already got the boobs, but still has male plumbing. This character isn’t just a freak show, though that quality is certainly present, even made light of. This character is a constant reminder that things aren’t always what they seem. This is key because it ties back into the plethora of secrets.

We learn early that Manuela (Roth) is keeping a secret from her son. It’s about his absent father. Before she can tell him, he’s killed in a tragic accident. She then decides she needs to confront her past and goes looking for her ex.

AS the story unfolds, each character we meet has their own major issues to deal with. Being the only mother in the group, Manuela becomes the one all others lean on. This provides an interesting dynamic between her and her odd circle of friends. In typical Almodóvar fashion, this develops without rushing or dragging. This perfect pacing, along with the colorful characters and their dilemmas, keeps us intrigued.

In comparison to other movies I’ve seen by this director, this suffers from something others do not. It feels overpopulated and disjointed. An entire movie can be made about a number characters here and it would be a good one. All stuffed into this one, it feels like most of these people don’t quite get their just due. The potential even more depth than is present is unexplored.

Exactly like Almodóvar’s other films, he extracts excellent performances from his actors. Even throughout all the melodrama, they never seem to overdo it. Sour notes just aren’t hit. They elevate the material. Particularly outstanding is Cecilia Roth in the lead role. Her emotions effortlessly runs the gamut from depression to triumph and most stops in between.

In the end, the director’s pacing, the sharp dialogue and acting come together to make an enjoyable movie. I don’t think its quite on the same level as some of his other work. However, the mere fact it’s different yet still real, and not afraid of being so, makes it worthy of your attention.

MY SCORE: 7/10

[dell71]

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Directed by David Slade.
2010. Rated PG-13, 124 minutes.
Cast:
Kristen Stewart
Robert Pattinson
Taylor Lautner
Billy Burke
Bryce Dallas Howard
Peter Facinelli
Anna Kendrick
Xavier Samuel
Dakota Fanning
Michael Welch
Jackson Rathbone

This entire series gives me cause to rant. For three movies now, I’ve had to endure whiny, annoying, sexually frustrated teenagers say “woe, is me” and take two full hours to say it, each time. What am I gonna do, not watch them? The women in my house eat this stuff up. “The women” consists of my two pre-teen daughters and my wife who is…um…not a pre-teen. I think she’ll be okay with that.

Anyhoo, before I go too far off the deep end, let me give the particulars for those of you who’ve been living under a rock. Human girl Bella (Stewart) is still trying mightily to get into vampire Edward’s (Pattinson) pants. He’s an old-fashioned sort, maybe because he’s over 100 years old, but whatever. He asks her to marry him roughly every five minutes. Somehow, she thinks that’s too big a commitment but begs him to either take her virginity or change her into a vampire for all eternity. He agrees to do the latter after Bella’s high school graduation, but only on the condition she marry him, of course. Even though she’s ready to become one of the undead, she’s not as sure about the marriage thing because she also has strong feelings for werewolf Jacob (Lautner). Jacob spends all his energy trying to lure Bella away by badmouthing Edward and standing around with no shirt on. Like Edward, he makes jealous. He makes me seriously consider dropping twenty bucks on a Shake-Weight I’ll probably never use.

Oh yeah, there’s lots of action this time around. That’s because Victoria (Howard) is still pissed about ther boyfriend getting killed in the first movie and is organizing an army of
”newborns” to go after Bella. Normally, something like that would be a spoiler, but its painfully obvious from very early on. What’s laughable is that they try to hide it for quite some time as if we ever doubted her involvement. By the way, “newborns” are those newly transformed into vampires.

Much has been written about how The Twilight Saga is merely a Mormon plea for pre-marital abstinence. I’ve no problem with that, the vampire is a great choice to build such a metaphor. However, our creature of the night is completely neutered. Being a vampire, like many view having sex for the first time, should be both a blessing and a curse. Sure, they have immense power, but their weaknesses should be huge detriments. I imagine the author believes sex before marriage to be a sin, a black mark on one’s soul. There’s also the possibility of unwanted pregnancy and disease. All of thes could be perfectly manifested in the horrific things vampires must do to survive and the simple fact that daylight is fatal to them.

There is no real downside to being a vampire in this series. In this world, vampires are only killed by others like them. They can learn to survive without having to pose a threat to humans, and daylight doesn’t kill them. It makes them sparkle like a diamond, but causes no physical discomfort. The only drawback, should you avoid being killed by other bloodsuckers, is you’ll live forever and get bored from time to time, repeat high school and move every few years. That’s it? Sign me up, now!

Let’s back up a bit to the whole daylight thing. Not only would its deadliness to vampires have helped the abstinence purpose, it’s a key component in the mythology of such creatures. Starting with the first movie, this franchise stomps that tradition into the ground. In this installment, they drive a wooden stake right through its proverbial heart. They don’t even pretend the sun even matters. What used to be a full-on shine is now looks more like someone across the room trying to get their watch to reflect off them. It’s so faint, it’s hardly noticeable. There are multiple scenes of vampires standing around, or fighting, in wide open fields in the middle of the day. Bram Stoker is probably spinning in his grave.

You’re probably saying to yourself “I already know all that, how’s the movie?” That depends. If you’re a fan of the franchise then you’ll be very pleased. If not, maybe. A huge point in Eclipse’s favor is that it is far less depressing than its predecessor, New Moon. That one was a full-on mope-fest seemingly designed to inspire millions of young girls to leap untethered from the nearest tall building, on top of being dumb. At least, this is just dumb. I will say this: the scenes which all three participants in our love triangle share are actually fun in a morbid, so bad it’s awesome sort of way. The dialogue is beyond trite, but it is contentious. It helps that the possibility of an all-out brawl erupting feels high. In addition, the action I mentioned earlier kicks thins up a notch. Granted, it looks kind of hoke with vampires breaking like porcelain, but at least something is happening. Sue me, or just never forgive, but because of these things and expecting to see the worst movie ever made, I actually almost kinda-sorta enjoyed it. For my money, it’s the best of a very bad trilogy.

MY SCORE: 5.5/10

To see what I thought of its predecessors, click the title:

Twilight
The Twilight Saga: New Moon

[Leftwich]

Dell I want to see you do a review of Starship Troopers. Do it now!

[dell71]

Dell I want to see you do a review of Starship Troopers. Do it now!

It's been a lot of years since I've seen that. Good stuff, tho.

Hated part 2, didn't bother with the rest.

[dell71]

Despicable Me
Directed by Pierre Coffin and Chris Renaud.
2010. Rated PG, 95 minutes.
Cast:
Steve Carrell
Jason Segel
Russell Brand
Julie Andrews
Will Arnett
Kristen Wiig
Miranda Cosgrove
Dana Gaier
Elsie Fisher

Gru (Carrell) is a supervillain who’s day just been ruined. Someone else has just pulled off the greatest heist of all time. It’s so big, it’s said the new villain responsible makes all others look lame. Not one to take being outdone lightly, Gru devises a plan to steal the moon. His plan involves adopting three little girls from the local orphanage. However, after that happens Gru finds he’s gotten much more than he bargained for. We watch his relationship with the girls grow as he tries to simultaneously plot his crime. As expected, there is much cuteness in this. However, the girls are a distraction and seem to be softening the ornery Gru.

Most of our comedy comes from the minions. These little yellow guys are, by far, my favorite part of the movie. It doesn’t even matter that you can’t understand a word they say. They’re just plain fun and totally willing to do all the dirty work. Our action is derived from Gru’s interactions with Vector (Segel), the villain Gru is trying to one up. When the two get together, there are plenty of fireworks.

DM is a very solid kiddie flick. Though there is some, it isn’t overrun with bathroom humor and the things meant for adults don’t completely fly over the kids’ heads. It’s an enjoyable hour and a half that doesn’t reinvent the wheel, but gives us a fun ride.

MY SCORE: 7/10

[dell71]

The Ghost Writer
Directed by Roman Polanski.
2010. Rated PG-13, 128 minutes.
Cast:
Ewan McGregor
Pierce Brosnan
Olivia Williams
Kim Cattrall
Tom Wilkinson
Robert Pugh
Timothy Hutton
James Belushi

The Ghost (McGregor), as he’s often called, is hired to ghost write the autobiography of former British Prime Minister Adam Lang (Brosnan). However, there are peculiarities about the job. Not the least of which is the reason he is hired in the first place. The man originally assigned to the task has suddenly turned up dead. Next, the manuscript is said to have already been written, but no one outside of Lang’s most trusted people have actually seen it. Last, but certainly not least, accusations of war crimes are being hurled at Lang. Pretty soon, those accusations turn into a full-blown criminal investigation. Like us, The Ghost wonders just what has he gotten himself into and if he can get to the bottom of it.

This is the type of move where the threat of what could be next carries the day. To this end, it gives us much more in the way of tension than action. It’s better for it. Action is a short burst of excitement and is largely visual. Tension is much more visceral and lingers longer. It keeps us interested in these people.

Because of tension, we’re vested in the exploits of our hero. With every step he takes, we fear that it is a false one and that he will pay dearly for it. What also helps is that often, he isn’t sure whether or not the move he’s making is a good one, either. Nor is he some super-spy trained in the ways of espionage with tons of gadgets at his disposal. He’s just a guy who finds himself in the midst of something enormous. To get through it, he has some ideas, but generally takes the next step presented to him.

To pull this sort of thing off, a movie has to be well written. This one is. It keeps us going long enough to sustain our curiosity. Director Roman Polanski helps by being patient. He never rushes his story and barely embellishes what little action there is. This gives it a real-world feel that adds to our enjoyment. I will have to dock TGW a bit because my initial suspicions about where the trail will lead turn out to be true. Within the first 20 minutes I guessed the answer. Luckily, asking the questions is still lots of fun.

The banter between The Ghost and Adam offers some of the movies best moments. As the Prime Minister, Brosnan gives an outstanding performance. McGregor is also strong, as is Olivia Williams as Lang’s wife, Ruth, and the reliable Tom Wilkinson as Paul Emmett. Casting wise, my one gripe is with Kim Cattrall. She gives a weird portrayal as Lang’s top assistant. Seeing her try to speak with an English accent is odd in itself. However, combined with her almost robotic line deliveries it becomes downright ridiculous.

In sum, TGW manages to overcome its shortcomings to be a wonderfully taut thriller. It’s capped off by an amazing shot to end the film. It reminds me of the director’s own classic horror film, Rosemary’s Baby. In both movies, the finale is startling because of what you don’t see.

MY SCORE: 8.5/10

[tigstah]

Despicable Me
Directed by Pierre Coffin and Chris Renaud.
2010. Rated PG, 95 minutes.
Cast:
Steve Carrell
Jason Segel
Russell Brand
Julie Andrews
Will Arnett
Kristen Wiig
Miranda Cosgrove
Dana Gaier
Elsie Fisher

Gru (Carrell) is a supervillain who’s day just been ruined. Someone else has just pulled off the greatest heist of all time. It’s so big, it’s said the new villain responsible makes all others look lame. Not one to take being outdone lightly, Gru devises a plan to steal the moon. His plan involves adopting three little girls from the local orphanage. However, after that happens Gru finds he’s gotten much more than he bargained for. We watch his relationship with the girls grow as he tries to simultaneously plot his crime. As expected, there is much cuteness in this. However, the girls are a distraction and seem to be softening the ornery Gru.

Most of our comedy comes from the minions. These little yellow guys are, by far, my favorite part of the movie. It doesn’t even matter that you can’t understand a word they say. They’re just plain fun and totally willing to do all the dirty work. Our action is derived from Gru’s interactions with Vector (Segel), the villain Gru is trying to one up. When the two get together, there are plenty of fireworks.

DM is a very solid kiddie flick. Though there is some, it isn’t overrun with bathroom humor and the things meant for adults don’t completely fly over the kids’ heads. It’s an enjoyable hour and a half that doesn’t reinvent the wheel, but gives us a fun ride.

MY SCORE: 7/10

i love this movie.....the minions are lovable lil characters.