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I should check out that Brothers Bloom movie.
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The Stepfather
Directed by Nelson McCormick.
2009. Rated PG-13, 101 minutes.
Cast:
Dylan Walsh
Sela Ward
Penn Badgley
Amber Heard
Sherry Stringfield
Paige Turco
Jon Tenney
Nancy Linehan Charles
Braeden Lemasters
Skyler Samuels
Plot: When Michael (Badgley) comes home from military school he finds his mom blindly in love with and ready to marry David (Walsh) whom she met just six months ago. However, there’s something just not right with this guy. A remake of the 1987 movie of the same name.
The Good: The pedal stays to the metal. It throws everything at you, repeatedly. David suddenly appears out of nowhere about a thousand times, always accompanied by a hard note of music. He’s also prone to violence at the drop of a hat which leads to a knock-down drag-out finale. We even get the time-tested cat thrown across the camera to create a jump-scare.
The Bad: The stupidity is unending. The director strikes first by revealing to us at the very beginning what this guy is all about. That’s right, the very first scene is of him leaving behind the family he just murdered. So now, there’s nothing for the movie to build towards. We know how far he’ll go. Second is Sela Ward’s character (Susan), who is a complete numbskull. I kept waiting on someone to tap their knuckles on her head a few times and say “Hello McFly, is anybody home?” The authorities are no better. How this guy hasn’t been caught before Michael meets him is a mystery only explained by poor screenwriting. I could go on about ridiculous plot contrivances, imbecilic dialogue, predictability, etc. but why should I?
The Ugly: Why Jay (Tenney) never picked up Michael.
Recommendation: If you can completely shut your brain down, have at it. Some movies are completely dumb but still fun to watch. This is not one of them. It is painful. You can see everything coming and you roll your eyes when it happens. No, I haven’t seen the original. I may have to. It couldn’t possibly be as bad.
The Opposite View: Betty Jo Tucker, ReelTalk Movie Reviews
What the Internet Says: 5.3/10 on imdb.com (6/14/10), 11% on rottentomatoes.com, 33/100 on metacritic.com
MY SCORE: 2/10Comment
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I always see The Stepfather when I'm cycling through netflix watch instantly. I could never seem to talk myself into watching it, even though I want to be inside Amber Heard.Comment
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Daybreakers
Directed by The Spierig Brothers.
2010. Rated R, 98 minutes.
Cast:
Ethan Hawke
Claudia Karvan
Sam Neill
Willem Dafoe
Isabel Lucas
Michael Dorman
Vince Colosimo
Plot: It’s 2019 and almost all of the world’s population has been transformed into vampires. To survive, they hunt and farm the remaining humans for their blood supply. With only a few humans left, both they and the vampires are on the verge of becoming extinct.
The Good: It’s original. The vast majority of vampire fare is fixated on some sort of romance. This takes the vampire legend to a logical point. If such creatures did exist, it stands to reason they could become the dominant species. Though here, that’s attributed to an unnamed plague. It’s a different sort of apocalypse. The movie does a nice job showcasing just how different, but also how many things would remain the same. Taken all together, it works as an excellent metaphor for and warning against our cultures seemingly insatiable consumerism and devouring of natural resources. That said, it never forgets blood is the main draw for the characters and the audience, alike. Therefore, there’s plenty of it splattering the screen. When a vampire dies, or bites someone, it’s usually a very messy thing.
The Bad: Our main villain, Charles Bromley (Neill) is quite up to snuff. We need a more dynamic personality to instill the fear and loathing this movie obviously wants to. Our human resistance isn’t always the smartest bunch. I mean, why would they ever travel by night? Finally, our solution isn’t necessarily a sure thing. Normally, I’d be fine with that but here, it’s passed off as if it is. It would take a whole lot of convincing or a lot more scenes like what happens at the end here to be effective.
The Ugly: What happens to the first guy they try out the blood substitute.
Recommendation: If you’re looking for a different type of vampire movie, look no further. It’s what I Am Legend could’ve been, had those creatures maintained most of their human faculties. If gore bothers you, steer clear. Of course, I realize I’m in the minority while championing this movie. There appears to be a lot of hatred for it. Perhaps, it’s because of that ending. People seem to feel it doesn’t go far enough when the premise is so great. I can definitely see that, but I still thoroughly enjoyed it.
The Opposite View: Roger Moore, Orlando Sentinel
What the Internet Says: 6.6/10 on imdb.com (6/15/10), 66% on rottentomatoes.com, 57/100 on metacritic.com
MY SCORE: 7/10Comment
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I'm shocked that you didn't mention that Amber Heard was literally in a bathingsuit the entire movie.Comment
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Couples Retreat
Directed by Peter Billingsley.
2010. Rated PG-13, 114 minutes.
Cast:
Vince Vaughn
Jason Bateman
Faizon Love
Kristin Davis
Kristen Bell
Malin Akerman
Kali Hawk
Jean Reno
Tasha Smith
Plot: Four couples get a group rate to go to an island paradise. Once there, they discover that the unorthodox therapy sessions that came with the discount are mandatory.
The Good: From time to time something funny happens. When it does, it’s usually hilarious. Our four couple often find themselves in outlandish and compromising situations. Chief among them is the yoga scene which is one of the funniest scenes I’ve watched in a little while. Vince Vaughn (Dave) is only doing the Vince Vaughn persona he does in nearly every movie, but he does it so well. It’s “so money”, to fondly remember where it all started. He’s not alone. The other guys also wear their familiar personas well. Therefore, we get what we’ve come to expect from Favreau, Bateman and Love.
The Bad: Those hilarious moments are spaced kind of far apart, while easily predictable things happen to fill the gaps. Worse than that, nearly every funny moment in the movie was in the trailer. There really wasn’t much else. Of course, a tidy bow is wrapped around everything, including one character’s wife popping up literally from nowhere. It’s a movie that could’ve been so much more but takes the lazy route more often than not. Oh, and I haven’t even mentioned the walking, talking stereotype named Trudy (Hawk).
The Ugly: I guess he really wasn’t wearing drawers.
Recommendation: It has its moments. It’s not the affront to humanity some have made it out to be, but it has a severe case “if you’ve seen the commercial, you’ve seen the movie.”
The Opposite View: Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly
What the Internet Says: 5.5/10 on imdb.com (6/15/10), 11% on rottentomatoes.com, 23/100 on metacritic.com
MY SCORE: 5/10Comment
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Bad Lieutenant:
Port of Call - New Orleans
Directed by Werner Herzog.
2009. Rated R, 122 minutes.
Cast:
Nicolas Cage
Eva Mendes
Val Kilmer
Xzibit
Tom Bower
Jennifer Coolidge
Shawn Hatosy
Denzel Whitaker
Irma P. Hall
Michael Shannon
Plot: Terence McDonagh (Cage) heads up an investigation of the murder of an entire family of African immigrants in post-Katrina New Orleans. However, he has to deal with his own considerable demons, as well.
The Good: The situations Terrence puts himself in are both outrageous and dangerous. It’s fun to watch Cage rant, rave, flash his badge and wave his gun around. As these situations mount they weave an intriguing tapestry of storylines. The supporting cast is excellent. In particular, Eva Mendes as his girlfriend who happens to be a prostitute, Xzibit as a local gangster and Jennifer Coolidge as Terence’s step-mom tend to steal their scenes.
The Bad: Essentially, the entire movie is a buildup for something that never happens. There’s a scene tacked onto the end that bookends the opening scene. Together, they try to give us what’s missing, but it fails. This means that in the world of Terence McDonagh truth and consequences are mere myths, things that only apply to other people. For him to be where he is when the credits roll means that lots of people are incompetent and lots of others are unnecessarily in danger. Often, an ending that’s nihilistic and suggests hoplessness can work. Here, it does not.
The Ugly: Terence threatening to cut off the old lady’s oxygen supply.
Recommendation: Many critics have listed this among their top movies of 2009. They give it points for its grittiness, Herzog’s sure-handed directing and Cage’s flashy performance. Those things are indeed praise-worthy, but the movie as a whole left a bad taste in my mouth.
The Opposite View: Peter Rainer, Christian Science Monitor
What the Internet Says: 7.0/10 on imdb.com (6/18/10), 87% on rottentomatoes.com, 69/100 on metacritic.com
MY SCORE: 5.5/10
Then there's this...
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The Breakfast Club
Directed by John Hughes.
1985. Rated R, 97 minutes.
Cast:
Molly Ringwald
Emilio Estevez
Judd Nelson
Anthony Michael-Hall
Ally Sheedy
Paul Gleason
John Kapelos
A group of students of Shermer High School, who barely know each other, have to endure a full Saturday of detention with one another. They’re all misfits to varying degrees. The movie bravely delves into each person’s problem as they engage in what essentially amounts to group therapy. As such, it can occasionally get a little sappy. For the most part, it manages not to. The dialogue is sharp and feels true to the high school experience. There is slang present but the dialogue isn’t dependent on it. This helps the movie remain fresh. Remarkably, despite the passing of a quarter century the only time it really feels dated is when something from the soundtrack blares from the speakers. Of course, this is with small allowances for fashion and hair. I feel confident that if it were remade today the only way for it to be updated would be by having a racially diverse cast all toting cell phones. The rest of the themes need no modernizing.
One noticeable element of TBC is the role of adults. The ones we see are only there because the plot requires them to be. A bunch of kids aren’t going to sit in school all day on a Saturday unsupervised. They’re also comic relief. The kids generate plenty of humor through their verbal sparring. With Principal Vernon (Gleason) they engage in cat and mouse shenanigans. Carl (Kapelos), the school janitor, counsels the principal and is possibly a warning to our heroes. Or perhaps he’s a lesson that nobility exists at all economic levels. The adults we don’t see, or only glimpse at the beginning and end, drive the movie. They are the source of pain that has landed them all where we meet them.
Performance-wise, “The Brat Pack”, as much of this cast and few others came to be known (most notably Demi Moore and Emilio Estevez’s brother Charlie Sheen), is strong across the board. For my money, Ally Sheedy as the initially mute then later fork-tongued and perpetually depressed Allison steals the show. However, her character also provides the film’s biggest drawback. It ends when it must, when detention is over, but the fairy-tale elements revolving around her that are suddenly introduced feel bogus. They’re not only a betrayal of the 90 or so minutes before it but also of who she is as a person. Still, everything up to that point is such a joy and so relatable, we let it pass.
MY SCORE: 9/10Comment
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