Dell's Good, Bad & Ugly Movie Reviews

[dell71]

The Boondock Saints
Directed by Troy Duffy.
1999. Rated R, 108 minutes.
Cast:
Sean Patrick Flanery
Norman Reedus
Willem Dafoe
David Della Rocco
Billy Connolly
Gerard Parkes
David Ferry
Brian Mahoney
Bob Marley

After a skirmish with some of the local soldiers of the Russian mob, the McManus brothers, Connor (Flanery) and Murphy (Reedus) decide to become vigilantes. They start going after Boston’s bad guys in order to dole out their own brand of justice.

The dialogue is mostly sharp and often funny. Characters relate to one another in a manner that somehow feels natural despite the unnatural circumstances in which they find themselves. Director and writer Troy Duffy’s prose owes a lot to Guy Ritchie’s Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and even more to the canon of Quentin Tarantino. This is most noticeable when the characters have conversations that seem to be pointless but help establish personalities and more noticeably when they reference pop culture.

The action scenes are also a plus. They’re fun, bloody and don’t always go according to plan. Through the flashbacks they’re shown through we discover that our heroes are generally sloppy in their work. That helps endear them to us. They don’t seem to be indestructible beings mowing down hundreds of faceless villains. True, they defy the odds but they seem lucky to do so.

To me, the best part of the movie is Willem Dafoe. As Agent Smecker, the federal agent assigned to find out who’s killing all the crooks, Dafoe is marvelous. He’s certainly over the top, but he does it so well. From his opening scene where he’s dancing through the alley while concocting a theory through his near last scene in a dress, it’s a virtuoso performance. Some will say it’s too much, but to me it’s perfectly suited to the movie it’s in.

The problems become apparent the closer we get to the end. For instance, once we meet Il Duce it’s like the air gets let out of the balloon. At that point, TBS crosses the line from being ridiculous in a fun way to just being ridiculous. The contrived court-room scene is worst of all. It reeks of trying to be cool instead of actually being so.

In all, it’s a fun movie that does what it wants: entertain us with witty, occasionally quotable dialogue and stylized violence. However, it can’t quite overcome it’s shortcomings to really be great. It never outdoes the movies it emulates. A copy is never as sharp as the original.

MY SCORE: 6.5/10

The Boondock Saints II:
All Saints Day
Directed by Troy Duffy.
2009. Rated R, 118 minutes.
Cast:
Sean Patrick Flanery
Norman Reedus
Julie Benz
Billy Connolly
Clifton Collins Jr.
Bob Marley
Brian Mahoney
David Ferry
Judd Nelson
Peter Fonda
Gerard Parkes

The McManus Brothers, Connor (Flanery) and Murphy (Reedus) have taken refuge somewhere in Ireland after the events of the first movie. In that movie, they hunted down and killed over 20 of Boston’s bad guys. Now, ten years later, they’re compelled to return to their hometown when they learn that a local priest has been murdered in cold blood, but not before they shave.

Sometimes a comedian will step on stage and bomb. His routine will be stale and sensing his own failure, he starts sweating profusely. If that weren’t bad enough, he’s the only person laughing because obviously he thinks his material is funny even if no one else does. Essentially, this is the problem with All Saints Day. While the first movie is a ripoff of Quentin Tarantino, it is at least occasionally clever and often entertaining. It also contains a wonderfully quirky performance by Willem Dafoe. This time it goes straight for screwball comedy, mixed in no subtle manner with gun-porn and homo-eroticism.

Also evident are the countless hours spent studying movies like Shoot ‘em Up and Smokin’ Aces plus everything Tarantino and Guy Ritchie have done since 1999. There’s also the countless other films it references and uses as inspiration for its never-ending succession of bad jokes. Yes, it quite literally laughs at them alone. I can’t count how many times a character says something supposedly witty then bursts into an uncontrollable guffaw. We’re supposed to recognize the movie it just poked fun at (Panic Room, The Godfather, The Untouchables, GoodFellas, so many more I lost count) and laugh along. It never quite works that way.

Among those inspirations, of course, is the original The Boondock Saints. Agent Smecker (Dafoe) only appears briefly. The running gag is that Eunice (Benz) has taken his place and basically does an impersonation of him. This is supposed to be funny mostly because he was a homosexual while she is actually a woman. It is not funny. Neither is the goofy Three Stooges routine by our three local cops assigned to help her. They’re just caricatures of what they were in the first movie which were caricatures to begin with.

Even the violence is played for laughs, unsuccessfully. What should be a reprieve from the annoying only grows moreso. What is funny, if only to us, is that the plot with a “sins of the father” slant could’ve made for a great movie. It’s told in a manner that borrows heavily from The Godfather Part II. However, the joke is on us. The execution is murderously bad. This makes the two hour runtime feel unbearably long.

This experience reminds me of something Roger Ebert once wrote: Better to wait for a whole movie for something to happen (assuming we really care whether it happens) than to sit through a film where things we don’t care about are happening constantly. In The Boondock Saints II things we don’t care about happen constantly.


The Opposite View: Matthew Razak, Examiner.com

What the Internet Says: 6.5/10 on imdb.com (7/5/10), 21% on rottentomatoes.com, 24/100 on metacritic.com

MY SCORE: 2/10

[Fox1994]

I liked your analysis of these feminine biopics at the end of the Coco Before Chanel review. Very insightful. In other news, the first thing I thought of when I saw your picture for The Tournament, was that scene in Pulp Fiction, yes that scene.

[dell71]

Hmmm....lost posts, new servers...feels like deja vu all over again...

anyhoo...to get back what we lost...

[dell71]

The Great Buck Howard
Directed by Sean McGinly.
2009. Rated PG, 90 minutes.
Cast:
John Malkovich
Colin Hanks
Emily Blunt
Ricky Jay
Steve Zahn
Adam Scott
Debra Monk
Tom Hanks

Mentalist Buck Howard (Malkovich) makes his living performing effects in small, dingy, rundown, half empty theaters all across the nation. He seems to think he�s a bigger star than he actually is. Once upon a time, he really was a big deal. As he�s quick to tell you, he appeared 61 times on �The Tonight Show� with Johnny Carson. He stresses the fact that it was with Carson and not Leno, whom he despises. He also stresses he�s a mentalist, not a magician. He despises them, also. If you couldn�t tell, Buck is rather insufferable. He�s arrogant, bossy and quick-tempered. Because he is �The Great� Buck Howard, we are somehow beneath him.

Young Troy Gable (Colin Hanks) has just dropped out of law school. He only went because it was his father�s dream for him. His father is played in a small role by Colin�s real life and more famous dad Tom Hanks. Law school made Troy miserable, so he�s trying to find his own way in life.

Troy gets hired to be Buck�s new road manager. The guy he�s replacing is supposed to train him but refuses after a big blowup with Buck. Along with Troy, we learn that big blowups are an almost daily occurrence in Buck�s world.

John Malkovich plays the role perfectly. We can see the patience for us mere mortals leaving his face when things aren�t going exactly according to plan. This, combined with the near constant ravings of a disillusioned man creates tension and comedy. Perhaps the best example of this is when one of his adoring fans (he does, in fact, have a loyal following) who happens to run one of the theaters he plays decides to do an impromptu introduction of him instead of using his pre-taped one. His reaction is priceless. He makes the movie fun to watch.

Despite all this, The Great Buck Howard is hardly about Buck Howard. It�s more about Troy and the lesson Buck teaches him. Thankfully, it does a good job of making us wait for that lesson. It also manages to transform the unlikeable Buck into a sympathetic figure. By the way, for fans of magicians�er�mentalists, Buck is loosely based on The Amazing Kreskin (google is your friend, here).

It�s not a comedy for most of the Hot Tub Time Machine crowd, but it is funny. The story is told well and provides us with plenty of ups and downs. Every time it seems he�s set things up perfectly to get his next big break, something goes wrong. Almost everytime, but I�ll say no more. Best of all and perhaps key to Buck as a character, try as we might, we never find out just how Buck Howard manages to be so great.

The Opposite View: Bob Mondello, NPR

What the Internet Says: 6.7/10 on imdb.com (7/6/10), 72% on rottentomatoes.com, 63/100 on metacritic.com

MY SCORE: 7.5/10

[dell71]

Michael Jackson's
This is It
Directed by Kenny Ortega.
2009. Rated PG, 111 minutes.
Cast:
Michael Jackson
Kenny Ortega
Stacy Walker
Brittany Perry-Russell
Mo Pleasure
Jonathan Moffett

The King of Pop prepares for his then upcoming European concert tour shortly before his untimely passing in 2009. We get a glimpse at the work, creativity and craftsmanship that goes into a massive production such as an MJ show. We see dancers auditioned, routines rehearsed, apparatuses tested and of course, lots of songs sang.

We learn that Michael is an effective boss. The fact everyone around him is clearly in awe of him doesn�t faze him. He never wields his iconic status as a weapon. There is no ranting, raving or putting his foot down. He lets everyone do their job but is adamant without being abrasive when he wants something changed or done a certain way. This way they�re more than just performers in his show, they�re part of and share in his vision.

At Michael Jackson�s funeral, Rev. Al Sharpton told MJ�s children �Your daddy wasn�t strange. It was strange what your daddy had to deal with.� Indeed, very few people have had to contend with the extreme levels of adoration and scrutiny he has. Over four decades of it has not only affected him, but us as well. So while watching this, I realized how much Michael had become an object in our minds. As children we don�t realize that famous people have to do all the mundane things that regular folks do. Michael had become an amalgamation of hit songs, tabloid gossip, rumor, innuendo, plastic surgery and outrageous assumptions. Whether our beliefs about him are founded or not, we sometimes forget he was a person. This led to an odd moment for me. He walks into a rehearsal eating something from his hand, candy or grapes or something else small, I couldn�t tell. It gave me a moment of pause. I actually realized that despite having grown up with him and watching him for all of the nearly 40 years of my own existence, I had never seen him eating before. I�m not a child anymore and know that he did. However, he had become such a �thing� to me, a figure so far removed from reality that it was weird to see him do something so normal.

This is It has a number of moments like this. They�re fascinating if for no other reason than it�s Michael Jackson doing it, or saying it. This is most evident when he was interacting with and instructing the band. I think I�ll forever remember his body language as he tells them �You�ve got to let it simmer.�

Speaking of the music, since most of, if not all of us know the songs I won�t go into it. I will say if you�re not a Michael Jackson fan, this probably isn�t for you. Even if you are, beware this isn�t a straight concert film though there are plenty of numbers performed. It�s simply about watching the man put his show together.

The Opposite View: Lou Lumenick, New York Post

What the Internet Says: 7.3/10 on imdb.com (7/7/10), 81% on rottentomatoes.com, 67/100 on metacritic.com

MY SCORE: 7.5/10

[dell71]

The Book of Eli
Directed by the Hughes Brothers.
2010. Rated R, 118 minutes.
Cast:
Denzel Washington
Gary Oldman
Mila Kunis
Jennifer Beals
Ray Stevenson
Michael Gambon
Evan Jones
Joe Pingue

After �The Flash� much of the world�s population has been killed. The lucky survivors have restarted life anew amidst desolate conditions. It�s a world where alcohol wipes are an extremely valuable commodity since soap is apparently non-existent. He who possesses water also possesses immense power. Of course, many of those in power are evil. Carnegie (Oldman) is one of these men. Yes, he is evil.

Carnegie is also a collector of another rare commodity, books. He seeks one particular book which he feels will give him unlimited power over what he calls �the weak and desperate�. That book is none other than The Holy Bible. You see, shortly after �The Flash� they were all sought out and destroyed. However, we learn that one copy of the good book survives. It is in the hands, rather backpack of Eli (Washington). He�s on a mission to deliver it somewhere out �west� and he�s not letting anyone else get their grubby paws on it. Remember, there�s no soap so we�re talking literally grubby paws, I digress. I wouldn�t suggest getting in Eli�s path or threatening him in any way. People tend to end up dead that way.

From this, we get a parable that�s divisive, much like religion itself. The naysayers will quickly point out the ridiculousness of all Eli accomplishes given a certain fact about him which I won�t spoil. Supporters will note that it�s a metaphor, not meant to be taken literally. Count me among the supporters. I find it a brilliant portrayal of a biblical saying I�ve heard numerous times, even during this movie. Honestly speaking, if taken at face value it�s an easy-to-dismiss movie. Think a little deeper and it makes perfect sense. It has the conviction to follow through to a difficult conclusion. For directors, Albert and Allen Hughes this is their best film since the similarly perplexing Dead Presidents.

If the religious angle doesn�t move you in the slightest way, but you�re an action fan then still give it a look for the sizable amount of swift and brutal violence. Gary Oldman is also great, as usual. He gives us a villain that knows he�s the bad guy. However, he desperately wants to appear good so that he can be worse. You might have to see it for that to make sense. That stuff is fun to watch as the movie unfolds. Still, it�s all that deep stuff that sticks with me.

The Opposite View: Kim Newman, Empire

What the Internet Says: 6.9/10 on imdb.com (7/11/10), 47% on rottentomatoes.com, 53/100 on metacritic.com

MY SCORE: 8/10

[dell71]

Surrogates
Directed by Jonathan Mostow.
2009. Rated PG-13, 89 minutes.
Cast:
Bruce Willis
James Cromwell
Rosamund Pike
Ving Rhames
Boris Kodjoe
Radha Mitchell
Jack Noseworthy
James Francis Ginty

Someone has developed a weapon that not only kills surrogates but also simultaneously murders their human operators. Surrogates are robots that people purchase to literally do their living for them. Human beings simply sit in a �stem chair�, remini$cent of what Neo and company used to plug into the Matrix. However, instead of controlling what is essentially a digitized version of who you want to be, you control of robotic one. You think it, it does it. This goes for speech, work, play and even facial expressions. And your surrogate doesn�t have to look like you or even be of the same sex. If you�re familiar with the game �The Sims�, just imagine that taken through its logical technological evolution. Surrogates are apparently extremely affordable because nearly every person has one. Therefore, almost nothing but robots roam the streets. Any real human being that dares show his face in public is referred to as a �meat bag.�

When the first murder takes place early on, and we indeed learn it is the first homicide in quite some time, Det. Tom Greer (Willis) is on the case. When his surrogate is irreparably damaged he has to venture out into the world himself to try and solve the crime. Of course, as is the way in movies we learn that this is much bigger than one killing. Lots of twists and turns follow. If you�re not paying attention it can become confusing. Still, it�s confusing in a good way. The action is solid if mostly unremarkable, save for one particular chase scene in which we see what surrogates are capable of. They can�t quite fly, but let�s just say they make LeBron James swooping in for a monster dunk look like he barely got off the ground.

The premise and the quest to figure out who�s who are more intriguing than the action and rightfully dominate the picture. Though the battle between those for and agains surrogacy is on full display, other potentially tougher issues are vaguely hinted at but never explored in any meaningful way. Chief among them being what will happen to the world�s population. Does it start to dwindle? Or do people manage to unplug often enough to procreate? How about physically? Are people going to generally become the weakened blobs we saw in Wall-E? We never venture down those paths.

It�s an interesting movie that puts a twist on the oft-used sci fi theme of technology taking over the world. Instead of robots or computers forcefully seizing power, humans have willfully given it away. As a �movie night� popcorn flick, it works but it also gives a little more to think about than most. However, if you find yourself confused early on you might check out and think both this film and I are crazy.

The Opposite View: David Hiltbrand, Philadelphia Inquirer

What the Internet Says: 6.3/10 on imdb.com (7/12/10), 39% on rottentomatoes.com, 45/100 on metacritic.com

MY SCORE: 6/10

[dell71]

The Spy Next Door
Directed by Brian Levant.
2010. Rated PG, 95 minutes.
Cast:
Jackie Chan
Amber Valletta
Madeline Carroll
Will Shadley
Magus Scheving
Billy Ray Cyrus
George Lopez

Bob Ho (Chan) is a spy on loan to the US from China. Given the climate of America�s current relations with China, let that marinate a bit. Okay, let�s move on. Bog has fallen in love with Gillian (Valletta), a single mom of three. One small problem: her kids hate him. He decides to retire, it seems largely because he�s tired to lying to her about his job. When she has to go out of town he leaps at the chance to babysit, hoping for a chance to bond with the kids and change their opinion of him. Of course, the bad guy he busted at the beginning of the movie has escaped and is trying to take over the world�or something. Kung fu hijinks and spy shenanigans ensue.

With only a little more info about the children, you could start penning the script and without having seen it but remembering it�s a Disney movie, you�ll probably end up with something fairly close to what actually plays out on screen. If you doubt me, I�ll give you the tools you need to test my theory. The oldest daughter needs a serious attitude adjustment. The boy is a pathological teller of harmless lies and a wide-eyed geek who�s probably seen a Jackie Chan movie or twelve. The youngest girl constantly says and does annoying things that are supposed to be cute. Go.

Okay, so you don�t want to spend the 20 minutes it would take to actually write it down but you get the picture. The one thing you won�t be able to get near are the acrobatic and frenetic action scenes that are Jackie Chan�s signature and the saving grace of this movie. Admittedly, these aren�t top-notch, seeming to defy the laws of physics Chan scenes but they�re still fun and funnier than any of the so-called jokes in the script.

Between fight scenes, all sorts of cornball stuff wrapped in cheesy dialogue goes on. It�s nothing we haven�t seen a dozen times before. In fact, while watching it I kept wondering �Isn�t it way too soon for a remake of The Pacifier?

The Opposite View: Prairie Miller, NewsBlaze

What the Internet Says: 5.2/10 on imdb.com (7/13/10), 12% on rottentomatoes.com, 27/100 on metacritic.com

MY SCORE: 4/10

[dell71]

Shutter Island
Directed by Martin Scorcese.
2009. Rated R, 138 minutes.
Cast:
Leonardo DiCaprio
Mark Ruffalo
Ben Kingsley
Max von Sydow
Jackie Earle Haley
Michelle Williams
Emily Mortimer
Patricia Clarkson
Ted Levine
John Carroll Lynch

It�s 1954 and federal agent Teddy Daniels (DiCaprio) is sent to Shutter Island to investigate the escape of a patient from the mental institution. Actually, that�s redundant. The entire island basically serves as the mental institution. We learn that it�s where they keep the criminally insane. Though the faculty seems to want the issue resolved, they put up various walls of resistance. Our hero is having a hard time getting results.

Agent Daniels also has ulterior motives. It seems he�s had prior dealings with a mysteriously inconspicuous patient and is quite suspicious of what might really be going on in this remote location. He vows to his partner Chuck (Ruffalo) to get to the bottom of things.

As we follow the proceedings, we�re sucked in and wondering how our hero is going to save the day. We get hints along the way that saving the day may be impossible. We can eventually guess where this is all going. That�s normally a death knell. Here, it�s fine because it does something lesser movies don�t. It defiantly straddles the fence, not choosing either of the two possible outcomes it gives us. Neither is very pleasant. Yet, we still feel the need to decipher what we�ve seen, trying to extract the film�s truth. To be, or not to be really is the question. Supporters of both will have plenty of evidence to support their interpretation.

Once again teaming up with director Martin Scorcese, DiCaprio turns in another great performance. For Scorcese, it�s a departure from the norm. This is no gritty urban crime drama, but his storytelling is as effective as ever.

The drawback is that it runs too long. There is a scene in which the movie climaxes by giving us the two options to decide between. The next two or three minutes flesh out one of them. If the Coen Brothers had directed this, it would�ve ended right there, probably without those few minutes but abruptly stopping right when�I�ll let you see it. Scorcese drags it on too long after that, almost explaining too much.

�SI� is a top notch psychological thriller. It diminishes its own predictability with a heavy dose of ambiguity. It also plays with our heads by using lots of smoke and mirrors, but in a good way. This isn�t your uncle pulling a penny out of your ear, it�s a really slick sleight of hand David Blaine would be proud of.


The Opposite View: A.O. Scott, New York Times

What the Internet Says: 8.0/10 on imdb.com (7/16/10), 67% on rottentomatoes.com, 63/100 on metacritic.com

MY SCORE: 8.5/10

[dell71]

And to add a little...

[dell71]

The Wolf Man
Directed by George Waggner.
1941. Not Rated 70 minutes.
Cast:
Lon Chaney
Evelyn Ankers
Claude Rains
Ralph Bellamy
Warren Williams
Patrick Knowles
Bela Lugosi
Maria Ouspenskaya

After his brother�s death, Larry Talbot (Chaney) comes home to help run the family business. While out with the ladies one night, he�s bitten by a wolf that has attacked one of the girls and believes that he has been transformed into a werewolf. This is a movie much less about thrills and chills than about psychological examination. Is he really a werewolf? Or is he just imagining things? The former couldn�t possibly be true, could it? Then again, how possible is the latter?

Lon Chaney is excellent as the bewildered man. It has become his signature role. Surprisingly, Maria Ouspenskaya betters him as an old gypsy woman, giving the movie much of it�s foreboding mood. By today�s standards it�s never visually stimulating enough but unlike the original King Kong which came out almost a decade earlier, it never really tries. Like I said, this is more about a man questioning his own sanity than about the monster terrorizing us.

MY SCORE: 8/10

The Wolfman
Directed by Joe Johnston.
2010. Rated R, 119 minutes (unrated director�s cut).
Cast:
Benicio del Toro
Anthony Hopkins
Emily Blunt
Art Malik
Geraldine Chaplin
Nicholas Day
Simon Merrells
Michael Cronin

�Pop, since I�m the bigger man I�m willing to let bygones be bygones so that we can find my brother.� Essentially, this is what Lawrence Talbot (del Toro) says to his father upon his return home. Since this is the late 1800s Lawrence doesn�t have a cell phone or a car. He�s been traveling for days and isn�t quite ready for dad�s response. Basically, dad (Hopkins) says �Oh, didn�t ya hear? We found your brother�s body this morning.� A simple text reading �R.I.P. Simon� (Merrells) might�ve changed things dramatically.

Then again, that might not have changed things at all. You see, big bro decides to pay his respects and discovers what we knew all along, a werewolf has torn him to shreds. Going into a rather tame version of �I will avenge my brother�s death� mode, he still visits all the old haunts where his younger sibling hung out. Despite being rich, little bro apparently was into gypsy chicks so Larry makes a beeline for there spot in the woods. Anyhoo, one thing leads to another and wouldn�t ya know it? Ol� Lawrence almost gets separated from life by a werewolf, too.

If you�ve seen the 1941 original, then you�ll realize that to this point it is pretty much the same movie. However, there a few drastic difference which change it enough to make it stand, or fall, on its own. First, this one amps up Lawrence�s depression and tries to be real atmospheric. It uses a look and tone that�s far too dreary to come off as anything other than faux angst. I call this �the Twilight factor.� Next, we witness a greater number of transformations and werewolf attacks. Both are in terrifically graphic detail. This was expected but still works very much in its favor. Finally, instead of the self torment that put himself through in the older movie, we get kind of a Vader/Skywalker thing going on. It works okay but not as good as what we had.

Out of all this we get a decent, though not completely unexpected twist. That�s not completely unexpected as in we can see it coming a mile away. Still, it�s well played, dramatically speaking. Aesthetically, it comes off kind of hokey, mostly because of who�s involved. That said, this film is not the bane of society some have claimed it to be. It�s actually not that bad of an update.

Even though I thought it was okay I can�t help but think that it would�ve so much more goofy fun if it were set in the present. I can just imagine his public transformation taking place in Target or Wal-Mart and some teenage girl hiding behind the jewelry counter texting �sum freeks 5 oclock shad gone wild lol!� TTYL.

The Opposite View: Annlee Ellingson, Moving Pictures Magazine

What the Internet Says: 6.1/10 on imdb.com (7/21/10), 33% on rottentomatoes.com, 43/100 on metacritic.com

MY SCORE: 6/10

[dell71]

Dark Country
Directed by Thomas Jane.
2009. Rated R, 88 minutes (unrated director�s cut).
Cast:
Thomas Jane
Lauren German
Chris Browning
Ron Perlman

It starts with a dame (German). At least that�s what our hero (Jane) tells us. You know, Double Indemnity, Body Heat, The Maltese Falcon and even Spiderman all started because of a dame. Those first three movies are classics, Spiderman, not so much but I like it well enough. Sorry, I got distracted.

Anyhoo, our hero met this particular dame in Vegas and married her after a night of drunken passion. Once, back in my younger days I was willing to get married after a night of drunken flirting. No, there was no actual passion. Anyone who�s ever seen me in person knows I stand about as tall as most middle-schoolers. She was an Amazonian 6�4� college volleyball player who must�ve had a fetish for short guys because she showed interest in me, believe it or not. She had a gorgeous face and curves�wait, I can�t tell that story. My wife might be reading this. No worries babe, this happened years before I laid eyes on you.

Oh, the movie. The loving couple decides to take a drive through the desert, at night. Along the way they narrowly miss hitting some guy standing in the middle of the road. The whole setup reminds me of a segment from Creepshow 2. Anyone who�s ever seen it will remember �Hey lady, thanks for the ride!� The finale of Dark Country also reminds me of an episode of The Twilight Zone tv series. Both of those have the good sense to only last about 30 minutes long. I had a problem with the mouse to my desktop. It was taking me 30 minutes to do things that should take about five. Right, you don�t care about that.

Why am I so easily distracted during this review? Honestly, DC isn�t really worthy of my attention, or yours for that matter. For most of an hour and a half these two nit-wits drive along a dark road trying to figure out what to do with the guy in the back seat who is apparently dying but is just too stubborn to complete the pass. That hour and a half seems closer to a day and a half.

Visually, it looks like it was made on a computer. I know, lots of movies are made on computers these days. However, this one looks like it was made on your computer. I�m not talking about the brand new, trillion GB, bazillion K memory thing dipped into your life savings for. I�m talking about the one you pawned off on your grandparents are donated to the Salvation Army, the one that doesn�t work with anything created during this century. You�re still not quite sure it�s even Y2K compatible and think it might explode if someone actually tries to turn it on.

I�ve already mentioned that DC makes me think of The Twilight Zone. In fact, it could be an outstanding episode if you trimmed about an hour. As a full-length feature, it�s just too thin and dull. The big �wow� climax tries to save it, but can�t quite rescue it from the ashes. By the way, this is the directorial debut of the movie�s star Thomas Jane. If I were him, I wouldn�t claim it.

MY SCORE: 3/10

[Fox1994]

lol @ "don't worry babe. This happened years before I ever laid eyes on you."

[NAHSTE]

The Book of Eli

Saw this a few weeks back and really liked it. Sure it's kind of rendered implausible by the conclusion, but who cares, it's a fucking movie right?

I really dug it, but I'm a sucker for any half-decent decent Denzel movie.

[dell71]

Saw this a few weeks back and really liked it. Sure it's kind of rendered implausible by the conclusion, but who cares, it's a fucking movie right?

I really dug it, but I'm a sucker for any half-decent decent Denzel movie.

In this case, it's supposed to be implausible. It's a metaphor for a religious saying that is uttered a couple times during the movie...

 

Walk by faith, not by sight.