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Newcastle, Champions League bound?
Seriously though, Pardew deserves some credit. Ashley left him out to dry with no left back and no striker. Ryan Taylor is playing better than I could hope for at LB, and Best is looking like a decent Premier League striker. Ba got a hat trick today, Ben Arfa came back, and Marveaux got 15 minutes. It's a shallow team, but with a run of luck the top half isn't out of reachComment
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David De Gea bombscare! Even when he's got a cleansheet.Comment
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Just for shits and giggles end of season prediction ...
1. Man U
2. Man City
3. Chelsea
4. Tottenham
5. Liverpool
6. Aston Villa
7. Arsenal
8. Stoke
9. Newcastle
10. Everton
11. Fulham
12. West Brom
13. Queens Park Rangers
14. Wolverhampton
15. Sunderland
16. Bolton
17. Wigan
18. Norwich
19. Blackburn
20. SwanseaComment
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I lol'd
A is for Abramovich. The comedy genius who made all of this possible. Oh, wait. It wasn’t supposed to go like this? He owns Chelsea? Awkward…
B is for business. Excellent business, to be exact. Liverpool received £50million for Torres and bought Suarez to replace him for less than half of that price. Whether you love Liverpool or hate them, it’s hard to deny the brilliance of that deal.
C is for confidence. Some say this is all he needs before he starts scoring for fun again, some say it’s much worse than that at this point. It’s obvious he’s lacking confidence in front of goal if you ask me, but that certainly isn’t the only problem.
D is for denial. If I had £1 for every time I’ve heard “he’ll come good. Just wait. He’ll score a few in the next game. He’s worth the £50million.” I’d have… well… around £20. That’s not the point, though…
E is for Emile Heskey. When your goalscoring record is being compared to his, you know things aren’t going well…
F is for Fernando Torres. A few years ago he was regarded as one of the best strikers in the world – now he isn’t even the best Fernando Torres in the world. (Fernando Llorente Torres from Athletic Bilbao, if you’re wondering.)
G is for goals. Torres has 2 of these in 24 league games for Chelsea, giving him an average of 1 per 12 games. It also means, as things stand, Chelsea have paid £25million per goal…
H is for “How the f**k did he miss that?!” - A phrase of choice amongst Chelsea fans almost every time Torres has a shot.
I is for Iscariot. Judas Iscariot, that is... The disciple who famously betrayed Jesus in the bible. Many Liverpool fans adopted this name for Torres after he left Anfield.
J is for jokes. Even though most of them are the same old recycled Emile Heskey jokes, you’ve got to love them. My personal favourite has to be “Some call Wayne Rooney the ‘white Pele’ – by that logic is Fernando Torres the ‘white Heskey’?” – if you have any jokes, please leave them in the comments section!
K is for Kop. Torres shouldn’t have left Liverpool. The fans adored him and he was well on the way to being a club legend.
L is for locks. Torres’ hairstyle - complete with headband - has been the centre-piece of several of the jokes I mentioned in ‘J’.
M is for miss of the century.
N is for national team. Torres used to be a regular for Spain, but his form has cost him his place. He was dropped from the last squad and doesn’t look to be regaining his place any time soon with players like Llorente and Soldado playing as well as they are.
O is for open net. No explanation needed.
P is for pounds. Chelsea spent 50,000,000 of them on Torres. See ‘R’ for a follow-up.
Q is for quick. Torres was once thought of as one of the paciest players in the Premier League. Since joining Chelsea he has looked a yard off the pace in most games. There have also been questions over his fitness.
R is for receipt. I hope Roman Abramovich kept his…
S is for substitute. Torres has been dropped several times, but surely pressure from the Chelsea hierarchy will keep him in the team in the long-term. I don’t see a £50million investment being left to rot on the bench.
T is for tirade. Torres hit out at his Chelsea team-mates in the media (before saying the meaning of what he said was ‘lost in translation’) claiming they were to blame for his form. He said their players are “too old and slow”. He’s looking at you, Frank…
U is for unbelievable. I don’t mean to sound like a broken record, but some of the chances Torres has missed lately have been literally unbelievable. You’d bet on your nan to tuck at least half of them away.
V is for value for money. This is one thing Fernando Torres certainly does not represent.
W is for world class. Torres was once commonly known as this. Now, not so much. People say “form is temporary, class is permanent” – I guess only time will tell…
X is for X chromosomes. According to most Liverpool fans, Fernando Torres has two of these.
Y is for years. It’s going to be several of these before we see a miss worst than his attempt at Old Trafford.
Z is for Z. The row in which most of Torres’ stray shots end up…Comment
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I'm assuming that's what M was referring to.
Bwahahaha that's awful.Comment
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I'm not sure if I'm being over critical of Everton. Their starting lineup is still good and they're managed by the awesome David Moyes but I worry about their depth and who they might lose in January also.
I definitely disagree that Villa have been lucky. A great goalkeeper and a great defensive record, coupled with the worst shooting efficiency in the league. They could actually have more points than they do now.Comment
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Just purchased these shirts. +rep to heels.
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Im watching Sunderland and Norwich right now....Sunderland are fucking awful, and Norwich is all over em.
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:pissed:
It's funny how the pace picked up when we subbed in Wickham and Ji Wong-Don, and especially so after the score.
I think Bruce needs to swallow his ego and lay rest to the Sessegnon experiment up front. He just isn't cutting it as a forward. Bendtner isn't the answer up front either and I really think they need to give Wickham and Ji looks in the starting lineup. They are hungry players and that's really what SAFC needs at this point. Bendtner is a little entitled prick and everyone else is too scared to make a play.
Oh but one thing Brucey has done well lately is keeping Cattermole out of the lineup. Never cared for the injury ridden loser.
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Not sure if I'm more amused by United scraping for a late draw with FC Basel at home, or Man City getting straight out-classes in Germany by Bayern...
I best enjoy it now, cuz I probalby won't be as amused tomorow when Arsenal get worked by Olympiakos at the Emirates...Comment
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Apparently Tevez refused to come on as a sub today. He's probably gone in January now. I can't believe City just lets him rot on the bench. He is probably one of the 5 best strikers in the world and he doesn't even touch the field.
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