Catching Controversy | The Legend of Ethan Woy

[G-men]

also great game against tussey.

and because of an absence of shwayzed...

cody swope gets so mad that woy completely tore him apart that he goes on a rampage. he decides to attack a random bystander on the street, who turns out to be sidney crosby. swope rips crobsy's skates out of his hands and slits his neck with them, causing crosby to bleed out and die.

 

[Woy]

No fackin waiiII!!!! Woy is such a boss pimp. Lmao.

I try, I try.

250 yards and 4 TD's? Hot damn, son.

What do I say? Woy shows up in the biggest games.

Oh lawdy. You should go to Virginia Tech. :twinkle: Numba one fan if you do.

They are being considered. Look at the Rivals page.

jeezus, great game. just consider indiana. he'd be getting passed to 90% of the time, and he'd be in the big 10.

We'll have to see where he goes. Big 10 right now is a strong possibility.

another great write up from woy. glad to see woy get the win over tussey. I like his attitude haha.

He's a very confident young man.

you should go to rutgers. who wouldnt want jabu lovelace throwing to them?

We'll see. I like how everyone's throwing out their favorite school and saying, "go there!"

BEAST part 2 was worth the wait

Thank you Lumpkin.

also great game against tussey.

and because of an absence of shwayzed...

cody swope gets so mad that woy completely tore him apart that he goes on a rampage. he decides to attack a random bystander on the street, who turns out to be sidney crosby. swope rips crobsy's skates out of his hands and slits his neck with them, causing crosby to bleed out and die.

Lol. He should be around sometime.

Maybe another update tonight, depends how quickly I can write one.

 

[G-men]

i thought i did a pretty could job filling in though.

 

[Shwayzed]

also great game against tussey.

and because of an absence of shwayzed...

cody swope gets so mad that woy completely tore him apart that he goes on a rampage. he decides to attack a random bystander on the street, who turns out to be sidney crosby. swope rips crobsy's skates out of his hands and slits his neck with them, causing crosby to bleed out and die.

Not bad.. but leave it to the pro's (me), kid.


Switching it up a bit. The hype for this game was so great, Sidney Crosby even bet BIG on Tussey to win at a local bookie. Once they lost, the bookie came banging on Crosby's door, looking for his money. Sid the kid freaked out under the pressure and mis-wrote his name on the check (lolz bookies take checkz?!). It bounces obviously and an enraged bookie comes knocking on his door. The panic sets in and Sid the Kid literally shits himself to the extent his bowels came out of his anus, causing immense pain and bleeding.


He would be found later in a pool of his own blood, with a scared look on his face as his bowels hang out of his anus.

 

[G-men]

Not bad.. but leave it to the pro's (me), kid.


Switching it up a bit. The hype for this game was so great, Sidney Crosby even bet BIG on Tussey to win at a local bookie. Once they lost, the bookie came banging on Crosby's door, looking for his money. Sid the kid freaked out under the pressure and mis-wrote his name on the check (lolz bookies take checkz?!). It bounces obviously and an enraged bookie comes knocking on his door. The panic sets in and Sid the Kid literally shits himself to the extent his bowels came out of his anus, causing immense pain and bleeding.


He would be found later in a pool of his own blood, with a scared look on his face as his bowels hang out of his anus.

i just died a little

 

[Woy]

Working on the update now. It'll be another two parter, but kind of for obvious reasons.

 

[Woy]

Homecoming (Part 1)

After the huge win over rival Tussey Mountain, we continued to roll over opponents: 66-0 over conference cupcake West Branch and 49-21 over the Rockets of Southern Huntingdon. Then we traveled up north to face the Trojans of Mount Union. In a downpour, both offenses struggled, but we came away with a close victory, 14-11. That left us 7-0 on the season and the following week was our homecoming. That meant three things: hot girls in short dresses, lots of booze, and a shitty opponent that night.

"So who do you think won homecoming king Richard?"

"Who cares man, haha. I just want to get some playing time."

"And there's our Homecoming king candidates! Let's give them a round of applause. The tradition is that the king is announced at the football game, and the queen will be announced at the dance. So without further adieu, your 2008 Homecoming king is..."

"Let this shit be over, I just want to get the game started."

"Ethan Woy!"

"Congratulations Brad."

"Dude, what are you talking about? You won."

"No, really I don't care that you won...wait what?"

"Yeah, get your ass up there. You're holding up the game."

Shocked and sort of embrrassed, I walked up to the middle of our sideline. Our athletic director placed the crown on my head and whispered something in my ear.

"Listen, I know Williamsburg's a joke, but you can't hold anything back."

"And why's that?"

"Look in the top right corner."

I looked to see three older men. One was wearing a maroon polo, one was in an orange sweatshirt, and the last one was wearing a dark red button-down.

"More scouts?"

"Not just any scouts. Try ones from Virginia Tech, Texas, and Florida State."

"Damn, word's getting out about me I guess."

"Yes sir. Now run up to the lockerroom and join your teammates."

I shook his hand and ran up to the lockerroom. When I arrived there, I was hearing it from everyone.

"Can I wear your crown Ethan?"

"Do I have to throw you the ball twenty times tonight, your highness?"

"May I have permission to fuck your queen?"

"Shut it guys, haha."

Coach came out of his office and had some words for me as well.

"Mind I ask you why you were late Mr. Woy?"

"Crowning ceremony Coach. I didn't want to be there."

"Who cares. You're benched."

"What? You can't do that!"

"Oh yes I can Ethan. Now take a seat."

I got ready to toss my helmet across the lockerroom, but Coach stopped me.

"Just a minute Ethan. Can't our Homecoming king take a joke?"

My teammates started to laugh. It was good that we were so loose and ready to play.

"You got me Coach. Okay guys, your highness has a few words to say to you. One, these guys suck. Two, I better have a hot queen to join me tonight. And three, mainly to Bill, you better have a fucking sweet party after the dance."

"Who always throws the best parties?"

"You bro. Now, who are we?"

"EVERETT!"

"I said, who the fuck are we?"

"EVERETT!"

"Win on three! One, two, three..."

"WIN!"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------​

"And Ethan Woy is in the endzone for a second time tonight. Everett leads Williamsburg, 34-0."

It was that kind of night. We ended up winning 56-0, and after a half of play, I had 9 catches, for 123 yards and two touchdowns. When I was walking off the field, the three scouts stopped me. These weren't your typical scouts, however.

"Mack Brown?"

"In the flesh kid. Mr. Woy, you have a lot of potential. How would you like it if you came down to Austin to play for Longhorns?"

Red River Rivalry. National Championship over USC. Vince Young. I lost money betting against them in that Rose Bowl that year, but still, you have to respect the tradition surrounding that program.

"Wow Mr. Brown, I'm honored. I'll stay in touch."

"Please, call me Coach."

Next the man in the Virginia Tech polo walked up to me.

"Frank Beamer. Pleasure to meet you Ethan. You catch the ball better than anyone I have seen in a while. We haven't had a top-flight receiver in a long time and were wondering if you'd like to fill that void."

ACC champions. Michael Vick. Beamer Ball. They have a very nice program as well and plus I bet it would be tons of fun to catch passes from Tyrod Taylor.

"Pleasure's all mine Coach Beamer. I'll be in contact."

Finally, the "scout" from Florida State walked up to me.

"Bobby Bowden?"

"That's right. Young man, you have the same type of confidence I've only seen in one other player of mine; Deion Sanders. I'm not saying you would be a cornerback, but I could definitely see you making a big-time impact with the Seminoles right way like Neon Deion did."

Neon Deion. Doak Campbell Stadium. Second most winningest coach in NCAA Division one history. I wasn't a Florida State fan by any means, but they have a great program. One of my favorite all-time players, Deion Sanders, came from there and comparing me to him was an honor.

"I will definitely look into it Coach."

Three more offers from three top-tier programs, what a night.

But the night was still young...

9 catches, 123 yards, 2 TD

 

[packersfan4eva]

nice update. who's the homecoming queen?

 

[Woy]

nice update. who's the homecoming queen?

They announce it at the dance.

 

[packersfan4eva]

woy, did u know this is the 4th most replied to ncaa chise in vsn history? congrats

 

[Woy]

Thats in part two

Dude you better have a threesome and nut all over them in the second update, but it will probably be some twist like they find out about the money or they find you partying....either way, I'm excited.

You better be excited.

woy, did u know this is the 4th most replied to ncaa chise in vsn history? congrats

And to think, we're not even in the state playoffs yet. This is going to have a shitload of posts.

"May I have permission to fuck your queen?" <--- lmfao, nice stuff Woy.

And Part 2...? I'm guessing this isn't football related...

Good stuff as always Woy



ps - I'm writing Episode 6 right now, but I have a feeling you will beat me, lol

That's Bill's personality, lol. And you're right about it not being football related, most of the updates aren't.

Working on another, will be up tomorrow.

 

[goDawgs1433]

Great update, Woy. I would go to FSU - I've always loved the Garnet and Gold and have seen numerous games at Doak...always had respect for that program.

 

[Woy]

Why does this have to be :jhenbeatkwon: ? Keep it up E. :thumbsup:

You tell me why it's :jhenbeatkwon:.

Great update, Woy. I would go to FSU - I've always loved the Garnet and Gold and have seen numerous games at Doak...always had respect for that program.

I have respect for them, but I don't really care for their team at all. We'll have to see.

FSU is a great school but you should go to texas. you would have McCoy throwin to you and be in a BCS bowl game every season

Texas is a possibly, like FSU. Again, we'll have to see.

Nice update, go to FSU because they are awesome

PSU > FSU. Paterno > Bowden. :tongue:

Update probably within the next few hours.

 

[Woy]

Homecoming (Part 2)

Coach didn't say much and everyone was booking to get ready for the dance. I jumped in the shower to wash the little sweat I exerted during the game. Once I got ready, I got in the truck and drove to Melyssa's to pick her up.

*KNOCK KNOCK*

"What do you want?"

"You're never going to accept me, huh Troy?"

"Nope. Melyssa!"

"One minute!"

After a little bit of waiting, I started to see those sexy legs of hers come down the stairs.

"Damn, who's this good-looking girl? Hope she doesn't have a date for Homecoming."

"I'm warning you Ethan."

She was wearing a short, skimpy pink dress and her hair was all put up. I knew we were going to have a good time.

"Troy! Great game sweetheart."

"Thanks babe. You could have even scored a few touchdowns against them."

"Haha, they're that bad, huh?"

"Yeah they are."

"Well Mr. Homecoming king isn't looking too bad himself."

"I'm gonna look even better with you around my arm."

"And I'm gonna look good walking in with the king."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------​

"...now everybody in this bitch gettin' tipsy..."

The music was bumping, the girls were smoking, and the night was still young. The lyrics coming through the speakers were the exact thoughts going around everyone's mind on what to do after the dance. After a few hours of grinding and making out with Melyssa, it was time to announce my queen.

"And now it is time to crown the queen. First let's give a hand for our 2008 Homecoming king, Ethan Woy."

I stood up out of my chair and acknowledged the rest of the crowd.

"And now, here's the results. Your 2008 Homecoming queen is..."

"Please be a hot girl, please be a hot girl."

Melyssa gave me the death stare and punched me in the arm.

"What? I don't want to slow dance with an ugly chick."

"...Breann Wilt!"

Whew, what a relief; one of my best friends.

"The king and queen will dance together as will the rest of the court. Thank you for coming out and be safe tonight."

The lights dimmed and the music slowed down as I grabbed Breann by the waist.

"Wow, I'm surprised I won."

"Well I'm glad you did. I wanted you to win more than any of those girls."

"Really? Awh thanks Ethan."

"No problem."

"I have a question."

"Shoot."

"Have you ever thought about there ever being an us?"

That shocked me a little, and I was wondering why she asked me this now.

"What brought that up?"

"Oh, I've just been thinking a lot lately. Mainly about how fast this year going so far, and what would my life be like if this or that happened."

"I see. Well, not trying to be hard on you, but that thought kind of ended when you chose Dan over me."

"I know, and that was a huge mistake. He hasn't been there for me really at all."

"Yeah true. And I've always been there for you..."

"I know. And that's why I've felt..."

"...as a friend. I had those feelings once Breann, but I'm happy with Melyssa now."

"I understand and see that. You're still an amazing guy, Ethan."

"And you are an amazing girl, Breann."

The music started to slowly fade out and the lights started to turn on. That meant one thing...

"Party at my house!"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------​

Bill's house was completely packed - there must have been at least 100 kids there. Kegs, coolers, and drama; all made for a great party.

I skipped the beer went to the real stuff, some Captain and some Bacardi. After everyone had a good bit of drinks in them, I went to play some pong with Bill, Brad, and Zach.

"Woy fires, shoots...and swish! That's the game. Drink up Bill."

"It's not fair when you have the two best shooters on the basketball team playing against two non-basketball players."

"Excuses, excuses. Rack them up, I want another game."

"Ethan, look to your right."

"What Brad?"

I looked over to see Dan, in his drunken state of mind, hitting on Melyssa.

"Listen baby, you need to leave Ethan."

"And why is that?"

"Because I can show you things that he can't, and..."

I struck the right side of his cheek with my fist. He started stumbling backwards and then tripped over a stump, causing him to fall and smack his head on the hard ground. I waited for him to get up, but it looked like he already had too much to drink and was passed out.

"No one messes with my girl."

Suddenly, I heard sirens go off.

"Everyone get out of here!"

I started dashing to my truck with Melyssa. I pulled out right before the cops got there and took every back road back to her house.

"Whew, that was close. Get me some gum. I need to get this alcohol scent out of my breath."

"Okay."

I packed five pieces of gum in my mouth, laid on the couch and turned on the TV.

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

"Hello Officer?"

"Were you at a party by any chance..."

Fuck, I've been caught. Goodbye scholarships, hello McDonald's.

"...oh wait, aren't you Ethan Woy?"

"Yes I am."

"Great season so far kid. Please lead us to a District title. We haven't had one in so long."

"I want to win State, Officer."

"I like your confidence kid. Umm, let's forget this ever happened and keep this on the down low, okay?"

"Thank you Officer."

"No problem. Just don't get into any trouble tonight, you two."

"Haha, alright. Bye."

I shut the door and made my way back to the couch.

"Wow, what a night."

"It's not over yet. I still haven't given the king his prize."

And it keeps on getting better...

 

[packersfan4eva]

good update. i can't believe he got outta that 1

 

[Mit]

Good update there Woy. Good to see you not get into trouble with the police. No need to get suspended now for partying.

 

[G-men]

i cant believe that cop let you off the hook that easy lol

 

[Woy]

Holy shit, I just realized I'm only two updates away from actually starting this on NCAA 10. Haha.

In the planning stages of an update now, will work on it after I get off of work. 1-9 shift today, a lot better than working 3-11.

 

[Lumpkin]

police can't touch him, ladies are throwing themselves at him, and he is tearing up the gridiron. safe to say Ethan Woy is the fucking man

 

[Woy]

police can't touch him, ladies are throwing themselves at him, and he is tearing up the gridiron. safe to say Ethan Woy is the fucking man

That I am. But you guys shouldn't expect Ethan to continue to live the good life...right?

Working on the next update, should be up around 10-11 EST.