Dell's Good, Bad & Ugly Movie Reviews

[dell71]

The Lone Ranger
Directed by Gore Verbinski.
2013. Rated PG-13, 149 minutes.
Cast:
Johnny Depp
Armie Hammer
William Fichtner
Tom Wilkinson
Ruth Wilson
James Badge Dale
Helena Bonham Carter
Barry Pepper
JD Cullum
Harry Treadaway
Saginaw Grant​

Way back when my age was denoted by a single digit, I made sure to watch three television shows that were made before my birth, but still in syndication. One was "The Adventures of Superman," starring George Reeves. The second was "Batman" with the one and only Adam West in the lead. Finally, to complete the daily triple shot of pre-pubescent testosterone, I watched "The Lone Ranger." I knew that Superman was really the mild-mannered reporter Clark Kent and Batman was millionaire playboy Bruce Wayne. The Lone Ranger was different. That masked man was so mysterious I didn't even know his real name. His secret identity really was just that - a secret! How cool! I guess Tonto knew, but he didn't say much. Besides that, our hero had some other cool things going for himself. He rode that beautiful white horse name Silver and wore a hat that matched her coat. He had a long nosed six-shooter and was so accurate with it he could shoot the gun out of a man's hand from any distance without hitting the hand. Then there was that theme song. Dutta dent, dutta dent, dutta dent dent dent dent - dent dent dent dutta dent....I know, I'm not doing it any justice at all. Maybe this will help...

<iframe width="640" height="360" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/2YnxCVqeIz4?feature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>​

Fast-forward more years than I care to count and The Lone Ranger graces the screen once more. He made it there once in the 80s, but let's pretend that never happened. This time around, we get Armie Hammer taking over the titular role. Okay, not the first person I think of for the part, but not someone who makes me scratch my head, either. The problems start with his role, though not necessarily with him. What I mean is The Lone Ranger is only the third most important element to this whole production. In reality, this is a film all about the director, Gore Verbinski, and the muse he occasionally borrows from Tim Burton, Johnny Depp.

Depp plays our hero's sidekick Tonto. Sort of. It's really some weird amalgamation of Tonto and all of Depp's other face-painted characters. From the Tonto side of the equation, we get all the broken English we can stand, even if it is fairly irregular. From the other side, he brings his now trademark mugging for the camera and often prancing about the set while playing everything for laughs. It gets close to minstrelsy of a Native American hue. It is pretty much the direct opposite of the way the character was portrayed all those moons ago, in a supposedly less enlightened era. Let's keep it real. He was always a walking stereotype. However, no matter how racism or just plain ignorance was explicit in how he was drawn, Tonto was always honorable and prideful. Depp's version may or may not be a pathological liar, is closer to being a court jester than a hero and is at least a little bit insane. I guess if it makes the kids laugh then mission accomplished, right?

This is where Verbinski comes in. He does here what he does with the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. He introduces a lot of colorful characters we should get to know better, but don't, and places our heroes in one life-or-death situation after another. As per his usual, he does it all in a manner that's so silly it's bound to get a few laughs, but not nearly enough to make up for all the gags that fall flat. Finally, he delivers what should be a simplistic plot in a convoluted manner. This starts with where we first met Tonto. He is and exhibit in a museum in 1933. As if this were Night at the Museum, he comes to life and relays the whole adventure to a young boy. It adds nothing to the movie except run-time and a different style of makeup for Depp to perform in. This defines the word extraneous.

Verbinski does give us some exciting set pieces. Early on, we get an amazing scene featuring a runaway locomotive. Sure, it ends in ridiculous fashion, but it's a sight to behold. The climactic battle at the end is also fun. There are also some standouts among the supporting cast. In fact, there are two. One is a cross-dressing henchmen with the IQ of a buffalo head nickel played by Harry Treadaway. He's good for easy laughs. The other is played by Helena Bonham Carter, also on loan from Tim Burton. Here, she appears to be something out of Robert Rodriguez's fantasies. She comes complete with an artificial leg that doubles as a rifle.

Unfortunately, the positives aren't nearly as weighty as the negatives. The good things amount to a few empty thrills. Those looking for lighthearted action may be pleased. Even they won't have much to grab onto, however. The rest of the movie is basically a bunch of stupid stuff happening. As far as our hero, The Lone Ranger himself, well, he's not all that heroic. He whines and complains a lot. He also winds up following Tonto a lot. Only at the end does he change gears. That seems as much about giving him the obligatory shining moment than about him actually developing into that. In other words, this could probably have been titled Tonto: the Movie or Pirates of the Wild West. A whole bunch is going on, there are a few laughs mixed in with some big action sequences that will entertain some viewers while the rest of us will think it's a mess.

MY SCORE: 4.5/10​

 

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Admission
Directed by Paul Weitz.
2013. Rated PG-13, 107 minutes.
Cast:
Tina Fey
Paul Rudd
Michael Sheen
Lily Tomlin
Wallace Shawn
Nat Wolff
Gloria Reuben
Travaris Spears
Christopher Evan Welch
Sonya Walger
Leigha Hancock​

Portia Nathan (Fey) is an admissions officer at Princeton University. She has had this job for sixteen year. She's also been with her boyfriend Mark (Sheen) for ten years. Her life is wholly predictable, the way she likes it. Things change when she's contacted by John Pressman (Rudd). He is the director of the Quest School, a newly formed school about to have its first graduating class. He asks her to come and speak to them about Princeton. She only agrees because her boss is extremely interested in drumming up enough applications to put them back into the nation's top spot in the category of most applied to school. They have fallen out of first place for the first time in a number of years. Let's pause right here. If this is what they're really worried about at Princeton they're even more out of touch than I thought. Anyhoo, John introduces Portia to the extremely intelligent, but academically challenged Jeremiah (Wolff). Her life is sent spiraling out of control by these events which happen in fairly rapid succession. She also finds herself attracted to John who tells her that Jeremiah might be her son. Finally, Mark leaves Portia for Helen (Walger), the world's foremost authority on Virginia Woolf. Wackiness ensues.

Actually, I should say attempted wackiness ensues. Most of the humor falls completely flat. Tina Fey and Paul Rudd, in my estimation, both function best when they have a lively, possibly insane person to react to. This is how they induce laughter. It's what made Fey so good working with Tracy Morgan, Alec Baldwin, and even Amy Poehler. Rudd is downright brilliant when sharing the screen with Seth Rogen. With just Fey and Rudd together, we have two people playing it straight and waiting for the other to give them something to bring out their own comedic talents. To use a football analogy, it's like two gifted wide-receivers on a team with no quarterback to throw them the ball. Whatever skills they might have are wasted. Occasionally, Rudd tries to step into that role but he is woefully inadequate. It's not that his acting is bad, because it's not. The problem is both he and Fey are too earnest in their portrayals. Remember, that's what they do. Therefore, things meant to be hilarious, such as Rudd delivering a calf or Fey vomiting in front of a frat house come across as misguided, possibly pathetic, and at least a little bit askew, but rarely funny. That's sort of a problem for a comedy. On the other hand, the movie absolutely sizzles during the few short instances Portia's mom Susannah (Tomlin) is on the screen. She has the right kind of energy and plays it just enough over the top for our stars' natural ability to shine through. The movie works similarly whenever Michael Sheen appears, also. Unfortunately, this serves to highlight the shortcomings of our heroes.

With the possibility for laughter greatly diminished, we're forced to adjust mid-stream to watching a drama with a few funny moments. As such, the story is vaguely interesting, but not one with which we're totally enraptured. What's coming is too easily seen to really intrigue us. We know how it's going to work out between our two leads. We also know we're headed for Portia's impassioned plea to Jeremiah into Princeton. To the movie's credit, this is still a very effective scene, played marvelously by Fey. The one curveball in the whole picture is where our heroine ends up. Though it is presented as if she's in a better place than when we started, it doesn't completely feel that way. She seems strangely content with her new-found incompleteness and dependence upon others.

Admission is a film with its heart in the right place. Sadly, it fails on nearly every level in its execution. It tries to strike a comedic tone, but isn't close to being funny enough. The drama isn't dramatic enough to take up the slack. This renders it forgettable. I'm including the people on the screen in that assessment. The only memorable character, Portia's mom and John's adopted son Nelson (Spears), are minor to the production and go long stretches without appearing. The leads are simply giving us more of the same characters they've been playing for much of their careers. The end result of all this is that the movie just drones on and on and on for its entire run time. In other words, its 107 minutes feel like they are multiplying as they slowly pass.

MY SCORE: 4/10​

 

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The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
Directed by Francis Lawrence.
2013. Rated PG-13, 146 minutes.
Cast:
Jennifer Lawrence
Josh Hutcherson
Woody Harrelson
Donald Sutherland
Phillip Seymour Hoffman
Elizabeth Banks
Jeffrey Wright
Stanley Tucci
Lenny Kravitz
Liam Hemsworth
Jena Malone​

Katniss (Lawrence) and Peeta (Hutcherson) are the darlings of the twelve districts after winning the most recent Hunger Games in rather unconventional fashion. President Snow (Sutherland) is quite pissed about it. After all, it was their suddenly blooming love that forced the games to end in such an unorthodox fashion, leaving him and the Capitol looking a bit foolish. This wouldn't be quite so bad if his instincts didn't tell him, correctly, that their relationship is a fraud. He tells Katniss they better play nice for the cameras for the rest of their lives or heads will most definitely, and literally, roll. Those heads belong to her family and friends, of course. Since even that doesn't squash her defiant personality, and the people have made her a symbol of hope, President Snow changes the rules, putting her and Peeta into the next year's games. Their competition this time is made up of prior winners.

One of the things this movie does better than its predecessor is get to the point. That first flick took forever to actually get to the Hunger Games. I understand that in the first movie of a franchise, the setup typically does take longer than it does in sequels. However, in that first flick, it feels unnecessarily long. Like a dog dragging a broken leg, it limped along slowly while we watched Katniss is wardrobe, practicing, and being a talk show guest. Repeatedly. Thankfully, we spend much less time in talk show mode. Generally speaking, I love watching Stanley Tucci perform. In this series, as the host of said talk show, he's just an annoyance. I understand what is trying to be accomplished with this character. It's just not working for me.

Tucci aside, another plus for Catching Fire is the acting of its supporting cast. This more mature group gives us more interesting characters and better portrayals of them. The two standouts being Jeffrey Wright and Jena Malone. Malone gives us someone we're not sure how to take. Wright does what he normally does and disappears into his character. Another newcomer, the late Philip Seymour Hoffman, is his usual excellent self as the Game Master. Among the returnees, Woody Harrelson and Donald Suther land are again very fun to watch. Surprisingy, so is Elizabeth Banks, once more in full drag-queen regalia.

Unfortunately, once we get to the games, it's the stretches between action where this movie, and the series as a whole, continues to fail. These are the times when Katniss and her allies plot the next move and get to know each other a little better. It should also be the time during which the tension is building until that next burst of excitement releases it. Instead, that tension dissipates as the scenes drag on, trying and failing, to establish emotional bonds between the characters. Part of this is due to Katniss herself. We know she cares about her friends and family. However, she comes across so coldly to everyone else that no one else's plight seems to resonate with her until it becomes an imminent part of her own survival. In other words, if she doesn't really care about them until the very moment her life depends on their ability, why should we?

Finally, where the first movie positions itself as social commentary, Catching Fire seems to lack any such aspirations. This is partly due to it being the second movie of what we know will be a quadrilogy. What it is trying to say may become more transparent after subsequent installments are released. No, I didn't read the books and please, do not explain it to me. Another reason is this movie's focus on being a "bigger" movie than its predecessor. It does more, but says less. Still, it is the doing more that makes this a more enjoyable movie than its predecessor. By breezing through the setup quicker, we get a more concise effort, even though it's actually a few minutes longer than the first film. We still hit some snags, but fans of the first should be pleased.

MY SCORE: 7/10​

 

[dell71]

Slam
<b>Directed by Marc Levin.</b>
<i>1998. Rated R, 103 minutes
Cast:
Saul Williams
Sonja Sohn
Bonz Malone
Lawrence Wilson
Beau Sia
Andre Taylor
Momulu Stewart
DJ Renegade
Allen E. Lucas
Ron Jones
Marion Barry</i>​

Ray Joshua (Williams) is a small time weed salesman in Washington DC whose real talent and passion lies in his pen. He writes constantly and hopes to parlay his ability into a rap career with the help of his friend Big Mike (Wilson), a more solvent dealer. When Mike is shot down right in front of our hero, it so happens the cops happen to be in the vicinity. Ray flees the scene, not because he has anything to do with it, he doesn't, but because he's holding a big bag of herb. He gets caught and off to jail he goes. Once there, he finds out lots of people want a piece of him because word is he did have something to do with what happened to Mike. Fellow inmate Hopha (Malone) knows the truth and offers Ray protection. Growing weary of the street life, he balks at that also. Then there is Lauren Bell (Sohn), the cute lady who comes into the prison and teaches a creative writing class. She takes a shine to him rather quickly. Ray contemplating whether to be or not to be ensues.

From the beginning, it's pretty clear we're traveling down the road to redemption. While Ray is in jail, the question is will he get there before someone shanks him. When he gets out, he comes to a fork in that road and isn't sure of which path actually does lead to that redemption. This all leads to some interesting exchanges between he and some other characters. Most notably, his conversations with ... and Hoffa carry he portions of the movie that contains them. The acting of these scenes, and the movie as a whole, is surprisingly good. Though there is one lol-worthy oddity. Then real life mayor of DC, Marion Barry appears as a judge lamenting the effects of drugs on the black community. Maybe it's just me, but I found that particularly hilarious. Most of the actors are in their first and only big screen roles, but come across as authentic in their roles, Mayor Barry excluded of course. In the lead, Saul Williams has a certain charm and charisma which not only serves him well here but also helped him become one of the poetry slam world's most famous citizens. Fellow poet Sonja Sohn may also have a name recognizable to some of you. She would go on to play Detective Kima Greggs on HBO's The Wire.

Since we're on the subject of poets and this is part of the Poetry in the Movies Blogathon, let's talk about their work that shows up here. Well, first let me offer a disclaimer. Even though both of my entries in the blogathon involve slam poetry I am really not that big a fan of this particular sub genre. I find lots of it fun to listen to when performed but rather flat and a chore to get through when trying to read it for myself. That's because many of the writers rely on effective stage methods that don't necessarily translate well to the page. There is a heavy reliance on rhythm, repetition, call and response, easy to follow metaphors, vocal sound effects, some didactism, and lots of rhyming. Despite the rather prevalent idea that poetry should rhyme it can easily become tedious reading poems that do unless they are very well executed. There are exceptions, of course. I honestly don't think Williams is one of them. He's actually exciting to watch when he launches into either the straight raps of the earlier parts of the film or when he takes the stage for a more traditional slam poem. It is hard to deny his presence. His style lends itself to a visual audience and thus works well within the frame of the movie. It's easy to follow which helps it blend seamlessly into the narrative whereas more densely layered verse may distract from things. Sohn eventually performs a poem of her own that was obviously written purposely for this film. It works to give us one of the film's most poignant moments.

In part because of the poetry, but more because of the story playing out before us, Slam works as a film. We become invested in Ray's plight. More than just understanding it, we feel that he has great potential and hope that he won't squander it. We also see him turning a corner in his life. While applauding this, we're also a bit afraid he won't get all the way around that corner. As the movie ends, we're still not sure which path he will take. This is no feel-good story, but rather a character study that asks you to draw your own conclusion and is wrapped in some still relevant social commentary. It is the winner of the Grand Jury Prize for a Dramatic Film at the 1998 Sundance Film Festival. This isn't to say that that validates it as a great movie, but I think it is a very solid one.

<b>MY SCORE: 7.5/10</b>​

 

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The Heat
<b>Directed by Paul Feig.</b>
<i>2013. Rated R, 117 minutes.
Cast:
Sandra Bullock
Melissa McCarthy
Demian Bichir
Michael Rapaport
Jane Curtain
Marlon Wayans
Michael McDonald
Spoken Reasons
Jessica Chaffin</i>​

The FBI's Agent Ashburn (Bullock) is super smart, solving cases with a Sherlock Holmes like intelligence. Her work has her up for a big promotion. Unfortunately, a lack of any discernible personality is her holding her back. No one seems to like her in the least way. Her boss is worried this wouldn't translate well to a position of leadership. For a chance to prove herself, she's put to work trying to bring down a major drug trafficking ring. Against her wishes she's forced to work with local cop Detective Mullins (McCarthy) who is driven and passionate about crime fighting, but highly abrasive in case you haven't seen the trailer. What we have here is a typical wunza buddy comedy. You know, wunza straight-laced by the book colorless FBI agent and wunza manic, fly by the seat of her pants f bomb, dropping slob of a cop.

With the formula pretty much set in stone, The Heat dutifully goes down the checklist of buddy flick tropes. The bland Ashburn is the butt of most jokes and the one Mullins is constantly trying to change in order to get her to loosen up and enjoy life. Through all the initial hatred of one another and completely opposite approaches to the same task, there is, of course, a friendship being formed. McCarthy is there to give us the comedy by verbally abusing every person in her vicinity. Occasionally this does manage to hit the funny bone, particularly early on. After a while we know what's coming so it loses its sting and just becomes noise to suffer through. She's clearly a character cut from the cloths of Eddie Murphy's Axel Foley and Mel Gibson's Detective Riggs. Unfortunately she takes only their most basic traits without the charm of either. They are then fused with McCarthy's brand of potty mouth savagery to form a character we may laugh at occasionally, but don't particularly like. Its a shtick better in short doses as in, This is 40, rather than a steady stream of it. One thing that sort of gets us on her side is her family. They are the one deviation from the formula we have. They have completely made her an outcast and she has to suffer through tongue lashings from them. It's a trick to earn some sympathy for her and it works. However, the best thing to come out of these scenes is her brothers' girlfriends injecting themselves into family business. They give as good as they get.

If Mullins is a dumbed down combination of Foley and Riggs then Ashburn is that of Taggart and Murtaugh from the same movies. She exists merely to be appalled by and eventually bond with Mullins. Her comedic task is to attempt things the way her partner wants her to. Again, this is an occasionally amusing tactic that more often just reminds me of fun stuff we've seen in other, better films. Bullock does with the role requires of her. It just doesn't seem to take much effort. There seems to be no challenge in standing off to one side while McCarthy rants and raves. Her character is just an uninteresting woman. In fact, she's so boring I've written these last two sentences just to lengthen a paragraph in which their really is nothing else to say about her. Well, maybe there is one slightly interesting thing about her. She has a cute potential relationship with Agent Levy played by the refreshingly subdued Marlon Wayans. Still, even this is not an earth shattering romance.

Whether or not you like The Heat boils down to one question: do you find it funny when Melissa McCarthy makes lots of noise and cusses like a sailor. If the answer is yes, you're probably thinking I'm some sort of prude, or a movie snob and dismissing this entire review. Fine by me. You may as well stop reading now and go watch it. Put another way, did you like Identity Thief. If the answer is no, you have likely been nodding in agreement as you read. That's more than fine by me. In this case you should probably skip it. It's only going to annoy you, anyway. Proceed accordingly

MY SCORE: 4.5/10​