Nuk's 20 Worst Bands of All-time.

[dave]

Neil Finn wasn't even relevant enough to consider adding here. If I ever decide to make a list for the top 20 most irrelevant 80's musicians of all-time, I may find a spot for him there.

But, hell, New Zealand sure loved the guy, so I guess he has that to fall back on.

All bullshit aside, download this album:

 

[Fox1994]

#15.

The Buggles.

Trevor Horn thought it would be a good idea to form a band gayer than ''Devo.'' So, he decided to form this pile of donkey spunk, with keyboard player, Geoff Downes. They continue to live off the fact that their ''hit'' video was the first ever to broadcast on MTV. Who cares that it completely fucking sucks, right?

Positives: Well, they look like two guys that would post at VSN, and we can use all the traffic we can get.​

YouTube - Video Kill The Radio Star The Buggles [HQ]

I like that song. Don't give a shit about anything else by this band.

#11.

Asia.

What do you get when three terrible bands break up, come together, and form an 80's band? You get ''Heat of the Moment.'' Asia is top 10 worthy on most lists, but yes, I found 10 bands even worse.​

Positives: Well, you got your name mentioned on ''40 Year Old Virgin.'' Good job guys.​

YouTube - Asia - Heat of the Moment

All I know from them is South Park:

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#10.

Linkin' Park.

Linkin' Park has to be one of the worst musically gifted bands I've ever heard. My buddy wanted to get together, and play some of their shit, and asked me what I thought - I told him to give me 10 minutes, and I'd have their shit down. If you enjoy playing the guitar, but you're not all that great, pick up a Linkin' Park CD or two, hook your shit up, and have at it. These guys are new to me, so I'm not even sure if they're a serious band or not - I'm going to assume it's just a joke band, so they're getting the #10 spot. A bit low, maybe, but again, these guys can't be serious.

Positives: Tone deaf? Can't even afford a guitar tuner? Pick up some Linkin' Park, plug in your amp, and eat your heart out.​

Never understood their popularity.

YouTube - Linkin Park - Faint

#1.

Limp Bizkit.

No shock value here, sorry. These guys have been well known for being the worst musical artists of all-time, whose only real competition being ''Insane Clown Posse.'' I realize the popular thing to do here, is to bash on Fred Durst, but I'm not going to. I'm going to bash on the people surrounding him. This has to be the worst surrounding cast in music. I'm not sure who their guitar player is, but there's one thing I do know - he doesn't tune, and I'm not even sure if he's playing any actual notes/chords half the time. When he does manage to play something, it's usually the same three power chords over and over again. I'm fairly certain that he's just playing on the fly, making shit up as he goes. And I'm not talking about the good, creative style of making shit up as you go either. This guy, whoever he is, is the worst guitar player in the history of music. The rest of the band really isn't much better. As a guitar player, I can honestly say this is the only rock band to ever really offend me. Maybe that's what they were going for? If so, good job.

Positives: I've come to appreciate ''GWAR'' a lot more now. Thanks, Fred.​

YouTube - Limp Bizkit - Break Stuff

I think I faintly remember them being a little popular. I think they had a song or something.

I hate it when untalented bands make songs I shouldn't like but somehow do.

Vanilla Ice approves.

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[steeljake]

This thread may have inspired me to make a top 10 gayest bands of all time list.

It's pretty easy considering all the emo-fag type of shit that has come out over the last 10 years ala 3rd Eye Blind, Blink 182, Yellowcard, etc.

i actually liked 3rd eye blind's first record. graduate is played in a really killer alternate tuning (open d, 1/2 down i think) and i remember actually buying a cheap ass peavey guitar and modding it so i could use it for those weird songs during our cover sets back in the day. sadly it was alaso uesd to play are you ready by creed...

#5.

Coldplay.

I'm sure most of you are well aware of the british rock band, Coldplay. About the only thing I admire about Chris Martin, is the fact that he's an ''A-Ha'' fan, who happen to be one of my favorite 80's bands, as well. Unfortunately, Coldplay tried to install the same type of falsetto vocals that A-ha were best known for. I'm a big fan of falsetto singers, 50s, 60s, 70s and even some 80s, but if you don't do it right, you're going to completely destroy the music you've been working on. Coldplay's lead vocalist has one of the weakest voices that I've heard in a long time.. It's really a shame, because even though their music completely fucking sucks, I still admire the fact that singers today are still trying to add some falsetto in their music - but damn, if you're this bad at it, just go copy Linkin' Park or Blink 182.

Positives: They're A-Ha fans. But that doesn't make them suck any less.​

YouTube - Coldplay - See You Soon

fuck this band. it actually causes me phsyical pain to listen to them.

#4.

Reel Big Fish.

Yes, I know I'm breaking my rule here. ''Avoid joke bands.'' But Reel Big Fish is just so fucking awful, that I'm making an exception. These guys can't even pull off the title: Joke band. Again, fans of A-Ha, they decided to bless us all with a cover of ''Take on Me.'' I almost cried.......from laughter and disgust.

Positives: Absolutely nothing!​

YouTube - Reel Big Fish - Take on Me

the only ska band that deserves to be spared being shot with an uzi is the mighty mighty boss tones. all other can just fuck off.

#2a.

Creed.

There's a rule when it comes to making these lists - It's a rule that every true music fan shares.... No list is complete without ''Creed.'' You have to realize that ''Creed'' takes pride in being one of the worst at what they do. So, by adding them, you're really complimenting them. Rumor has it, that lead singer Scott Stapp once made a top 10 worst bands of all-time list, adding ''Creed'' at the #1 slot. While I admire his his attempts at being the ''best'' at what he does, ''Creed'' isn't the worst band of all-time. Sorry, Scott.

Positives: Absolutely nothing.​

YouTube - Creed - With Arms Wide Open

if creed had anyone but scott stapp as their lead singer they wouldnt be as big, but they would suck either. i give you alter bridge as an example. i was on tour teching for tantric and we were opening for creed. scott's security actaully cleared the fucking hall way for scott to walk through becuase he didnt want be looked at cuz he was in 'show mode'. tremonti is cool tho... and he fucking shreds.


i disagree with journey, but the rest of the list is legit, and i know you were holding your breath for that nuk so there it is. Motely Crue i actually liked, until i saw them live. my rule on liking a band states they must be able to not suck live, and they cannot not suck. it is mostly vince's fault for not being able to sing, but it would help immesnely if mick would tune his guitar or at least learn to play and someone would turn off nikki vocal in the house at least.

 

[MmmmBeeeeer]

I like Reel Big Fish, they put on a good show imo

 

[hoodyallen]

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipy58SaIRhs]YouTube - Creed Shreds 3: You Sh!t Here With Me LIVE![/ame]

 

[Nukleopatra]

Nuk, I'm not disagreeing with your list because honestly it's pretty spot on in most cases. But I'm getting the impression that to you, you can't be an amazing band or artist without being a talented musician.

If that's the case then what's your opinion of the Sex Pistols? They weren't amazing musicians. I mean fuck, Sid Vicious couldn't even play bass (yet he's in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame). However, the Sex Pistols were one of the most amazing artists to have ever taken the stage. I understand the difference between shite music and good music, but I don't think being amazing musicians is the sole deciding factor in the quality of music. Although it sure as fuck helps.

In the end, it's music, if you like it. Fine. But I'm a pretentious music fan and honestly I don't give a fuck if you like my music, because yours sucks (not you personally). At least that's always been my opinion when it comes to what other people listen to.

Good points.

But I didn't base my list entirely on the fact that they're talented musicians, in most cases, it's an added bonus (Creed/Blink/Coldplay.) A good example being Journey - Journey had a lot of talent. They just happen to have one of the most annoying lead singers of all-time. Steve Perry isn't a very talented guy either, when he left Journey to go solo, thinking he was the entire act, he released what many many people consider as one of the worst albums of all-time. If it wasn't for ''We Built This City,'' Steve Perry would be guilty of releasing the worst song of all-time in ''Oh, Sherry!'' I think he's flipping burgers now.

Journey's biggest weakness, as a band, was their act - they were a complete and utter bore. Sex Pistols may have blew ass, but at least they had a gimmick to keep people from really caring about their lack of talent. If you're going to suck, at least have something to fall back on. And sometimes, having a good guitar player, isn't enough either. Neal Schon was Journey, but as good Schon is, good guitar players are a dime a dozen. He wouldn't even make my top 20. Journey probably doesn't deserve to be on this list, I agree - but the tortue I had to endure throughout my childhood, by listening to the most ridiculous looking, and sounding singer of all-time, I needed some pay back.

''The Ramones'' being a great of example of how I'm not basing it all around being musically talented. The Ramones would make my top 20 greatest Rock bands of all-time, and I can play every song just as good s Johnny could. But they're The Ramones, and they completely fucking rocked. And they didn't look too bad either, while they were doing it.

 

[relaxedanderson]

#15.

The Buggles.

Trevor Horn thought it would be a good idea to form a band gayer than ''Devo.'' So, he decided to form this pile of donkey spunk, with keyboard player, Geoff Downes. They continue to live off the fact that their ''hit'' video was the first ever to broadcast on MTV. Who cares that it completely fucking sucks, right?

Positives: Well, they look like two guys that would post at VSN, and we can use all the traffic we can get.​

YouTube - Video Kill The Radio Star The Buggles [HQ]

While I appreciate your list and agree that every band on there are as unpleasant as waking up and finding a live rhinoceros in your rectum...I must take issue on your dragging of DEVO down to the level of such evil as Buggles and Journey.

Their first five albums are better than most things released in the post punk years and are more relevant 30-odd years later than the likes of Coldplay are on the day of release.

Apologies please...

 

[Nukleopatra]

That wasn't a fair comparison, I agree. Devos body of work went far deeper than the bug-eyed fruit cake whose ''legendary'' status centers around having his video be the first ever played on MTV.

I used to be a huge Devo fan back in my teens, but stopped listening to their stuff for some reason. I believe they're working on a new album - I recently saw them on TV - but the whole jumpsuit thing doesn't work anymore. A little too much weight going on there.

Devo is cool in my book. I have a ton of their stuff stashed away somewhere.

''Oingo Boingo'' is another band that should have made this list - Danny Elfman might be considered a genius when it comes to scores, but they were without a doubt, a terrible terrible fucking band, with one of the worst on stage gimmicks I've seen. Maybe I'll do a top 20 worst singers list, so Elfman doesn't get left out.

 

[steeljake]

Must say Limp Bizkits best album imo was Chocolate Star Fish after that it dropped off like a mother, but that album was music from my childhood so that proboly explains y i like it :shrug:

the words limp bizkit and best album should never be in the same sentence.

 

[MrBill]

Devo is cool in my book. I have a ton of their stuff stashed away somewhere.

At some point when I have my wits about me enough to go through the boxes of stuff from my youth at my mom's house in the coming months, my plastic Devo hair (ordered from the fan club info listed on the album liners) will be in there somewhere. Listening to Devo albums and playing for 12-18 hour stretches on my Atari 2600 was a big part of my early teen years.

 

[dell71]

:applause:

Great thread, very fun read.

 

[MmmmBeeeeer]

Must say Limp Bizkits best album imo was Chocolate Star Fish after that it dropped off like a mother, but that album was music from my childhood so that proboly explains y i like it :shrug:

Their album quality went it chronological order

Three Dollar Bill Y'all: Acceptable, but not great
Significant Other: Decent amount of catchy songs, but still not good
Chocolate Starfish: Terrible, absolute shit
Results May Vary: No they don't vary, its all shit

Gold Cobra: TBA, probably going to be shit

 

[MmmmBeeeeer]

But really, how could you hate on Wes Borland (LB Guitarist) when he wrote Mighty Penis Laser????

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kk99KcuAG7M]YouTube - Big Dumb Face - Mighty Penis Laser[/ame]

 

[RosettaStoned]

Interesting list. My observations on a few of the bands...

Air Supply - Yeah, they sucked but if you were a teenage boy in the 80's

Then you should get the fuck off the internet you wrinkling old faggot.

 

[dell71]

Had to groan you...I was a teenage boy in the 80s.

 

[Nukleopatra]

You can't have worst bands, without listing the worst singers of all-time (male and female.) So, I'll probably throw that one up next Friday.. I posted it on another forum, so I'll dig it up, and make a couple changes to it later this week. I had planned on making a ''Top 20 most overrated Bands,'' but I'm not up to 5 day arguments about why I'm bashing on some of your favorite bands.. It's controversial stuff, for sure.

No lead singer from any band in this thread will be eligible, though, because 90% of them are certainly worthy of a spot, but who wants to see a repeat of this week, ya know? It's a fresh batch of awful altogether.

 

[bcransom]

Also I am begging that the Doors be on this list somewhere.

I cannot stand the fuckin Doors.

How has this post not been groaned into oblivion?

 

[Golden Taters]

I love Linkin Park (their old stuff anyways) and 3 Doors Down

 

[Irish]

I love Linkin Park (their old stuff anyways) and 3 Doors Down

Linkin Park pre Meteora was good

 

[Nukleopatra]

I'll have to take your word on that, because I'll be avoiding 95% of the bands on this list, for the rest of my life, however long that should be.