When I was a kid, I always thought that if someone punched Mike Tyson in the face really hard, he might turn around and start talking like Barry White (kind of like Fred Flintstone changing personalities after a bowling ball falls on his head). Imagine how scary the Baddest Man on the Planet would've been if he didn't talk like he was auditioning for "Fraggle Rock?"
Forget Tyson's voice, though, as it's his video game character in "Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!!" that really left me intimidated. I struggled for weeks to knock the champ out, and when I finally beat him, I swear, it was one of the most rewarding video game experiences I've ever felt. I was the first on my block to get the best of Iron Mike.
Fight Night Round 4
I still remember landing Little Mac's jumping right cross to Tyson's jaw like it was yesterday. Crazy to think it was 1987.
But now Tyson is finally back to defend his video game title, this time in EA Sports' "Fight Night Round 4."
And since the heavyweight division is stacked with big names (Ali, Tyson, Foreman), I start the game by creating a heavyweight fighter of my own so I can relive the days of knocking virtual Mike on his ass.
To create your character, you can use Xbox Live Vision to take pictures of yourself, download a photo from EA Sports World, or select one of 87 head templates supplied by the game. As I scroll through the various fighter templates, there's something about the way head 67 has his head cocked and his nostrils flared that has mean and nasty written all over it. The perfect look for a fighter who has to deal with the likes of the heavyweight division (what, you want a fighter who smiles?).
I decide to name my fighter Jonny McSnarles thanks to the bad intentions in his face, then when it comes to nicknames, there are actually 95 to choose from in the game. I go with Jonny "Money" McSnarles (has a nice ring to it), fighting out of Brooklyn. Next decision is entrance music. I go with "You Can't Stop Me Now" featuring Inspectah Deck, a song that includes the lyrics "You can't stop us, you can't block us, rock us or mock us, knock us or top us, better sit back and watch us. No matter how hard you try you can't stop me now." And that includes you, Tyson. Can't think of any song more fitting for the beast of a fighter I hope McSnarles becomes.
For my ring walk, I choose confident over focused or neutral (what can I say, I like cocky fighters), then I add dry ice, flash pots, and lasers to make my entrance as crazy and memorable as possible.
In terms of physical appearance, I go with a muscular-athletic build, a frame of 6-8, 235 pounds, and a blond faux hawk (maybe I should've called him Demolition Man). I then switch up and select my outfit, gloves, shoes, and robe, followed more importantly by selecting a boxer stance (orthodox), boxer style (peekaboo), and block style (textbook). I decide to make my punch style power over speed or balanced (love knockouts), decide to make my best punch the right hook, and my signature punch a ducking lead hook.
To start out, McSnarles' ratings look like this:
Jonny McSnarles Fighter Ratings
Left Hand Power
56
Right Hand Power
61
Hand Speed
52
Punch Accuracy
51
Foot Speed
51
Head Movement
55
Block Strength
55
Head Toughness
52
Body Toughness
52
Stamina
54
Heart
57
Cuts
55
Swelling
55
Chin
58
You can then customize the rankings of all fighters in the game in order to fight them in an order you want, but I decide to let the computer surprise me.
Career mode is controlled through a calendar system as you go from fighting in small, dirty gyms to slugging it out in Vegas for the title. Everything you do in career mode helps define your legacy, and the game promises plenty of choices throughout your fighter's polygonal life that will determine whether or not you leave the game a legend.
First step is fighting in an amateur tournament. Win the championship and I will get some new gear and a boost to my skills. Guess it's time to bust some heads and prove to the world that McSnarles is not to be laughed at.
There are 16 fighters in the tournament and first up is some chump named Burke, or as I call him, my first victim.
It's funny, after fighting hundreds of rounds already as various pros like Roy Jones and Ali, McSnarles is dreadfully slow in comparison as I try to work his way up the rankings and the ratings. I stagger Burke with a couple of right hooks, then knock him down with a brutal left uppercut to the chin. During the replay you can hear the crack of his jaw as a bunch of his spit goes flying up into the air. Burke gets up, but he doesn't stay up for long as a right hook floors him for a second time moments later. I win my first fight by knockout after landing 48/78 punches, including 24 hooks (and I have to say, the finished build I'm playing is much improved over the demo).
Fight Night Round 4
Fight Night Round 4
Second fight and I already have my first scare as I'm staggered by an uppercut and I think I'm about to go down. After grabbing my opponent in a bear hug, I put my hands up, remembering not to underestimate my opponents (even in this amateur tournament), and get back to business, regaining my feet and winning the fight by second round knockout. The scare did McSnarles some good, though, as he goes on to win the next fight in a matter of minutes thanks to a combination of devastating body blows that send his opponent to the mat.
This brings me to the finals of the tournament against some chump named Hayes. I put Hayes to sleep with a jaw-rattling uppercut to win the championship. With the win, McSnarles is also awarded some new trunks as well as five-point rating increases to left and right hand power as well as stamina and heart. And now that I've won the amateur championship, I can advance to the pro ranks.
The next screen I see is Legacy Central where you can schedule fights, see your rank, your pound-for-pound ranking, your popularity, and even your legacy rating. I have already moved out of "bum" category and into "prospect". The rating moves up from there to club fighter, contender, champion, superstar, hall of famer, ring legend, and greatest of all time. The better you fight and the more you win, the higher you will be ranked in these categories with the eventual goal to be named greatest of all time.
For my next fight, I challenge the highest rated opponent I can, Ferdinand Ruiz, ranked 45th in the heavyweight division. I have one training session before the fight, and my choices are:
Open Sparring: Get in the ring and work on offense and defense. Points are scored by hitting the sparring partner and blocking or avoiding his punches. Points are deducted for missing punches and getting hit.
Stay on your Feet: Spar this round with low health and stamina. The opponent will try to finish you off. Try to score points. Most important try to stay on your feet.
Heavy Bag Combos: Hit the bag with the punches the trainer asks for. The trainer calls each punch by number. The HUD displays how to throw each punch. The faster you land punches, the more points you can score.
Heavy Bag Push: Hit the heavy bag high or low as indicated to push it down the track and score more points. The bag gets heavier as it moves down the track. Keep your distance or the bag will push you backwards and you will lose ground.
Double End Bag: Move to the zone indicated on the floor and hit the bag before the zone changes. Hooks and uppercuts score more points than jabs or straights. Hit multiple zones in a row and score bonus points.
Maize Bag: Lean your head from side-to-side the number of times the trainer requests, then throw a body punch in the air. Don't hit the bag and don't get hit by the bag. The faster you are the more points you can score.
Once you select your training type, you can choose to auto-train or play through yourself. I decide to try my luck at open sparring as auto-training only gets you 50 percent of the maximum ratings points. The game shows how many points you get for everything from hitting your opponent to knocking him down and I end up scoring 15,400 points, earning some bonuses to my stats, including +4 to my chin, and +4 to body and head toughness.
After my sparring is complete, it's time to step into the ring for real as I advance the calendar to ESPN's Wednesday Night Fights where I'm on the card for the first time. Still no entrance music or lasers, but at least I'm a pro and don't have to wear that silly head gear that covers up my cool hair.
I proceed to beat Ruiz like he owes me money, landing a vicious uppercut to the chin, then blasting him with a right hook as he is on his way down. For my first pro knockout, I'm rewarded with a Mike Tyson terry cloth robe. Sweet. Now if only I can work my way up to fight Mike, I'd be a happy heavyweight.
All in good time, though, as it's going to be a while until I get to the beasts in the game like Tyson. After three fights, I find myself 3-0 with three knockouts and am now ranked 41st in the heavyweight division.
Next fight, it's time to step up to a challenge as I've been offered a fight in London against Rhys Bailey, the 36th ranked heavyweight. If I win, I will vault ahead in both ranking and popularity. I train with the Maize Bag to improve my speed as Bailey is a little thick in the middle, like he frequents the all-you-can-eat pancake house on a nightly basis, so I want to use my quick hands to sock him in his fat gut (you can even hear him grunt after a particularly fierce body blow). The speed works to my advantage and I score a third round KO for the biggest win of my career so far.
Won't be long before everyone knows the name Jonny "Money" McSnarles.