Wrestle Kingdom 7
Wataru Inoue & Captain New Japan & Tama Tonga vs. Jado & Yoshi-Hashi & Tomohiro Ishii
This happened. Really came across like New Japan's answer to the placeholding six-man's they will occasionally throw together on a Raw to fill space and this is a show that didn't need space filled. Inoue is probably a wash with R-Truth and Tama might actually be better than Kofi, but Captain New Japan is a poor man's Rey to say the least. Jado is pretty awful at this point and his existence in this match almost immediately pissed me off. He's a shitty Cody Rhodes at this point which is damning. Hashi is a perfectly fine Jack Swagger. Ishii doesn't really fit the narrative, but he's better than all of these guys and really over and this was a waste of him. Not a bad match, but there are probably several hundred similarly thrown together six-man's, that got the same amount of time and have appeared on WWE tv in the last decade that smoked this.
Jushin Liger & Tiger Mask & Hiromu Takahashi vs. Ryusuke Taguchi & Kushida & Bushi
Liger is still over in the Dome which I find comforting. Parts of this I thought were really sharp, particularly the early going even if this was obviously another thrown together match. On the other hand for a sub-ten minute match this had a lot of stuff that looked suspect or less than impressive. This will sound odd coming from me, but I would have preferred this been a balls out spotfest. Okay for what it was, but I saw two Heath Slater v. Justin Gabriel house show matches live about a year ago that looked like high end 90's NJPW junior wrestling next to this.
Manabu Nakanishi & MVP & Strongman & Akebono vs. Bob Sapp & Toru Yano & Takashi Iizuka & Yujiro Takahashi
This kinda felt like one of those matches they throw together on Mania now to give the rest of the upper mid-card something to do, without having to take away from the semi-retired guys they are protecting. I half way expected Teddy Long and Vickie to show up pre-match and was trying to figure out who would be managing which team in my head when the match started. I actually didn't mind this at all. I would have preferred more fat man offense from Akebono and Sapp sucks horribly, but it was kept short and for match filled with useless roided guys and shit workers this was if anything better than expected. It didn't even border on being a good match, but it was watchable.
Masato Tanaka vs. Shelton Benjamin
I watched Tanaka v. Ishii from last year yesterday which is a match a lot of people liked. I thought it was worked like a Davey Richards v. Kyle O'Reilly match, but with more violent looking offense and slightly more (that is to say "some") selling. In any event I figured this would be even more ROH and it was. We even got shitty ROH style manager involvement. Short match with tons of shit that meant nothing, one of the most contrived looking spots around the ropes I've seen in recent memory and of course in true ROH form a senseless ankle lock spot right before the finish. This was short enough to be largely inoffensive but still sucked and is the worst match on a show that up to this point that has been filled with random multi-men matches featuring roid freaks, cast offs, old farts and sub-Lash Leroux juniors. For "go, go" matches something like Tyson Kidd v. Hunico series from last year laps this several times over.
Lance Archer & Davey Boy Smith Jr. vs. Karl Anderson & Hirooki Goto
I wanted to like this because I like the idea of the Smith/Archer team on paper and haven't found a match of their's yet that I think delivers on their potential. Instead they have the look of a poor mans 3MB and don't put their matches together nearly as well. To be fair I didn't hate this, but I am a guy who wants structure in his tag matches not spots galore. They teased the structure early but then this felt really rushed and all about getting big shit in and it just annoyed the fuck out of me. I'll take The Colons v. The Uso's over this every time.
Yuji Nagata vs. Minoru Suzuki
I am a guy who really loves grumpy old man wrestling so I expected that I would like this. Sure Nagata is comically overrated by some, but I don't hate the guy and he's been involved in plenty of things I've enjoyed over the long haul. And Suzuki is the guy that made me enjoy a Tanahashi match. So this had some major positives working in it's favor. At the end of the day I wasn't disappointed and this worked well. I wasn't in love with interference spot on the floor early, but Nagata getting choked out with the chair was a cool visual and Suzuki's cocky posturing is one of the better parts of his act. I enjoyed the work around Suzuki's rear naked choke, even if it wasn't worked that tight and I dug the fact that they worked a couple of hope spots in for Nagata before he finally made his comeback and went to the arm. I'll never be a fan of the "stand in the ring and take turns in cooperative fashion striking each other" spots, but that's a staple of Japanese wrestling at this point so it seems worthless to complain about it and it was used as a vehicle to give Nagata more hard shots to Suzuki's arm. I also really liked the finish with Suzuki making one last gasp for his finishes, eating a sick slap and giving the modified "Dick Murdoch v. Inoki KO look" before eating the backdrop suplex finish. For matches involving grizzled veterans worked around stiffing each other, making funny faces and arm work/submissions/submission counters this wasn't as good as Ron Garvin v. Greg Valentine from Royal Rumble 1990. On the other hand this was definitely better than the old man respect struggles from the last two Manias and it was a good match.
Prince Devitt vs. Low Ki vs. Kota Ibushi
Why is Low Ki wrestling in a suit? I assume there is some storyline reason that I don't know about or perhaps it's some sort of symbolism that escapes me. I guess maybe this was some Japanese gangster flick tribute? Anyway this had a lot of really good looking shit, and was perfectly fine for a spotfest of this sort. The stuff on the ramp had a nice visual effect to it, especially with Ki fighting in his get up. I also enjoyed his "tossing the jacket as dropping the strap" spot even if it was after one of the most egregious no sells of a huge move I've seen in recent memory. The big spot with Ibushi blocking the tree of woe double stomp looked really good too. They found a pretty good way to take one guy out so they could go to the finish and I actually liked that Devitt - who really seemed in the background for the whole match - basically survived by stealing a win. For spotfest involving guy working in dress clothes I may have liked Corino v. Brisco better. That also had the crazier spot and sicker finish. But I thought for the sort of match this was it was good and it is a rare triple threat that actually felt like it was a better match because it wasn't a singles.
Keiji Muto & Shinjiro Otani vs. Satoshi Kojima & Hiroyoshi Tenzan
Everytime I see Ohtani I get depressed as I don't know if there is anyone in wrestling who's "look" has so radically changed from the image I have of him in my head at his peak. This was over with the live crowd and got good heat which helped it. The work ranged from solid to pretty weak, but nothing outright embarrassing. For promoter/legends Muto looked better than HHH, but not as good as Vince. To be fair Kojima is no Punk to play off of, but that chop segment in the corner did not look good. On the other hand Ohtani's face wash bit got a great response and I really marked out for it. After that this mellowed out and Tenzan really felt like a come down when he was on offense. Ohtani was the star of this and wrestled well even if he doesn't look like I want him too. This might have gone a hair too long considering the limitations of some of the guys involved, but it was perfectly fine over all.
Togi Makabe vs. Katsuyori Shibata
Boy this was disappointing. On paper I thought this had potential to be a show stealer if things broke right. Shibata looked pretty good in it at times, but man Makabe's selling was just absolute dog shit. That dueling back drop suplex spot pissed me off but I would have been okay with it if that asshole would have looked the least bit bothered at any point int he match when on the defensive. He didn't. The table spots were okay I guess, but this really wasn't any good at all. As brawls of this sort go every Sheamus v. Big Show match in the few months destroys it.
Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Kazushi Sakuraba
This was the match I was most looking forward to even before the hype as Nakamura is one of my favorite guys in New Japan and I wanted to see how he would play in this setting. I watched a match with him and Ishii v. Sakuraba/Shibata last night and he was clearly the odd man out and had no clue what the fuck was going on at times, which made me a little nervous, but I was still excited to watch this. Turns out there was no reason to be nervous because this was really fucking good. Sakuraba in particular was great in this. I loved the theme of him escaping the more typical pro wrestling positions and reversing them into submissions or huge attacks. Obviously the knee after the blow off of the German was an appropriate "fuck you," but I also thought the spot where he saved himself off the ropes was great, as was the escape of the go behind. All the big strikes looked absolutely crushing. I really wanted him to bust out the Mongolian chops but you can't always get what you want. I also thought Sak barely being held down by the big knee was the right finish. This could have and should have been a bit longer but it was still pretty great. Not as good as Lesnar v. Cena but not much is.
Tanahashi vs. Okada
Man did this feel long. I didn't hate this, but this is a match I never want to watch again. Tanahashi's offense is just not convincing at all to me. I thought Okada was decent enough as he usually is. Not outstanding but he's charismatic, works hard and at least tries to sell. But it's hard for me to take anyone seriously working underneath Tanahashi, unless they are taking great bumps and their selling is off the charts and Okada was doing neither. I honestly can't believe that the same sort of people who bitch about the offense of John Cena, have not problem with that trash bag hooking clothesline Tanahashi uses all the time. Some of the big spots looked good and some didn't really work. I did like the fact that they didn't bury The Rainmaker as a finish by allowing Tanahashi to survive it, but I also think the wrong guy went over and not just because I don't like Tanahashi. I guess for people who like this sort of match it was good, but I don't like this sort of match and for upstart star v. established ace series and matches Cena v. Punk has been about fifty thousand times better.
Overall Thoughts:
Eh I don't know. I get that New Japan is "hot" right now with a certain sort of hardcore fan and that this was there big show, but I don't think this was even close to a great show. I've been pretty down on three hour Raws, but the first hour and a half of this show was clearly worse than the wrestling portion of the average three hour Raw to the point where I really can't imagine that being a controversial statement, even though I suppose people will read it as a troll. I did think the show was pretty well paced and put together in the ring order which gave it a good flow. From Suzuki v. Nagata forward the show was more good than bad, but there were only three matches on the whole show I would really classify as good matches. On the other hand there was nothing that was the duel combination of offensively long and horrible which is something I always fear on modern Japanese shows. Okay show. Best show ever is an insane statement that strikes me as the sort of hyperbolic statement we hear every year after Mania when WWE fans get the highs they want out of a show but aren't thinking in a broader context. Great show is a massive stretch, though I suppose if you were super invested in some of the stars or the style it might fit. Good show? I'm not even sure I'd go that far. It was watchable and didn't feel like a waste of time, but if I were getting Observery I would go "Thumbs In The Middle" and by Observer Awards standards I'd already have it safely behind TLC in the "Best Major Show" category.