Dell's Good, Bad & Ugly Movie Reviews

[dell71]

Kung Fu Panda 2
Directed by Jennifer Yuh.
2011. Rated PG, 91 minutes.
Cast:
Jack Black
Angelina Jolie
Dustin Hoffman
Gary Oldman
Jackie Chan
Seth Rogen
Lucy Liu
David Cross
James Hong
Michelle Yeoh
Danny McBride
Dennis Haybert
Jean-Claude Van Damme
Victor Garber

Since becoming the Dragon Warrior, Po (Black) is enjoying life and dispatching the occasional bad guy. Of course, we wouldn’t get a new movie without a newer, greater threat on the horizon. That threat comes in the form of shunned peacock Shen (Oldman). He was banished from the city he calls home long ago for being a very bad boy. Now he’s back with plans to take over all of China, starting with his hometown. Though he’s pretty darn good at martial arts, fighting isn’t his main tactic. Instead, he has created something that seems to symbolize the death of kung fu itself. Not only is it up to Po and the rest of the Furious Five to stop him, but Po is also dealing with an identity crisis. Having never met another panda, he wants to figure out where he came from and what happened to his parents.

Like he was in the original, our hero is still a goofball and very much like the most other characters played by Jack Black. By the way, his schtick works better here than in his live-action roles. There are also fun interactions between Po, Master Shifu (Hoffman) and the rest of the Furious Five. In particular, his moments with Tigress (Jolie) provides a huge chunk of the movie’s most tender moments. Another large chunk comes from Po’s time with the only dad he’s known. There is also plenty of action, even more than in the original since we don’t have to spend so much time on Po learning to fight.

Alas, more action does not necessarily make a good movie. This is a good movie because it maintains its predecessor’s most important trait. Aside from the fighting, the plot functions as much like a true martial arts film as it does a kiddie flick. Other than using human beings not many changes, if any, would be needed. It would be right at home amongst a group of Shaw Brothers productions.

It also helps that Gary Oldman gives us a wonderful heel in Shen. He’s more menacing than Tai Lung from the first movie because instead of wanting to be more than he is, Shen embraces his villainy. His one true care is about vengeance. What he has to do to achieve it is not important to him, only that it is done. Oldman conveys this in that just over the top, maniacal bad guy. Even as just a voice actor, he continues to show he is one of the most versatile performers in Hollywood.

When speaking of sequels, I don’t like saying that if you liked the first, you’ll like the second. In this case, that’s a true statement. The follow-up maintains the original’s magic and expands enough to still feel fresh. It pulls the trick of making us feel like we know these characters and that their adventure is bigger because they’ve grown – not just because. I’d be naïve to say it definitely isn’t, but it doesn’t feel like a cash-grab. It feels like the continuation of a saga.

MY SCORE: 8/10

[dell71]

Crazy, Stupid, Love
Directed by Glenn Ficarra and John Requa.
2011. Rated PG-13, 118 minutes.
Cast:
Steve Carell
Julianne Moore
Ryan Gosling
Emma Stone
Analeigh Tipton
Jonah Bobo
Marisa Tomei
John Carroll Lynch
Kevin Bacon
Liza Lapira
Josh Groban

Cal’s (Carell) life is sent spiraling out of control practically the moment we met him. Emily (Moore), his wife of 25 years abruptly informs him over dinner that she wants a divorce. With that, he packs up, moves into an apartment and tries to get on with his life. By get on, I mean spend nights at the local bar griping about his failed marriage. While there, he meets Jacob (Gosling), the local ladies man. Jacob takes pity on our hero and wants to help out by imparting his carnal knowledge upon Cal. Meanwhile, Cal’s 13 year old son Robbie (Bobo) is having his own love problems. Robbie is in love with Jessica (Tipton), his 17 year old baby-sitter. Aside from the obvious age difference there is another issue. Unbeknownst to either guy, Jessica has a crush on Cal. Finally, there’s Hannah (Stone) who’s studying for the bar exam. She’s in a serious relationship with Richard (Groban), but appears to be settling, much to the chagrin of her pal Liz (Lapira). A bunch of people pursuing love, or sex, while simultaneously wondering if it’s even worth the effort ensues.

Our plot moves along nicely, but in a fairly straight forward manner, for most of its runtime. However, things pick up towards the end with a fabulous twist. It’s the type of thing you don’t see coming, at least I didn’t, but once it happens you’ll wonder how you didn’t. Best of all, it absolutely works. It’s not some M. Night Shamalamadingdong idiotic turn of events flying in from very deep left field. The movie doesn’t end with this occurrence, either. Instead, it crystallizes things for the people involved.

The common theme running through Crazy, Stupid, Love is people romanticizing the person they desire so much as to deify them. With that in mind, it’s easy to see why it’s so painful for the jilted parties. However, this is no mopey affair. Like most of us, these people do ridiculous things while dealing with their emotions. It’s a ridiculousness we can relate to. We’ve been there. Maybe, we’re there now. At the very least, we’ve known a few people who are, or have been there. We laugh because we see our own silliness in the people on the screen.

At the end of the day, CSL is a romantic comedy. It actually does go through many of the machinations of other rom-coms. However, the numbers aren’t quite as visible here as they are in many of it’s kind. It’s well crafted, all the way around. We get wonderful performances across the board. The scene-stealers here are Bobo as Robbie and Marisa Tomei in a very interesting and hilarious role. It also helps that the ending is a bit ambiguous. When the credits roll nothing has definitively happened to say for sure whether it’s a happy ending or not. We can guess either way we like. Still, we cannot say for certain how things will turn out, much like our own lives.

MY SCORE: 8/10

[SethMode]

Man Dell, I love your reviews (despite not being a huge fan of 10 scales).

One question that I'm sure you answered before but: why did you ditch the actual good, bad and ugly sections?

[dell71]

Man Dell, I love your reviews (despite not being a huge fan of 10 scales).

One question that I'm sure you answered before but: why did you ditch the actual good, bad and ugly sections?

Gives a little more freedom to pontificate and it doesn't have to be in a certain order.

[wingsfan77]

I didn't see the twist in 'Crazy,Stupid,Love' coming either but I think that's because when I'm enjoying a movie as much as I was watching it I don't really try to predict what happens.

[Palooza]

I think I knew what the "twist" was already, but I totally forgot about it when I watched the movie. I got sucked in.

[Houston]

I definitely wasn't expecting to like Kung Fu Panda 2 as much as I did. Gary Oldman did it again, I loved his character's "It's your parting gift" line.

[dell71]

Ong-Bak
Directed by Prachya Pinkaew.
2003. Rated R, 105 minutes.
Cast:
Tony Jaa
Petchtai Wongkamlao
Pumwaree Yodkamol
Suchao Pongwilai
Chumphorn Thepphithak
Cheathavuth Watcharakhun
Wannakit Sirioput

A country boy goes to the big city and kicks a whole lotta ass. By the way, I mean that literally. He doesn’t often kick, like with his foot or punch, like with his hand. He’s hitting guys with elbows, knees, even his entire torso. By guys, I mean lots of guys. Make that lots and lots of guys. There’s so many guys that he has to escape from time to time to catch his breath. By escape, I mean flipping over guys, walking on their heads, climbing a wall and hopping a fence without using his hands, etc. Then he gets back to kickin’ ass. When it’s all over I’ve lost track of just how many asses he’s kicked. Yes, I mean that literally.

Um, plot? There is one, I guess. Our hero’s name is Ting (Jaa). He’s from a small village where they worship a Buddha-like figure called Ong-Bak. Heeeyyyyy, I wonder if that’s where they got the idea for the title. Duh. Anyhoo, Ong-Bak is symbolized by a statue they keep in their sanctuary. One of the young guys who left the village, moved to the big city and became a hoodlum steals the statue’s head in hopes of selling it for big bucks. Besides this, two things let us know there’s going to be a lof of fightin’. First, Ting volunteers to bring back Ong-Bak, by himself of course. More importantly, Ting’s master tells him that even though he taught him everything there is to know about Muay Thai, he doesn’t want him to ever use it. Hot diggity dang! As soon as I heard that I knew it was on. I hit pause, went and popped some popcorn, poured myself a tall glass of the beverage of my choice and spilled it all over the place as I ran back to the couch, picked up the remote and pressed play.

I’ve already spent too much time on the plot. Truthfully, the movie does this also. We mosey along at a pace that’s a little too slow as we’re introduced to new characters and the dynamics between them are set up. None of them warrants any mention as particularly interesting. What is interesting is when we get beyond all that and our hero gets down to business. Once he gets going, Ong-Bak becomes a special movie. Tony Jaa makes it so. The things he does are simply amazing. And yes, these are all organic stunts performed by Mr. Jaa himself. By organic I mean it really is all him, no cgi and no wires. It’s a stunning display of athleticism reminiscent of a young Jackie Chan, but without the comedic overtones.

For fans of martial arts flicks, this is a must-see. It’s more than worth the time it takes to wade through the less than thrilling first act to get to the non-stop fighting portion of the movie. Don’t come into this with any notions of a well-crafted scripted, character development, good acting or any other high saditty ideas. This is all about high-flyin’, bone-crunchin’ action. It’s all about amazing feats of human physicality. It’s all about a country boy going to the big city and kickin’ a whole lotta ass. Literally.

MY SCORE: 6/10

MARTIAL ARTS MOVIE SCORE: 9/10

[dell71]

Moneyball
Directed by Bennett Miller.
2011. Rated PG-13, 133 minutes.
Cast:
Brad Pitt
Jonah Hill
Philip Seymour-Hoffman
Robin Wright
Chris Pratt
Stephen Bishop
Brent Jennings
Jack McGee
Nick Porrazzo

Billy Beane (Pitt) was a can’t miss baseball prospect that did indeed miss. Now, he’s General Manager of the Oakland Athletics, responsible for acquiring players to put on the field. After a 2001 season in which his team nearly reached the World Series, he’s lost his three best players to the big money contracts they’ve been offered by larger market teams. He has to figure out how to put together a competitive team on a shoestring budget.

Like any self-respecting sports movie, Moneyball isn’t about the sport that makes up the action scenes. It’s about the people involved. In this case, it’s Billy and, to a lesser degree, Peter Brand (Hill). Billy is a man already under pressure. The fact he can only spend a third of what some of his competitors can makes it so. He wants to think outside the box, but the people who’ve been advising him for many years are stuck in their traditional mindset.

This is where Peter comes in. For lack of a better description, Pete is a stat-geek. However, he is of a breed not yet accepted by the establishment. Baseball has always been about numbers to a degree greater than other sports. The question is are the numbers once deemed of supreme importance giving way to a new set of statistics. The old guys already working for Billy can talk doubles, triples, homeruns and runs batted in, endlessly. Pete analyzes players differently. He uses their numbers for raw data, inputs them into mathematical equations and comes up with opinions on players that are often far different that what old school baseball people think.

Though he’s not the protagonist, Pete is the movie’s most important and best written character. He fully embodies a new ideology. In him, we see what Billy is hoping is the wave of the future. He’s the best written because he’s constantly walking a tightrope, teetering on the edge of losing the audience. Anytime he speaks more than a couple sentences at a time, MB risks making people hate the very concept he and Billy so feverently push because it can feel like a steady stream of baseball nerd jargon that many people don’t care or want to hear about. Magically, he speaks just enough that viewers with even minimal understanding of the sport get a vague idea of what he does and why everyone else tells he and Billy that they’re crazy.

Still, Billy’s drama drives the movie. There’s the aforementioned pressure he’s facing which includes probably losing not only his job, but Pete’s as well. We also get to see Billy’s close relationship with his daughter. She lives with his ex and worries about her dad. After all, specualation about whether he should be fired is extremely public. It’s a story arc we’re familiar with. Whatever is lacking in the way of suspense, Brad Pitt makes up for with his sheer magnetism. He’s compelling without being showy. He’s pretty much the difference between MB being a decent sports flick and being an excellent film of any type.

In tone and style MB resembles The Social Network. Of course, we’re replacing Jesse Eisenberg’s sullenness with Pitt’s movie star wattage. Both movies represent changes in our collective thinking. The way Facebook helped revolutionize the way we communicate, so too does the ideals championed by Billy and Pete to the way baseball teams are structured, or so we’re told. Hardcore fans of the sport may bristle at the omission of contributions to the team’s success made by shortstop Miguel Tejada. The fact that he was named the American League’s Most Valuable Player with some very big traditional numbers in 2002 flies in the face of the notion that Beane is working strictly with castoffs and misfits. However, if you don’t know or care who Tejada is you won’t miss him. In fact, that may add to your enjoyment. Whether or not it gets all the particulars of the 2002 Major League Baseball season right isn’t important. What is important is that it symbolizes another triumph for the cyber generation. It’s another nail in the coffin of the 20th century.

MY SCORE: 8/10

[NAHSTE]

Still think Moneyball is more enjoyable for non-baseball fans. Fans who know what actually happened know that nothing is really at stake, and for that reason there is no dramatic tension.

I know that in real life Billy Beane was not in any real danger of being fired, and I know that the 2002 A's will never end up winning a climactic series. The dramatic tension is basically wrapped up in whether they could continue with a noteworthy, but ultimately meaningless, 20 game win streak in the regular season.

It's a solid watch, thanks mainly to Hill and Pitt's comedic chemistry IMO, but I felt it lacked any drama or suspense.

[dell71]

Zookeeper
Directed by Frank Coraci.
2011. Rated PG, 102 minutes.
Cast:
Kevin James
Rosario Dawson
Leslie Bibb
Ken Jeong
Donnie Wahlberg
Joe Rogan
Sylvester Stallone
Nick Nolte
Adam Sandler
Cher
Judd Apatow
Jon Favreau
Maya Rudolph
Faizon Love

Five years after being dumped by Stephanie (Bibb), the girl he planned on marrying, Griffin (James) still pines for her. When she pops up at his brother’s engagement party, he completely freaks out and desperately tries thinking up ways to get her back. Just so you understand what’s going on here, let’s explain a bit more. Stephanie left Griffin largely due t o the fact that he is indeed just a zookeeper, hence the title. She’s quite high maintenance and is looking for someone to finance the life she wants to lead. He also has an attractive co-worker named Kate (Dawson) whom he’s never thought of in “that way.” Kate’s obviously a more genuine person than Stephanie. So far we’re in pretty familiar rom-com territory and you can probably already figure out how this will end. Trust me, there are no surprises at all.

If you’ve seen any other romantic comedies then you know that our would be Romeo has friends that give him bad advice on how to win Stephanie’s heart. If you’ve seen the trailer then you’ve already guessed the only thing that makes this different from most movies of its kind. The friends are actually the animals at the zoo. Yes, they talk.

All comedies with talking animals can’t be terrible, can they? Let’s give this one a chance. After all, it can’t be that bad if George Clooney decided to lend his voice to it. Oh wait, that’s not Clooney. That’s Sly Stallone as Joe the Lion. That monkey is obviously Adam Sandler. Well, no need in watching the rest of this. Unfortunately, it’s not that easy for me. My youngest daughter has wanted to see this for months. I contemplate jumping up and kicking hole in the screen, then explaining that I saw a bug. That’s too costly. Hey, I think I just heard Cher…and Faizon Love…and Nick Nolte? Yup, that’s Nolte. My daughter chuckles. I’m screwed.

Resigned to my fate, I wade through the muck. Like I said, everything that happens plot-wise is telegraphed from the last thirty rom-coms you watched. There is the occasional laugh. The scene involving Griffin, Bernie the gorilla (Nolte) and a trip to T. G. I. Friday’s is the most amusing scene. Even that’s only worth a few snickers. At least Rosario Dawson is always nice to look at. Still, ogling her whenever she’s on the screen isn’t nearly enough to save this dreck. Skip it if you can. If not, you have my condolences.

MY SCORE: 2.5/10

[Maynard]

if you can’t understand the brilliance behind the “pee meter”, you’ll never get this movie.

i did not understand the brilliance behind the pee meter. i was hoping u could provide some insight as to why this was so brilliant?

i didnt love or hate this film. i watched it at 7 am this morning while i am sick...not exactly great movie watching conditions.

[spiker]

I like that you added a "martial arts score" to your score for Ong Bak because it's awesome as far as the genre goes, but it is what it is. Nothing deep or anything, just a whole lot of awesome ass kicking. The Protector is another one you should check out if you enjoyed Ong Bak. Don't see Ong Bak 2. LOL

[dell71]

i did not understand the brilliance behind the pee meter. i was hoping u could provide some insight as to why this was so brilliant?

i didnt love or hate this film. i watched it at 7 am this morning while i am sick...not exactly great movie watching conditions.

For me, the pee meter is first a great homage to old school video games. Second, the fact Scott has one also speaks to how much video game culture has come to permeate our lives.

I like that you added a "martial arts score" to your score for Ong Bak because it's awesome as far as the genre goes, but it is what it is. Nothing deep or anything, just a whole lot of awesome ass kicking. The Protector is another one you should check out if you enjoyed Ong Bak. Don't see Ong Bak 2. LOL

I've seen "The Protector", lots of epic stuff in there as well. I was thinking about seeing "Ong Bak 2" fairly soon. Might put it off, now.

[dell71]

The Smurfs
Directed by Raja Gosnell.
2011. Rated PG, 103 minutes.
Cast:
Hank Azaria
Neil Patrick Harris
Jonathan Winters
George Lopez
Katy Perry
Jayma Mays
Sofia Vergara
Fred Armisen
Anton Yelchin
Kenan Thompson
Jeff Foxworthy
Tim Gunn

There was a time when “The Smurfs” were a part of my Saturday morning routine. This not only included the show, but also Smurfberry Crunch cereal whenever I could get it. Watching Papa Smurf, Smurfette and the other 99 smurfs foil the evil Gargamel week after week was wholesome cheesy 80s fun. If, back then, a movie based on that show and including real-live people were to come out I would’ve been smurfed to see it. I would’ve saved up the twenty bucks to get me and my siblings each a ticket. Wow, $20 for four of us. Remember those days? Anyhoo, we would’ve been first in the smurfing line the day it opened. Now, better than a quarter century later and having seen numerous craptacular movies based on old TV shows, I’m not so smurfed. Regardless, here I am losing to curiosity and fatherhood once again. Of course my daughter wanted to see this. What? I can’t take all the smurfing blame.

As usual, Papa Smurf (Winters) and his clan of little blue people take on the smurf obsessed Gargamel (Azaria). What’s different is the setting. On the show, nearly every episode took place entirely in the area just big enough to include both Smurf Village and Gargamel’s castle. The movie starts us there but very quickly a half-dozen smurfs, Gargamel and his equally evil cat Azriel wind up in New York City through a bit of hocus pocus. Our heroes spend the rest of the movie trying to find whatever magic is necessary to get back home and avoid Gargamel.

While in the Big Apple, Papa and crew wind up crashing at the apartment of a young married couple, Patrick (Harris) and his pregnant wife Grace (Mays). He’s a career driven ad exec smurfing for his relentless boss Odile (Vergara). She seems to mostly stay at home, talking to the baby in her belly. They have two purposes for being in the movie. First, they provide the smurfs with a place to stay and play “Guitar Hero.” More importantly, they will learn an important lesson when our adventure is over.

The Smurfs is one of those movies that doesn’t do anything smurfily bad nor anything esmurfily good, either. It just drones on pretty blandly. Clumsy Smurf does something clumsy and puts the others in danger. They try to rescue him, narrowly escaping Gargamel who then has an aside with the cat and concocts his next plan. Rinse, repeat. In that respect it’s not much different than the old cartoon. That’s probably as good as we can hope for.

If there is one thing that rises above the level of mediocre, it’s the performance of Hank Azaria as Gargamel. He is absolutely smurfect. Not only does he present us with exactly what we thought a live-action version of the villain would be but he’s clearly having a blast at the same time. On the flipside, I was disappointed with George Lopez’s Grouchy Smurf. It’s not necessarily his fault, but the character feels the least true to what they were on the show. That Grouchy didn’t say much and started almost all of his very short sentences with “I hate…” This version talks constantly and is somewhat a grouch, but in a way much more reminiscent of the actor’s character from his own sitcom.

I have to admit, The Smurfs is far better than I thought it would be. Thankfully, it doesn’t induce a pain similar to being repeatedly kicked in the groin like Yogi Bear. It’s still not really a “good” movie. It’s merely a pleasant, if unremarkable time-passer that manages to maintain nostalgia and cuteness. This will likely not be the case going forward. For proof, see the Alvin and the Chipmunks and Transformers franchises. Therefore I hope, probably in vain, that the powers that be don’t shove a smurfing sequel down our smurfing throats. This one is watchable, but I get the feeling I’m all smurfed out.

MY SCORE: 5.5/10