Dell's Good, Bad & Ugly Movie Reviews

[Derrville]

So Foxx gave a A+ performance?

 

[Senser81]

Dell, have you seen a movie from a few years ago called "Turistas"?

 

[Buzzman]

when 500 Days of Summer comes out you should check it out Dell.

 

[dell71]

Well done as always Dell. Just watched one last night you'd find absolutely hilarious. Was called Lesbian Vampire Killers or some such. The comedy is spot on, and for an intentionally bad horror movie, it succeeded. I wouldn't put it on the level of Santa's Slay, but I did get some rather good laughs out of the movie.

Yeah, heard of it just hadn't gotten around to it yet.

EDIT Interesting new review, you have my curiosity up about the movie as I hadn't heard of it before your mention of it.

Which one? Law Abiding Citizen?

Please view "The Room" at some point and review it, Dell. It's easily the worst movie ever made.

Noted.

So Foxx gave a A+ performance?

No. He was pretty good, Butler was better, neither will be getting any Oscar nods, nor should they.

Dell, have you seen a movie from a few years ago called "Turistas"?

I've actually avoided it. From everything I've heard it reminded me too much of Hostel which I hated. And I didn't bother with Hostel 2 either.

when 500 Days of Summer comes out you should check it out Dell.

Plan to.

 

[Maynard]

Dell, have you seen a movie from a few years ago called "Turistas"?

i saw that one. It makes you think its gonna be like hostel...which it kind of is, but just doesnt deliver in the shock or gore factor. But they make the same attempt that hostel does by convincing young travelers to a secluded location to do unthinkable things. It was weak though imo. Come to think of it, so was hostel

 

[dell71]

Imagine That
2009. Rated PG, 107 minutes.
Director: Karey Kirkpatrick.
Starring Eddie Murphy, Yara Shahidi, Thomas Haden Church, Nicole Ari Parker.

Plot: Stockbroker Evan Danielson (Murphy) goes on a roll thanks to advice from his overly-cute daughter Olivia's (Shahidi) imaginary friends.

The Good: It's a harmless affair the kids will eat up. As usual, Murphy has no problem poking fun at himself and comes across well as a doting father who becomes a bit misguided by his success. Thomas Haden Church is sufficiently weird as Murphy's main competition at the office, eventually becoming the villain. The two play off each other nicely to get laughs. It also deserves some credit for showing Murphy as an African American single dad, even though there is a perfectly capable and not at all dysfunctional mom available (take that Tyler Perry!). Of course, an even better option would be having mom and dod still together but it took courage to do it the way they did. It goes against the stereotype and what we normally see from our judicial system (moms overwhelmingly win custody battles whether they're the best choice or not).

The Bad: It's a harmless affair the kids will eat up. As much as they'll enjoy it, they'll likely forget it just as quickly. Not only is there really nothing new, except for that single daddy thing, it comes on the heels of the Adam Sandler vehicle Bedtime Stories which is very similar in theme and uses a more eye-popping approach that'll likely resonate with kids a little more.

The Ugly: What Olivia does to the pancakes (see pic).

Recommendation: This is solid family fun. Though its no masterpiece, it isn't an offense to adults, either. It's a pleasant way to spend about an hour and 45 minutes, while munching on popcorn with the kids.

The Opposite View: Daniel Etherington, Channel 4 Film

What the Internet Says: 5.1/10 on imdb.com (11/5/09), 38% on rottentomatoes.com, 54/100 on metacritic.com

MY SCORE: 6/10

 

[dell71]

Observe and Report
2009. Rated R, 86 minutes.
Director: Jody Hill.
Starring Seth Rogen, Anna Faris, Ray Liotta, Michael Pena.

Plot: Head of mall security, Ronnie (Rogen) tries to simultaneously catch a serial flasher, figure out who robbed one of the mall's stores and pursue Brandi (Farris), the woman of his dreams.

The Good: There are some instances you can't help but have a knee-slapping laugh. Of course, those moments are over the top and usually crass. The movie establishes very early that crass is the rule here, not the exception. Anna Faris proves once again she is a top-notch comedic actress (and underrated as a looker). She steals every scene she's in as does Celia Weston as Ronnie's mom. The two are superb. A game Ray Liotta is a lot of fun, as well.

The Bad: Even though the jokes consistently push the envelope, some working and some not, the story strictly adheres to a well-worn formula. This makes the whole thing overly familiar with hardly any deviation from what's expected. Well, except for that one thing. That one thing being the decidedly non-comedic solution to the flasher problem. It's in such stark contrast to the rest of the movie its absolutely startling and not in a good way. I get that they're going for a dark comedy vibe but it was way too much. In fact, because of this single moment, you can't help feeling the ending should be totally the opposite of what it is.

The Ugly: Ronnie giving Brandi a deep open-mouthed kiss seconds after she vomits. Then there's that whole date-rape thing.

Recommendation: It's one of those movies that starts off pretty good and gets worse as it goes along. What's more, by the end you realize that as much as you want to deny it, it isn't really much different from a certain other movie. Think of it as Paul Blart: Mall Cop - Unrated.

The Opposite View: Lisa Schwarzbaum, Entertainment Weekly

What the Internet Says: 6.2/10 on imdb.com (11/5/09), 50% on rottentomatoes.com, 54/100 on metacritic.com

MY SCORE: 5/10

 

[SOS4Prez]

I'm surprised you didn't list "the ugly" as one of the final scenes where the fat ass runs nude through the mall.

 

[dell71]

I'm surprised you didn't list "the ugly" as one of the final scenes where the fat ass runs nude through the mall.

Nah...tonguing some chick down when she has vomit debris in her mouth is far far worse.

 

[Maynard]

when u said in the plot he is mall security i thought WTF is this? another paul blart movie.....i hate when hollywood trys to ride the band wagon of each other. like paranormal activity and the 4th kind or whatever its called.

its like these studios get together and decide that are going to create a genre of the moment. then we get stuck with a bunch of shitty copy cat flicks.

remember when six sense came out....then u had all those other movies that were along the same line

 

[Senser81]

i saw that one. It makes you think its gonna be like hostel...which it kind of is, but just doesnt deliver in the shock or gore factor. But they make the same attempt that hostel does by convincing young travelers to a secluded location to do unthinkable things. It was weak though imo. Come to think of it, so was hostel

Yeah, I didn't understand the thought processes of the people in Turistas. Lets wander through a jungle to get to a bar, get drugged, follow one of the guys who drugged you through another jungle, some caves, climb a mountain (this seriously took about half the movie), get to an abandoned house, stay there even though a person tells you to run away as fast as you can...UGH!

 

[Palooza]

when u said in the plot he is mall security i thought WTF is this? another paul blart movie.....i hate when hollywood trys to ride the band wagon of each other. like paranormal activity and the 4th kind or whatever its called.

its like these studios get together and decide that are going to create a genre of the moment. then we get stuck with a bunch of shitty copy cat flicks.

remember when six sense came out....then u had all those other movies that were along the same line

I'm pretty sure Observe and Report was in production much earlier than Paul Blart.

 

[dell71]

Yeah, I didn't understand the thought processes of the people in Turistas. Lets wander through a jungle to get to a bar, get drugged, follow one of the guys who drugged you through another jungle, some caves, climb a mountain (this seriously took about half the movie), get to an abandoned house, stay there even though a person tells you to run away as fast as you can...UGH!

Yeah, I'll definitely be skipping that.

 

[dell71]

Dell's Classics Presents:

Bullets or Ballots
1936. Not Rated, 82 minutes.
Director: William Keighley.
Starring Edward G. Robinson, Humphrey Bogart, Joan Blandell, Barton MacLane.
Once Cpt. McLaren (Joe King) takes over the police department, he fires Johnny Blake (Robinson), one of the most successful and feared officers on the force. The local mob boss, Al Kruger (MacLane) seizes the opportunity and recruits Blake to join his gang. Based on the story of real-life cop Johnny Broderick. Most famous for his roles as a gangster, Robinson switches sides of the law in one of Hollywood's earliest tales of an undercover cop who may have gotten in too deep (movie buffs will see what I did there). As is usually the case with Robinson, it's a virtuoso performance. In this case, he exudes the arrogance necessary to move up the criminal ladder. To help matters out, the cast also includes a particularly angry Bogart for Robinson to go back and forth with. The story does a nice job of putting our hero in compromising positions for him to figure out. Best of all, the ending is a courageous one, particularly for the era. It leaves us a little unsure how we're supposed to feel. The entire film is a blueprint for the many movies of its kind to follow.
MY SCORE: 10/10

 

[dell71]

A Reevaluation!!!

Obsessed
2009. Rated PG-13, 108 minutes.
Director: Steve Shill.
Starring Idris Elba, Ali Larter, Beyonce Knowles, Jerry O'Connell.

Plot: Derek Charles (Elba), a happily married corporate exec is stalked by Lisa (Larter) after she starts working as a temp in his office.

The Good: There are lots of exciting, or "Oh no, she didn't!" moments. The movie hardly lets you breathe an instant without Lisa doing something outrageous. To carry us through the thrill-a-minute ride, the three principals (R&B superstar Beyonce plays Derek's wife Sharon) all play their roles as well as written. Oh, and the climactic battle between the ladies is a trashy fun catfight for the ages.

The Bad: It wants to be Fatal Attraction for the new milennium. However, it forgets that what makes FA great is its roots in reality. There was an affair and we watched emotional attachment develop. Sure, it was over the top but given the way the early parts of the movie played out, it seemed possible. Here, there is zero plausibility. Our villain is insanely obsessed from the first moment she lays eyes on Derek. It doesn't help that she seems to occasionally have superhuman ability. Finally, it perpetuates the stereotype of white women preying on successful black men. Yes, there's plenty of evidence of this hanging around NBA & NFL locker rooms after games but that still doesn't make this display any less absurd.

The Ugly: A brotha can't even pee in peace.

Recommendation: This can't be taken seriously for even a single moment. If it is, you'll just moan and complain about how terrible it is. It's not just bad...it's so bad it's awesome!!!

The Opposite View: Alonso Duralde, MSNBC*

What the Internet Says: 4.2/10 on imdb.com (8/22/09), 19% on rottentomatoes.com, 25/100 on metacritic.com

MY SCORE: -10/10


* I swear I could use this guy for "The Opposite View" on nearly movie.

 

[Epidemik]

What would you say of Beyonce's acting??

 

[dell71]

What would you say of Beyonce's acting??

Not as bad as people say. I actually thought she was pretty good in Cadillac Records. Until now, I hadn't really thought she was terrible in anything. Here, she was terrible and overacted quite a bit but that was a perfect fit considering everything else that was going on.

I'd have to disagree. I went to see it as a time filler when it came out and laughed my ass off. It'd been a long time since I laughed hard at a movie and this one did it. It was the spoof movie that Leslie Neilsen has been trying to do and failing at since Naked Gun.

Imho, it tried too hard in spots & kept telling us its a spoof. Airplane!, Blazing Saddles or even The Naked Gun never did this. They just were. Then again, that's what makes comedy so hard to score. It's way more subjective than any other genre.

 

[Maynard]

Yeah, I didn't understand the thought processes of the people in Turistas. Lets wander through a jungle to get to a bar, get drugged, follow one of the guys who drugged you through another jungle, some caves, climb a mountain (this seriously took about half the movie), get to an abandoned house, stay there even though a person tells you to run away as fast as you can...UGH!

thats funny. This one little paragraph sums up the utter stupidity of this movie. I kept watching because the chicks looked pretty hot

 

[dell71]

Speaking of stupidity...

Dance Flick
2009. Rated PG-13, 83 minutes.
Director: Damien Dante Wayans.
Starring Shoshana Bush, Damon Wayans Jr., Essence Atkins, Affion Crockett.

Plot: The people who brought you Scary Movie, Date Movie, etc. make fun of dance movies, most notably Save the Last Dance.

The Good: Its a movie in which every instant is supposed to be a joke. There is never a serious moment. Therefore, the filmmakers simply throw everything at the screen and some of it sticks. When it does, it causes you to laugh out loud. Of course, it works better the more familiar you are with the source material.

The Bad: Like everything else in this line of so-called spoofs, it almost completely dispenses with the notion of creativity. Instead of using the plethora of already laughable dance movies for inspiration it just reenacts one scene after another from some other dance flick (bad pun intended), adds something gross or otherwise outlandish and hopes its funny. All spoofs work better when you're familiar with the source material. The better ones are self-sufficient narratives that create a world of their own. For instance, Austin Powers is based on James Bond and other movie super-agents that came before him but he is at once a composite of them and a unique individual. The same goes for the killer or Sydney in Scream or anyone in Blazing Saddles, Airplane! or even the Wayans family's own brilliant I'm Gonna Git You Sucka. Here, every character is simply whoever they were based on but in a dumber movie. So while you get a few laughs, it is at times regrettable and mostly forgettable.

The Ugly: Ms. Cameltoe beat-boxing. Yup, exactly how you think.

Recommendation: You know if you want to see this already. I was just unlucky enough to be with a group of folks who did.

The Opposite View: Eric Sloss, Movie Jungle

What the Internet Says: 3.2/10 on imdb.com (11/9/09), 18% on rottentomatoes.com, 40/100 on metacritic.com

MY SCORE: 2.5/10

 

[Palooza]

I'm sorry you had to watch Dance Flick, Dell.