G-Force
Directed by Hoyt Yeatman
2009. Rated PG, 88 minutes.
Cast:
Sam Rockwell
Will Arnett
Bill Nighy
Zach Galifianakis
Penelope Cruz
Nicolas Cage
Tracy Morgan
Steve Buscemi
Plot: A program developing guinea pigs and other small creatures into a walking talking spy unit is in jeopardy of having its government funding pulled unless they can stop an evil mogul from taking over the world.
The Good: The little furries are very well rendered and so gosh-darn cute. All the tenets of spy-team comedies are present. We have our hero type, and our wacky sidekick. Both are smitten with the only female on the squad. Then we have our techie...I'll stop here. I don't think I'm fooling anyone.
The Bad: Many movies have annoying characters and many movies are boring. Both of those problems plague this movie. The characters are annoying enough to make PETA supporters don furs. As far as the boredom it causes, its near fatal. In fact, I'm pretty sure Shakespeare must have watched this, or at least had me in mind whil he was writing. What does that mean? It means over the course of the 90 minutes I spent watching this movie I felt like I died a thousand deaths. Lest you think I'm just being way too grown-up and unwilling to have fun with a kiddie-flick I'll have you know my 9 year old daughter stood up about 30 minutes in, announced "this is boring" and left the room. I wish I had such guts. Spinelessly, I endured it with my 7 year old daughter who was only mildly entertained but holding me hostage, nonetheless.
The Ugly: Okay, I admit I chuckled a bit when Juarez (Cruz) had her emerging from the water scene.
Recommendation: Only watch this is you absolutely must. If that is the case, be sure to keep all sharp objects out of reach or you may be tempted to jam one in your own eye merely for the sake of having something interesting happen. If your kids want to watch it, load it in the DVD player and inform them it is really urgent that you count and label the strands of carpet in the another, then disappear. C'mon, an hour and a half of Disney baby-sitting won't kill them. I don't think.
The Opposite View: MaryAnn Johanson, Flick Filosopher
What the Internet Says: 4.9/10 on imdb.com (1/9/10),
24% on rottentomatoes.com,
41/100 on metacritic.com
MY SCORE: 0/10