Dell's Good, Bad & Ugly Movie Reviews

[LiquidLarry2GhostWF]

Dell..homie...pal...compadre...I say the following with all of the love and compassion one message board poster can have for another...

Stop watching these shitty movies and get on TCM and start watching some classics...lets get some awesome reviews up in this beast. Intellectualize these youngin's on the forum with some fine cinema.

TCM's best film festival of the year is on and you're watching Tromeo and Juliet, da fuck?

At least bust out the Netflix Instant Que which is full of awesomeness right now in regards to classics.

 

[Pitty]

Dell..homie...pal...compadre...I say the following with all of the love and compassion one message board poster can have for another...

Stop watching these shitty movies and get on TCM and start watching some classics...lets get some awesome reviews up in this beast. Intellectualize these youngin's on the forum with some fine cinema.

TCM's best film festival of the year is on and you're watching Tromeo and Juliet, da fuck?

At least bust out the Netflix Instant Que which is full of awesomeness right now in regards to classics.

Those movies have the worst and most over the top acting of all time.

Most old movies are severely overrated.

Example - John Wayne (The dude is clearly drunk as fuck in every scene)

 

[FirstTimer]

I know you didn't like it but I'd still like to see your review for 28 Days Later

 

[LiquidLarry2GhostWF]

Those movies have the worst and most over the top acting of all time.

Most old movies are severely overrated.

Example - John Wayne (The dude is clearly drunk as fuck in every scene)

You have clearly not seen enough good old films and you clearly have not seen the best of John Wayne (although, I do concede, he did go in autopilot a lot once he was raking in the bucks).

 

[dell71]

Dell..homie...pal...compadre...I say the following with all of the love and compassion one message board poster can have for another...

Stop watching these shitty movies and get on TCM and start watching some classics...lets get some awesome reviews up in this beast. Intellectualize these youngin's on the forum with some fine cinema.

TCM's best film festival of the year is on and you're watching Tromeo and Juliet, da fuck?

At least bust out the Netflix Instant Que which is full of awesomeness right now in regards to classics.

Meh...sometimes I'm in the mood for silly. That said, there are a number of classics in the thread already, including The Battle of Algiers, Citizen Kane, North by Northwest, Double Indemnity, Rear Window and some others. There will definitely be more.

And there's also a bunch of "so bad they're awesome" type movies like Tromeo and Juliet, Pieces, Slumber Party Massacre III, Eegah and the like. There will definitely be more of these, as well.

My main focus, however, is on recent movies. I use the classics to occasionally "intellectualize these young'uns" and the crappy stuff to show I'm not always a stuffy movie snob and occasionally just like to have dumb fun.

I know you didn't like it but I'd still like to see your review for 28 Days Later

I watched it before I started writing reviews. I'd have to give it another look before I wrote one. I may, if I decide to watch the sequel I'll tackle them both. Just can't promise that one, yet.

 

[NAHSTE]

Just watched Body of Lies, pretty solid, in that 6-7 out of 10 range. Have you reviewed that here or on MM?

 

[dell71]

Just watched Body of Lies, pretty solid, in that 6-7 out of 10 range. Have you reviewed that here or on MM?

Reviewed right here on VSN: http://www.virtualsportsnet.com/forum/showpost.php?p=745214&postcount=475

FYI, all the reviews are archived in the op of this thread.

 

[NAHSTE]

Oh, on a sidenote, I just have to mention that Mark Strong as Hani Salaam looks exactly like a dark skinned Andy Garcia. His tailored suits and cool demeanor make me think they were separated at birth.

LOL I thought the same thing.

 

[Sven Draconian]

Watched "Big Fan" on your (non) recommendation (and because it's on my new Netflix instant que).

 

I had to knock it a few points because of the repeated masturbation scenes. Besides being gross, I thought it really cheapened the movie.It was the easy way to establish Paul being pathetic (and treating the viewer like an idiot), it was an unneccesary shot at "sports fans" in general.

Pretty much because of those scenes I only gave the movie a 7.

 

[Fox1994]

Yeah I watched it with a ... 'lady friend' the other night and was pleasantly surprised. The movie needed more of his friend and her friend fighting though, lol. They cracked me up.

Haha. What it shows at the end... at the wedding... priceless. Fucking priceless.

 

[dell71]

Away We Go
Directed by Sam Mendes.
2009. Rated R, 98 minutes.
Cast:
John Krasinski
Maya Rudolph
Carmen Ejogo
Jeff Daniels
Maggie Gyllenhaal
Catherine O'Hara
Allison Janney
Jim Gaffigan​

Plot: Verona (Rudolph),who is six months pregnant, and her boyfriend Burt (Krasinski) travel to various locations in North America they have ties to in search of the perfect place to start their family.

The Good: In Verona and Burt, we have a couple that feels, more or less, real. They aren't glamourous or overly hip, they're just a couple regular thirtysomethings trying to make their way in the world. To that end, director Sam Mendes coaxes some very natural performances from his two stars. On the other hand, he also gets some great, and perfectly over the top work from his supporting cast. In particular, Maggie Gyllenhaal shines as the eccentric, and eccentrically named, LN. What happens is the bit players, and Burt, give us most of our laughs while Verona plays our "straight man" and the movie effectively revolves around her. This also helps reveal bits and pieces of our heroes.

The Bad: Some opportunities for comedy are lost because the movie rarely deals with Verona's pregnancy. Their is the running gag about keeping the baby's heart rate up, but nothing ever comes of it. Also, some of the supporting characters beg for bigger roles but are all quickly ushered off-screen as our heroes travel from one city to the next.

The Ugly: LN, breast-feeding, strollers and the "family bed." Wow.

Recommendation: This is a different sort of rom-com. Instead of the usual boy-meets-girl, this picks up where others leave off. It's smart, cute and funny. That said, fellas be warned: it's a full-blown chick-flick. It's a solid one, but a chick-flick, nonetheless.

The Opposite View: Richard Corliss, Time

What the Internet Says: 7.4/10 on imdb.com (2/8/10), 66% on rottentomatoes.com, 58/100 on metacritic.com

MY SCORE: 7/10​

 

[dell71]

Dell's Classics Presents:

A Clockwork Orange
Directed by Stanley Kubrick.
1971. Rated R, 138 minutes.
Cast
Malcolm McDowell
Patrick Magee
Adrienne Corri
Miriam Karlin
Michael Bates
Warren Clarke
Carl Duering​

Alex (McDowell) and his band of hooligans rape, pillage and/or murder on a seemingly nightly basis until he is arrested and subjected to governments experiments intended to cure him of his wicked ways. After having seen bits and pieces over the years, I’ve now watched it from beginning to end several times. Malcolm McDowell tears up the screen with a performance that’s sadistic at first and tortured later. Kubrick takes that performance plus a script filled with dark, often sexual humor and gives us brilliantly off-kilter image after image. Certainly, a heavy influence on Oliver Stone’s Natural Born Killers. Though it raises some interesting questions, its timelessness is mostly due to it being a twistedly fun movie.

MY SCORE: 10/10​

 

[Fox1994]

Still haven't seen that... Seen lots of classics, but not yet Clockwork Orange.

 

[Maynard]

i have only seen bits and pieces of clockwork orange too. fucking brits man, i cant understand half of the dialog so i could never get thru it.


btw, the ninth gate is on at midnight on IFC. Great movie if u havnt seen it

 

[calgaryballer]

I was surprised by how much I enjoyed Away We Go. I wasn't expecting much after hearing luke warm reviews, but thought that John Krasinski did a great job of making me empathize with him. The other big star of the movie was Alexi Murdoch's soundtrack

 

[A Tasty Burgerr]

What was your opinion of Traffic?

 

[nflman2033]

Actually, I've never heard of this one. He has done some great work that I've loved (Monty Python & the Holy Grail, 12 Monkeys, Time Bandits), a few I haven't seen but have been meaning to forever (The Meaning of Life, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, The Fisher King), one I thought sucked (The Brothers Grimm) and one I've tried to get through twice and couldn't (Brazil - I'll go back to this one again). I'll add this to the need to see list.

Tideland is very much out there, not bad, but just out there even for Terry G's standards.

Huge fan of Brazil, its one of those movies that gets better and better each time i watch it

 

[nflman2033]

Big Fan
Directed by Robert D. Siegel.
2009. Rated R, 86 minutes.
Cast:
Patton Oswalt
Kevin Corrigan
Michael Rapaport
Marcia Jean Kurtz
Gino Cafarelli
Matt Servitto
Serafina Fiore
Polly Humphreys
Jonathan Hamm​

Plot: Paul (Oswalt) is a die-hard New York Giants football fan. He eats, sleeps and drinks "G-Men". What will he do after he is beaten up by Quantrell Bishop (Hamm), his favorite player on his favorite team.

The Good: Director Robert D. Siegel does the impossible and gives us an original movie - one dealing with sports, no less. In fact, I'd hesitate to actually call it a sports movie. It's more of a sports fan movie. Instead of focusing on a player, team or coach and working up to "the big game," we walk with an ordinary joe who lives to support his team. That fan, Paul, is portrayed brilliantly and without a hint of sarcasm by Patton Oswalt. That last part is important because Paul could've easily become a comic figure and sank the movie. Through a skillfully ambiguous ending, we're not sure whether to feel happy or sad for him even though he is inexplicably happy. By the way, that's not a spoiler. You have to see it to know what I'm talking about. As Paul's mom, Marcia Jean Kurtz is not only a riot but a constant reminder of how pathetic her son truly is.

The Bad: While Paul is supposed to be a sad case, the movie took the easiest route to that destination by utilizing stereotypes. In this case it's that a guy who's passionate about his team and likes to call t he sports radio shows he listens to has to be child-like in all areas of life. Paul is so much so, it's nearly to the point of retardation. His buddy Sal (Corrigan) is similar. However, I wanted more from Sal. We can guess, but are never really sure how he feels about all that's going on. It's especially important since Sal is actually present when Paul is beaten. And what happens with what Paul's brother, Jeff (Cafarelli), is trying to do for him?

The Ugly: Whether you find her attractive or not, former (current?) porn-star Serafina Fiore as Paul's sister-in-law Gina has an unbelievably distracting appearance.

Recommendation: While it's an excellent movie, it's hard to recommend because it's a bit of a downer. It's doubly so for someone like me who is actually a Giants fan and likes to listen to sports talk radio. That said, definitely see this if you want to see a drama that's sports related but still has a unique vision. Just don't go looking for any actual sports scenes because there are none.

The Opposite View: Vadim Rizov, Village Voice

What the Internet Says: 7.1/10 on imdb.com (2/4/10), 88% on rottentomatoes.com, 70/100 on metacritic.com

MY SCORE: 9/10​

cool, i have that on my netflix watch instantly, gonna check it out

 

[nflman2033]

Tromeo and Juliet
Directed by Lloyd Kaufman.
1997. Rated R, 107 minutes.
Cast:
Jane Jensen
Will Keenan
Valentine Miele
William Beckwith
Sean Gunn
Debbie Rochon
Flip Brown
Earl McKoy
Wendy Adams​

This is simply the most bizarre adaptation of Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet" you'll ever see. It's brought to us by the good people of Troma. If you aren't familiar with them, they are synoymous with low budget, highly entertaining trash. Perhaps you may have seen...or at least heard of...such titles as Surf Nazis Must Die, Class of Nuke 'Em High or their most famous work The Toxic Avenger. In fact, the tagline for this movie says it all: "Body Piercing. Kinky sex. Dismemberment. The things that made Shakespeare great." That is precisely what it delivers. Hardly a moment goes by that doesn't amaze you, repulse you, make you laugh out loud or simply shake your head and wonder what you just saw. The twist put on the legendary tale may actually be too much to handle for many, especially since the results of that twist are wonderfully disturbing. The writing is actually pretty solid for what it is and the acting is terrifically bad. Oh, and about that body piercing, I'm pretty sure we actually see one done. if not, it sure looks real. Just in case you haven't guessed by now this is so bad, it's awesome!

MY SCORE: -10/10​

lol, i about died laughing the first time i saw this, however not as funny second time around

 

[dell71]

What was your opinion of Traffic?

Outstanding. Another I haven't watched since I started reviewing movies but I love it jsut the same.