Dell's Good, Bad & Ugly Movie Reviews

[dell71]

How do you watch most of these movies dell? Netflix?

Various sources include:

Blockbuster Online
Local Public Library
Sister-in-law
Occasional online viewing

For "Salt", I actually made it to a theater.

 

[Fox1994]

Imagine if, instead of us spending plenty of time with Ricky and Tre, we were entirely focused on Doughboy. This is what Baby does.

For some reason this made me :rofl:

ANYWAY, I'm not sold on Salt.

 

[dell71]

For some reason this made me :rofl:

ANYWAY, I'm not sold on Salt.

The Cliff notes on Salt: dumb action flick, but very well done.

 

[dell71]

I watched Salt in the same weekend as Inception and didn't hate it, so that says something about Salt.

Indeed, it does.

Off topic: jeffersondavis screen name, Lincoln avatar...hmmm...interesting.

 

[Houston]

Have you seen Pan's Labyrinth?

 

[dell71]

Have you seen Pan's Labyrinth?

Why yes, I have...(looking through flash drive to find the saved review)...Ah, here it is (quickly updating imdb score)...

Pan's Labyrinth
Rated R, 119 minutes.
Directed by Guillermo Del Toro. Starring Ivana Baquero, Sergi Lopez, Maribel Verdu, Doug Jones.

Plot: In war-torn Spain in 1944, Ofelia (Baquero) goes with her mom, Carmen (Ariadna Gil), who is in the late stages of a troubled pregnancy and joining her husband, the sadistic Army officer Cpt. Vidal (Lopez) on the base he commands. Once there, Ofelia discovers the fantasy world within a nearby rock-labyrinth where she is believed to be a long-lost princess.

The Good: Though it's a fairy tale, it's hardly for kids. Alongside the Disney-style story-line we get a brutal war movie. It intertwines the dual plots very well so neither side gets neglected. The visuals alternate nicely between the fantastical & the brutal. Baquero, our young leading actress, fares very well. She didn't annoy me, which is a really good sign for a child actress. On top of that, she actually managed to convey emotion with facial expressions as opposed to that creepy blank stare or blood-curdling scream we usually get from Dakota Fanning. Sergi Lopez plays a nice villain. His Cpt. Vidal not only seems to delight in torturing and killing people but lets it be known that dying in battle is the only way to go. Maribel Verdu (Mercedes) gives perhaps the best performance as her character plays both sides of the fence. I must also mention Doug Jones who pulls creature double-duty as Pan, the faun & the unforgettable Pale Man. Still, the star here is director Guillermo Del Toro who deftly weaves the two main plotlines & various sub-plots seamlessly.

The Bad: It's a bit too derivative. For the fantasy side of the story it seems to have taken Alice in Wonderland & amped up the tension factor. The war side of the story has been done before, as well. To it's credit, the two have never been done together, so this flaw is forgivable. The ending is telegraphed just a bit. Again, this is forgivable because it still works. Finally, the special fx work really well for the most part but there are a few instances where they're off just enough to notice. A little bit bigger budget would probably have helped. But hey it won 3 Oscars, including one for Best Achievement in Art Direction, so what do I know?

The Ugly: El Capitan sewing his own face back together. Yeesh!

Recommendation: If you're a fan of fantasy movies, then this is a must-see. It's certainly a fairy-tale for people too old for fairy-tales. If your kids can handle the blood & guts parts then they probably would like it as well but that's for you to decide, it is rated 'R' after all. A warning to all subtitleophobes, its in Spanish. I'm not sure if there's an English track on the DVD. Unless I'm watching with someone else, I don't even bother checking.

The Internet Says: 8.4/10 on imdb.com (#70 on top 250 of all-time as of 9/17/10), 96% on the tomatometer.*

MY SCORE: 9/10

 

[Houston]

Ah ha, I saw it when it first came out when I was about 15. I liked it then, but I can appreciate it more now.

I loved the 2 major story lines, they were in some weird way independent of one another but they worked together perfectly. If there was no war going on then Pan still would've completed her task, and if Pan wasn't there the "rebels" still would've won the war. It's literally 2 independent things and the director made them seem dependent on one another.
It's funny to see. Pan is no human princess that is trapped, she means nothing to the rebels who don't even know she exist. And at the same the war outside of her bedroom is the least of her concerns. Both sides are running around oblivious to the other side. Mercedes is really the only thing that bring the 2 together.

My favorite part is at the end when the captain tells them to tell his son the time that he died and Mercedes says "No, he won't eve know your name" and then shoots him. I lul'd

 

[James2Stapleton]

you seen Romper Stomper, Dell?

 

[dell71]

you seen Romper Stomper, Dell?

Can't say that I have.

 

[dell71]

Gamer
<strong>Directed by Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor.</strong>
<em>2009. Rated R, 95 minutes.
Cast:
Gerard Butler
Logan Lerman
Michael C. Hall
Amber Valetta
Chris “Ludacris” Bridges
Terry Crews
Kyra Sedgwick</em>​

Kable (Butler) is a death row inmate but has achieved worldwide fame as a character in a real live first-person shooter. You see, in this version of the future, gaming has truly gone next level. Many people pay to control others, or get paid to be controlled, in video games using real people as characters in a game that looks like “The Sims”, only with actual human beings.

As far as that shooting game goes, only death row inmates are used for that and that is where Kable comes in. He has survived longer than anyone else. If he survives one more battle, he will earn his freedom from both the game and prison. However, it’s not entirely up to him. During gameplay, he is controlled by Simon (Lerman), who has become a superstar in his own right due to his gaming prowess.

The premise is intriguing as all get-out. It is especially so for those of us who remember the genesis of home video-gaming and wonder just how far it can go. We get a movie that’s entertaining in the way only non-stop remorseless and graphic violence can be. It’s also visually stimulating because it mixes that violence with collages of odd behavior and nude or scantily clad bodies stitched together by quick cuts. Unfortunately, the story never mines the potential depths of its subject, preferring instead to stick with the tried and true approach of having a megalomaniacal villain try to take over the world. The effect is we can have fun watching it, but may have trouble remembering anything about it once we hit the “open” button on our DVD player. Well, memories of the several dance moments may linger for a bit, but that’s not a good thing.

<strong>The Opposite View:</strong> <a href=”http://www.laweekly.com/2009-09-03/film-tv/movie-reviews-amreeka-gamer-the-headless-woman/2/”>Vadim Rizov, LA Weekly</a>

<strong>What the Internet Says:</strong> <a href=”http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1034032/”>5.7/10 on imdb.com</a> (9/11/10), <a href=”http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/gamer/”>30% on rottentomatoes.com</a>, <a href=”http://www.metacritic.net/film/titles/gamer”>27/100 on metacritic.com</a>

<strong>MY SCORE: 5.5/10</strong>​

 

[dell71]

The Collector
<strong>Directed by Marcus Dunstan.</strong>
<em>2009. Rated R, 90 minutes.
Cast:
Josh Stewart
Juan Fernandez
Michael Reilly Burke
Andrea Roth
Karley Scott Collins
Daniella Alonso
Madeline Zima</em>​

Ex-con Arkin (Stewart) is doing some work on the home of the Chase family. When his wife informs him she and their little girl are taking off to get away from the loan shark she owes money to, he tells her to hold her horses and he’ll get the money by midnight.

Now that you’ve wasted a few precious seconds reading the previous paragraph, you can file it away in your mental recycle bin. It doesn’t really matter to the movie other than as an excuse to get him into the Chase house after hours where he hopes to crack the family safe and steal enough valuables to save his wife’s hiney. Sounds pretty important, right? Forget about the safe, just know that he breaks into the house.

What’s the important part, you ask? When he gets there, he soon discovers that someone else has already broken in. Apparently, this other dude has been there all day long, at least. Not only does he have various family members bound and beaten to within an inch of their lives but he’s also boobie-trapped almost every room in the house. We’re not talking a bucket of water over a doorway, here. He’s got a few dozen bear traps set in one room, a floor covered in goo in another, a couple windows turned into guillotines, other windows and doors boarded up, rusty nails sticking out of the stairs…and…I’m pretty sure I’m missing something. You’d think the guy had a movie crew helping him.

Most of our time is spent watching Arkin sneak around trying to avoid the other guy, whom we have to assume is “The Collector” because that’s the title of the movie, and get out of the house. Along the way, Arkin nearly gets decapitated or otherwise maimed and stumbles across dead and nearly dead family members. Well, the littlest Chase, Hannah (Collins), is unharmed because the bad guy can never find her in those spots where she would’ve quickly lost to other kids in a game of hide-and-seek. Of course, that’s the case. You know we hate to see kids hurt in movies. At least that’s the case when it comes to little kids. Teenagers? Kill ‘em all! Oh, yeah…<em>The Collector</em>, that’s what I’m watching, right?

Anyway, we have no idea who this other guy is or what he wants other than to put a hurtin’ on some folks. Eventually, we’re sort of told as one of those almost dead people blurts out the killer’s motive. How exactly does the victim know this? I can’t assume the killer told him, that dude doesn’t talk. His mom isn’t hanging aroung to fill us in on what the camp counselors allowed to happen to him. There’s no group of parents that burned him alive, years ago nor anyone from whatever mental institution he’s obviously escaped from to recount what he did to his sister. I guess he has telepathic gifts, or the victim has the ability to learn by osmosis. Now, I’m rambling.

I ramble when a movie pisses me off. There’s little to no setup, reason or even a decent payoff. It’s just random, but not in the way random killings can be terrifying, just plain old random. It’s truly as if the boogeyman jumped out of the closet with no humanity beneath his odd looking mask, aside from a strange predilection for bugs, and no past to draw pain from. As idiotic as you might think <em>Friday the 13th</em> movies are, there is some sort of logic at work, however twisted. Here, there is none. It’s just an hour nad a half of boobie traps, torture and murder that is occasionally visually stimulating but not nearly enough to overcome our sheer confusion. And it has the nerve to end by threatening us with the possibility of a sequel! Legend has it, this was originally intended to be a chapter in the <em>Saw</em> franchise, but the powers that be rejected it. I can see why.

<strong>The Opposite View:</strong> <a href=”http://www.variety.com/review/VE1117940757.html?categoryid=31&cs=1”>John Anderson, Variety</a>

<strong>What the Internet Says:</strong> <a href=”http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0844479/”>6.1/10 on imdb.com</a> (9/14/10), <a href=”http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/1214027-collector/”>28% on rottentomatoes.com</a>, <a href=”http://www.metacritic.com/movie/the-collector/critic-reviews”>29/100 on metacritic.com</a>

<strong>MY SCORE: 3.5/10</strong>​

 

[Fox1994]

I think I'm gonna start renting/downloading Spanish-language films to shape-up my Spanish. Also, Gamer was shit, and so - apparently - was The Collector. So I won't be watching that.

 

[dell71]

^^^ Let me know how that works out.

 

[SOS4Prez]

I'll second Romper Stomper. Early Russell Crowe, probably one of his best.

 

[nflman2033]

I'll second Romper Stomper. Early Russell Crowe, probably one of his best.

yeah I'll 3rd it for ya dell

 

[dell71]

The Expendables
<strong>Directed by Sylvester Stallone.</strong>
<em>2010. Rated R, 103 minutes.
Cast:
Sylvester Stallone
Jason Statham
Jet Li
Giselle Itié
Dolph Lundgren
Mickey Rourke
Eric Roberts
Terry Crews
Randy Couture
Steve Austin</em>​

<strong>Plot:</strong> A group of mercenaries are hired to take out the dictator of a banana republic on a tiny South American island. Everything going boom ensues.

<strong>The Good:</strong> Whenever there was shooting and/or explosions. The action is what we came for and it is very well done in that over the top, goofy way many of Stallone’s movies are. Bodies get ripped apart. There’s lots of yelling and killing everyone in a building is never enough. Through some form of pyrotechnics, the building has to be destroyed, too. Although Sly is the writer, director and star, he’s wise enough to let Jason Statham do most of the heavy lifting. The star of the <em>Crank</em> and <em>Transporter</em> franchises has many of the best scenes, here. The other “best” moments go to Mickey Rourke. He’s just so good, he makes Stallone’s dialogue feel Shakespearean. There are also a few nice comedic moments. Surprisingly, they tend to involve Jet Li. Also squeezed in is a funny scene that really should’ve been cut for adding nothing to the movie, except for the fact that Stallone finally shares the screen for a brief moment with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

<strong>The Bad:</strong> Too much downtime. This is a movie that really should’ve been non-stop action. However, too much time is spent on the bromance between Stallone and Statham and a bunch of grown men whining about their problems. It really makes time between action scenes pass too slowly. Also, a couple of our expendables are even more expendable than the others. If we’re going to have all this talking going on, how is it two guys on the team (Crews and Couture) barely get any screen time?

<strong>The Ugly:</strong> I love Terry Crews but I kept wondering why Carl Weathers didn’t get that role.

<strong>Recommendation:</strong> It’s a Sly Stallone special: loud, excessive and goofy. Judge accordingly. I like it well enough, but I’m not blown away by it.

<strong>The Opposite View:</strong> <a href=”http://www.nola.com/movies/index.ssf/2010/08/the_expendables_review.html”>Mike Scott, New Orleans Times-Picayune</a>

<strong>What the Internet Says:</strong> <a href=”http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1320253/”>7.1/10 on imdb.com</a> (9/14/10), <a href=”http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/the_expendables/”>40% on rottentomatoes.com</a>, <a href=”http://apps.metacritic.com/film/titles/expendables”>45/100 on metacritic.com</a>

<strong>MY SCORE: 6/10</strong>​

 

[KillaK]

Your review on Expendables was pretty accurate. I kind of wish there was more Dolph in there, dude is great. I like your Carl Weathers idea.

 

[Buzzman]

Dolph was dumb as fuck, The Expendables was dumb as fuck.

 

[dell71]

The Messenger
<strong>Directed by Oren Moverman.</strong>
<em>2009. Rated R, 112 minutes.
Cast:
Ben Foster
Woody Harrelson
Samantha Morton
Jena Malone
Steve Buscemi
Jahmir Duran-Abreau</em>​

Staff Sergeant Will Montgomery (Foster) has been sent home from the War in Iraq. Something I won’t spoil has left him with damage to one of his legs, one eye and presumably, his psyche. In a move that doesn’t seem like a good idea for a guy who seems fragile, he’s assigned to work with Captain Tony Stone (Harrelson) on a casualty notification team. In addition to his normal duties, he has to go with Cpt. Stone whenever needed to notify a soldier’s next of kin that their love one has been killed in defense of the country.

In keeping with a recent tren in war movies like <em>The Hurt Locker</em> and <em>Jarhead</em>, there is much less plot and much more slice of life. We see two guys working through a number of issues and develop a friendship. Among those issues is the mess of Will’s love life and Tony’s alcoholism, which both men seem to willfully complicate. However, there is no big rush to resolve something. There is no villain to be foiled, nor day to be saved. It’s just two guys. Still, these two guys worm their way into our hearts. We empathize deeply with them. We start to really understand them even though they hardly bother to explain themselves. Well, Will doesn’t. Tony likes to explain a lot of things.

What we love most about them is what we most hate: their job. We love them for doing it. We hate that it has to be done. It is intrinsically terrifying, perhaps almost as much as actually going to war. Though I’m a vet, I’ve never been to combat, so forgive me if I’m way off base, here. It just seems going into combat causes an anticipatory fear, but once you’re there, there is a chance you’ll live. After being in it for awhile, the fear doesn’t go away, but it subsides enough for you to focus on survival. With these guys, there’s no life or death involved in their current station in life. However, day after day they’re tasked with telling someone they will never see their child, husband or wife ever again. If you’ve ever had to break that news to someone, you know how difficult that is. Now imagine having to knock on a stranger’s door and do it every day.

The scenes of the men going about their business are masterful depictions of human drama. They’re simply gripping and like the rest of the movie, acted perfectly. Woody Harrelson deserved the nomination this role earned him for Best Supporting Actor. Ben Foster’s work has been largely overlooked, but is no less brilliant. Perhaps even more stunning than either of our two heroes is Samantha Morton’s work as a newly widowed mom. Her pain bleeds all over every scene but she’s never loud or showy about it. It’s a subtle performance that mirrors Foster’s. It may even be more poignant because she doesn’t have the military to look after her the way he does.

Don’t watch this if you’re looking for a traditional war movie. In fact, there is no war to be seen. There are only two guys. They are two guys you have to see.

<strong>The Opposite View:</strong> <a href=”http://www.avclub.com/articles/the-messenger,35308/”>Noel Murray, The Onion (A.V. Club)</a>

<strong>What the Internet Says:</strong> <a href=”http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0790712/”>7.4/10 on imdb.com</a> (9/17/10), <a href=”http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/10011016-messenger/”>90% on rottentomatoes.com</a>, <a href=”http://apps.metacritic.com/film/titles/messenger2009”>78/100 on metacritic.com</a>

<strong>MY SCORE: 9/10</strong>​

 

[CCBrink]

The Messenger
<strong>Directed by Oren Moverman.</strong>
<em>2009. Rated R, 112 minutes.
Cast:
Ben Foster
Woody Harrelson
Samantha Morton
Jena Malone
Steve Buscemi
Jahmir Duran-Abreau</em>​

Staff Sergeant Will Montgomery (Foster) has been sent home from the War in Iraq. Something I won’t spoil has left him with damage to one of his legs, one eye and presumably, his psyche. In a move that doesn’t seem like a good idea for a guy who seems fragile, he’s assigned to work with Captain Tony Stone (Harrelson) on a casualty notification team. In addition to his normal duties, he has to go with Cpt. Stone whenever needed to notify a soldier’s next of kin that their love one has been killed in defense of the country.

In keeping with a recent tren in war movies like <em>The Hurt Locker</em> and <em>Jarhead</em>, there is much less plot and much more slice of life. We see two guys working through a number of issues and develop a friendship. Among those issues is the mess of Will’s love life and Tony’s alcoholism, which both men seem to willfully complicate. However, there is no big rush to resolve something. There is no villain to be foiled, nor day to be saved. It’s just two guys. Still, these two guys worm their way into our hearts. We empathize deeply with them. We start to really understand them even though they hardly bother to explain themselves. Well, Will doesn’t. Tony likes to explain a lot of things.

What we love most about them is what we most hate: their job. We love them for doing it. We hate that it has to be done. It is intrinsically terrifying, perhaps almost as much as actually going to war. Though I’m a vet, I’ve never been to combat, so forgive me if I’m way off base, here. It just seems going into combat causes an anticipatory fear, but once you’re there, there is a chance you’ll live. After being in it for awhile, the fear doesn’t go away, but it subsides enough for you to focus on survival. With these guys, there’s no life or death involved in their current station in life. However, day after day they’re tasked with telling someone they will never see their child, husband or wife ever again. If you’ve ever had to break that news to someone, you know how difficult that is. Now imagine having to knock on a stranger’s door and do it every day.

The scenes of the men going about their business are masterful depictions of human drama. They’re simply gripping and like the rest of the movie, acted perfectly. Woody Harrelson deserved the nomination this role earned him for Best Supporting Actor. Ben Foster’s work has been largely overlooked, but is no less brilliant. Perhaps even more stunning than either of our two heroes is Samantha Morton’s work as a newly widowed mom. Her pain bleeds all over every scene but she’s never loud or showy about it. It’s a subtle performance that mirrors Foster’s. It may even be more poignant because she doesn’t have the military to look after her the way he does.

Don’t watch this if you’re looking for a traditional war movie. In fact, there is no war to be seen. There are only two guys. They are two guys you have to see.

<strong>The Opposite View:</strong> <a href=”http://www.avclub.com/articles/the-messenger,35308/”>Noel Murray, The Onion (A.V. Club)</a>

<strong>What the Internet Says:</strong> <a href=”http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0790712/”>7.4/10 on imdb.com</a> (9/17/10), <a href=”http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/10011016-messenger/”>90% on rottentomatoes.com</a>, <a href=”http://apps.metacritic.com/film/titles/messenger2009”>78/100 on metacritic.com</a>

<strong>MY SCORE: 9/10</strong>​

I started watching this movie a while back but didn't finish it because my relatives came. From what I saw, it was great. Couldn't imagine doing that for a living.