Homers--What Your Team's Biggest Homer Has to Say

[Obst]

"Doesn't matter if our Quarterback can't read, Maurice Jones-Drew is really fast and that equals 6 wins alone"

I'm not even going to bother to try to figure that one out.

 

[Shayn•Da•Pain]

Here's my equally lame reply

Arizona Cardinals "As long as Larry Fitzgerald is in Arizona, Warner will play like a 25 year old"
Wasn't he bagging groceries at 25? If the team could make a tackle maybe it would matter more how well he plays...James Harrison could end up with more rushing yards than your whole team.

Atlanta Falcons "Matt Ryan will lead the league in self-caught receptions for QB's"
Must mean he'll lead his team in receptions too...it was fluke anybody caught more than 10 balls last year.

Baltimore Ravens "The Ravens could field only Ed Reed in the secondary and still have a better pass defense then the rest of the AFC North"
Outside of Pittsburgh that might be true, unfortunately they have a better run D, Offense and Special Teams too. Enjoy another year falling short.

Buffalo Bills "Brian Moorman could play WR or RB on half of the teams in the NFL because of his speed"
Fail.

Carolina Panthers "You couldn't build a house strong enough to stop our running game"
That would actually be scary if that D you got wasn't built like a house of sticks, little piggy.

Chicago Bears "Brian Urlacher is the hardest hitting defensive player in the NFL and hasn't lost a step"
Adrian Peterson says "After you're done eating my dust, lick my shoes, they get real dirty running all over you."

Cincinnati Bengals "Carson Palmer could throw a football through a needle from 40 yards away.... twice"
If somebody was there to catch the damn thing that would be amazing.

Cleveland Browns "Our QB situation isn't to worry about, Jamal Lewis will carry himself to the playoffs"
I hope he gets good seats, playoff games are crowded and cold in the stands at Pittsburgh.

Dallas Cowboys "Now that T.O. is out of Dallas, we will finally win the Super Bowl"
You mean after Romo gets injured or stops turning the ball over and shooting his team in the foot...right?

Denver Broncos "Josh McDaniels turned Cassell into something special....expect Orton to play like Montana by Week 6"
Ortan is blind as a bat behind a short o-line, reads a defense like he 3rd grade english, and throws like Rico from Napoleon Dynomite...good luck with that.

Detroit Lions " A 53 man roster doesn't give you enough players to stop Calvin Johnson.
But it does give you enough players to score 32 points per game...which is apparently what it takes to lose 16 games.

Green Bay Packers "Aaron Rodgers could possibly break Brett Favre's all-time touchdown record with time.....Week 13."
And his interception record too I'm sure...Week 12.

Houston Texans "Andre Johnson and Steve Slaton are so good, we could have a infant at Quarterback running the offense and we'd still put up more points then your team.
Yeah, with a better QB you just might do better than middle of the pack in points next year.

Indianapolis Colts "If you think Peyton Manning is good now, wait until he stops playing in his sleep"
Quick, somebody wake up your defense too, because they hibernate like Yoge the Bear every fall.

Jacksonville Jaguars "Doesn't matter if our Quarterback can't read, Maurice Jones-Drew is really fast and that equals 6 wins alone"
Oh! I get it...because he only plays 6 full games.

Kansas City Chiefs "Having a QB faster then Larry Johnson entails our spot in the playoffs"
Unfortunately having Larry Johnson entails broken dreams and another year with the most overrated RB in the league.

Miami Dolphins "The wildcat offense is better then your team's base offense."
The Wildcat offense really helped you out with that 21st ranked scoring offense...But hey, you got an older Jason Taylor back.

Minnesota Vikings "Adrian Peterson will have 1,500 yards rushing this season...against NFC North opponents"
Amazing, that's the same number of yards Cutler will have on you next season...twice.

New England Patriots "Perfect season, only we'll be 19-0 this time considering our camera men get paid more then 75% of the players in the league"
Cheat all you want, but Owens will break Moss' season TD record, against the Patriots alone.

New Orleans Saints "Drew Brees is going to break Dan Marino's single-season passing record with no-name WR's and be instantly added into the Hall of Fame."
It's because he's the only Saint making a name for himself...take him away and you have a different colored Detroit Lions.

New York Giants "Now that Derrick Ward is gone, Brandon Jacobs will run for 2,000 yards and topple over 2 high-rise buildings"
It's a good damn thing he's not bullet proof. Sprains are this supermans kryptonite.

New York Jets "Eric Mangenius was a mangina, with a Quarterback who wasn't born in the mesozoic era, we'll win our division easily.
Brady is back, Owens is in town, Ronnie will run all day, and you don't even have a starting QB worth his weight in salt, but you'll easily win the division. Hey I got a bridge to sell ya.

Oakland Raiders "Nnamdi Asomougha could get pressure on the QB and make an interception on the same play. Best. Of. All.Time."
Big plans in Oakland next season, Al Davis is going to give away 100 yards rushing to the first 400 fans every home game.

Philadelphia Eagles "We have better receivers and running backs than you do. His name is Brian Westbrook."
Great, you'll have the most receivers and running backs on IR next year also.

Pittsburgh Steelers "We won the Super Bowl and therefore will automatically win next season's Super Bowl"
You'll do it without running backs, the same thing happens every year when you play the Ravens. makes me sad to say

San Diego Chargers "With Gates and LT, the only defense that's good enough to stop us is San Diego's.
Do you really want to insult Mr Gates and Mr Tomlinson by saying the 2nd to last in pass D can stop them?

San Francisco 49ers "Michael Crabtree will wear #80 this season"
It's just too bad Shaun Hill will wear #13 again and not #16 or #8.

Seattle Seahawks "Now that our training staff has played the board game operation, our team will stay healthy and return to the playoffs"
That's funny, because your head coach thinks X's and O's are only used in Tic-Tac-Toe, which is the only game he can teach to football players.

St.Louis Rams "Now that Jackson is healthy, the greatest show on turf shall return in 2009-2010"
You're right, it will return 5 times next season. Twice with Warner and the Cards, Twice with Bruce and the Niners, and one more time with Holt and the Jags.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers "Antonio Bryant throwing the ball to himself is the NFC South's worst nightmare. Oh yeah, cadillac is out of the shop"
Watching any of the NFC south's games is a nightmare, Bryant throwing couldn't make it any worse. Oh yeah, I wince everytime Cadillac gets sent back on IR.

Tennessee Titans "Kerry Collins is good, and if we put Vince Young at Running Back with Chris Johnson, we'll be unstoppable.
With Haynesworth gone, you'll have to worry about stopping everybody else first.

Washington Redskins "Jason Campbell just needs time to develop, he'll come into his own with time"
In doubt a lifetime is enough to develop him. What is he coming into, the unemployment office?

 

[Yawkey Way]

i didn't laugh.

 

[JOHNNYTHECLOWN]

patriots one is lame - i think if they went by what an ACTUAL homer would say like, "i'd fuck brady" prob be a little funnier

 

[Saluki]

Tom Brady prob would fuck him back

Brady = Gay

 

[JOHNNYTHECLOWN]

Tom Brady prob would fuck him back

Brady = Gay

BLASPHEMY!!

 

[Shayn•Da•Pain]

Tom Brady prob would fuck him back

Brady = Gay

BLASPHEMY!!

Blesphemy is he's whiping his chin off, and adjusting his belt while wearing chaps on brokeback mountain.

 

[Mogriffjr]

so how about the geniouses who thought they were lame...come up with better ones?....

 

[Shayn•Da•Pain]

so how about the geniouses who thought they were lame...come up with better ones?....

Well I did an anti-homer reply. I thought some were funny. Others...kinda lame. Like my equally lame list.

Here's my equally lame reply

 

[NAHSTE]

went tanning last night brah, hands are grease free today.

I wonder when someone here will have the brain capacity to come up with something other than me using a tanning bed 1 to 2 times a week to try to insult me with?