INT. INTERROGATION ROOM
In a small, tiled room, one tiny lamp illuminates the suspect's face. He sits at a small, dark brown wooden desk. On the desk rests an olive green coffee mug and a small ceramic plate. A cigarette slowly burns, sending small bits of white smoke rising into the conversation.
BRNTO4LIFE sits across from one police officer,
TWIGG4075. The other,
MONGO, stands intimately in the suspect's face.
BRNTO4LIFE
"It wasn't me, I promise."
TWIGG4075
"I wish I could believe that, you little rat bastard podcaster..."
MONGO
"Let me break the little bitch's controller!"
TWIGG4075
Mongo, take a break.
[
MONGO gives
TWIGG4075 a look and, after a beat, storms out of the interrogation room.]
TWIGG4075
I'm charging you with digital theft and the obstruction of an officer's achievement whoring!
[As
TWIGG4075 turns to leave,
MONGO bursts back into the room.]
Mongo, I thought I told you to...
MONGO [Interjecting]
I can't take it anymore! It wasn't him!
TWIGG4075
What are you talking about? Everything comes back to him! He has to be the guy!
MONGO
Exactly! It seems a little too coincidental that the evidence perfectly lines up, dont'cha think? We've got to let this guy go and get back out there and wrap this up before the captain catches wind of this...
[
TWIGG4075 motions for
BRNTO4LIFE to get up.]
TWIGG4075
Get the fuck outta here. And don't let me see you around these parts ever again!
BRNTO4LIFE
N-n-n-n-n-no, sir!
[
BRNTO4LIFE makes a move for the door.
TWIGG4075 abruptly stops him.]
TWIGG4075
Hey, kid. I think I love you.
[
TWIGG4075 leans in to give a kiss to a terrfied and confused
BRNTO4LIFE. In an instant, his eyes widen and he freezes.
MONGO has jammed an ass baton into his anus.]
MONGO [looking to BRNTO4LIFE]
Go! Hurry!
BRNTO4LIFE sprints through the wide open double doors of the station as a silhouetted MONGO tends to a doubled-over TWIGG4075.
TWIGG4075 [V.O.]
And that's the way my first ever interrogation went down as detective. I got better from there...
FADE TO BLACK