Your All-Hate Team - NFL 2009

[Bmore]

QB - Tom Brady, NE: Bitch, thats the only word to describe Brady. Dude complains to the refs, acts cocky when interviewed. He seems like one of those D-bags that gets a little famous and goes overboard.

RB - Larry Johnson, (formerly) KC: Sure the chiefs in a 2 year period ran you into the ground, but thats no reason to diss coaches and players on your team when your scrub ass can't pick up a first down on a 3rd and 1.

WR - Terrell Owens, Buf: I still remember when you blew off the Ravens. Funny thing is I don't know if I should thank you or not. Because we got Mason a year later and he can catch a ball.

WR - Hines Ward, PIT: I don't know what pisses me off more, the fact that you cheap shot defenders or the fact that you are always smiling. Pitt is down by 21, your smiling. Pitt is up by 21, your smiling. Wipe that fuckin' smirk off you faggot.

DB - Troy Polamalu, PIT: I don't know if it is because you were the sole reason why we didn't go to the superbowl last year. Or the fact that some people actually say your better then Ed Reed. I actually feel bad for you, since you have to watch Reed bask in greatness.

DB - Roy Williams, CIN: You couldn't cover water if you fell out of a boat.

Coach - Mike Tomlin, PITT: Way to take over a already superbowl caliber team and claim that you earned your superbowl ring.

D-Coordinator - Greg Mattison, BAL: Blitz you stupid son of a bitch, blitz!!! We aren't paying T-Sizzle a shit load of money for you to have him drop back in coverage every down.

 

[Woy]

RB Cedric Benson: I traded for Benson this week, and he immediately gets injured.
RB Ronnie Brown: Brown and Benson both went down and out with injuries within minutes of each other! DAMNIT!
RB Ricky Williams: Yeah...this is who I traded for Benson. Now Ricky will dominate while Brown is injured, and I got jack to show for it!

Wow, that has to fucking suck.

 

[steeljake]

DB - Troy Polamalu, PIT: I don't know if it is because you were the sole reason why we didn't go to the superbowl last year. Or the fact that some people actually say your better then Ed Reed. I actually feel bad for you, since you have to watch Reed bask in greatness.

Troy can't see Ed actually... The glare from his two rings is just to bright...


my list:

QB:

Tom Brady: get a dress you fucking pussy.

Jamrcus Russel: I hate the raiders but even I feel sorry for that team with this guy at QB. Not only does he suck, but he thinks it is isnt his fault that his wide recievers cant catch a ball throw 20 yards over their heads.

RB:

LT: you are finished just walk away now before you can't.

Brian Westbrook: The only person hurt more than you is Bob Sanders, and the margin is narrow.

TE:

Alge Crumpler: good god son, did you eat the weight that Slimdale lost or what? You look like an offensive lineman... only bigger.

WR:

T.O.: the only person in the NFL that drops more passes than you is Ted Ginn Jr, but at least he idoesnt blow up teams.

Roy Williams: a 1st, 3rd and 6th round draft pick to get you to big D and you are being shown up by some dude name Miles? Even Matt Millen is sorry he drafted you.

O-Line:

Pittsburgh: either suck or don't. This whole we are good for two weeks then look worse than Green bay the next is just pissing me off.

LB:

Lawerence Timmons: we let Foote go so that your back up could start? get the fuck on the field son.

Demarcus Ware: where are you at man? you got paid and just disappeared. DPOY my ass.

DB:

Roy Williams (CIN): Not only can you not cover, but now you hit like a bitch too.

Nnamdi Asomugha: you were the next Champ Bailey and you signed an extension in Oakland? crack is bad my friend.

Kicker:

Jeff Reed: fuck you you fucking fuck

O-coordinator:

Ron Turner: I know the Bears have shitty wr's and an iffy o-line but that doesnt stop you from running play action roll out to help your idiot QB.

Bruce Aryans: 5 wide on 2nd down and on 3rd and short? GTFO. run the fucking ball, dont listen to ben.

D-Coordinator - Greg Mattison: how the fuck do you not blitz? i hope you dont start when the steelers play you.

HC:

Eric mangini: How does this guy get hired anyways? he has the personality of a dead fish and he loses. Only in Cleveland I guess...

Owner:

Al Davis: Die.

 

[Rush]

QB-Jay Cutler
You're throwing too many interceptions

RB-Matt Forte
You're running slow

WR-Devin Hester
You have cool hair but sometimes you slip on routes and cause INT's.

WR-Earl Bennett
Sometimes you step on the field

TE-Greg Olson
You don't catch enough passes

THE ENTIRE OFFENSIVE LINE
Sucks

DT-Tommie Harris
You got ejected because you punched a guy........he had a fucking helmet on

LB- Nick Roach/Hunter Hillenmeyer
You're still on the team

LB-Brian Urlacher
Limp Wrist...wtf.

DB's
Sucks

 

[Senser81]

QB - Mark Sanchez, NYJ: has killed my fantasy team in two ways. First, he can't complete a pass to Braylon Edwards. Second, he is great at throwing INTs then pushing the returner out-of-bounds at the 1, which screws my Jets defense.

Self-quote FTL.

Just wanted to point out that Sanchez threw yet another game-killing INT against the Jags. This time, the Jags defender returned the ball a long distance, had an easy TD, then tripped over his own feet and was downed at the 1-yard line, thus ensuring the TD would count against the Jets defense.

FUCK YOU MARK SANCHEZ! ALPHA-MALE MY ASS!

 

[Bmore]

QB-Jay Cutler
You're throwing too many interceptions

RB-Matt Forte
You're running slow

WR-Devin Hester
You have cool hair but sometimes you slip on routes and cause INT's.

WR-Earl Bennett
Sometimes you step on the field

TE-Greg Olson
You don't catch enough passes

THE ENTIRE OFFENSIVE LINE
Sucks

DT-Tommie Harris
You got ejected because you punched a guy........he had a fucking helmet on

LB- Nick Roach/Hunter Hillenmeyer
You're still on the team

LB-Brian Urlacher
Limp Wrist...wtf.

DB's
Sucks

I laughed my ass off...

 

[Woy]

LMAO @ Rush's list.

 

[steeljake]

QB-Jay Cutler
You're throwing too many interceptions

RB-Matt Forte
You're running slow

WR-Devin Hester
You have cool hair but sometimes you slip on routes and cause INT's.

WR-Earl Bennett
Sometimes you step on the field

TE-Greg Olson
You don't catch enough passes

THE ENTIRE OFFENSIVE LINE
Sucks

DT-Tommie Harris
You got ejected because you punched a guy........he had a fucking helmet on

LB- Nick Roach/Hunter Hillenmeyer
You're still on the team

LB-Brian Urlacher
Limp Wrist...wtf.

DB's
Sucks

thats fucking gold jerry..

 

[Obst]

QB - Tony Romo, DAL: For the past few years I've had the pleasure of defending you and saying you wouldn't collapse later in the season. Every year you seem to find a way to be the most unclutch QB in the year when it counts. Way to go.

RB - Matt Forte, CHI: Thanks bro, your acted like you were one of the better running backs in the league last year, I took you with the 4th overall pick in my fantasy draft, then you took a big shit on my team.

RB - Steve Slaton, TEX: Your probably a bigger one year wonder than Matt Forte. 3 yards per carry and 7 fumbles this year, and in the past two games they have trusted you with an amazing 8 carries. Way to go bum.

Eagles O-Line, : Philly talked about how this line was one of the best in the league this year. Then nut case Shawn Andrews decided to get hurt again and begin his rapping career, and Jason Peters has shown why Buffalo didn't mind getting rid of him.

TE - Alge Crumpler, Titans: I agree with the others in this post, your fat and no one likes you. Hang it up.

WR - Braylon Edwards, NYJ: People say (NY) your an elite receiver, but besides 2007 what have you done except drop pass after pass? I seriously hate him more than any WR in the NFL.

WR - Josh Morgan, SF: I told EVERYONE that you were going to have a breakout season and with Crabtree holding out that you really were going to become one of the better wide outs in the league. Guess I was really wrong.

DT - Albert Haynesworth, WAS: Big Al loves to show up when money is on the line, that's about the only time.

LB - Joey Porter, MIA: Only had one elite year, and continues to talk trash every week, and makes other players step up for him. Can't stand his cockiness.

DB - Nate Clements, SF: Have you done anything before or since you raped the 49ers of their money?

Coach - Coach Spags, StL: Could you make the Rams any worse?

GM - Al Davis, OAK: I'm sure your loving your genius pick of DHB now.

D-Coordinator - Gregg Williams, NO: You fucked over or defense in Jacksonville by trying all these wacky things out like blitzing our safety every play and letting us get wrecked. Now you go to New Orleans and your having success? Fuck you.

 

[JMeist]

lol at you hating on Barnett and Capers.

Barnett was never supposed to be an impact player in the 3-4. He has never lined up in the 3-4 and there's good reason for it..He's undersized and cannot shed blocks.

As for Capers..How can you "hate" a guy who has historically put together some great defenses. You can't bust a coordinators balls when half of the players on that team are built for the 4-3 and never played in the 3-4 in their life.

 

[Senser81]

lol at you hating on Barnett and Capers.

Barnett was never supposed to be an impact player in the 3-4. He has never lined up in the 3-4 and there's good reason for it..He's undersized and cannot shed blocks.

As for Capers..How can you "hate" a guy who has historically put together some great defenses. You can't bust a coordinators balls when half of the players on that team are built for the 4-3 and never played in the 3-4 in their life.

Are you a dude or a chick?

Barnett was supposed to be freed up of his coverage responsibilities and allowed to freelance. He freelanced in the 4-3, but usually with disasterous results since he would abandon his responsibilities. Agreed that he cannot shed blocks, but I don't think he's undersized.

Capers last put together a good defense with Carolina in the mid-90's. Since then, he's overseen the Jags collapse, never once had a decent defense with the Texans, and did nothing in Miami. His misuse of Aaron Kampman is the NFL equivalent of Dick Rod using Steve Threet as his spread QB at Michigan.

 

[Flight24]

QB - Tony Romo, DAL: Barely beating out Brett Favre. I'm an Eagles fan, so that should be enough of a reason to hate him, but I think that he is completely overrated. He wouldn't be getting the attention he does if he was playing in any city besides Dallas.

RB - Brandon Jacobs, NYG: I respect his hard-nosed style and admit he is a good player, but it gets old seeing him run over my team's defense every time they play eachother.

RB - Nick Goings, CAR: A white man's hope to see a caucasion running back layed with this man. Didn't really work out.

Shawn Andrews, PHI: 'Nuff said.

TE - L.J. Smith, ATL: Awful hands, can't block. Perfect combination for a starting tight end.

WR - Devin Hester, CHI: Return kicks. You're good at it.

WR - Terrell Owens, BUF: Nice not hearing your voice anymore.

DL - Chris Clemons, PHI: He averages about 4.5 unnecessary penalties per game.

LB - Tedy Bruschi, NE: I don't care if you're retired. You're a douche.

DB - Brian Leonard: I don't know why. Hate him.

Coach - Andy Reid, PHI: Play calling. Jesus.

 

[dell71]

RB - Nick Goings, CAR: A white man's hope to see a caucasion running back layed with this man. Didn't really work out.

lol @ this. Goings has been a solid fb for years. The only times he slid over & carried the ball a lot was whenever the Panthers had a gazillion other backs injured.

 

[Archer]

Colts O-line, IND: 100% jealous

What you jealous of? Our o-line has been horrible this year especially in run blocking . The second half of the Pats game was the best they have been all year and that was after benching Ugoh and Pollack . (Ugoh got benched a few weeks ago but still)

They are talking about replacing it all apart from Saturday in the off-season

 

[DJ Fog]

Mark Sanchez. Terribly overrated since the start.. has one good game week 1 and is lauded as the next fucking franchise qb. He won't last too long.

Had the balls to come out and give the media a speech about last game before taking any questions. SHUT THE FUCK UP, BITCH.

 

[Bmore]

RB - Larry Johnson, CIN: Excels at spitting and hitting women and providing cancer to a locker room. Does not excel at running the ball and gaining positive yards. Worst pass blocker in the league. Also, I don't think he got the memo that he would be inactive and/or last on the depth chart judging by his facebook post yesterday:

Hate to break the news but, Benson is injured. Larry is #2 on the depth chart already. You will see him a good bit in the Chiefs game. Probably a good 10 carries or so.

 

[xCH0Nx]

Matt Ryan-QB-ATL: After a breakout rookie season, wtf has happened?

Jake Delhomme-QB-CAR: Dude, we wear the black and blue uniforms.

Brady Quinn-QB-CLE: For being in all those fitness magizines showing off your "guns" your arm strength sure does suck.

DeAngelo Williams-RB-CAR: Score a fucking TD, stop letting J Stew get them all.

Greg Jennings-WR-GB: No fucking production at all. WTF are you doing?

Terrell Owens-WR-BUF: Your shitty season couldn't have happened to a nicer guy. I hope you rot in hell.

Julius Peppers-DE-CAR: Because you are a spoiled bitch we have no cap room anywhere. You are getting close to 1 million a game and your production doesn't equal the pay.

Kris Jenkins-DT-NYJ: Fat, overweight, slow, uninterested in Carolina. Get traded to NYJ and are a pro-bowler.

Joey Porter-LB-MIA: Don't let your mouth write checks that your ass can't cash.

Shawne Merriman-LB-SD: Did you hit Tila Tequila because she made fun of your fucked up hair?

Bob Sanders-DB-IND: Are you ever healthy?

Mike Brown-DB-KC: See above.

Eric Mangini-HC-CLE: Please stop comparing yourself to Bill Belichick. He wins and you don't.

Jeff Davidson-OC-CAR: 3rd and 15? Lets run a fucking draw. FUCK YOU!

Rob Ryan-DC-CLE: With your family pedigree your D should be better. You should be ashamed.

 

[BWEISS]

QB Tony Romo - He's a pussy

RB Marion Barber/Felix Jones - They're both pussy's

TE Jason Witten - He's a pussy

WR Miles Austin - He's a pussy and not even good at all

O-Line Dallas Cowboys - They're also pussy's who suck at blocking their piece of shit quarterback

Must I go on?

 

[Rayman]

QB Tony Romo - He's a pussy

RB Marion Barber/Felix Jones - They're both pussy's

TE Jason Witten - He's a pussy

WR Miles Austin - He's a pussy and not even good at all

O-Line Dallas Cowboys - They're also pussy's who suck at blocking their piece of shit quarterback

Must I go on?

I lol'd


Brandon Jacobs and Antonio Pierce.

Oh, Jacobs will run over a DB who's shorter by about half a foot and 60 lbs lighter than him, but when a player of comparable size gets close, he goes down faster than Heather at ideepthroat. That and he runs his mouth way too much and tries to play the victim when others fire back. He's a bitch.

Pierce, is there a guy in the league who talks more and does less? Hate him for similar reasons as Jacobs.

 

[steeljake]

I lol'd


Brandon Jacobs and Antonio Pierce.

Oh, Jacobs will run over a DB who's shorter by about half a foot and 60 lbs lighter than him, but when a player of comparable size gets close, he goes down faster than Heather at ideepthroat. That and he runs his mouth way too much and tries to play the victim when others fire back. He's a bitch.

Pierce, is there a guy in the league who talks more and does less? Hate him for similar reasons as Jacobs.

joey porter?