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the grown ups review is spot on. its rare for me to think the normal sanders pack of comedians could be funny together, but with rock and james added in they actually made me laugh thru most of this.
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Macgruber
Directed by Jorma Taccone.
2010. Rated R, 90 minutes.
Cast:
Will Forte
Kristen Wiig
Val Kilmer
Ryan Phillippe
Powers Boothe
Andy Mackenzie
Maya Rudolph
Jasper Cole
Macgruber (Forte) is an ex-Navy SEAL with more awards than you can count. He’s already saved the world numerous times. For the last ten years, he’s been declared dead but has been living peacefully in another country. His old buddy Col. Faith (Boothe) comes calling for him to rescue us once more.
Since this is supposed to be a spoof of the thousands of movies with similar plots, Macgruber isn’t your typical strapping buck oozing testosterone with every step. Nor does he possess off the charts intelligence he was to outwit his foes. He’s regular enough in appearance, which is fine. However, he’s a total moron in every sense of the word that we’re supposed to believe was once a hero.
The character Macgruber is where the biggest problem with the movie Macgruber lies. The movie insists there was some greatness there to be lost. The neverending acts of buffoonery which follow, sink that notion. It doesn’t help that he still looks very young and hardly world-weary, not to mention he’s an ex-SEAL that doesn’t know how to use a gun. We never believe he was ever capable of the heroism assigned to him. Essentially, this means we’re not deconstructing a hero, we’re watching an idiot try really hard to make us laugh by doing idiotic things. The latter is never as fun as the former. Think back to the far less hyped but better Shoot ‘em Up, starring Clive Owen. The man who saves the day didn’t have to be a dunce for us to get that the whole thing is a ruse, one that actually makes us laugh.
Having an imbecile for a hero can work if the jokes are smart. The entire Naked Gun franchise is built on the dim bulb we’ve come to know and love as Frank Drebin, played by the recently late and always great Leslie Nielsen. However, the jokes themselves are exceedingly clever, for the most part. The ones that aren’t are far more forgivable and still make us laugh because of the ones that surround them. The best Macgruber can muster is our title character sticking celery up his butt, humping a tombstone and offering oral sex to men to get his way. That last one was done much funnier by a couple puppets in Team America, another better spoof.
There are a few occasions where Macgruber makes us laugh. It takes so many cracks at it, it will inevitably hit the target at least a few times. I’m reminded of the old saying about how often broken clocks are right.
MY SCORE: 4/10Comment
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The Secret in Their Eyes
El secreto de sus ojos
Directed by Juan José Campanella.
2009. Rated R, 129 minutes, Spanish.
Cast:
Ricardo Darín
Soledad Villamil
Guillermo Francella
Pablo Rago
Javier Godino
Carla Quevedo
Rudy Romano
José Luis Gioia
Esposito (Darín) is a retired cop and an aspiring novelist. He wants his first book to be based on a case he worked 25 years ago, but still haunts him. Shortly, we find out why. He caught the killer and there was even a conviction. However, the bad guy weasled his way out of jail time and no one has spoken of the case ever since. What happened?
In trying to figure things out, Esposito goes to see Irene Hastings (Villamil), his long-time friend and colleague and one of the people that worked with him on the case. It was the rape and murder of a pretty and recently married young young woman. Esposito and Hastings also seem to have a thing for one another. Through numerous flashbacks, the two reminisce about the case and their uncomfortable, unpursued relationship. She is married.
Back and forth, we effortlessly jump through time. There’s never any need to inform us where or when we are, we intuitively know. The outstanding makeup jobs feel so natural that the actors don’t have to work very hard to pull off their roles at either end of a quarter century. Though I will say, the costuming and an overall better sense of time for the portion of the film set in 1974 would be welcome. The difference between the two eras is generally boiled down to not having a cell phone back then.
Makeup jobs and costuming aside, the actors turn in fine work. Our two leads are excellent. Still, they’re outdone by Guillermo Francella who plays Esposito’s almost constantly drunk partner Sandoval. He manages to give the movie both wisdom and comic relief. When doing either he’s as brilliant as he is at the other. It’s a terrific performance.
Most of the movie plays like a mixture between a whodunit murder mystery mixed with a story of a love affair that never actually happened. Ostensibly, the reason is those are the two subjects on which Esposito seems hellbent on writing about. What elevates this from being a routine movie of either genre is first how the two topics are woven together. Second, and more importantly, it’s where our tale ends. The finale involves two people, Esposito and one other I won’t reveal. Actually, there is a third party involved but that person, though an integral part of the final scene, has no say so in the matter.
That last scene creates one of those ambiguous endings I’m such a fan of. The question here: did either person do the right thing? Another question that begs to be asked is what would you have done? In discussing those, more questions may arise. The case that has haunted Esposito for 25 years, now haunts us.
MY SCORE: 8.5/10Comment
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Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
Directed by Edgar Wright.
2010. Rated PG-13, 112 minutes.
Cast:
Michael Cera
Mary Elizabeth Winstead
Ellen Wong
Kieran Culkin
Anna Kendrick
Alison Pill
Mark Webber
Johnny Simmons
Chris Evans
Brandon Routh
Jason Schwartzman
Every now and then you watch a movie that just shouldn’t work, but absolutely does. Scott Pilgrim vs the World is one of those movies. On paper, it seems to have nothing going for it. It’s based on a graphic novel I’m apparently not cool enough to have ever heard of. The story feels ripped from the early days of fighter games, not exactly profound literature. There is going to be lots of action, but our hero, Scott Pilgrim, is played by Michael Cera, the wimpy whiny dude from Juno and a number of other teen focused flicks. Unconventional heroes are fine. After all, I loved Kick-Ass. This just seems to be too much of a stretch. A comic book movie with a video game plot? Or is that the other way around? Either way, I’m not exactly overwhelmed by anticipation as I press “play” on my remote.
An odd thing happens once the movie actually starts. It strikes a perfect tone and absolutely relishes in how ridiculous things are going to get. It knows its premise is dumb and that our hero is something less than our ideal of heroic. However, unlike Macgruber, which I recently had the displeasure of watching, in this film the script, sight gags and action scenes are actually very smart. Together, they take the last three decades of what was once strictly nerd culture, comics and video games, and morphs it into a clever, funny imagining of those two worlds colliding on the screen. It uses cartoonish, but still flesh and blood people full of the attitudes prevalent among those in their late teens and early twenties taken to absurdist extremes. There’s even some sly social commentary and an obvious moral. And all of it works.
That dumb premise? Scott Pilgram has an odd dream one night. The next day, he meets the girl from that dream, strangely enough. He falls head over heels for her that instant and hounds her until she goes out with him. Where does all the action come from? Shortly after starting to date Ramona (Winstead), the girl of his dreams, it is revealed that to continue seeing her, he will have to defeat each of her “7 evil exes”. These guys pop up out of nowhere and have all sorts of powers and fighting skills.
If you’re a fan of the original Super Mario Bros. and fighting games like Mortal Kombat, Street Fighter, Tekken, or any number of classic video games, you’re prepared to love this movie. The same goes if you’re a comic book fan as a number of scenes are made to look like panels from the hero mags. Then there’s the occasional narration that is spot-on. Finally, Cera’s usual self deprecating humor is perfect.
Here’s the thing: I get the sense this is a love it or hate it type of deal. People like me will sing its praises. Others will roll their eyes at all the madness, complain about how unrealistic it is, proclaim it moronic, and me a moron for liking it. It boils down to this: if you can’t understand the brilliance behind the “pee meter”, you’ll never get this movie.
MY SCORE: 9/10Comment
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I really want to use the Pac-Man line next time I meet a girl haha.
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Good call on Day Breakers.
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Your right about the Scott Pilgrim, when it first came out I saw a few people on facebook saying the didn't like it, seriously? I loved it.Comment
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The Crater Lake Monster
Directed by William R. Stromberg.
1977. Rated PG, 85 minutes.
Cast:
Richard Cardella
Glen Roberts
Mark Siegel
Bob Hyman
Richard Garrison
Kacey Cobb
Michael F. Hoover
Suzanne Lewis
If you’ve been paying attention, you know that I’m always up for a movie that’s so bad it’s awesome. When the filmmaking is inept and/or the story and visuals are bizarre, I’m there. These things lead to what really puts a movie into that category: unintentional humor. That type of humor keeps you laughing all the way through and shaking your head in disbelief how bad, yet good whatever you’re watching is.
Of course, the problem with chasing movies you think might be so bad they’re awesome is you run into some that are just so bad. Soooo bad. My pursuit of the fantasically cheesy or unabashedly strange but enjoyable movies is what brought me to watch The Crater Lake Monster. You have to know the premise to understand why I was hopeful. A meteor falls from the sky and lands in the local lake. Shortly thereafter, a Loch Ness style dinosaur with flippers appears and starts eating people. It’s set in a hick town, complete with bumbling rednecks. It has a do-it-all but terribly confused sheriff and it was made duing the 1970s. This had glorious crap written all over it.
Alas, it’s just crap. Instead of enjoying the badness, I sat through something that was just plain horrible. The acting is cringe-worthy in a bad way. The script is of equal quality. The special fx? Well, our monster has about four different renderings, none of which are any good. It moves about using trusty old stop-motion animation. As you can tell, there is some unintentional humor, here. There is just not enough to make up for the pain the rest of the movie caused me.
MY SCORE: 0/10Comment
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Everybody’s Fine
Directed by Kirk Jones.
2009. Rated PG-13, 99 minutes.
Cast:
Robert De Niro
Kate Beckinsale
Sam Rockwell
Drew Barrymore
Lucian Maisel
Damian Young
James Frain
Melissa Leo
Frank (De Niro) has recently become a widower. He lives alone while his four adult-children live in four different cities across the country. They are supposed to come see him this weekend for a small family reunion. However, they all cancel at the last minute. Frank then decides to go on a journey to pay each of them a surprise visit.
Of course, Frank discovers that he doesn’t know nearly as much about his kids as he thought. In addition, we’d be hard pressed to say they even give a crap about him, the way they shoo him from one destination to the next. And yes, each of his offspring phones ahead to the next one he’s going to see, so the surprise is shot pretty early.
The melodrama mounts as we, and Frank, realize his kids have been duping him for a long time about a great number of things. Sadly, there’s little mystery. We know that this is all just hurtling towards some great revelations and a happy ending. To make matters worse, we’re robbed of the big dramatic moments and the histrionics that one par for the course for such movies. True, they would’ve been cliché, but they may have added some life to the proceedings. Instead, everything is revealed, to us and Frank, through a supernatural event that fits this movie like a round peg in square hole.
Those of you prone to crying over movies will probably have a few of your tears jerked. For me, it comes off as way too hokey and undeserving of its impressive cast.
MY SCORE: 5.5/10Comment
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WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB!
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I thought Everybody's Fine had a couple of powerful scenes. The scene where it all comes together with De Niro and his kids around the dinner-picnic table was well done, but overall it felt like overkill and sad for the sake of sad. They took a topic that was easy to relate to and tossed in a big, unnecessary curveball.
I mean...you'll probably find that movie in the comedy section of a Blockbuster. That shit ain't even a "dramedy." It's 100% drama.Comment
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Kingdom of the Spiders
Directed by John Cardos.
1977. Rated PG, 97 minutes.
Cast:
William Shatner
Tiffany Bolling
Woody Strode
Altovise Davis
Lieux Dressler
David McLean
Natasha Ryan
Walter Colby, played by the ever-so-awesome Woody Strode, raises cattle. One morning he finds one of his calves laid out in the grass, in pretty bad shape.As you would expect, he calls the local vet, Dr. Robert “Rack” Hansen. Yes, they really call him Rack. Anyhoo, when the good doctor gets there, we find out it’s none other than the original Captain James T. Kirk, William Shatner. Okay, true Trekkies will tell you he’s not the original, but why let the facts get in the way of entertaining prose? So Kirk hauls the calf back to his place but can’t save it and can’t figure out what killed it. Where’s Bones when you need him? This means he has to call up the local university, University of Arizona in this case, and get an expert “down here” to help out. As luck would have it, our expert is a hot blonde who happens to be single. Cpt. Kirk putting the moves on her ensues.
Wait…what? Spiders? Oh, right. The lady from the university, Prof. Diane Ashley, gets the cockamamie idea that the calf was killed by spider venom. Besides constantly trying to show her his phaser, Kirk tells her that’s crazy talk because ain’t no itsy bitsy spider gonna bring down no calf, or something to that effect. He hits on her a few more times during which she manages to blurt out that it might not have been just one spider, but hundreds or even thousands of them.
If you think I’m exaggerating the captain’s sexual aggression I can assure you I am doing no such thing. During one scene, before she’s actually succumbed to his…charm, for lack of a better word, he uninvitedly and creepily walks up behind her and buries his nose in her hair and takes a long, intoxicating sniff. It’s a good thing for him this was during the 1970s. Nowadays, a star commander could get locked up for that sort of thing. Frankly, I’m thankful for his shenanigans. Watching him trying to give her a ride in the captain’s chair keeps the first two acts of the movie entertaining.
On the other hand, watching him turn down some lovin’ is interesting, too. He repeatedly rebuffs the advances of the wife of his deceased brother. She’s also attractive and obviously very horny, you know, since she evidently hasn’t gotten any since her hubby passed. Therefore, she throws it at him whenever she’s anywhere near him. He playfully flirts but ends up teleporting away as fast as possible. Hey, even an intergalactic pimp like James Tiberius has a line he won’t cross. Then again, you have to think if she were green he might’ve went for it. You never know.
Oh yeah, spiders. Once we get to the last act, the spiders kick it into overdrive. They pop up out of everywhere, gang tackle some folks, take down a plane and surround a cabin like the mob of zombies from Night of the Living Dead. Oh, oh, almost forgot, they wrap people in their webs after they kill them. Just wait until you see what they make Walter’s wife do to herself. And I can’t forget what Kirk does with his niece that he’s supposed to be saving. Hi-larious! Seriously, how has this not gotten a super-gory 21st century remake? It should because it’s so bad, it’s awesome!
MY SCORE: -10/10Comment
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