Article: Palooz Presents: 2013 in Film

[Youk]

An update?

:whoa:

 

[Palooza]

45. Drinking Buddies
Olivia Wilde, Anna Kendrick, Jake Johnson, Ron Livingston, Ti West, Jason Sudeikis​

Director(s): Joe Swanberg
Writer(s): Joe Swanberg
MPAA Rating: R
Release Date: August 23rd
RT Score: 83% (89 fresh, 18 rotten)
The Plot by Palooza: Two co-workers (Jake Johnson and Olivia Wilde) with an immense sexual tension, go off on a couples date in a cabin with their significant others (Anna Kendrick and Ron Livingston) to interesting results.
Comments:
Great cast with likable, if wildly immature, main characters (Jake Johnson and Olivia Wilde). The sexual tension is really well played. These two characters are so obviously flirty and into each other, it's only a matter of time before they finally hook up and that generates a pretty solid amount of strange tension throughout the movie. The tension also takes a turn when their significant others (Anna Kendrick and Ron Livingston) go off with each other at a point in the movie. The picnic scene is kind of obnoxious though in that the two characters had just met, but it's not so difficult to brush that aside and go along with the movie. Would have liked to have gotten some more from them, but alas, we lose focus of them soon after the picnic.

The two main characters act like fucking children. They flirt constantly in the most middle school of ways and while it adds to the tension, it's really frustrating, but it's a pretty good movie overall. The end of the movie is a refreshing disappointment as we find out the two aren't actually meant for each other and slide back into their old lives.

Spoiler Alert: I spoiled the end above.
Grade: B

 

[Youk]

The two main characters act like fucking children.

I can relate, sweet.

 

[Palooza]

44. Warm Bodies
Nicholas Hoult, Teresa Palmer, Rob Corddry, Dave Franco, Analeigh Tipton, Cord Hardrict, John Malkovich​

Director(s): Jonathan Levine
Writer(s): Jonathan Levine. Isaac Marion (based on his novel)
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Release Date: February 1st
RT Score: 80% (147 fresh, 36 rotten)
The Plot by Palooza: Sometime after the zombie apocalypse hits the world, a zombie named R (Nicholas Hoult) saves a girl (Teresa Palmer) and a relationship brews.
Comments:
Just as the zombie genre is getting completely stale, there is one last ditch effort to generate some sort of creativity - Warm Bodies. We get the same old zombie bullshit blah blah blah, but this time around - it's taken from the perspective of a zombie (Nicholas Hoult) and his best friend (Rob Corddry) along with the perspective of humans fighting zombies (Teresa Palmer, Dave Franco, Analeigh Tipton, John Malkovich). Most of the movie is told through voice overs from Hoult which are pretty great thanks to Jonathan Levine with yet another funny, clever and witty script; certainly adding to his eclectic resume (50/50, The Wackness). After going on a supply run (Walking Dad flashbacks for sure), the group of humans minus Malkovich run into the hoard of our main character's zombies and mayhem ensues - R kills lil Franco, Teresa Palmer's boyfriend and saves her in some way (I forget how) and from there we get a pretty nice little reluctant bonding and the two slowly fall for each other, as ridiculous as that sounds. The movie is funny and lighthearted, but it makes sure to take the zombies seriously enough to hit the right beats (and to add an element worse than zombies in an effort to create a mutual problem for the zombies and the humans). The other cool, creative twist is the cure-element, which is a bit corny, but it completely works within the frame of the movie. A really surprisingly solid movie. Teresa Palmer is a babe, btw.

Spoiler Alert: Love is the cure.
Grade: B

 

[Houston]

I loved the opening of of Warm Bodies when he was walking through the airport giving that #exposition.

Also thought the eating brains=memories part was kinda cool.

 

[Palooza]

I loved the opening of of Warm Bodies when he was walking through the airport giving that #exposition.

Also thought the eating brains=memories part was kinda cool.

Right, I have "haunted by lil franco's memories after eating his brains" in my notes and I forgot to add it :domestic:

 

[SethMode]

Who finishes first: GRRM or Palooza?

 

[Palooza]

43. Bad Milo!
Ken Marino, Gillian Jacobs, Stephen Root, Peter Stormare, Mary Kay Place, Patrick Warburton​

Director(s): Jacob Vaughan
Writer(s): Jacob Vaughan, Benjamin Hayes
MPAA Rating: R
Release Date: October 4th
RT Score: 60% (18 fresh, 12 rotten)
The Plot by Palooza: After his stress goes through the roof, a man (Ken Marino) unknowingly unleashes a monster out of his ass to deal with the people who wrong him.
Comments:
The best kind of horror comedies are absolutely absurd with a strong mix of comedy and horror, obviously, but the key factor in making a movie of this genre in this day and age is NOT relying on CGI. For example, one of the best horror comedies of the past decade is James Gunn's Slither, which mixes both CGI and animatronics almost perfectly. Here, we get complete puppetry with the, um, "monster" and it's great. The little monster is a product of stress, but it looks more like Gizmo and any of the other piece of shit Gremlins did the dirty and had a baby and was given the personality of those FIRST THEY'RE SOUR, THEN THEY'RE SWEET Sour Patch Kids commercials. Milo could just be a ruthless monster, but after all the murdering is done, he's tired and cuddly. It's hilarious and sweet and uncomfortable.

I find Gillian Jacobs to be one of the most incredible humans on earth and Ken Marino will forever have a place in my heart for his fantastic portrayal of Ron Donald in Party Down. Here, he plays more of a straight man but still winds up the butt of every joke oops accordingly, since the movie revolves around a guy who gets so stressed out a monster comes out of his ass and kill people he doesn't like. If you can't get behind that premise, there's no hope for you and this movie. It's funny, it's obnoxious, it's violent, it's ridiculous and it has Gillian Jacobs and Patrick Warburton. WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT?

Spoiler Alert: Monsters that come out of your ass are a part of you.
Grade: B

 

[Palooza]

42. Evil Dead
Jane Levy, Shiloh Fernandez, Lou Taylor Pucci, Jessica Lucas, Elizabeth Blackmon, Phoenix Connolly, Jim McLarty, Rupert Degas​

Director(s): Fede Alvarez
Writer(s): Fede Alvarez, Rodo Sayagues (remake of Sam Raimi’s film “The Evil Dead”)
MPAA Rating: R
Release Date: April 5th
RT Score: 62% (107 fresh, 66 rotten)
The Plot by Palooza: Five friends meet up in a cabin and find some crazy shit in the basement. Violent demonic mayhem ensues.
Comments:
I'm not going to discuss how this is different or better or worst or whatever than the original. This will be reviewed as a pretty badass, hyper-violent cabin-in-the-woods movie.

How I experienced this movie most certainly elevated my enjoyment of Evil Dead. I went on a random morning and sat in the middle of a small, but empty theater. I was there early, so this was not a shock. I sat and watched the dumbass commercials they force you to watch, still no one showed up. Then the turn off your cell phone stuff. Nobody. Trailers. Nobody. The opening credits began and my heart sunk. I was all alone. The terrifying feeling of getting sucked into a good horror movie is something I have experienced very few times. I dislike most of them because they generally fail to get butthole puckered up. Being alone in a dark theater amped up my experience and it was glorious. Now on to the movie...

This is the opposite end of the spectrum from another movie on this list - The Conjuring. Unlike the throwback, ominous, scare tactics of movies like The Conjuring, which are almost impossible to pull off in this era of an under-appreciation for tension in horror. This takes the demonic possession horror sub-genre by showcasing a fuck-ton of clever violence in a self-contained arc. The movie starts with a guy killing his own daughter because she is possessed. Sometime later, we find the same basement with the same creepy shit. It's extremely straightforward and easy to follow/get sucked in to. One of them reads from the book and the possessions begin. It starts off creepy, then shifts into extreme violence at almost every turn for the rest of the way. The personal stuff is weak and Shiloh Fernandez is the noticeable weak spot with the acting and Jane Levy is noticeably missing for a majority of the movie, but her menacing presence is never far behind. Trying not to spoil much (there will be lots of deets in the spoiler alert section), but she definitely earns her role as the top billed character. The ending of the movie is really a fucking beaut with the gruesome violence turned up to an 11.

Not sure how the true horror-fans will dig this movie, but as a casual one, I really liked it. There are weak spots, but they're overshadowed here by some great violence and an even better personal experience.

Spoiler Alert:

 

Lou Taylor Pucci is the asshole who reads from the book and Jane Levy is possessed initially. She's locked in the basement, but not before puking on Jessica Lucas's face. Now she's possessed and starts cutting her face off with a piece of broken glass. Pucci walks in on her and they get into an extremely violent fight, with him getting his eye stabbed by a syringe and she getting beat to death by a piece of busted up toilet. Elizabeth Blackmore is tricked into answering Levy's cries from the basement and is then bit, thrown up on and seemingly possessed. But not before cutting her arm off with an electric knife like a piece of roast beef. She attacks Pucci and Fernandez with a nail gun and they both get shot a bunch of times with it. Fernandez blows her arm off with a shotgun and the demon bails and she dies. Fernandez comes up with the plan to bury her alive to get rid of the demon. Pucci is half dead, but manages to save Fernandez when he is attacked by Levy mid-transport. Pucci gets stabbed once more, upping his "should be dead" count to 3 times. Fernandez buries Levy alive and waits for her to die, digs her up and recharges her heart with a car battery and she's alive and herself again! Fernandez goes back inside to get his keys and decides to torch the place. Gasoline everywhere, but he is attacked by a now-possessed Pucci and shoots up a gas canister to blow the place up, killing them both. After the two of them die, it rains blood and some crazy fucking demon rips out of the ground. Levy re-assumes her intended role as the badass female lead and kicks some major ass, ripping her own hand off because it is stuck under a jeep and killing the demon-thing with a chainsaw through the fucking face! She walks off and the blood rain stops.

Grade: B

 

[LiquidLarry2GhostWF]

A ton of hardcore horror fans loved Evil Dead.

 

[Palooza]

A ton of hardcore horror fans loved Evil Dead.

but not you?

 

[Buzzman]

I nearly lost it when McGuyver showed up and made a homemade defibrillator out of ducktape and car battery. He ruined the movie for myself.

 

[LiquidLarry2GhostWF]

but not you?

I had #fun with it.

 

[Palooza]

I nearly lost it when McGuyver showed up and made a homemade defibrillator out of ducktape and car battery. He ruined the movie for myself.

He was by far the worst character, but whatever to get Jane Levy back and into badass mode was alright enough with me.

 

[Palooza]

41. The Wolverine
Hugh Jackman, Tao Okamoto, Rila Fukushina, Hiroyuki Sanada, Svetlana Khodchenkova, Will Yun Lee, Brian Tee, Famke Janssen​

Director(s): James Mangold
Writer(s): Mark Bomback, Scott Frank
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Release Date: July 25th
RT Score: 69% (147 fresh, 66 rotten)
The Plot by Palooza: Wolverine in Japan
Comments:
What was a fun, stand-alone Wolverine-in-Japan movie completely falls apart in the 3rd act. I'll give it credit for being much better than it had any right to be, but after X-Men Origins: Wolverine, anything would have been better. The train scene alone is worth watching the movie, but once we get beyond fighting henchman, the movie is head scratching. The villain and it's lieutenants are fucking god-awful and embarrassing. Up until that point I was almost ready to declare this one of my personal favorite comic book movies, but :forgetit:

Spoiler Alert: n/a
Grade: B

 

[Palooza]

40. The Hunger Games - Catching Fire
Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson, Liam Hemsworth, Woody Harrelson, Elizabeth Banks, Lenny Kravitz, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Jeffrey Wright, Stanley Tucci, Donald Sutherland, Toby Jones, Willow Shields, Sam Claflin, Lynn Cohen, Jena Malone, Amanda Plummer​

Director(s): Francis Lawrence
Writer(s): Simon Beaufoy, Michael Arndt. Suzanne Collins (based on her series of books)
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Release Date: November 22nd
RT Score: 89% (219 fresh, 27 rotten)
The Plot by Palooza: The second installment in the Hunger Games franchise.
Comments:
Catching Fire has no reservations about simply being a stepping stone toward a larger, more important part in the series. It ends on a cliffhanger and because of that it feels very incomplete. I must say, though, this is much better than the first one as they’ve gotten a remotely competent director to steer clear of the Greengrass-level shakycam.

Jennifer Lawrence is in all her heroine glory, carrying the movie with ease. The first third of the movie deals with the aftermath of the first, but then a shocking twist occurs - The 75th Hunger Games will be an All-Star Game. One male mfer and one female mfer from each district who are still alive will be chosen to represent in this year’s version. From there, we get glimpses of the auto-pilot Woody Harrelson, mysteriously interesting new Gamemaker Philip Seymour Hoffman, crybaby Josh Hutcherson, robot Liam Hemsworth and ham-artists Donald Sutherland, Stanley Tucci and Elizabeth Banks. Eventually as the representatives are selected we get a look at generic pretty boy Sam Claflin, the delightfully insane Jena Malone, the nerdy Jeffrey Wright and the intolerable Amanda Plummer. Alliances are made and we’re ready to begin. Katniss witnesses some disturbing shit right before she goes into the games, which obviously affects her already fragile mind and on top of that shit we have to deal with the endlessly frustrating Katniss/Peeta love bullshit. She don’t like you brah, quit being a little bitch boy. You’re ruining the movie.

But, once the actual Games begin, the movie pops off. The action is really well done, with the game portions making almost entirely no sense, but they’re so interesting and terrifying that it doesn’t matter, it’s happening and you need to get the fuck out of there. People start getting killed and mayhem is ensuing. Alliances are reforged, there are touching moments and obnoxious pouting from Peeta and spouting from Amanda Plummer. Katniss kicks some serious ass with the help of Sam Claflin’s Finnick. Jennifer Lawrence is too likable and the Hunger Games scenes are too cool to truly dislike this movie, but a lot of the other stuff including the incompleteness of the film and awful characters seem to take away from the good parts. Needed more badass Jena Malone to go along with badass Jennifer Lawrence. Also, them lezzing out wouldn't have hurt at all.

Spoiler Alert:

 

Lenny Kravitz is dad, killed right in front of Katniss before the games begin. Katniss breaks the game and is knocked out with still at least 5 people left playing The Hunger Games (Katniss, Peeta, Jeffrey Wright, Jena Malone and Sam Claflin iirc), shit pops off, explosions and she wakes up in an aircraft then sees Claflin, Woody and PSH strategizing on a ship. The revolution begins, but Peeta and Jena Malone didn’t make it.... DUN DUN DUN....

Grade: B

 

[Palooza]

39. Star Trek Into Darkness
Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Benedict Cumberbatch, Karl Urban, Simon Pegg, John Cho, Zoe Saldana, Anton Yelchin, Bruce Greenwood, Alice Eve, Peter Weller, Leonard Nimoy​

Director(s): J.J. Abrams
Writer(s): Robert Orci, Alex Kurtzman, Damon Lindelof
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Release Date: May 16th
RT Score: 87% (215 fresh, 32 rotten)
The Plot by Palooza: Your favorite Enterprise crew is back and this time they must take on the brilliant and calculated John Harrison (Benedict Cumberbatch).
Comments:
Way too much god damn Spock. He’s a boring robot and compared to the charismatic and beautiful (wat) James T. Kirk, it’s even worse. The plot also suffers from the obnoxiously calculated and brilliant villain, who can see things 20 steps ahead, with every little detail going according to his master plan. The complication of the events of the plot all come to head somewhere halfway through the movie and this is where we shift from Kirk as the definitive lead, to him sharing screen time with both Spock and Harrison. Soon enough, Spock becomes the focal point and this is where I seem to lose interest almost completely. There is a touching moment before Spock takes over that is rendered moot because you know the stakes and you know what can and cannot happen. Robocop shows up as an Admiral who seems a little too willing to let Kirk be reckless. You probably already know how that winds up. The destructively cool last 20 minutes or so of the movie is undermined by it being lead by Spock, rather than the always entertaining Kirk.

I happen to love the first Star Trek, but if not for Cumberbatch pulling off the villain by making him seem less cliche and some pretty cool action scenes and set pieces, this would be a forgettable sequel. Zachary Quinto is a great Spock, but the character by definition is boring as shit. Too much left in his hands and not enough Scotty/Kirk. Also, Zoe Saldana and Alice Eve are foxes.

I think this movie will be better appreciated sometime in the future, shortly after the sure-to-be-terrible third movie comes out. With JJ Abrams off to Star Wars, the reigns have been handed over to Robert Orci, first-time director and below-average writer. It’s been fun, guys.

Spoiler Alert:

 

Harrison is Khan. A Wrath of Khan role reversal sees Kirk “die” saving the ship and Spock going after Khan, yelling the famous “KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN” line. Also, Khan crushes Robocop’s skull with his bare hands which was pretty awesome. Kirk lives thanks to Khan blood.

Grade: B

 

[Palooza]

38. 2 Guns
Denzel Washington, Mark Wahlberg, Paula Patton, Bill Paxton, James Marsden, Fred Ward, Edward James Olmos, Robert John Burke​

Director(s): Baltasar Kormakur
Writer(s): Blake Masters
MPAA Rating: R
Release Date: August 2nd
RT Score: 64% (110 fresh, 63 rotten)
The Plot by Palooza: Two buddy criminals (Denzel Washington and Mark Wahlberg) are actually a DEA agent and a Navy SEAL Intelligence Officer, respectively, undercover. When they are both double crossed they are each other's last chance at uncovering some answers.
Comments:
This movie is completely ridiculous and implausible, but it's so much fucking fun. We got two Brett Favre's out here in Mark Wahlberg and Denzel Washington, just having lots and lots of fun with this. I'm a sucker for buddy action movies and this one completely delivers. The plot is convoluted and obnoxious, absolutely, but it was one hell of a ride. Not only does it have two leads with great chemistry, it fills out the rest of the cast quite perfectly. Paula Patton is Denzel's slam piece and god damn is she beautiful, shady characters all around looking to fuck the two leads including the little weasel James Marsden, and ruthlessly dickheaded and never miscast, Bill Paxton. This is like a badass, cheesy 90's buddy on-the-run action movie dropped down from the heavens to appeal to today's audiences. It's great. If you can't find enjoyment out of this movie then :marty:

Spoiler Alert: It's not about who lives or dies in these movies, it's about how we get there. And it's quite glorious. Also, everyone but them is bad, essentially.
Grade: B

 

[Palooza]

37. Ain’t Them Bodies Saints
Casey Affleck, Rooney Mara, Ben Foster, Rami Malek, Keith Carradine, Charles Baker, Nate Parker​

Director(s): David Lowery
Writer(s): David Lowery
MPAA Rating: R
Release Date: August 16th
RT Score: 79% (89 fresh, 23 rotten)
The Plot by Palooza: After getting caught in a shootout, a woman (Rooney Mara) shoots a cop (Ben Foster) and her husband (Casey Affleck) gladly goes to jail for her. She attempts a normal life with her daughter and seeks secret forgiveness from the cop, but once her perpetually imprisoned husband escapes from jail, all chances for a normal life are off.
Comments:
One of the most beautifully shot movies of the year, Ain't Them Bodies Saints gets a little too caught up in its amazing cinematography, using it to cover up the shaky, boring plot. The acting is superb all around - Casey Affleck sometimes gets caught up struggling to balance himself out between overacting and subtlety, but here he nails it. Rooney Mara is the single greatest actress on the planet so I don't really need to fawn over her for too long, do I? She is beautiful and believable, you connect with her immediately. Ben Foster finally gets to show off his chops in a competent movie. And that's all I've got to say about that.

Spoiler Alert: n/a
Grade: B

 

[Buzzman]

O goodie. A massive update by palooza's standards

I'm surprised you were as generous about these ones tho.

I thought Star Trek Into Darkness was such a meh blockbuster. I was way too hyped for it but the marketing didn't do it any favors. It hyped this amazing mystery behind John Harrison and had him be exactly who everyone thought he was. I just didn't see much passion in the film. Anything that happened was expected, even the films "twists". How can you feel bad for Kirk when you know they'd never have the balls to actually kill him?

Aint Them Bodies Saints I agree with except I don't think the cinematography and acting was worth ever recommending the movie to anyone.

If you think Catching Fire felt like just filler till the whole shibang, Part 1 of Mockingjay is going to be atrocious POS.

Finally I thought the Wolverine was bad from the start and the third act is easily the worst 25 minutes of a superhero film I've ever seen.