Dell's Good, Bad & Ugly Movie Reviews

[dell71]

The Hills Run Red
2009. Rated R, 81 minutes.
Director: Dave Parker.
Starring Tad Hilgenbrink, Sophie Monk, William Sadler, Janet Montgomery.

Plot: Avid horror movie buff Tyler (Hilgenbrink) convinces his girlfriend and best friend to go on a journey deep into the woods to find a long lost slasher flick from the 1980s.

The Good: It knows what it is and what its purpose is so it keeps the pedal to the metal right from the start. What that means is even during the early parts we would expect to be slow the director is doing everything he can to hold your attention. Every minute or two we get random shots, supposedly from the missing movie, of someone getting an axe to the head, or their body torn in half or otherwise mutilated. And of course, there's a fair amount of female bare-chestedness. Gratuitous isn't a strong enough word for what's going on here. Narratively, its actually pretty solid as meat grinders go, setting us up nicely for the twist at about the 2/3 mark.

The Bad: With that twist comes huge, gaping plotholes that are never closed. Worse than this is like most hack 'em ups, it never engages us on any intrinsic level so actually scaring its audience is out of the question. It just repeatedly tries to jolt and/or repulse you. The problem than becomes there's so much of it early on, we've already become numb to it by the time the movie wants to shift us into overdrive. Another issue is our hero, Tyler. The movie wants you to empathize with him but its hard to because he's both a moron and a jerk. About five minutes in, I started wishing hard for his not-so-swift and extremely bloody death.

The Ugly: How our homicidal maniac, Babyface (Danko Jordanov), gets his name is ugly. How he came to be born is far uglier. Ewww.

Recommendation: This is absolutely, positively strictly for slasher/gore fans. If you're the type of person who just has to see every Saw movie and got excited when you found out the remake to My Bloody Valentine was not only going to be indeed bloody, but in 3-D, this is for you. If you're not, don't even think about it.

The Opposite View: You know the drill. Slasher flicks get a pass, here.

What the Internet Says: 5.6/10 on imdb.com, 50% on rottentomatoes.com, NA on metacritic.com[/url]

MY SCORE: 4/10
SLASHER MOVIE SCORE: 7/10

 

[nflman2033]

first off dell about Enemy of the State, it is underrated, but what is awesome is the Gene Hackman character is almost straight from the classic Francis Ford Coppola movie The Conversation, anyone who hasn't seen it, it is a must.

as far as my sig goes, it Free Enterprise, one of my all time favorites, if you like Star Trek and sci fi movies, then it is a must watch, but be prepared for lots of star trek jokes, its sort of like a Swingers for Sci Fi fans

 

[Maynard]

first off dell about Enemy of the State, it is underrated, but what is awesome is the Gene Hackman character is almost straight from the classic Francis Ford Coppola movie The Conversation, anyone who hasn't seen it, it is a must.

good post.....i totally agree that its a must for anyone who hasnt seen it. I love hackman in the movie.

 

[dell71]

Powder Blue
2009. Rated R, 106 minutes.
Director: Timothy Linh Bui.
Starring Jessica Biel, Forest Whitaker, Ray Liotta, Eddie Redmayne.

Plot: A stripper (Biel), a mortician (Redmayne), a widower (Whitaker) and an ex-con (Liotta) all lead depressing lives full of varying degrees of tragedy that intersect with each other.

The Good: This is an actor's movie. I'm sure it's impressive cast was drawn to it because the roles offer them the chance to showcase their craft and possibly generate some Oscar-buzz. This makes it precisely the type of movie Biel would feel comfortable enough to do nude scenes for - the type of dark, brooding affair the Academy seems to love. For that same reason, it can get such established but not currently "hot" commodities as Kris Kristofferson, Sanaa Lathan, Lisa Kudrow and the late Patrick Swayze to take roles much smaller than they're accustomed to. Therefore, its no surprise there are excellent performances all over the screen.

The Bad: It falls into the indie-film trap of everyone and everything about them being utterly sad while living in a world filled with despair. On top of that, none of our four heroes are particularly likeable. The stripper is a horrible mom, her son is in a coma yet she only seems to visit him when she gets a bout of guilt. The widower is trying to pay people to kill him so that he doesn't commit the sin of suicide. The ex-con keeps visiting his daughter at her job...minor spoiler, but not really because we figure it out in the first fifteen minutes...she's the stripper (that's just too creepy). The mortician's actually not that bad a guy but a little old to still be totally freaking out around women. Not being confident and having trouble with it is one thing but this guy wouldn't be able to satisfy himself if he had to talk to his hand first. All four of them have the decision making skills of mentally ill mule (again, the mortician is a bit of an upgrade over the rest). Finally, the whole thing is a pointless stock-piling of unfortunate events that don't seem to change anyone nor how we feel about them though the movie obviously wants to do both. When it starts, we think 'these are messed up people in messed up situations.' When it ends we think 'these are messed up people in slightly less messed up situations.'

The Ugly: Failed cleverness. To drive home the point the mortician is a lonely nerd, his name is Qwerty (ya' know, like the keyboard) Doolittle. Har har.

Recommendation: If you're into "gritty" indie films and think I just might not get it, this might be right up your alley. If you're just a horndog for Biel, have at it. For me, it starts with great potential, gets great performances and wastes it all. It blatantly wants to be another Crash but just crashes, instead.

The Opposite View: Kam Williams, Sly Fox

What the Internet Says: 6.5/10 on imdb.com (12/16/09), 25% on rottentomatoes.com, NA on metacritic.com

MY SCORE: 4.5/10

 

[dell71]

Dell's Classics Presents:

Paths of Glory
1957. Not Rated, 87 minutes.
Director: Stanley Kubrick.
Starring Kirk Douglas, George Macready, Adolphe Menjou, Ralph Meeker.
During World War I, a unit in the French army fails to take over a German stronghold know as the Ant Hill. Infuriated, Gen. Moreau (Macready) decides to try several of them for cowardice, punishable by death. Their commanding officer, Col. Dax (Douglas), serves as their counsel. Douglas gives an amazing performance as a man fighting an uphill battle. The cast as a whole is outstanding. Two other standouts are Ralph Meeker as Cpl. Paris and George Macready as our villanous general. By the way, Macready is sporting one of the meanest scars in cinematic history. PoG is a bit unique because its both a great war movie and a great courtroom drama. The one war scene we get is surprisingly well done given the era in which it was made and the trial that follows is excellent. Best of all, this movie doesn't take the easy way out. It invites us to think about what we've just seen and that's always a plus in my book.
MY SCORE: 10/10

 

[dell71]

Terminator Salvation
2009. Rated PG-13, 115 minutes.
Director: McG.
Starring Christian Bale, Sam Worthington, Moon Bloodgod, Anton Yelchin.

Plot: In the year 2018, during man's ongoing war against machines, John Connor (Bale) tries to lead the resistance to victory and ensure that his father, Kyle Reese (Yelchin), survives long enough to go back in time and conceive him.

The Good: Post-apocalyptic Los Angeles certainly has the Mad Max feel to it and the machines are nasty concoctions outfitted with all sorts of weaponry. The transport, made up of several large robots attached to a giant one, is particularly nice. As a result, we get some nice action sequences and great visuals. Sam Worthington, as Marcus, does a nice job with the role and gives the movie a little much needed depth. Finally, our look at the original Terminator is scary realistic. Its so much so, you might think the special fx team went back in time themselves and came back with Arnold Schwarzenegger from his body-building days.

The Bad: Chronology is of supreme importance to the franchise and this one screws the pooch in that department. It wouldn't be so bad if a certain someone were from the future and not the past. The reason being our Terminator is obviously a technological leap forward from anything in the previous three movies (but don't go looking for any body parts changing into sharp objects this time). Still, here it is at the same time as original Terminator prototype leaving us to deduct that it was created first. More troublesome is because the movie is det in the future, we as an audiecnce don't experience the same paranoia of our own pending demise at the hands of things we've created that fueled its predecessors. We're too detached. Combine that with all the different robots zipping around and it feels more like a Transformers movie. Not to mention, fans of Christian Bale might be disappointed simply because they get a movie which he's merely in, not a movie he stars in and its not nearly the movie in which he was last relegated to such a role, The Dark Knight.

The Ugly: As good as the Arnie-bot looked, I couldn't help but snicker about the convenient yet totally unrealistic shadow that covered his privates for no apparent reason, other than preserving the movie's PG-13 rating.

Recommendation: Chances are, you already know if you want to see this. If you don't already have a working knowledge of The Terminator universe, i.e. have seen the first three movies, this isn't the place to jump in. If you do, see it and form your own opinion. In mine, its pretty easily the worst of the four, but it is entertaining if you're just looking for action.

The Opposite View: Philip French, Observer (UK)

What the Internet Says: 6.9/10 on imdb.com, 32% on rottentomatoes.com, 52/100 on metacritic.com

MY SCORE: 5.5/10

 

[Fox1994]

I agree with Star Trek. Didn't watch Miss March, not planning to it - male teen-ness be damned. No one in my school has fucking mentioned it, so stop blaming these stupid movies on us being juvenile... Goodness, I watch more horror movies because of bitches than I do terrible comedies because there are bitchess in them... [/rant?]

Anywho, my little sister sorta made me watch G-Force last night. That was the worst piece of shit I've ever seen. You should watch it just to give it your first (second? third?) 0. Anywho, watching G.I. Joe for the second time (first all the way through)... I don't know if you've seen it... I'd give it a 6/7 out of ten, except for the flashbacks. The story isn't great, but they really interrupt it.

Flashbacks counted, I give it a 4 or 5. Don't feel right doing any better than that...

Very few summer action/comedies are any good. I think Iron Man, was, but it had Robert Downey as a lead... If you can't do decent with him, you don't deserve ANYTHING!!!...

Anywho, in this GIJ movie, Marlon is a tad vaudevile-esque, but not anywhere near close to being as terrible as the two niqqas in Transformers. That shit was fucking terrible, but people hardly remember, because it was a damned Summer comedy...

Keep it up.

 

[Buzzman]

the flashbacks in GI Joe were the best part, specifically of Snake Eyes and that chinese ninja.

 

[Fox1994]

^You're not serious.

Japanese, not Chinese.

They fucked with the source material way too much, anyway...

 

[Buzzman]

what is the chinese charcters name anyway?

 

[dell71]

I agree with Star Trek. Didn't watch Miss March, not planning to it - male teen-ness be damned. No one in my school has fucking mentioned it, so stop blaming these stupid movies on us being juvenile... Goodness, I watch more horror movies because of bitches than I do terrible comedies because there are bitchess in them... [/rant?]

Not blaming it on you, but on the studios that greenlight them because they think you'll flock to anything with boobs and partying. That said, I can see it being popular with teenage guys cuz honestly that's the sort of movie I might've enjoyed back when I was 13. I don't know exactly how old you are but I stand by my disclaimer, if the sight of breasts onscreen don't make you giggle, point & blush you're too mature for Miss March. Sounds like you are, so don't sweat it.

Anywho, my little sister sorta made me watch G-Force last night. That was the worst piece of shit I've ever seen. You should watch it just to give it your first (second? third?) 0.

It's at my house right now, waiting for me to watch it with my kids.

Anywho, watching G.I. Joe for the second time (first all the way through)... I don't know if you've seen it... I'd give it a 6/7 out of ten, except for the flashbacks. The story isn't great, but they really interrupt it.

Flashbacks counted, I give it a 4 or 5. Don't feel right doing any better than that...

Very few summer action/comedies are any good. I think Iron Man, was, but it had Robert Downey as a lead... If you can't do decent with him, you don't deserve ANYTHING!!!...

Anywho, in this GIJ movie, Marlon is a tad vaudevile-esque, but not anywhere near close to being as terrible as the two niqqas in Transformers. That shit was fucking terrible, but people hardly remember, because it was a damned Summer comedy...

Keep it up.

I reviewed it a few pages back: http://www.virtualsportsnetwork.com/forum/showpost.php?p=736255&postcount=469

(Again, all reviews will be archived by Jan. 2)

Honestly, whether they screwed with the source material or not, I agree with Buzzman and find the flashbacks involving Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow the best part of the movie.

Yeah, Marlon was buffoonish but I agree, not anywhere near as bad as the minstrel-bots from Revenge of the Fallen.

 

[dell71]

Way of the Gun
2000. Rated R, 119 minutes.
Director: Christopher McQuarrie.
Starring Ryan Phillipe, Benicio del Toro, Juliette Lewis, Taye Diggs.
Two small-time crooks stumble upon the news of a woman being paid $1 million cash to be a surrogate mom and set out to abduct her in hopes of collecting some ransom money for themselves. Schemes, revelations and gunfights ensue. Lots of gunfights. Though it obviously owes much to the films of Quentin Tarantino and Guy Ritchie's Lock, Stock and Smoking Barrels its pretty outstanding in it's own right. It skips on most of the zaniness of those influences but still manages a subtle and very dark humor amidst the hail of bullets. As usual, del Toro is great but its the old vet James Caan that stands out. His work here is nothing short of amazing and slyly menacing. Juliette Lewis, as our pregnant lady, is nearly as good. Oh, can't forget the Sarah Silverman cameo at the beginning, which is just awesome. Still, its called Way of the Gun for a reason. Those shootouts are a thing of flesh-piercing beauty. And its definitely not one of those movies where the good guys hit something nearly everytime they squeeze the trigger. Then again, there really aren't any good guys. And the movie is better for it.
MY SCORE: 8/10

 

[dell71]

Fighting
2009. Rated PG-13, 105 minutes.
Director: Dito Mantiel.
Starring Channing Tatum, Terrence Howard, Zulay Henao, Luis Guzman.

Plot: Down-on-his-luck Shawn (Tatum), who sells bootleg and counterfeit merchandise, meets Harvey (Howard) who gets him into street fighting for money and pretty much acts as his agent.

The Good: The fight scenes, basically the reason this movie is made, are solid. They don't seem nearly as choreographed as most movie fights and that adds much-welcomed realism to the proceedings. They also come close enough together to keep things entertaining. Terrence Howard turns in a fun performance in which he gets to ramble on in a pitch a little higher than his normal speaking voice. Also, Luis Guzman continues to be an outstanding character actor.

The Bad: Without anyone admitting it, its really a remake of the Charles Bronson classic Hard Times, a personal fave of mine. To pull that off we needed bigger personalities. Howard's work was good, but the work of James Coburn from the original in essentially the same role is brilliant. Having better material to work with doesn't hurt. Sadly, there's a much bigger gap in the performances of Tatum and Bronson as the fighter, in both portrayal and the way they're written. Bronson oozes both the mystery and ruggedness befitting the role while Tatum does not. What Channing has is good looks and a strong urban vibe. This leads us to the other problem with him in the role. They're trying to pass him off as a small-town Alabama kid trying to make his way in the big city. Not only does Tatum fail to convey this, he doesn't even try and seems to have never spent even one minute outside the shadow of skyscrapers. Analytical points aside, the movie is wholly predictable with laughable villains so, at times, it can get boring.

The Ugly: That's a man, baby!

Recommendation: Its one of those movies that doesn't do anything terribly wrong but nothing terribly right, either. Its efficiently made, but not very good nor very bad, just kind of there. Action junkies may enjoy it but even for them there's really nothing particularly memorable.

The Opposite View: Scott Tobias, The Onion (AV Club)

What the Internet Says: 5.2/10 on imdb.com (12/21/09), 41% on rottentomatoes.com, 61/100 on metacritic.com

MY SCORE: 5/10

 

[trojan49er]

loved Way of the Gun. Some of the best shootout scenes I've seen...probably because they were all done by a former Navy SEAL

 

[dell71]

The Hangover
2009. Rated R, 100 minutes.
Director: Todd Phillips.
Starring Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Zach Galifianakis, Justin Bartha.

Plot: Doug's (Bartha) buddies take him to Las Vegas for his proverbial last night of freedom before getting married. AFter a wild night of which no one can remember a thing, Doug has turned up missing and the boys scour the capital of sin trying to find him.

The Good: Yes, our heroes are stupid. However, they're stupid in a way that's not at all unlike many of us when we've over-indulged the night before and try to piece together how shamefully we behaved. Years later, we can laugh at ourselves or if it happened to someone else we can laugh at them, immediately. Well, here its happened to someone else. Two other elements heighten both our amusement and the stakes. First, no one in group remembers anything at all from what was obviously a "good" night (the boys awake to find a live chicken, a baby and a full grown tiger in their hotel suite). Second, the groom-to-be is nowhere to be found. This easily sets up our heroes to go numerous places, trying to retrace their steps. The movie exploits this well and keeps us laughing. On top of that, just when we may be getting a little bored with the boys, we're introduced to a character that gets us cracking up all over again. Heather Graham (playing stripper Jade), Ken Jeong (Mr. Chow) and surprisingly enough, Mike Tyson (himself) all handle their roles perfectly.

The Bad: I was kinda hoping for flashbacks as the boys uncovered each piece of the prior night's mystery. These may have lengthened the movie quite a bit but may have also added to the hijinks and shenanigans, making it even funnier. We get it once in the form of security footage but I'm greedy and wanted more. I'm also on the fence about the ladies left at home. Should they have had some sort of bachelorette bash and gotten into their own bit of trouble? I'm not sure if I think that would've helped or finally pushed it too far over the top.

The Ugly: What happens to Stu's tooth. Ouch!

Recommendation: This is definitely "a guy thing." I found it thoroughly entertaining, and laughed all the way through. My wife, on the other hand, was only mildly amused. More than that I got the feeling most women would react this way. That said, though it is raunchy, its not so raunchy it will totally disgust them, usually. So guys, if you're just going to watch alone or with the fellas, have at it. If its your turn to pick the flick for movie night with your gal, proceed with caution. Think back to how she felt about The 40 Year Old Virgin or maybe Superbad or I Love You, Man and decide accordingly.

The Opposite View: John J. Puccio, DVDTown.com

What the Internet Says: 8.0/10 on imdb.com (12/21/09), 78% on rottentomatoes.com, 73/100 on metacritic.com

MY SCORE: 9/10

 

[Fox1994]

Way of the Gun
2000. Rated R, 119 minutes.
Director: Christopher McQuarrie.
Starring Ryan Phillipe, Benicio del Toro, Juliette Lewis, Taye Diggs.
Two small-time crooks stumble upon the news of a woman being paid $1 million cash to be a surrogate mom and set out to abduct her in hopes of collecting some ransom money for themselves. Schemes, revelations and gunfights ensue. Lots of gunfights. Though it obviously owes much to the films of Quentin Tarantino and Guy Ritchie's Lock, Stock and Smoking Barrels its pretty outstanding in it's own right. It skips on most of the zaniness of those influences but still manages a subtle and very dark humor amidst the hail of bullets. As usual, del Toro is great but its the old vet James Caan that stands out. His work here is nothing short of amazing and slyly menacing. Juliette Lewis, as our pregnant lady, is nearly as good. Oh, can't forget the Sarah Silverman cameo at the beginning, which is just awesome. Still, its called Way of the Gun for a reason. Those shootouts are a thing of flesh-piercing beauty. And its definitely not one of those movies where the good guys hit something nearly everytime they squeeze the trigger. Then again, there really aren't any good guys. And the movie is better for it.
MY SCORE: 8/10

Did I tell you? With this review, you just qualified for your 72 virgins in the afterlife.

I saw this movie this summer. Great cast, dark humor writing. I loved it... how everything was interwoven. No plot-holes.

Sarah Silverman's cameo was really, really awesome.

"He'll fuck you in the ass and make you watch. He's not even gay, but he'll do it."

"Hey, hey, I got this. Look, she's got a big mouth but she's right. I'll fuck you silly and beat you stupid."

Priceless.

 

[James2Stapleton]

Dell what do you think of Zombieland and Rec. (Rec) is the movie that Quarantine was based on

 

[Buzzman]

go back a few posts, Dell reviews Zombieland and on the 1xst page he reviewed Quarentinte and meantions REC in it.

 

[dave]

I'm waiting for your Avatar review, Dell.

 

[dell71]

go back a few posts, Dell reviews Zombieland and on the 1xst page he reviewed Quarentinte and meantions REC in it.

This. Though I haven't actually seen REC, itself. I will soon, though.

I'm waiting for your Avatar review, Dell.

I'm waiting to see it. I'm trying to get it in before New Years. Wish me luck.

Fox, I'll definitley be looking for my 72 virgins when I die.