Dell's Good, Bad & Ugly Movie Reviews

[dell71]

Swamp Thing
1982. Rated PG, 91 minutes.
Director: Wes Craven.
Starring Adrienne Barbeau, Louis Jourdan, Dick Durock, Adrienne Barbeau's Breasts.
Dr. Alec Holland (Ray Wise) and his sister Linda (Nannette Brown) have developed one formula that may end world hunger, somehow, and another formula that can combine plant and animal tissue. When the bad guys try to get their hands on the former, the good doc accidentally ingests some of the latter and transforms into a man/plant on a mission to get both formulas back and is in love with government agent Alice Cable (Barbeau). Based on the DC comic. Action scenes consist largely of our hero grabbing random bad guys and flinging them a few feet or boats trying to run over him but careening 10 feet in the air when they make contact. Dialogue switches from crudely sexual early on to extra-hokey the rest of the way. Plotholes are prevalent, especially concerning what our hero can and cannot do. And if you are wondering why I gave Adrienne Barbeau's Breasts separate billing (and capitalization) its because they are absolutely the stars of the show. Adorned in an array of tank tops and low-cut numbers they bounce, frolic and jiggle incessantly whenever she moves any part of her body. When she's not moving they magnificiently gleam in the light. Just so you know I'm not exaggerating, they get close-ups throughout the movie and even have their own controversy. There is a scene of Barbeau bathing in the lake which initially included a lenghty point-blank range shot of them fully exposed just above the water (as well as some other toplessness). This was removed from the American version to gain the PG rating needed to maximize box-office potential (this is in the days either just before or just after PG-13 was created so it was either PG or R for most flicks). Still, a shorter side shot from further away remained. Fast forward 20 or so years, the scene was fully restored for a special edition DVD that MGM "mistakenly" left labeled as rated PG. A few complaints from unsuspecting and upset parents later and that version was yanked from shelves, went out of print and is a bit difficult to find. No matter which version you see, you'll get a terrible super-hero flick that's both intentionally and unintentionally funny with bad rubber costumes making it a quick, fun and campy hour and a half. It's also proof that famed director Wes Craven should stick to horror. Yeah, its so bad, its awesome!
MY SCORE: -10/10

 

[Maynard]

swamp thing lmao......u poor guy

have you seen the big chill? i am curious what you think

 

[NAHSTE]

LOL, Swamp Thing. I remember the TV show to this in my early childhood. Never knew it was actually a full length film though.

 

[dell71]

swamp thing lmao......u poor guy

have you seen the big chill? i am curious what you think

Since I gave Swamp Thing the "SBIA" seal of approval, I actually enjoyed it. I saw it as a kid when it first came out & watched it again to see if it was as bad as I remembered. Yup, I was right...but that's a good thing.

BTW, I believe the "fully restored" version can be found online. Not that anyone cares.

Similarly, I saw The Big Chill years ago and don't remember much about it. Maybe, I'll check it out again.

 

[JayDizzle]

Having seen some of your retrospectives Dell, I gotta recommend the new Sherlock Holmes movie with any of the old black and white teleplays.

Just caught the new flick but if I divulged more, it might sway your opinion...

 

[Buzzman]

what exactly are you saying about the enw Holmes Jay?

 

[dell71]

Having seen some of your retrospectives Dell, I gotta recommend the new Sherlock Holmes movie with any of the old black and white teleplays.

Just caught the new flick but if I divulged more, it might sway your opinion...

I plan on seeing it, just not in a rush.

 

[Tailback U]

Recommendation: This is definitely "a guy thing." I found it thoroughly entertaining, and laughed all the way through. My wife, on the other hand, was only mildly amused. More than that I got the feeling most women would react this way. That said, though it is raunchy, its not so raunchy it will totally disgust them, usually. So guys, if you're just going to watch alone or with the fellas, have at it. If its your turn to pick the flick for movie night with your gal, proceed with caution. Think back to how she felt about The 40 Year Old Virgin or maybe Superbad or I Love You, Man and decide accordingly.

I figured as much but I've been surprised at how many teenage girls and adult women love this movie.

Everyone from the 15 year old field hockey player that I train at the gym to my girlfriend's mother seemed to enjoy The Hangover. In fact, I almost feel like women think it's better than men do. Partially because the film's humor is so straight-forward and blunt. Don't get me wrong, I thought it was hilarious, but I wouldn't say it's the funniest movie of all time or even creatively humorous, but that's also why I think I've heard so many females dub The Hangover as their "omg favorite movie ever!!"

 

[dell71]

Dell's Classics Presents: A Film Noir Double Feature

Double Indemnity
1944. Not Rated, 108 minutes.
Director: Billy Wilder.
Starring Fred MacMurray, Barbara Stanwyck, Edward G. Robinson, Jean Heather.
An insurance agent (MacMurray) falls in love with the wife of a client (Stanwyck). The two then hatch a plan to kill her husband so they can collect the insurance money and be together. This is Film Noir 101. All of the elements of the genre: the narration, dame that gets ultra-cool guy in hot water, murder and slick slang are not only present but have seldom, if ever, been done better. The dialogue is insanely sharp, filled with sexual innuendo, humor and thoughtfulness at appropriate times. The story keeps you on your toes, introducing elements that subtly change your idea of what you think will happen up until right before the climax. At that point, our hero tells you what's going to happen, or at least what he plans on, and instead of it being a let down it intrigues us even more because we've seen how his plans have worked out so far. MacMurray and Stanwyck are both marvelous in the lead roles and have great chemistry with one another. Robinson, not getting top billing for the first time in a career which was starting to wane by this point, conveys a fierce determination the couple in question must fear. He does so with one of more subdued, but no less excellent performances. Any fans of film noir, or film buffs in general, must see this movie. This is the movie most recent efforts of the genre take their cues from, even something so over the top as Sin City or as experimental as the underappreciated Brick.
MY SCORE: 10/10

Body Heat
1981. Rated R, 113 minutes.
Director: Lawrence Kasdan.
Starring William Hurt, Kathleen Turner, Ted Danson, Richard Crenna.
Lawyer/womanizer Ned (Hurt) falls head-over-heels for very rich but lonely housewife Matty (Turner). The two then hatch a plan to kill her husband so they can collect the inheritance and be together. This 1980s take on the film noir genre scorches the screen. All the tenets are there: sharp dialogue, a single guy getting in too deep with a beautiful dame who happens to be married, and an elaborate murder scheme that doesn't quite work the way its planned. Our leading man is perfectly cool, most of the time, while our leading lady oozes sex. For you younger guys who only know of Kathleen Turner from recent years, this may be hard to believe. Even I never really thought she was overly pretty but there was definitely something sexy about her. Speaking of sex, it has, or more accurately, implies lots of it and gives us plenty of our two stars sans wardrobe. Doing this strikes the delicate balance needed to stay sexy but not trashy. Though we often see their passion just starting to burst or them in its aftermath, it maintains the mystery necessary to separate it from the soft-core porn which started to flood late-night pay-cable in the 80s. Ironically, a number of those wanted to be BH (or Fatal Attraction or Basic Instinct after those came out) but fell far short with little or less of BH's storytelling acumen and much more cheese and sleaze. On the other hand, BH is exactly what it tries to be: a modern, more overtly sexy update of the film noir.
MY SCORE: 10/10

Fun Trivia on Body Heat: The two stars apparently bought in to the movie they were making right from the start. So in order to get the crew that would be filming all those torrid scenes comfortable with what would be taking place, they lined up the entire crew and introduced themselves. What's the big deal about that, you ask? Both were naked while doing so.

 

[dell71]

I figured as much but I've been surprised at how many teenage girls and adult women love this movie.

Everyone from the 15 year old field hockey player that I train at the gym to my girlfriend's mother seemed to enjoy The Hangover. In fact, I almost feel like women think it's better than men do. Partially because the film's humor is so straight-forward and blunt. Don't get me wrong, I thought it was hilarious, but I wouldn't say it's the funniest movie of all time or even creatively humorous, but that's also why I think I've heard so many females dub The Hangover as their "omg favorite movie ever!!"

I actually got to watch it again. This time, not only with my wife but with my sister-in-law and her two teenage daughters and they all enjoyed it very much. Maybe I was wrong.

 

[JayDizzle]

what exactly are you saying about the enw Holmes Jay?

I was afraid I would plant a good/bad impression of the film before Dell could see it, lending to unecessary bias.

"...Holmes" is great IMO opinion but it's Dell's thread, not mine.

 

[Buzzman]

Im pretty sure Dells doesnt runa dictatorship. I share my thoguhts with him no a movie all the time and then he responds with his own opinion on the movie or says he'll watch it later and tell ya what he thinks. DELLS COOL IN MY BOOK.

 

[dave]

Im pretty sure Dells doesnt runa dictatorship. I share my thoguhts with him no a movie all the time and then he responds with his own opinion on the movie or says he'll watch it later and tell ya what he thinks. DELLS COOL IN MY BOOK.

Someone ripped Dell???
I must have missed the post.

Dell is solid. Frankly, his lists are one of the greatest contributions to this site.

It's ok to disagree with Dell's reviews, but ripping the man himself is wrong on so many levels.

That man gives us lists, women with plump asses. What more does he have to do?

 

[trojan49er]

nobody ripped dell, they were just being cautious of crossing him and intruding on his territory

 

[dell71]

I was afraid I would plant a good/bad impression of the film before Dell could see it, lending to unecessary bias.

"...Holmes" is great IMO opinion but it's Dell's thread, not mine.

No worries, by the time I actually get around to most movies I've heard tons of good stuff & tons of bad so I put it out of my mind as best I can & drive on.

 

[Fox1994]

See how mindful we are of you, Dell? :bromance: Haha.

 

[Maynard]

Paranormal Activity

Sidenote: I spent way too much time focusing on the ample bosom of our female lead. Maybe that clouded my vision. Nah.

i was distracted by this at times too. I thought they popped out during a night scene where she jumped up in bed. I had to rewind to make sure i didnt miss anything. I didnt.

your review is spot on imo. defiantly a must see imo.....Your the bad comments are 100% agreed with by me. Having Micah stop to always get the camera took away from believing its true. I also felt like there were moments when his woman needed him and all he was interested in doing was video taping....and he did get annoying.

What really bothered me was

 

at the end when they decided they were leaving and then she is all crazy in bed saying she wants to stay.....any guy with half a brain would have been like fuck this and left....i mean its one thing to play with Ouija boards and be interested in ghosts....but this thing dragged his girl out of bed and down the stairs.....thats when its time to say fuck this

this could not have been more appropriate
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpPdgrr5diM"]YouTube- eddie murphy - delirious (get out)[/ame]

 

[dell71]

Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire
2009. Rated R, 110 minutes.
Director: Lee Daniels.
Starring Gabourey Sidibe, Mo'Nique, Paula Patton, Mariah Carey.

Plot: 16 year-old Precious (Sidibe) tries to navigate life through a maze of abuse.

The Good: Realism jumps off the screen. Every word of it simply feels true. This makes the fantasies Precious uses as a way to endure pain extremely effective and sad. Sidibe pulls off each emotion flawlessly, in the lead role. However, as good as she is, the movie would go nowhere without the powerhouse performance of Mo'Nique as her mom. She never makes a false acting choice and really brings the movie home during its closing moments. It's a role in which she could've easily pushed too much and come off as cartoonishly psychotic. To her credit, and the movie's benefit, she never crosses that line. This makes Precious a true-to-life horror film and her character, a splendid villain. Also to the movie's benefit, it doesn't take the easy way out. To the contrary, when the end-credits start rolling, Precious is in a better place than when we first meet her but there is much uncertainty about her future. Her life can go in any number of different directions, some good and some bad.

The Bad: With an almost all-female cast, it falls into what I call "The Color Purple Trap." In that movie about a similarly abused woman, men generally come off as the enemy. Here, there are only a few male characters, the father, some guys that hang out in front of a building Precious has to pass every day and Nurse John. Only Nurse John, a surprisingly pretty decent acting Lenny Kravitz by the way, has any redeeming qualities whatsoever. However, even he is of needlessly ambiguous purpose. Finally, the relationship between Precious' mom and grand-mom could've been explored a little further, shedding more light on what may have happened before our hero was even born.

The Ugly: Her dad's parting gift.

Recommendation: This is a movie that repeatedly hits you over the head with its very ugly truth and it never pulls any punches. Though its qualified as a family drama, even a chick-flick, it's really an urban horror film, frightening and heart-wrenching because this may be going on next door. One of my favorite "scary" movies is Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer. Its power lies in the fact that Henry is not Freddy Krueger or Jason of some other supernatural killing machine but someone so unassuming you might have sat next to him at a bar or in a diner and completely forgotten about unless he were actually trying to kill you. There are no serial killers here, but the fear generated is much the same. Therefore, we feel each tragedy and triumph with our hero and our thoughts about what will happen to her next linger on, after the movie has ended.

The Opposite View: Dana Stevens, Slate

What the Internet Says: 7.6/10 on imdb.com (12/28/09), 91% on rottentomatoes.com, 79/100 on metacritic.com

MY SCORE: 10/10

 

[Buzzman]

I really enjoyed Monique but I think its overrated.

 

[dell71]

I really enhoyed Monique but I think its overrated.

fair enough.