Dell's Good, Bad & Ugly Movie Reviews

[NAHSTE]

Nice review, Dell. I think we've discussed this before, but you can really tell the budget was tighter for the sequels. Have you seen the third installment yet? Curious to see which you like better, I prefer Hornet's Nest, FWIW.

 

[dell71]

Haven't seen Hornet's Nest just yet.

 

[dell71]

This is the time of year when everyone tells you what they think are the best movies of the year. I'll do the same, later. When I was about to give you my two cents on 2010, I remembered I haven't told you what I thought were the best films of <em>2009</em>. Here's the long and short of it (* denotes foreign language movies):

25. Moon
24. The Secret in their Eyes*
23. A Serious Man
22. The Lovely Bones
21. Sin Nombre*

20. District 9
19. World's Greatest Dad
18. Paranormal Activity
17. Broken Embraces*
16. In the Loop
15. Up in the Air
14. Good Hair
13. Brothers
12. Big Fan
11. Thirst*

10. Zombieland
9. The Hangover
8. Drag Me to Hell
7. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo*
6. The Messenger
5. Inglourious Basterds
4. Sugar
3. Up
2. Precious based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire
1. The Hurt Locker

On the flipside...

The Worst of 2009:

10. Underworld: Rise of the Lycans
9. Jennifer's Body
8. 2012
7. The Collector
6. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
5. The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day
4. Alvin & the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel
3. G-Force
2. Year One
1. Miss March


Finally, way on the other side...

The Most "So Bad They're Awesome!" (no rankings, here):

Blood: The Last Vampire
Blood and Bone
Crank: High Voltage
Ninja Assassin
Obsessed
The Stepfather
The Tournament

 

[tigstah]

This is the time of year when everyone tells you what they think are the best movies of the year. I'll do the same, later. When I was about to give you my two cents on 2010, I remembered I haven't told you what I thought were the best films of <em>2009</em>. Here's the long and short of it (* denotes foreign language movies):

25. Moon
24. The Secret in their Eyes*
23. A Serious Man
22. The Lovely Bones
21. Sin Nombre*

20. District 9
19. World's Greatest Dad
18. Paranormal Activity
17. Broken Embraces*
16. In the Loop
15. Up in the Air
14. Good Hair
13. Brothers
12. Big Fan
11. Thirst*

10. Zombieland
9. The Hangover
8. Drag Me to Hell
7. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo*
6. The Messenger
5. Inglourious Basterds
4. Sugar
3. Up
2. Precious based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire
1. The Hurt Locker

On the flipside...

The Worst of 2009:

10. Underworld: Rise of the Lycans
9. Jennifer's Body
8. 2012
7. The Collector
6. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
5. The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day
4. Alvin & the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel
3. G-Force
2. Year One
1. Miss March


Finally, way on the other side...

The Most "So Bad They're Awesome!" (no rankings, here):

Blood: The Last Vampire
Blood and Bone
Crank: High Voltage
Ninja Assassin
Obsessed
The Stepfather
The Tournament

i remember the stepfather.....odd movie. the stepfather was crazy

 

[Buzzman]

Looking at your list reminds me that 2010 has been a far superior year.

 

[dell71]

Looking at your list reminds me that 2010 has been a far superior year.

I've got lots left to see from 2010, so the verdict's still out for me.

 

[dell71]

...so far...

As stated, yesterday, I'm here to give my list of the best movies of 2010. I have a problem, though. I've only seen about a third of the year's movies that I plan on seeing. To that end, consider this the best of 2010, so far. At some point in 2011, I'll come up with a finalized list, but for now these are the best I've seen from this year:

10. Iron Man 2
9. The Karate Kid
8. Salt
7. How to Train Your Dragon
6. The Book of Eli
5. Shutter Island
4. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
3. Kick-Ass
2. Toy Story 3
1. Inception


Hmmm...I can assure you that should I live at least a few more months like I plan to, those bottom 3 will certainly not make my final top 10. Honestly, I can easily foresee those last 5 entries dropping out. Lots of stuff I haven't seen, yet so don't this list too harshly.

 

[Buzzman]

I had no doubt Inception would be your #1.

 

[St. Francisco]

Put Ink on your list Dell, I'd like to see your review of it.

 

[dell71]

Put Ink on your list Dell, I'd like to see your review of it.

To be honest, haven't heard of that one. I'll be sure to check it out.

 

[dell71]

Pick-Up
<strong>Directed by Bernard Hirschenson.</strong>
<em>1975. Rated R, 80 minutes.
Cast:
Jill Senter
Gini Eastwood
Alan Long
Tom Quinn
Bess Douglass
John Winter
Don Penny</em>​

When our story begins we get a closeup of some guy’s face as he takes a leak on the side of a bus. Umm…okaaay. Not too far off the side of the road, a couple of young ladies are sitting amongst the weeds watching the action. The blonde makes googly eyes at him, immediately convincing him to give these two random babes a lift wherever they want to go. She can’t get there fast enough, but the brunette is hesitant. You see, the brunette is an Aries. Apparently, all people born under that sign have psychic abilities. At least, that’s what she says. Anyhoo, her spider sense or something kicks in and with a rather blank look on her face that we’ll become far too familiar with, she says “It’s gonna be a bad trip.” Little did I know at this point, she is talking about our experience watching this crap. Thinking she means something bad, possibly gruesome and hopefully interesting is about to happen, I keep watching.

Once on board, we find out the bus is actually a 1970s style mobile home. It looks pretty spiffy on the inside. This thing must’ve eaten up a large chunk of the budget, but I digress. The brunette continues to be sour puss and has numerous flashbacks to her painful childhood, during which she appears fully grown, by the way. This must be contagious because eventually, the other two start having flashbacks, too. No to be outdone by a couple of non-Aries, the brunette also has all sorts of strange visions (hallucinations?). She conjures up a random Black woman dressed in an all-white flowing robe whispering very loudly in her best ominous voice. There is also the even more random and bizarre clown that chases her through the woods. Finally, there’s an even-more-random-than-the-clown concrete slab in the middle of said woods. The brunette wanders upon that, wearing only the robe she must have borrowed from the Black woman. She quickly strips that off and psychicly pleasures herself. What? You think I’m kidding? I wish.

Speaking of getting naked, that’s what the other two knuckleheads do best. Well, they have a lot of sex, too. They go for walks, take off their clothes, frolic in the grass, or water, ride a swing together and do the wild thing. They also laugh the whole time, unless they’re kissing or on those less than thrilling occasions one of their brains forms a sentence and forces them to speak. However, just so you don’t go thinking the blonde is having all the fun, or doubt our guy’s studliness, the brunette eventually comes around and he screws her, too. In fact, that’s the turning point of our movie. It precedes a very strange ending that makes about as much sense as inviting Hitler to a bar mitzvah.

The sad part is while we’re watching this, we get the sense the director is striving to create something deep, meaningful and artistically sexy. Unfortunately, we can also tell he doesn’t have anything even remotely resembling the ability to turn that particular trick. Just making it coherent is a task he fails miserably. What he’s given us is soft-core porn at its very weirdest.

<strong>MY SCORE: 0/10</strong>​

 

[dell71]

Shrek Forever After
<strong>Directed by Mike Mitchell.</strong>
<em>2010. Rated PG, 93 minutes.
Cast:
Mike Myers
Cameron Diaz
Eddie Murphy
Antonio Banderas
Walt Dorhn
Jane Lynch
Craig Robinson
Julie Andrews
John Cleese
Jon Hamm</em>​

Shrek (Myers) is struggling with the monotony of family life, and the loss of privacy brought on by the celebrity his adventures have earned him. He longs for the days when he was a single, and feared, ogre, free to take a mud bath in peace. This leads him to sign a deal with Rumplestilskin (Dohrn) for just one day to enjoy as the monster he once was. If you’ve paid any attention to the first three movies in the series, you know things in Far Far Away are never quite so easy. Needless to say, the deal comes with plenty of strings attached. Suffice it to say that Shrek once again finds himself trying to find true love’s kiss.

In keeping with the direction the franchise has taken, this fourth installment is a more straight-forward adventure than the ruthless deconstruction of the fairy-tale that was the original. Here, Shrek finds himself in an alternate reality and Fiona to be the leader of “the resistance” against the rule of Rumplestilskin. There’s lots of swashbuckling and Shrek trying to convince everyone that what he’s saying is true. There are lots of references to the original movie, but like I said not as much of that same style of humor. There is some, such as when we first meet The Pied Piper. When it goes down that road is when it is most successful. That said, there are other moments that work quite well.

<em>Forever After</em> suffers from predictability and constantly using the original as a crutch. It also gives its action scenes more responsibility. The franchise is at its best when the action supplements the humor. This movie has it reversed, the humor only supplements the action, and it is less intriguing because of it. However, its still a fun ride that for all its flaws, is a step up from the lackluster <em>Shrek the Third</em>.

<strong>MY SCORE: 6.5/10</strong>​

 

[dell71]

The A-Team
<strong>Directed by Joe Carnahan.</strong>
<em>2010. Rated PG-13, 117 minutes.
Cast:
Liam Neeson
Bradley Cooper
Jessica Biel
Quinton “Rampage” Jackson
Sharlto Copley
Patrick Wilson
Gerald McRaney
Brian Bloom
Henry Czerny</em>​

Overkill is underrated. That phrase is used in the trailer for <em>The A-Team</em> and somewhere along the way our fearless leader, Col. Hannibal Smith (Neeson) actually does utter these words. This movie treats that statement like a plague to be cured. Nothing is done that isn’t overdone. Another line of dialogue helps ease us into suspending our belief. Cpt. Sosa (Biel), hot on the trails of our heroes, tells her own team that these guys “specialize in the ridiculous.” This flick knows its just dumb fun, and makes sure you do, too.

If you have any knowledge of and/or recollection of the 1980s then you know this movie is based on the television series of the same name. For you youngsters that only see him in commercials, or know of him through his Chuck Norris styled “facts”, that series, along with <em>Rocky III</em> is the reason Mr. T is famous. From its first episode, it told us these guys were fugitives from the law based on a crime they didn’t commit. While fleeing the government and trying to gather information to clear their names, they were hired by the good citizens of Anytown, USA to take on the local bad guys. The movie is a prequel to this. It examines how our boys found themselves in that predicament. Honestly, going this route is a wise decision. We get the origin story we never really got from the series.

Even if this is all a bit goofy, and wholly unrealistic, it’s a fun, brainless adventure. As brainlessness goes, this is top notch. There’s plenty of narrow escapes, elaborate plans and pure zaniness, a lot like its source material. Much of this formula’s success hinges on the work of Liam Neeson as Hannibal. As was the case with <em>Taken</em>, his booming voice and unshakeable swagger elevates the material he’s given to work with. He’s helped most in this department by Bradley Cooper as Face. Sharlto Copley is adequate as Murdoch. The only suspect performance is turned in by MMA fighter Quinton “Rampage” Jackson as B. A. Baracus. The problem is his Mr. T impersonation comes and goes. Either do it, or don’t. That said, I was hoping to hear him use Mr. T’s iconic catch-phrase “I pity the fool”, but I don’t remember him using it. However, this version of Baracus forgoes all the gold chains and instead rocks a tat on his left hand that reads “pity” while one on his right reads “fool.” I guess that covers it.

Overall, <em>The A-Team</em> is a popcorn flick with no pretentions of being otherwise. This enables us to enjoy it even as it revels in its own stupidity. Of course, for some it will just be entirely too dumb. Once again, it knows this and doesn’t mind one bit.

<strong>MY SCORE: 7/10</strong>​

 

[Primetime]

Really enjoyed The A-Team myself. I wasn't looking for excellent screen play and amazing acting and I got just what I wanted from it. It's zany, funny, action-packed, and relative to the series. 7-8/10 for me too.

 

[Primetime]

BTW, please watch and review The Social Network as soon as possible. It will be worth your time.

 

[Palooza]

watch Exit Through the Gift Shop, too please.

 

[dell71]

The Town
<strong>Directed by Ben Affleck.</strong>
<em>2010. Rated R, 125 minutes.
Cast:
Ben Affleck
Jeremy Renner
Rebecca Hall
Jon Hamm
Blake Lively
Peter Postlethwaite
Slaine
Titus Welliver</em>​

Doug MacRay (Affleck) and his boys rob a bank in their hometown of Charlestown, MA. As a warning, we’ve already been told this Boston-area city produces more bank and armored car robbers than anywhere in the world. Anyhoo, as things develop quickly, part of their getaway involves taking one of the bank’s managers hostage. Since they’re not completely evil and were wearing masks, they decide to let her out, blindfolded, at the beach. Our gang keeps her drivers license as a little insurance. When they finally bother to look at her license the next day, they discover she live right in their neighborhood. Doug takes it upon himself to follow her around and make sure she can’t give any useful information to the cops. Very unwisely, he starts courting the shaken would be witness and the two begin to fall madly in love.

These events set up an intriguing game of cat-and-mouse that is, at times, reminiscent of Michael Mann’s classic <em>Heat</em>. Don’t worry, this does plenty of its own thing and is outstanding in its own right. The storytelling is fascinating and the robbery scenes are intense. It also builds relationships that have grown from simple roots, but become more complicated as time goes on. The first is obviously of Doug and James (Renner), his partner-in-crime. Helping it be that is Renner as James. His and Affleck’s characters are like brothers, but actually aren’t. Each has selfish motives but needs the other. Like he was in <em>The Hurt Locker</em>, Renner is simply fantastic in his role.

Three other subplots are done just as well. There’s the cop procedural element. Here is where it most resembles <em>Heat</em>. The police learn who the bad guys are rather quickly. They just have to figure out how to catch them. Then, there is our gang’s working relationship with “The Florist” (Postletwaite). Finally, we have Doug’s relationship with his dad who’s been incarcerated for many years.

All of these things combine to make <em>The Town</em> a excellent experience. It is a crime drama through and through, a fantastic one at that. Kudos goes to Affleck, who steered the ship. With this, and <em>Gone Baby Gone</em> from a couple years ago, he’s establishing himself as an outstanding director.

<strong>MY SCORE: 8/10</strong>​

 

[dell71]

Wall Street
<strong>Directed by Oliver Stone.</strong>
<em>1987. Rated R, 126 minutes.
Cast:
Michael Douglas
Charlie Sheen
Daryl Hannah
John C. McGinley
Hal Holbrook
James Karen
Martin Sheen
Tamara Tunie</em>​

Struggling young stock broker Bud Fox (Charlie Sheen) earns his way under the wing of big-time power player Gordon Gekko (Douglas). The younger Sheen holds his own as the eager kid who’s suddenly figured out how to make unbelievable loads of money. His real life dad, Martin Sheen, also gives a wonderful performance as his fictional dad.

The Sheen family’s work aside, this is Michael Douglas’ movie. He is absolutely magnetic and dominates every scene in which he appears. His now iconic “Greed is Good” speech serves as an exclamation point behind his name. Despite the fact he has no superpowers and doesn’t kill anyone, Gekko is one of the all-time great movie villains. His scariness is derived from the fact that we know for a fact there are Gordon Gekko’s in the real world who’ve made fortunes putting us regular people out of work because it’s profitable for them. Not one of us has ever waged intergalactic warfare against an evil Jedi or saved our girlfriend from a mad scientist with giant mechanical arms. Lots of us have worked for companies that were bought out or went through mergers and felt uneasy about our futures. This gives Gekko power beyond many other bad guys.

A sidenote: This has mostly held up pretty good over the years, but dates itself when Gekko is talking on a cell phone. It’s about the size of a microwave. Of course, this applies to the computers in this movie, as well. These things aren’t mere dinosaurs. They’re single-cell organisms at the dawn of time. Still, nevermind all this. <em>Wall Street</em> is the crown-jewel of Michael Douglas’ career and one of Oliver Stone’s very best.

<strong>MY SCORE: 10/10</strong>

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps
<strong>Directed by Oliver Stone.</strong>
<em>2010. Rated PG-13, 133 minutes.
Cast:
Shia LaBeouf
Michael Douglas
Carey Mulligan
Josh Brolin
Frank Langella
Susan Sarandon
Austin Pendleton
Vanessa Ferlito</em>​

There is a lot of stuff happening, here. The iconic Gordon Gekko (Douglas) is finally out of jail and armed with a best-selling book. Still, his daughter Winnie (Mulligan) blames him for everything since the crucifixion of Christ and wants nothing to do with him. Of course, this means she’s in love with a guy just like him. That guy is Jake Moore (LaBeouf), a young Wall Street hotshot with a jones for an alternative energy company in California.

Keep up, we’re just getting started.

The firm Jake works for collapses. Did I mention this is set in 2008? Anyhoo, when the firm goes belly up, Jake’s beloved boss Lou (Langella) can’t take it anymore, or finally had enough of the smell in the subway, and steps in front of a train. As you would expect, Jake gets all pissed and , tries to go Jason Witwicky and get Bumblebee to kick some ass. However, since he can’t do that in this movie, he decides he’s going to try and take down the man who he thinks is responsible for all his recent misfortunes, Gordon Gekko…oh, wait, sorry. <em>That</em> would’ve made it more interesting. Instead, it’s some other cold-hearted arrogant mogul named Bretton James (Brolin). He’s the kind of guy that likes to stab people in the back and then come around front and act tough as they die.

Well, since it is 2008 and all, the Dow Jones does all of Jakes heavy lifting and all the firms soon find themselves in financial ruin and facing extinction. By the way, there’s also Jake’s mom (Sarandon) who’s a real estate junkie, a cajillion karat engagement ring and an angry liberal website.

Phew! Let me catch my breath.

Actually, all that sounds like an interesting movie. Add in the fact that Oliver Stone is indeed directing the sequel to one of his masterpieces, and this has the pedigree to be great. Sadly, it’s nothing of the sort. It’s just a bunch of stuff.

An old baseball saying warns us to “make them beat you with your best pitch.” If you’re a pitcher tasked with getting out the other team’s star hitter in a potentially game-changing moment, throw your best pitch. If that pitch is a 100 mph fastball, go with that. Don’t bother with your curveball that doesn’t curve so much. For non-baseball fans, it simply means go with what you do best in crucial situations. <em>WS: MNS</em> rarely throws its best pitch.

It’s best pitch is the Gordon Gekko of the original movie. That Gekko is simultaneously magnetic and repulsive. He is irreverent, unapologetic, self-absorbed and above all, greedy. He is one of the best villains of the 1980s, possibly of cinematic history. This version is much more pathetic. His smugness and sliminess has lost most of its appeal. Worse than that, because we do get glimpses of the old Gordon, he’s a secondary player on what should’ve been his stage to shine.

That stage is thoroughly hogged by Jake and James. As our good guy, LaBeouf does what LaBeouf always does, take it or leave it. As the bad guy, Brolin turns in another in what’s becoming a long line of impressive performances. The problem is the characters themselves. They’re both less interesting knock-offs of their counterparts from the original, with equally less interesting dialogue and relationship between them. There’s no complexity to it. It’s simply good guy vs. bad guy. The original gave us two guys who obviously admired one another and, for a time, really were on the same side. The sequel ditches that for standard hero/villain fare, not its best pitch.

About two-thirds of the way through, we get a cameo by Charlie Sheen, ever so briefly reprising his role as Bud Fox. This might be the best scene in the movie. That’s the worst thing that it could’ve been. Seeing Sheen and Douglas have a short, but contentious conversation is too much a reminder of what could’ve been. It’s a mere hint of the movie we wanted. After a few fleeting moments, Sheen walks off dragging our hopes and dreams, kicking and screaming behind him, never to be seen again. There went the movie’s best pitch.

We get more curveballs that don’t curve. We get lots of drawn out scenes of meetings where old men try desperately to save their own backsides. We get lots of one-on-one meetings between others, either trying to save themselves or talk tough to one another. We get lots of clips of CNN. All of this is steeped in joyless financial jargon. The movie only moves away from feeling like economics class when it involves Gekko’s daughter, Winnie. However, with her constant whining she’s much more an annoyance that the reprieve we need.

This movie has needs, too. Apparently, it needs us to like the Gekko family, along with Jake who keeps threatening to be their new addition. To that end, everything is wrapped up in one gutwrenchingly cheesy and hastily tied little bow. All of the good guys will have their cake, and eat it too. It’s too easy, too cliché and not Oliver Stone’s best pitch.

<strong>MY SCORE: 5.5/10</strong>​

 

[Buzzman]

Regarding Wall Street 2

 

The film obviously still wouldn't be no where near the first, but if they would have ended the film after Gekko tricks his daughter into giving him his money back, that would have left it a far more satisfying taste. They ruined a perfect ending.

 

[dell71]

Regarding Wall Street 2

 

The film obviously still wouldn't be no where near the first, but if they would have ended the film after Gekko tricks his daughter into giving him his money back, that would have left it a far more satisfying taste. They ruined a perfect ending.

To that, I agree but have a slightly different take...

 

not necessarily end it right there because you still had that other stuff going on, but they definitely should've cut the hokey reunion ending and left Gekko a bad guy.