• Rules and regulations here: http://www.virtualsportsnetwork.com/forum/showthread.php?133219-VSN-Secret-Santa-Donation-Drive-Raffle-Waffle-Maynard-is-Awful&p=2346085#post2346085
  • We have just launched a new VSN Amazon Store. This new store will allow you to order games (including PC downloads) and anything else you want from Amazon and help VSN out at the same time! You get the exact same deals and pre-order bonuses through our store front as you do from Amazon so please bookmark this link and use it when you are shopping at Amazon.com - [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/"][COLOR="#0000FF"][U]VSN Amazon Store[/U][/COLOR][/URL] Here are some direct links to pre-order the major upcoming titles- [B][SIZE=4][COLOR="#0000FF"]PlayStation 4[/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00BGA9WK2"]PlayStation 4 500GB Console[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00HVBPRUO"]PlayStation 4 Gold Wireless Headset[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00BGA9X9W"]PlayStation 4 DualShock 4 Wireless Controller[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00BGAA3S2"]PlayStation 4 Camera[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00DCBDNW6"]Final Fantasy XIV: A REALM REBORN[/URL] - April 14th [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00J128FPA"]Final Fantasy XIV: A REALM REBORN Collectors Edition[/URL] - April 14th [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00IMVRVC4"]Trials Fusion[/URL] - April 15th [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00GG4BBUM"]MLB 14: The Show[/URL] - May 6th [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00DHF39KS"]Wolfenstein: The New Order[/URL] - May 20th [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00BI83EVU"]Watch Dogs[/URL] - May 27th [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00DYAQHTQ"]Watch Dogs Limited Edition[/URL] - May 27th [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00I0574EW"]Murdered Soul Suspect[/URL] - June 3rd [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00DHF39HQ"]The Elder Scrolls Online[/URL] - June 30th [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00BGA9ZZ4"]Drive Club[/URL] - September 30th [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00GZ1GUSY"]Tomb Raider Definitive Edition[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00H5V9S6E"]Rayman Legends - Standard Edition[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00C27SCC2"]Thief[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00HD4R5YU"]Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes Standard Edition[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00BGAA0SU"]inFAMOUS Second Son Limited Edition[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00FYIXMHQ"]inFAMOUS Second Son Collectors Edition[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00D2ZK1IG"]Dying Light[/URL] [B][SIZE=4][COLOR="#0000FF"]PlayStation 3[/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00B0JALUE"]PlayStation 3 500GB Console[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00AEX81SG"]PlayStation 3 250GB Console[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00GY4OAIE"]LEGO The Hobbit[/URL] - April 8th [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00I9UVY30"]FIFA 2014 World Cup Brazil[/URL] - April 15th [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00ICWO2ZW"]Darksiders Collection[/URL] - April 29th [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00ICWO2P2"]Red Faction Collection[/URL] - April 29th [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00HQY8LRM"]Rambo The Video Game[/URL] - April 29th [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00FRESXSA"]The Amazing Spider-Man 2[/URL] - April 29th [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00CPKUV98"]Wolfenstein: The New Order[/URL] - May 20th [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00J6DLPLK"]Drakengard 3[/URL] - May 20th [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00BGHUS58"]Watch Dogs[/URL] - May 27th [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00DYAQHZ0"]Watch Dogs Collectors Edition[/URL] - May 27th [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00BG6ZHK0"]Murdered: Soul Suspect[/URL] - June 3rd [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00IGHP28Y"]Transformers Rise of The Dark Spark[/URL] - June 24th [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00DNGQTFI"]Dragon Ball Z: Battle of Z[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00H4BBTCQ"]Tomb Raider - GOTY Edition[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00HNYWFMC"]Far Cry Compilation [/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00946FSIA"]Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00HQY8LRM"]Rambo The Video Game[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00FQFFPZO"]NASCAR '14[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00DFT92MU"]Thief[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B0088MVP3S"]Castlevania: Lords of Shadow 2[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00ECOBFCC"]The LEGO Movie Videogame[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B006IOAHPK"]South Park: The Stick of Truth[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00FDQQD52"]South Park: The Stick of Truth Grand Wizard Edition [/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00F6YD2AK"]Dark Souls II Black Armor Edition[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00F6YD2FK"]Dark Souls II Collectors Edition[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00GJSUUC0"]Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes Standard Edition[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00E44EZYA"]Ultra Street Fighter IV[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00D2ZK2O4"]Dying Light[/URL] [B][SIZE=4][COLOR="#0000FF"]Xbox One[/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00CMQTVUA"]Xbox One Console[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00MCLFZ1Y"]Xbox One Console Madden 15 Bundle[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00IIHU44E"]Xbox One Console Titanfall Bundle[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00HVPFGD8"]Titanfall Limited Edition Controller[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00CMQTUSS"]Xbox One Wireless Controller[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00IAVDQCK"]Xbox One Stereo Headset[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00IAVDOS6"]Xbox One Stereo Headset Adapter[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00GY4OB8S"]LEGO The Hobbit[/URL] - April 8th [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00CMQTUCE"]KINECT Sports: Rivals[/URL] - April 8th [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00IMVRVA6"]Trials Fusion[/URL] - April 15h [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00FRESTZW"]The Amazing Spider-Man 2[/URL] - April 29th [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00DHF39L2"]Wolfenstein: The New Order[/URL] - May 20th [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00CX8VY4S"]Watch Dogs[/URL] - May 27th [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00DYAQI0E"]Watch Dogs Limited Edition[/URL] - May 27th [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00I0574CO"]Murdered Soul Suspect[/URL] - June 3rd [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00IGH2HKU"]Transformers Rise of The Dark Spark[/URL] - June 24th [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00DHF39EO"]The Elder Scrolls Online[/URL] - June 30th [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00GZ1GUNO"]Tomb Raider Definitive Edition[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00DBCAS7E"]Zoo Tycoon[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00H5V9SLE"]Rayman Legends - Standard Edition[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00CYNTHA0"]Thief[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00DB9JYFY"]Titanfall[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00G2HSX86"]Titanfall Collectors Edition[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00HD4R5WC"]Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes Standard Edition[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00D2ZK2MQ"]Dying Light[/URL] [B][SIZE=4][COLOR="#0000FF"]Xbox 360[/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00FATRKOK"]Xbox 360 250GB Holiday Value Console[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00GZ9ESEE"]Xbox 360 250GB Console w/Halo 4, Darksiders II, Tomb Raider and Batman: Arkham City[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B003ZSP0WW"]Xbox 360 Wireless Controller[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00DC9SWWE"]Titanfall[/URL] - April 8th [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00G2HSWZU"]Titanfall Collectors Edition[/URL] - April 8th [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00GY4OBB0"]LEGO The Hobbit[/URL] - April 8th [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00I9UVY7G"]FIFA 2014 World Cup Brazil[/URL] - April 15th [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00ICWO2G6"]Darksiders Collection[/URL] - April 29th [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00FRESY6G"]The Amazing Spider-Man 2[/URL] - April 29th [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00CPKUV7K"]Wolfenstein: The New Order[/URL] - May 20th [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00BGD6LMG"]Watch Dogs[/URL] - May 27th [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00DYAQHNC"]Watch Dogs Limited Edition[/URL] - May 27th [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00BG6ZHL4"]Murdered: Soul Suspect[/URL] - June 3rd [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00IGHY7LC"]Transformers Rise of The Dark Spark[/URL] - June 24th [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00DNGQQUQ"]Dragon Ball Z: Battle of Z[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00H4BBVZQ"]Tomb Raider - GOTY Edition[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00DBCAT3W"]Fable Anniversary[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00946FSJ4"]Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00FQFFQ2Q"]NASCAR '14[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00DFT92EI"]Thief[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B0088MVP2Y"]Castlevania: Lords of Shadow 2[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00ECOBFA4"]The LEGO Movie Videogame[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B006IOAHTQ"]South Park: The Stick of Truth[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00FDQQD6Q"]South Park: The Stick of Truth Grand Wizard Edition [/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00F6YD26Y"]Dark Souls II Black Armor Edition[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00F6YD27I"]Dark Souls II Collectors Edition[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00GJSUXLS"]Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes Standard Edition[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00E44EZPE"]Ultra Street Fighter IV[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00D2ZK2RQ"]Dying Light[/URL] [B][SIZE=4][COLOR="#0000FF"]Wii U[/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00GY4OAM0"]LEGO The Hobbit[/URL] - April 22nd [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00FRESQKU"]The Amazing Spider-man 2[/URL] - April 29th [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00DC7G2W8"]Mario Kart 8[/URL] - May 30th [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00IGH1LJ8"]Transformers Rise of the Dark Spark[/URL] - June 24th [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00DC7O77A"]Donkey Kong Country Tropical Freeze[/URL] [URL="http://astore.amazon.com/vsngaming-20/detail/B00ECOAX34"]The LEGO Movie Videogame[/URL]
  • We are looking to possibly form a second XB1 Madden 15 league on VSN. Please visit the Sports Gaming subforum and post in the thread if you are interested.
  • There will be a site outage from 12 pm est till 3 am est
  • If you are having trouble accessing your account and don't remember your password, email help@virtualsportsnetwork.com and i'll get you an updated password for 2024.

Palooza's Top 125 Films of 2012

35 . Your Sister's Sister
YSS-L-STILL%20(12).jpg

Mark Duplass, Emily Blunt, Rosemarie DeWitt, Mike Birbiglia
Director(s) - Lynn Shelton
Writer(s) - Lynn Shelton
Source Material/Connections - n/a
MPAA Rating - R
Release Date - June 15 (limited)
Runtime - 1 hour, 31 minutes
RT Score - 83%
Metacritic - 72/100
Views - 1
Viewed - torrent
Quote - n/a
Review - Your Sister's Sister is a really thoughtful indie that deals with a bunch issues (death, family/siblings, "love") but in a realistic way that makes the film feel genuine until a flat ending kind of leaves a meh taste in your mouth. Still, the ending can't bring down this well acted and well written movie. Mark Duplass pulls off the perfect damaged funny guy lovable loser type of Jack. The film opens up a party in the memory of Jack's brother who had died the year before. Jack is obviously not in great shape because after a moving speech from Mike Birbiglia's character who plays one of Jack's brother's friends about seeing Hotel Rwanda with the brother and it changing his life. Jack stands up and calls bullshit, saying that the real guy that none of them knew went to see Revenge of the Nerds and changed his bullying ways, but only because that movie showed him to always be on the winning side and sometimes that's the nerds. From there Jack's brother's former girlfriend Iris (Emily Blunt) suggests that Jack get away for a little bit at her family's cabin. He travels there and it just so happens that Iris's sister, Hannah (Rosemarie DeWitt) is there to cool herself as well after a 7 year relationship with her girlfriend just ended. They get drunk and bond in a really funny, awkward sequence that ends in a sex. The next morning Iris shows up and they're shady, they all bond revealing secret things about themselves to each other (the sex, Iris and Jack liking one another without admitting it, Hannah's true intentions with Jack, etc). It's all really touching and engaging. The key here is in the stellar acting and chemistry the three leads have with one another. We'll see Duplass and Blunt much later on. Unfortunately for the awesome amazing DeWitt, we will not be seeing her again on this list. edit - we'll even be seeing Birbigs down the line, too. Poor Rosemarie DeWitt. Don't make movies like The Watch and I guess this wouldn't be a problem. Now that this movie is out of the way we can get into some movies we can actually talk about.
Rating - B
 
TIME FOR OUR FIRST LIVE REVIEW. If you don't know what a LIVE REVIEW is then you are probably retarded, but the best example of it I can give you is my review from last year for X-Men First Class.


99 Films of 2011
x-men-first-class-cast.jpg

16. X-Men: First Class
James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence, Rose Byrne, Kevin Bacon, January Jones, Zoe Kravitz, Nicholas Hoult, Jason Flemyng, Caleb Landry Jones, Lucas Till, Oliver Platt, Matt Craven, Alex Gonzalez, Edi Gathegi, Corey Johnson, Glenn Morshower, Don Creech, James Remar, Boris the Bullet Dodger
Director -
Matthew Vaughn
Writer(s) -
Matthew Vaughn, Ashley Miller, Zach Stentz, Jane Goldman, Bryan Singer (story)
Rotten Tomatoes Score - 87%
Metacritic Score - 65/100
Viewed - In theaters
The X-Men are by far my favorite set of superheroes. I really, really like the first two films by Bryan Singer, especially the second. They were the beginning of the silver screen superhero revolution of the 21st century and while I thank them for opening the door for the likes of Nolan's Batman, I also am bitter that it's become so overdone. For every X2 there are at least two Daredevils. Even X-Men: Last Stand and Wolverine are lumped into the category with Daredevil and Ghost Rider because of the standards X-Men set to start off (and because they're horrible). That's why I'm so thankful after a slew of horrible X-Men films, we're back on track.

What seems to be the thing that makes or breaks these films is the vision. Bryan Singer, Christopher Nolan, Joss Whedon - these are really good directors who have created some of the best superhero films since Singer's first X-Men in 2000. The studio's biggest mistake besides not giving up the rights of X-Men to Marvel was hiring the only director who pops into my head when someone asks me what 'celebrities' I'd enjoy watching die - Brett Ratner for the third installment of the franchise. (George Lucas was crossed off the list since he retired from filmmaking TODAY) This film was a disaster thanks solely to Ratner. The pathetic money grubbing continued with the Origins spin off - Wolverine, my favorite X-Men of all time. I don't want to get into how disgustingly disappointing and pathetic that movie was, but just know it was awful and was directed by some guy whose name I can't even remember (just kidding, it was Gavin Hood, who I don't even think has made a movie since). Okay, so we have awesome source material with a plethora of plot options, defined characters and actors in these roles, so what went wrong? Again, it's all in the vision. Bryan Singer - good. Gavin Hood - a nobody. Brett Ratner - a horrible, horrible piece of shit. So what is the point of this rant? The point is that Matthew Vaughn was the single best choice to take over this franchise. He's established himself with Layer Cake, a variation of the superhero genre with Kick-Ass (one of the best movies of 2010 thanks to the slick violence and over the top action, Hit Girl and Vaughn's directing) and is a friend/producer of Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch director Guy Ritchie. So basically, this guy has all the right stuff to rejuvenate this franchise and he kills it. In a good way.

In X-Men: First Class, we are thrown into the Cold War era where X-Men staples Charles Xavier and Erik Lensherr are young men learning to cope with and exploit their powers - one to woo the ladies, research human mutations and find others like him, and the other to extract revenge. Thanks to Kevin Bacon's former Nazi, Sebastian Shaw and his team of mutant baddies, a select group of good guy mutants come together to help avert nuclear war and this is where the X-Men are born. The action is top notch, even with the amount of establishment of characters that is necessary; Magneto creating most of the badassness, which we'll get to later.

A huge problem with Last Stand was the inclusion of a ton of mutants just for the sake of adding them, but here, Vaughn does a fantastic job of developing each of the characters without making the movie feel forced, jumbled or long. Not only are they all developed well, they all serve a purpose (for the most part). Nobody is really standing around, just a part of the movie for the sake of the fanboys or the studio. The only non-mutant with a significant role is Rose Byrne's MacTaggert, who drops her Scotish accent (that didn't bother me) and is essentially the person who assembles the X-Men together, but once they're all together she's somewhat lost in the shuffle. It's too bad because Rose Byrne is fun to look at. Speaking of fun to look at, we get ourselves a post-Oscar nom, pre-Katniss Jennifer Lawrence who really looks fucking good as the normal version of Raven/Mystique. She kind of freaks me out when she is blue, but I got over it. The world's most famous Negro Jew, Lenny Kravitz's daughter, Zoe is another piece of eye candy with a darkness hovering over her (not a race joke).

I've always said that superhero films are only as good as their villains, but I'd say this may be the exception. Bacon is great in what he is given, but he is not badass or tough enough to portray a villain of the necessary proportions. Bacon does pull off the slimy, conniving side of the villain using the characters on both sides as his pawns in order to gain more power. Cliche, yes but it's such an easy route for the era that you can't blame them, especially since the villain is simply a catalyst.

The moral center of the movie and (for once) it's main focus is James McAvoy's Charles Xavier, donned "Professor X" by Raven. The hair and lack of paralysis throws you off for a moment, but then you realize that this will help McAvoy create the character as his own and the writers end his story in the movie by showing the origins of one of the aforementioned characteristics of Professor X. While watching the film, you are really involved with Professor X, so it's unfortunate that McAvoy and Professor X are hardly ever spoken of in discussion after the film because he is really fucking good. There is really only one thing you can really talk about after this movie is over - Michael Fassbender's portrayal of Erik Lensherr/Magneto. The likable evil we've seen from Ian McKellen's Magneto is completely justified by Fassbender's performance. On top of the performance, Vaughn uses Magneto as the core of the action, which is the smartest way to go about it. Between tossing around an anchor to kill people on a boat, lifting up a submarine, using missiles as toys and the use of a simple coin, Magneto is the reckless badass everyone wants to win. I might also add that the bar scene in Argentina (I think?) is incredible, especially Magneto's use of a knife. This film was supposed to be a companion piece to Wolverine, so it's no wonder Magneto is fleshed out so well. From the concentration camp where we learn of his powers to enacting his revenge on those who exploited him to the final scene on the beach, Erik Lensherr is one of the greatest characters ever created in a comic book adaptation, thanks to this movie and Fassbender. McKellen's Magneto was always sinister, smart and likable and Fassbender makes us understand why. Adding these two portrayals together in one world allows Magneto to become, overall, the best "super" character on film. Fassbender is really something special and it makes me really happy that someone who is going to be one of the best actors of his generation would please us fanboys like he has with his portrayal of Magneto.

I love this movie and the Wolverine cameo - "Go fuck yourself." Like this summer's The Avengers, this was the kind of film fun superhero movies should be.

Grade - A-
 
If you hate Freddie Highmore, I can't wait for a review of a movie that features Kodi Smit-McPhee...he is WOAT of the WOAT.

Only Kodi Smit-McPhee movie you'll see on here is ParaNorman, which I already posted and really liked but not because of McPhee. I agree he is awful. And really fucking ugly. Child actors just suck in general.
 
Negative, I have not. It's deep down my list of things to watch. I hate, I hate, I hate Freddie Highmore.

I don't think it will be anything spectacular but watching how the mother was crazy from the beginning interest me. Vera Fermiga is great as the mom.
 
Just in case Len B comes in here demanding reviews, I am waiting for the site to get its shit together before posting anything new. Blame them, I don't want Gooby to have a Zero Dark Thirty esque manhunt for the reviews that may get lost.
 
I DEMAND REVI... fair enough :yep:

I think my post got deleted last time. I looked up the Sarah Silverman scene and I hate you for making me stare at fat old ladies naked.
 
34 . Prometheus
prometheus-michael-fassbender-660x433.jpg

Noomi Rapace, Logan Marshall-Green, Michael Fassbender, Charlize Theron, Idris Elba, Guy Pearce, Sean Harris, Rafe Spall, Emun Elliot, Benedict Wong, Kate Dickie, Patrick Wilson
Director(s) - Ridley Scott
Writer(s) - Damon Lindeloff, Jon Spaihts
Source Material/Connections - Based in the Alien universe; predates the Alien franchise
MPAA Rating - R
Release Date - June 8
Runtime - 2 hours, 3 minutes
RT Score - 74%
Metacritic - 65/100
Views - 5
Viewed - IMAX 3D x2, theaters, bluray, HBO
Quote - "A king has his reign, and then he dies. It's inevitable. That is the natural order of things."
Quote- "The trick, William Potter, is not minding that it hurts."
Quote - “Big things have small beginnings.”
Quote - “Sometimes in order to create, one must destroy.”
Review - Writing some quick thoughts on Prometheus before I watch it for the 5th time overall. I'm really glad my first experience with this movie was in IMAX 3D. That's how this movie was meant to be seen. From the names in the credits to the score, everything is so crisp and beautiful that it most definitely enhances the experience. Ridley Scott's directing is absolutely top notch, the movie itself is pretty fucking incredible but then we're gunna get into Damon Lindelof and LOST and bringing up great questions with shitty or no answers at all. It turns itself into LOST the movie based on the disappointment of how they handle all the cool and interesting shit that is presented. Also in regards to the IMAX 3D, holy fuck was that well done. The credits and the scene above where David is on a holographic map were just absolutely incredible. IT was beautifully shot. Just really, really beautiful looking.

There are plot holes and caricatures, but Ridley Scott handles the material passionately, and to near-perfection. The visuals are stunning and the landscapes are beautiful. Scott is the true hero of this film’s success, without him and his passion for the universe in which this story exists, it could have been seriously destroyed in the wrong hands. Especially considering the plot holes and unanswered questions presented by Lindelof. With a sequel announced and planned and all that jazz (without Lindelof’s involvement) I think this franchise has serious potential to steer onto the course of some epic shit. Ridley Scott and whoever is writing this sequel need to sit down and figure out how to carry on the surviving characters in addition to subtle links to the Alien movies.

Even though Lindelof has written these characters somewhat as caricatures, Ridley Scott does an amazing job rounding up a perfect cast to bring them to life and build them beyond the cartoonish elements of some of them. All of them go beyond their stereotypes (or maybe more-so go beyond only existing to serve their purpose to the plot.) All of the actors step it up to another level that definitely adds to the overall experience of the film. Charlize Theron, Michael Fassbender, Noomi Rapace, Idris Elba, Guy Pearce - they all go above and beyond the material on the page and create these characters as their own. While they all do dumb things to either entertain the audience or serve the plot, you can forgive them because you are lost in the film.

As always, Michael Fassbender shines above the rest, playing the android, David to absolute perfection. Anything this guy does is perfect. From his turn as the best character in all of the comic book-to-film as Magneto in X-Men: First Class to the smooth sex-addict in Shame (he shoulda won an Oscar and I woulda given him my Best Actor award). David is one of the most fleshed out characters in the film and he’s a god damn android. He is obsessed with culture and understanding everything, humans especially, even if he will never be able to feel like one. He’s an innocent android and then he slowly becomes devious, scheming everyone around him for the benefit of his father. His obsession with Lawrence of Arabia is adorable and child-like. I really just cannot say enough about how robotic in the best way Fassbender’s performance was. I look forward to more David in the future and more Fassbender in general.

Fassbender stands out the most, but it’s Noomi Rapace’s show. She does a very good parallel of Ripley in Alien, slowly building into this badass who will be a force to be reckoned with in the upcoming films. She hasn’t had to directly face an alien like Ripley, but she did have one inside of her, so that’s a big deal. She does give herself an abortion to get an alien out of her, and that certainly accounts for one of the most cringe-worthy/brilliant scenes of the year. Scott doin’ his damn thang. I was really impressed with that and how she played it. Rapace, the original Lisbeth Salander, pulls off the polar opposite in Elizabeth Shaw with such ease. Once this tragedy hits her halfway through the movie, she turns into such a badass, and Shaw is going to be one scary bitch as she makes her way to the Engineers home planet next go around.

It’s a shame that Idris Elba’s ridiculous accent is all anyone talks about in regard to his character. He isn’t exactly fleshed out perfectly, Elba makes the most out of it. His character is probably the only level-headed one of the bunch and does the single most heroic thing in the entire movie.
 
So, one of the Engineers is about to escape and kill the shit out of Earth and so Yaneck and his crew kamikaze themselves into the ship as he is leaving, forcing that fucker to crash and not kill every human on Earth. Good looks, String.

He and his crew are some fucking heroes. Stupid, but selfless and heroic. I fucking love him and this move is essentially what his character exists for, but because of Elba he’s much more than that and this move makes a ton of sense. He has a conversation with Shaw (Rapace) towards the end where he essentially foreshadows his actions, explaining how he won’t let a certain thing happen, blah blah blah. Elba is great, you should know this already. Ignore the accent.

Like Elba, people have ragged on Charlize Theron’s Meredith Vickers, for one specific thing that shouldn’t cloud the great job outside of that. It’s pretty important, soooo spoiler alert.
 
She dies like a punk. Elba and crew have just sacrificed themselves and now the debris from the two ships are coming down on them like it’s Cloudy with a Chance of Shrapnel and so Shaw and Vickers are running for their lives away from this shit. A tall part of Prometheus is falling down and Vickers is trying to outrun it. She’s trying to out run it. Should I repeat that? Well, she’s trying to out run it instead of hooking a quick left or a quick right and outrunning the skinny side. Poor gal.

So she’s a bitch and stuff, but Theron is so beautiful that it turns me on when she is mean, even to my main girl, Shaw. They don’t battle after Shaw becomes a badass, so maybe that’s why I don’t hate Vickers. Either way, she plays a great villainous character amongst the crew and her neglect from Weyland and jealousy-brother/sister relationship with David is really great and some nice acting from the sometimes forgotten actress.

The link between this and Alien isn’t exactly subtle, but it’s not thrown in your face until the very end, so I won’t talk much about it. I don’t think it was perfectly done, but it works for me. The end is WTF enough that it leaves you wanting more.

I look forward to the sequel. I actually eagerly anticipate it. People can hate on this movie all they want, I enjoyed the ever-loving plot hole, unanswered questions shit out of it. Fuck ya’ll if you doubt me.

Grade - B
 
33 . The Cabin in the Woods
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Kristen Connolly, Chris Hemsworth, Anna Hutchison, Fran Kranz, Jesse Williams, Bradley Whitford, Richard Jenkins, Brian White, Amy Acker, Tim de Zarn, Sigourney Weaver
Director(s) - Drew Goddard
Writer(s) - Joss Whedon, Drew Goddard
Source Material/Connections - n/a
MPAA Rating - R
Release Date - April 13
Runtime - 1 hour, 35 minutes
RT Score - 92%
Metacritic - 72/100
Views - 3
Viewed - theaters, torrent x2
Quote - "Society needs to crumble. We're all just too chickenshit to let it."
Review - Spoiler alert. If you haven't see this movie, fuck off and go watch it. If so, read away. Spoilers a-plenty.
The Cabin in the Woods is film of, for and by horror nerds. A meta, genre-deconstructing, cliche-embracing display of fun and genius alike from the mind of Joss Whedon and crew (this time, Drew Goddard takes the reigns as director/co-writer). The movie is in no way perfect and at the end of the day, as smart as it is, it is still a horror movie and within the realm of film, it is by no means one of my favorites, but this movie in particular is absolutely fucking awesome. As the movie opens, before you have any idea what you are getting into - which, by the way is the best way to approach this film, so if you haven't seen it - stop reading this review right now because I'm going to ruin your experience. Plus, this will be spoiler heavy with no tags. Okay as I was saying, As the movie opens, the cliches, caricatures and horror movie tropes begin pouring in. Bunch of college kids (the slut, the virgin, the jock, the stoner, the new guy) are going away for a booze and sex fueled weekend at a remote cabin in the woods. Oh name drop, take a drink. On their way, they run into a creepy dude whose job is generally to set the tone for the weird shit that is going to transpire along the movie. Of course, the filmmakers are smart about it and kind of flip it on its head eventually, you'll see. They're at the cabin and they You can see where this is going right? Welllll....

So throughout this tired plot, we are greeted with the best characters/plot/part/whatever of the movie. These two gentlemen, played by Bradley Whitford and Richard Jenkins are what make this film as awesome as it is. While they do indeed entertain throughout and bring their A game, it's not necessarily their performance (though I can't say enough how these two elevate these already awesome characters with their acting), but the idea of the characters. What the character is to the film. These two are who manipulate and use the tropes and cliches to their advantage, creating the caricatures of the victims and forcing/creating necessary stupidity for the sake of a greater good that is mostly a mystery. So as these two are introduced they are in a large, seemingly underground/isolated lab as they enter their control panel. Here, all the employees bet on a wide selection of potential monsters to attack these poor kids in the cabin. Whitford and Jenkins bring charm and wit and likability to two characters who essentially are villains in a Nuremberg-type way, if the Nazis killing Jews meant the survival of mankind, that is.

So the kids stumble into the basement, as propelled by Jenkins/Whitford as they continue to manipulate the kids. Each of them break off, observing a wide collection of monster-inducing voodoo. At the control center, everyone is on their toes, hoping to get a big payday with which monster is chosen. Eventually, the virgin (Kristen Connolly) reads from a book and unleashes a zombie family and the Maintenance team wins the bet. Whitford had his money on mermen. Poor guy. The kids move on from the basement and hop back upstairs, playing truth or dare and drinking while J/W are pushing pheromones to entice the hyper-sexualized nature of young kids in a horror film. So, after the slut (Anna Hutchison) goes down on a wolf's head, she and the jock (Chris Hemsworth) go outside to get a little frisky and that's when they are attacked by the zombie family. The bitch is sliced the fuck up, dead. J/W say a little prayer to the gods they were sacrificed for before pulling a lever and pouring some blood out for the homies. The jock is beat up pretty badly, but he makes it back just as the stoner (Fran Kranz), the new guy (Jesse Williams) and the virgin are being attacked by other zombies. The stoner notices a camera, but then he's attacked and left for dead while the rest think they're living a horror movie, instead of just being in a horror movie (the "gods" are the audience, J/W are the directors, they are the actors, etc) and run off in the RV back to civilization. HOWEVA, they are blocked off at the tunnel, so the jock takes his dirtbike off the back of the RV and attempts to jump over the gap out of the "game" and back to the real world. He gives some epic "I'm gunna get help. I'm gunna find help, whether I crash or not" bullshit, whatever. He goes for the jump and crashes into an invisible barrier, falling down a serious distance to his death. Poured some more blood out for the homies. This is where the slut and the new guy start thinking "where the fuck what the fuck who the fuck the fuck what the fuck?!" and head back to the cabin, with no where else to go and a lot of questions. The virgin is the only one out of the two who is really piecing things together. She's like da faq man someone is manipulating us. Oh and she's Christina in House of Cards, Peter Russo's squeeze. That was a pleasant surprise to find out, I likes her. Well yeah, so they're driving back and then one of the zombie fucks pops out of the back and slices new guy right through his fucking throat, it was incredible holy shit. She's screaming, he's dead and they drive off a cliff. She swims out and J/W are now celebrating because "the virgin's death is optional as long as its last. As long as she suffers, that's all that matters." All the people back at the control center are drinking and celebrating, believing they have prolonged the gods from coming back and destroying the Earth while in the background on a monitor, the virgin is attacked by another zombie after swimming to safety. Nobody cares, we did it! Or did we....?

The phone is ringing. "Upstairs" is calling. Everyone stops celebrating. Whitford picks up the phone and the game's aren't over yet. The stoner lives. And between he and the virgin's knowledge of this fishy shit, they are determined to figure out just what the fuck is going on. And this, is where shit starts to get fucking awesome. All the cliches are exposed. The game is over. Now, we're going beyond that. We're about to get out of the Matrix. The stoner and the slut climb into the grave and opening up a door to an elevator and now they know someone sent these things after them and now they're going after those people. Uh oh. We catch the wildest collection of monsters from any and every folk lore, horror film, story, anything. Anything that has ever given a child a nightmare is filed away in this underground lab. They wind up releasing ALL of them inside the facility and nobody stands a chance. Once you see the collection of monsters your only thought is "the only thing more awesome is if they all got out." And they do. They all get out and they are attacking every single employee at this place, ripping and tearing them to shreds, eating them, crushing them, whatever. It's disgusting and violent but it is amazing and incredibly satisfying. It's hands down one of the most satisfying moments of the year, just watching all of these products of horror just doing what they were created to do. Whitford is eventually killed by a Merman, which is hilarious and just a reflection of how awesome the movie is itself. The stoner and the slut figure out their roles in the whole ordeal, realize that they weren't even casted properly (the stoner is a virgin) and they refuse to give in to the gods, allowing society to crumble. the end.

I commend Joss Whedon, Drew Goddard and everyone involved in coming up with such a brilliant concept and executing it to near perfection. It's unfortunate that in creating the genre deconstruction of The Cabin in the Woods, it had to suffer at points with what makes horror movies so intolerable these days. It overcomes and embraces its flaws. Highly recommended.

Rating - B
 
Monday has only just begun. I wrote most of them, just delaying posting for dramatic effect. Besides i'm talking to myself in here, where's the incentive to post them if nobody is acknowledging them?!
 
Prometheus is very good, but I really really love Cabin in the Woods - one of my faves of '12 so far (I've still got about 30-40 more I plan on watching)
 
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