The second I heard it, I got a feeling in the pit of my stomach that I will never forget.
So many things went through my mind...how could I end up in this situation? What can I do to fix it? Is it too late to change things? And most of all...how could I live without Ring Of Honor?
I heard the sound that signified my career in ROH was over and my heart sank. Actually, it felt more like it started bleeding.
You have all figured out by now that the sound I'm talking about is the referee coutning to 3 as Generico is pinning me for the victory at Final Battle. But many people thought that feeling in the pit of my stomach was regret...but as I showed everyone at the iPPV, it wasn't.
I spent 6 long months trying to get rid of that feeling...the feeling of undeniable rage and betrayal that festered inside of me ever since that phone call. Remember that call Jimmy? The one where you told me back in October that if Generico and I didn't stop this war immediately, one of us would have to go? I told you there was no way you'd have the guts to get rid of one of us and the next week, I decided to call your bluff and lay out the challenge for Final Battle.
I expected you to lose your fucking mind after I did it and I was right. You did. What I wasn't right about is the fact that you'd beg me to reconsider. I'll admit it, on that one, I was way off. I realized pretty quickly that you weren't going to be manipulated like everyone else I dealt with. You made the match official and it got quite clear quite quickly who you and every other ROH ''official'' were rooting for.
The match was 2 months away and I could already see all of you plan for ROH without Kevin Steen. It made me sick. I knew there was no way I could win this thing. Regardless of how the match went you'd just screw me over if you had to. You couldn't have me running around beating the shit out of everyone and licking people's blood when you were negociating with that nice big corporation that wanted to buy the company, which would ensure that the almighty Jim Cornette would always have a job in ROH and still matter in the wrestling world.
I really tried to let go of that anger but nothing I did helped. The closest thing to relief was when I got to compete in a PWG ring. But even that was bittersweet because after every match, people would come up to me and say ''How are you not in ROH anymore?''
Then I saw what they made Steve do...and that was the straw that broke the camel's back. Steve Corino is the best. My idol. He is an exemple for everyone that wants to leave a mark on this industry. He's one of the guys I watched as an aspiring wrestler that made me say ''I want to be like that guy!''
Of course, that was before he sold his soul for that company. That was before Steve Corino made the decision to cut his own balls off so that he could stay in ROH.
Steve Corino is a fucking legend and instead of embracing that, he turned himself into a apologetic, self-deprecating, pathetic shell of what he really is.
Steve used to come to the ring and beat the shit out of people. He used to come to the ring, bleed buckets and make people bleed. Now he comes to the ring wearing hockey jerseys and says he's sorry so that fans applaud him. He wants to help the younger generation. He tries to make buddy-buddy with a fucking lumberjack. What kind of bullshit is that?
Where's the Steve Corino that would take a fork and cut people open? Where's the Steve Corino who pushed me to get more sadistic and evil than I ever even knew I could? Where's Steve Corino, King of Old School?
I don't know whether he genuinely believes this shit or whether he's doing it to kiss ROH's ass but I'll say this, FUCK him for demeaning himself and FUCK ROH for either LETTING him or FORCING him to do it! And as far as Jimmy Jacobs is concerned, I don't know him as well as I know Steve but it seems to me he got brainwashed into ripping his own balls off too. The unfortunate part is Steve made the mistake of thinking that he could change me as well. I actually can't believe that possibility even occured to him. Maybe Jacobs put that in his head?
All I know is this: Steve, you need to understand that I don't hate you. It's quite the opposite. You are still my idol. I still respect you more than anyone I've ever met in the wrestling business. I still think of you and Colby as family.
But I will never castrate myself in order to make ROH, Cary Silkin, Jim Cornette or you, happy. I am the monster I am and I will never change. My name is Kevin Steen and I am the Antichrist of pro wrestling. I don't need to drink or do drugs to be who I am. I am here to beat the fuck out of people and create as much chaos, pain and mayhem as I can and that's always going to be my purpose.
I waited for 6 months to get a chance to come out, stand in the middle of an ROH ring and scream to the world what I've been feeling and I finally got to do it at Best In The World. But I didn't do it just for me. I did it for a lot of people. I did it for the guys that gave years of their careers to ROH and got discared with no explanation like Necro Butcher, Austin Aries and Jimmy Rave. I did it for Gabe Sapolsky. I did it for my buddy Adam Pearce who poured his soul into that company before being thrown out like grabage. But most of all I did for myself, my wife and son, and for the old Steve Corino... the one that died in December when I got kicked out of the company.
There's so much more I want to write about here but I feel this has been long enough already so let me close this off with one last thing.
Jim Cornette, please remember this:
You cannot keep me out of ROH. You can swear on your mother's grave all you want...your mother's grave doesn't mean shit to me.
I will show up in ROH again, sooner or later. And when I do, it'll be with one goal in mind...
To bring the whole fucking company down, for good.
See you soon..
Love,
Kev
