Article: Palooz Presents: 2013 in Film

[Palooza]

74. Scenic Route
Josh Duhamel, Dan Fogler​

Director(s): Kevin Goetz, Michael Goetz
Writer(s): Kevin Goetz, Michael Goetz
MPAA Rating: R
Release Date: August 23rd
RT Score: 62% (13 fresh, 8 rotten)
The Plot by Palooza: As their relationship slips away as they get older, two friends get stuck in the desert after their car breaks down. Mayhem ensues.
Comments:
Josh Duhamel and Dan Fogler have good chemistry but they play an asshole and an idiot, respectively so it is difficult to get behind them. Fogler is much more impressive in his role but his stupidity is hard to get passed. Duhamel is basically himself just more of an asshole. A more straight forward version of Gus Van Sant's Gerry, never really doing anything special to keep you entertained. There are only a few routes the film can go and the ending is mostly a cop out, showing them escape and become better humans and blah blah blah, but did they really escape?!?!?!?!?!!? If I actually liked the characters, I would have felt cheated that their escape was more than likely just a hallucination, but instead I didn't like them and would have preferred to watch them die.

Spoiler Alert: A dream sequence? Or salvation?
Grade: C

 

[Palooza]

73. Disconnect
Jason Bateman, Hope Davis, Frank Grillo, Andrea Riseborough, Paula Patton, Michael Nyqvist, Alexander Skarsgard, Max Theroit, Marc Jacobs, Colin Ford, Jonah Bobo​

Director(s): Henry Alex Rubin
Writer(s): Andrew Stern
MPAA Rating: R
Release Date: April 12th
RT Score: 68% (49 fresh, 23 rotten)
The Plot by Palooza: A series of interconnected stories that revolve around using technology to connect with others.
Comments:
The title is ironic, do you get it? We're so connected that we're... disconnected. This is essentially CRASH with technology instead of racism. Seriously. Crash - racism + technology = Disconnected. We've come far enough to realize Crash is a pretty mediocre movie. This is no different. The stories consist of cyber bullies, cam boys, and stolen identities. You can pretty much map out how shit is going to go after 20 minutes.

Spoiler Alert: :marty:
Grade: C

 

[dell71]

77. The Last Stand
​

I actually love this movie 'cuz it's so bad it's awesome!​

 

[Palooza]

72. The Secret Life of Walter Mitty
Ben Stiller, Kristen Wiig, Shirley MacLaine, Adam Scott, Katheryn Hahn, Sean Penn, Patton Oswalt, Jon Daly​

Director(s): Ben Stiller
Writer(s): Steve Conrad
MPAA Rating: PG
Release Date: December 25th
RT Score: 49% (84 fresh, 86 rotten)
The Plot by Palooza: Walter Mitty (Ben Stiller) is the lamest guy on the planet and spends most of his time daydreaming. After losing the negative for the cover of the final issue of Time magazine, Walter goes on a quest to find it and himself, all the while trying to impress this cutie from work (Kristen Wiig).
Comments:
A fantastical adventure movie that's just as bland as Ben Stiller's sweet jacket. A 90 million dollar family friendly motivational poster, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty doesn't really do enough to draw the audience in, starting the movie off by beating you over the head with repetitive scenes with original characters like THE GIRL FROM WORK and WEIRD COMIC RELIEF FRIEND or MEAN JERK. The second half we get away from the boring guy daydreams because he is a loser and we jump into the actual journey, which if you ignore the fact that the wildest thing he does is skateboard, you can get lost in the mid-life crisis, becoming a man, we're takers we take character arc of Stiller's character. Stiller is prettttttty boring, but he has filled the movie with great supporting players (Wiig, Adam Scott, Patton Oswalt, etc) that help add humor to an otherwise Hallmark card-y movie. Still has some chops behind the director's chair, but I wonder how much better this movie could have been without him as the lead character. Also Sean Penn basically plays himself as a photographer instead of an actor. No sense of self-parody whatsoever.

Spoiler Alert: Ben Stiller goes from lil bitch to a man in 2+ hours.
Grade: C

 

[Palooza]

71. Out of the Furnace
Christian Bale, Casey Affleck, Woody Harrelson, Zoe Saldana, Forest Whitaker, Willem Dafoe, Sam Shepard, Boyd Holbrook​

Director(s): Scott Cooper
Writer(s): Scott Cooper, Brad Ingelsby
MPAA Rating: R
Release Date: December 6th
RT Score: 52% (90 fresh, 83 rotten)
The Plot by Palooza:
Comments:
Yikes. What an unfortunate movie this is. It's not bad, but it should be great. An A-list cast, a nice little crime/revenge story. Not entirely sure what went wrong here whether it be my overexposure to movies, the revealing trailers or just an extremely predictable movie in general, but after an intense "this guy is a psycho, got it" scene, the movie slowly rolls down hill into a big pile of shit. The viewer can see the pile of shit from the top of the hill, so there's no reason to roll with it and get lost in the movie. The movie relies too heavily on the actors to use their performance to lift the film, but there's just so little characterization that you don't care. You know Casey Affleck's character is going to die and Bale is going to avenge him. This is an okay thing to make obvious if you kill him early, but he dies at least 2/3 of the way through. Poor storytelling. Crazy Heart was also not a very good movie that was carried by great performances within a cliche story/setting. Scott Cooper, you've been found out the jig is up. He can be next seen directing the Whitey Bulger biopic starring Johnny Depp. That looks to be a disaster.

Spoiler Alert: Bale gets his revenge.
Grade: C

 

[Houston]

Looks like that picture was taken from the set of The Fighter 2.

 

[RyanLeaf16]

Any review for "The Way, Way Back"?

 

[NAHSTE]

Any review for "The Way, Way Back"?

Historically, this thread never makes it to the top 10, so chances are slim.

 

[RyanLeaf16]

Historically, this thread never makes it to the top 10, so chances are slim.

Saw it last night on HBO. Really enjoyed it. Sam Rockwell was great.

 

[Palooza]

70. Riddick
Vin Diesel, Matthew Nable, Jordi Molla, Katee Sackoff, Dave Bautista, Bokeem Woodbine, Raoul Trujillo, Conrad Pla, Nolan Gerard Funk, Keri Hilson, Karl Urban​

Director(s): David Twohy
Writer(s): David Twohy
MPAA Rating: R
Release Date: September 6th
RT Score: 58% (90 fresh, 64 rotten)
The Plot by Palooza: Riddick is exiled to a planet and mercenaries come looking for him. Pitch Black ensues.
Comments:
I really liked Pitch Black and The Chronicles of Riddick is one of those shitty movies that I found a lot of entertainment in for some reason. I like Riddick as a character because it is perfect for Vin Diesel, who I will admit is a pretty likable guy but not much of an actor. He works best with one liners and ass kicking. Toss in some ambiguous/selfish motivations and you have the epitome of Riddick/Vin Diesel's talent. The first hour or so of the movie involves Riddick wandering around making this isolated planet his own, even getting his own alien dog. It goes on a little too long, hammering home the message of Riddick's content with being banished from the Necromongers. However, Riddick still being an international criminal there are hoards of bounty hunters looking for him. Enter the rest of the cast and the rest of the film. The team looking for Riddick is led by Johns (Matthew Nable) the older brother of Johns from Pitch Black looking for revenge. Batista and Jordi Molla give the movie a good amount of those action movie corny one-liners and Katee Sackoff is the Rhada Mitchell knockoff and we know that once they land the movie immediately takes a shift into being a complete rip-off of Pitch Black. The backhalf of this movie is the Pitch Black knock-off sequel nobody wanted. Except for one scene where Riddick manipulates the shit out of the crew into being extremely paranoid about an explosive safe. The ending is abrupt, just like this review.

Spoiler Alert: Dues ex Machina
Grade: C

 

[Palooza]

69. Jack the Giant Slayer
Nicholas Hoult, Eleanor Tomlinson, Ewan McGregor, Stanley Tucci, Ian McShane, Bill Nighy, John Kassir, Eddie Marsan, Ewan Bremner​

Director(s): Bryan Singer
Writer(s): Darren Lemke, Christopher McQuarrie, Dan Studney, David Dobkin
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Release Date: March 1st
RT Score: 52% (100 fresh, 92 rotten)
The Plot by Palooza: Jack trades a horse for some beans, mayhem ensues
Comments:
This one is #69 because that's what Bryan Singer likes to do with twinks. This movie is exceptionally mediocre, typical fairy tale turned big budget actioneer flick. Nothing special, nothing exceptionally terrible. It feels like someone made this in their sleep. Alas, Ewan McGregor, The Tucch and Ian McShane are three mfers who I can get behind. Ewan McGregor's hair stays like that all movie even though he goes underwater multiple times.

Spoiler Alert: Jack slays those giants.
Grade: C

 

[Palooza]

68. The Purge
Ethan Hawke, Lena Headey, Adelaide Kane, Rhys Wakefield, Max Burkholder, Edwin Hodge, Tony Oller, Arija Bareikis, Dana Bunch, Chris Mulkey, Tisha French​

Director(s): James DeMonaco
Writer(s): James DeMonaco
MPAA Rating: R
Release Date: June 7th
RT Score: 38% (50 fresh, 82 rotten)
The Plot by Palooza: One night a year crime is legal. Lock your doors.
Comments:
Spoilers below, read at your own risk. I don't know any character names so bare with me, I'll use actors and descriptive terms.

So the film is set in the future of America where pent up frustrations are allowed to be taken out for 12 hours once a year. This is called the Annual Purge. Ethan Hawke is a fellow who has made a fortune off of this lucrative idea - he sells home security. Rich people can sit back and fap to soap operas while the other classes engage in violent activity, some psychotic, some simply defending themselves. The Hawke family (Mama, Papa, Son, Daughter) lock up their house in their posh neighborhood with stuck up fuckboys for neighbors. Then the Purge begins At the root of the movie, it is a flawed but genius concept. The movie takes the wrong approach to a brilliant idea. Instead of exploring the outside with all the mayhem or anything like that the film takes place entirely within the confines of the home with only a handful or so of psychos to fight off. It begins when dumbass sympathetic son lets in this black dude who is being chased by mfers. The black guy hides in the house (from the nuts and the family) and then the psychos try to break in. The family tries to defend themselves.

The group of Mormon looking murders are pretty badass as they don't really seem to give a shit about anything besides getting their murder fix. They're all prim and proper looking but are wielding axes and committing murder. Something about that really gets my violence juices flowing. However, they eventually get lost in the shuffle, the director unable to balance all the plates he's got going in the air.

I'm not sure how aware of this you guys are but I love Lena Headey. Love. From Queen Gorgo to Former Queen Regent to Mama, I love all her characters, they're all strong (if maybe a little stupid or ruthless in the latter two characters cases) and kick some serious ass when necessary. Here, not so much. She is reserved to the scream queen role here, reacting to all the madness that is going on around her, actively trying to avoid conflict rather than take it head on. This is where the spoilers come in - I really liked how they just killed Ethan Hawke like it was nothing. I really, really, really liked that, but I was seriously hoping for some general badassery from Headey after that and I was seriously disappointed. She does a little bit, sure, but she faces death a handful of times, only to be saved by some 3rd party. That's not the Lena Headey I know. Color me disappoint with her and the movie. The sequel should explore more of the mayhem outside and hopefully act on a good idea turned exercise in meh.

Spoiler Alert: White people are nuts unless you are Lena Headey :wub:
Grade: C

 

[Palooza]

Any review for "The Way, Way Back"?

I loved TWWB, so you'll be waiting a while, unfortunately.

edit - also I will be high as shit, avoiding my family all day so I'll probably waste my day writing these up.

 

[Houston]

It's a bad movie but Imagine Me and You is a must see for any Lena Headey fan. She put some nice moves on Piper Perabo, girl didn't stand a chance....

 

[Glenbino]

I felt like for the first 30 minutes or so that the Purge and Disconnect were solid films with a unique premise. Then it all went off the rails.

 

[LiquidLarry2GhostWF]

The Purge was a huge pile of shit.

 

[Palooza]

67. Only God Forgives
Ryan Gosling, Kristen Scott Thomas, Vithaya Pansringarm, Gordon Brown, Rhatha Phonogam, Tom Burke​

Director(s): Nicholas Winding Refn
Writer(s): Nicholas Winding Refn
MPAA Rating: R
Release Date: July 19th
RT Score: 40% (60 fresh, 90 rotten)
The Plot by Palooza: A drug dealer in Tokyo (Gosling) is hired by his mother to find his brother's murderer who happens to be a karaoke loving cop.
Comments:
Like Refn's Valhalla Rising, this movie depends too heavily on the lead actor's performance within a parabolic Hell. Unlike Valhalla Rising, this has an obnoxious Oedipal structure with Kristen Scott Thomas's overacting and Jodie Foster esque presence. I understand the drive (no pun intended) within Gosling's character but the obsessively allegorical nature of the film is obnoxiously overdone. It looks pretty and it's pretty reckless with the violence, but outside of that the subtext is thrown in your face and you spend too long observing campiness that is disguised as motif. This is a film student's nightmare and without the Drive-like beauty, a nice soundtrack and some swell acting, this movie would be beyond a fucking disaster.

Spoiler Alert: Hell on Earf, sex with ya motha, etc
Grade: C

 

[Warner2BruceTD]

This thread is tits, and in the rich tradition of VSN lists I hope it lasts until 2017 before falling off page one and finishing at #12.

 

[Buzzman]

Ughh. Lets get revenge on your brothers killer because he raped and killed his daughter. Great justice there.

 

[Bane]

MOAR