Article: Palooz Presents: 2013 in Film

[Palooza]

I do the reviews by grade and I thought there were more C's to go, but we're moving on to C+ territory so I gotta prep them all before I write the actual reviews. At least one should be up prior to #thrones.

 

[Palooza]

66. Clear History
Larry David, Danny McBride, Jon Hamm, Philip Baker Hall, Michael Keaton, Bill Hader, Kate Hudson, Eva Mendes, Amy Ryan, J.B. Smoove, Liev Schreiber​

Director(s): Greg Motolla
Writer(s): Larry David, Alec Berg, David Mandel, Jeff Schaffer
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Release Date: released on HBO August 10th
RT Score: 52% (11 fresh, 10 rotten)
The Plot by Palooza: After an embarrassing send off at and up and coming car company, a former ad executive tries to re-invent himself on Martha’s Vineyard, but his past comes back to haunt him.
Comments:
I love Larry David. I was raised by Seinfeld reruns on TV after school. A lot of my college time was spent getting high and marathoning Curb episodes. I can say I am a fan the Larry David brand of awkward, situational humor. This didn’t do it for me. With Curb and Seinfeld you knew everything they were exploring was everyday, plausible stuff. Here, you have to stretch your imagination to accept the circumstances and situations at hand. I couldn’t. Everything seemed too perfect, so perfect that I would have hoped David to even comment on it. Everyone here does a great job, but something just seems off. Nobody really brings their A game, it just seems like David wanted to see if he could get an assortment of great actors/comedians together and see if they could make the laziest movie ever actually be funny. Sure, it works. Sure if that’s what they are trying to accomplish then they did just that. Otherwise, this movie isn’t anything special and is honestly nothing more than a second rate offering from David.

Spoiler Alert: :marty:
Grade: C+

 

[Palooza]

65. Pain & Gain
Mark Wahlberg, Dwayne Johnson, Anthony Mackie, Tony Shaloub, Ed Harris, Rob Corddry, Rebel Wilson, Ken Jeong​

Director(s): Michael Bay
Writer(s): Christopher Markus, Stephen McFeeley. Pete Collins (based on his article)
MPAA Rating: R
Release Date: April 26th
RT Score: 49% (89 fresh, 91 rotten)
The Plot by Palooza: Three bodybuilders kidnap, torture and extort money out of a wealthy client. Mayhem ensues.
Comments:
If there was a competent director involved with this movie, I think it could have been a solid dramedy with strong commentary on the unreasonable expectations dumb people develop from television. However, that's not the case as a stylized movie with delusional and dumb characters are glorified and embarrassingly hypocritical is what we get. The self awareness gets lost somewhere in the shuffle and as the movie progresses it loses any ounce of intelligence and turns into a dumb caper with unsympathetic and retarded characters. Dwayne Johnson is absolutely fantastic as the religious muscle, but it's hard to get invested in his or anyone's cause when everything is played for laughs even though it is blatantly posted as BASED ON A TRUE STORY and everything about these characters is sociopathic and mentally unstable in general. DUMB PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN INFLUENCED BY TV AND MOVIES IN A VIOLENT, SOCIOPATHIC SENSE ARE FUNNY! is not the best approach. There is a correct way to taking the comedic approach to a serious (and ironically/tragically hilarious story) subject and this is certainly not it. Also, Bay's style is so overdone at this point it's a bore.

Spoiler Alert: The main characters are dumb and get what they deserve.
Grade: C+

 

[LiquidLarry2GhostWF]

Dare I say Pain and Gain is the best Michael Bay movie since The Rock?

 

[dell71]

The Purge had lots of potential and did nothing with it.

 

[Palooza]

64. Coffee Town
Glenn Howerton, Ben Schwartz, Steve Little, Adrianne Palicki, Josh Groban, Josh Perry, Kristen Riley​

Director(s): Brad Copeland
Writer(s): Brad Copeland
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Release Date: July 9th
RT Score: n/a (1 fresh, 1 rotten)
The Plot by Palooza: Dennis Reynolds uses a coffee shop as his personal office and when they decide to turn it into a bar, he enlists his two friends (Benny Schwazz & Stevie Janowski) to help him save it.
Comments:
So basically you take the manipulating douchebaggery of Dennis Reynolds and pair him up with the obliviously overconfident Jean Ralphio (as a cop) and perpetually pathetic sidekick Stevie Jankowski and mix them up with the surprisingly great Josh Groban and the always :fap:-worthy Tyra Collette and that's what this is. Hijinks ensue to almost-hilarious results!

This movie surprised the shit out of me, it has a lot of laughs and a smooth, if too easy of a storyline. This isn't anything groundbreaking, but the laughs are there so it's worth checking out. IF you are fans of the above characters, you should have a fine time with this one.

Spoiler Alert:
Grade: C+

 

[NAHSTE]

64. Coffee Town
Glenn Howerton, Ben Schwartz, Steve Little, Adrianne Palicki, Josh Groban, Josh Perry, Kristen Riley​

Director(s): Brad Copeland
Writer(s): Brad Copeland
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Release Date: July 9th
RT Score: n/a (1 fresh, 1 rotten)
The Plot by Palooza: Dennis Reynolds uses a coffee shop as his personal office and when they decide to turn it into a bar, he enlists his two friends (Benny Schwazz & Stevie Janowski) to help him save it.
Comments:
So basically you take the manipulating douchebaggery of Dennis Reynolds and pair him up with the obliviously overconfident Jean Ralphio (as a cop) and perpetually pathetic sidekick Stevie Jankowski and mix them up with the surprisingly great Josh Groban and the always :fap:-worthy Tyra Collette and that's what this is. Hijinks ensue to almost-hilarious results!

This movie surprised the shit out of me, it has a lot of laughs and a smooth, if too easy of a storyline. This isn't anything groundbreaking, but the laughs are there so it's worth checking out. IF you are fans of the above characters, you should have a fine time with this one.

Spoiler Alert:
Grade: C+

Was unaware of. Will check out. Thx for the honest review.

 

[NAHSTE]

Clear History was straight up booty juice, by the way.

 

[Palooza]

Clear History was straight up booty juice, by the way.

It felt so lazy. I would have preferred more Curb episodes by 1 million miles.

 

[Palooza]

63. C.O.G.
Jonathan Groff, Denis O’Hare, Casey Wilson, Dean Stockwell, Dale Dickey, Troian Bellisario, Corey Stoll​

Director(s): Kyle Patrick Alvarez
Writer(s): Kyle Patrick Alvarez. David Sedaris (based on his essay)
MPAA Rating: R
Release Date: September 20th
RT Score: 70% (23 fresh, 10 rotten)
The Plot by Palooza: A recent Yale grad (Jonathan Groff) has a series of interesting experiences as he attempts to experience the "real world" Awkward and pretty funny mayhem ensues.
Comments:
I have a hard time remember anything from this movie besides Corey Stoll's ridiculous dildo collection.

Spoiler Alert: I don't especially remember.
Grade: C+

 

[Palooza]

62. What Maisie Knew
Julianne Moore, Steve Coogan, Onata Aprile, Alexander Skarsgard, Joanna Vanderham​

Director(s): Scott McGehee, David Siegel
Writer(s): Nancy Doyne, Carroll Cartwright. Henry James (based on his novel)
MPAA Rating: R
Release Date: May 3rd
RT Score: 87% (90 fresh, 13 rotten)
The Plot by Palooza: The painful tug of war between equally deadbeat, divorcing parents as seen through the eyes of their daughter Maisie.
Comments:
From what I've read this an adaptation of an 1897 novel of the same title, updated for the modern times. Unfortunately I have not read the book so I cannot comment on that, but the movie sure is fucking depressing. Two deadbeat parents - one a rich, adulterous, workaholic (Steve Coogan) and an irresponsible, selfish and unstable rock 'star' (Julianne Moore) are in a perpetual tug of war, using their child as an object to fuck with the other during their divorce. Neither truly care about the kid until the other one shows that they do. It's a sad display of selfishness and it's soul crushing to watch it all from little Maisie's lens. The two most fitting and competent, loving characters are the new significant others for the divorced couple - the former au pair and now #1 girl of the week (Joanna Vanderhaim) and a dumb, but lovable musician. Like the tug of war between the parents, the film tugs at your emotions, gearing you toward the want and need for a happy ending for Maisie, but also knowing it's too perfect and can't happen. There is a glimmer of hope where the two get together with Maisie and you are hopeful they would just runaway with her, but alas it does not. You know these two will have a lasting affect on her, but you also know that her piece of shit parents are going to be the biggest talking point during her therapy sessions.

Spoiler Alert: :misogi:
Grade: C+

 

[Palooza]

61. Blue Jasmine
Cate Blanchett, Sally Hawkins, Bobby Cannavale, Louis CK, Alec Baldwin, Andrew Dice Clay, Peter Sarsgaard, Michael Stuhlberg, Tammy Blanchard, Max Casella, Aiden Ehrenreich ​

Director(s): Woody Allen
Writer(s): Woody Allen
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Release Date: July 26th
RT Score: 91% (178 fresh, 17 rotten)
Oscars: Best Actress (Cate Blanchett)
The Plot by Palooza: The film jumps between the present - where Jasmine (Cate Blanchett) falls on hard times and moves in with her sister (Sally Hawkins), creating unrest between she and her boyfriend (Bobby Cannavale) - and the past where Jasmine lives a posh lifestyle with her shady businessman of a husband (Alec Baldwin).
Comments:
I don't care for Woody Allen. All of his movies are the same. Randomly he'll have a movie that is different enough that I will suck it up and check it out. So far those movies have been Midnight in Paris and this. Here, we don't have a fun, clever concept, we get the typical Woody Allen relationship/life dramedy, but the inclusion of himself or a stand-in, weakest portion of his formula, has been completely erased. Here, we let a bunch of real actors and Andrew Dice Clay chew up Woody Allen's great script. Watching Blanchett's Jasmine descend into madness as we reflect on her posh life is a beautiful tragedy. With few other people able to balance the character rather than go completely over the top with it is a trait only few actresses like Blanchett could do. Outside of Blanchett, Cannavale and Hawkins are the best parts and Allen knows this, giving them a lot of screen time. One of the better outputs from Allen from over the past few years, but still nothing special outside of some great performances and a tight script. If you like Woody Allen AND pretty good movies you should at least somewhat enjoy this.

Spoiler Alert: MADNESS
Grade: C+

 

[Houston]

All of his movies are the same. Randomly he'll have a movie that is different enough that I will suck it up and check it out. So far those movies have been Midnight in Paris and this.

:ukiddingme:

 

[Palooza]

Herp de derp I'm an awkward jew look what kind of mess I've got myself into.

 

[Palooza]

anti-social black kid who loves anime is a Woody Allen fan color me surprised.

 

[Houston]

Easily a top 5 writer of all time, and still adding quality stuff to his resume.

 

[Palooza]

wow this is a gr8 thread, I hope it never ends. :acid:

 

[Buzzman]

Interesting to see that you watched 121 films last year while I watched 116, yet I haven't seen 31 of the movies you've ranked so far and only 7 of your honorable mentions.

 

[Glenbino]

Interesting to see that you watched 121 films last year while I watched 116, yet I haven't seen 31 of the movies you've ranked so far and only 7 of your honorable mentions.

We don't count SyFY

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[Buzzman]

We don't count SyFY

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Do those really count?