Catching Controversy | The Legend of Ethan Woy

[Lumpkin]

"I think you said, 'punch me in the fucking face.'"

Epic. So much win in this quote. Now that's the Ethan Woy I know and love, kicking ass and taking names.

 

[DoubleDeuce]

Another GOAT update by the Woyster.

Wonder how Greggie knew 'bout Britt.

 

[packersfan4eva]

great update. i wonder what's gonna happen when britt and rebecca find out about eachother. that'll be the best update you've ever done

 

[Woy]

I'm the 1,112 reply! Sweet!

Anyways. Good shit as always Ethan.

Thank you Josh.

"Actually Jimmy Clausen is".

High comedy.

It's the truth, he has 17 to Paulus's 15.

haha, nice update man.

Thanks Sam.

Lol at Clausen leading in picks.

Like I said above, it's the truth. It might happen in real life as well.

Epic. So much win in this quote. Now that's the Ethan Woy I know and love, kicking ass and taking names.

Thanks Lumpkin, Woy doesn't back down to anyone.

Another GOAT update by the Woyster.

Wonder how Greggie knew 'bout Britt.

I wonder, hmm.

What happened to Rebecca?

also, great update.

Don't think I forgot about her.

great update. i wonder what's gonna happen when britt and rebecca find out about eachother. that'll be the best update you've ever done

You mean Britt and Melyssa? And thanks.

I loved the part where you hit Greg. I was a bit finished when you didn't finish the job

And by 'finish the job', I mean take his ass to the ground and beat him until he crys.

Would have gotten in too much trouble, lol.


I'll try to update tomorrow.

 

[Woy]

E shoulda gone MMA on his ass!

Anywhere else but practice, I would have.

You say he would have gotten into much trouble, but do you really think they'd not play him just because he "decked" a dukie? Everybody knows that Paulus just flopped

Haha, that is true.

Shit just got srs. I'm glad you fucked him up. At least Clausen isn't the QB.

Greg Paulus and Jimmy Clausen are both teh fail.

I would have knocked Paulus out too.. you suck at Duke and he wants to come back and play football for the 'Cuse.. what a bitch.

Yeah, doesn't look bright for the Orange this season.


I'm working on an update now.

 

[Woy]

Strike One

at

West Virginia Mountaineers (2-2) at Syracuse Orange (2-3)

Woy's Word
The battle for the Schwartzwalder trophy brought a whole new meaning to the Carrier Dome's nickname, "The Loud House." Despite both teams being at and below .500, fans packed the dome to see some of the Big East's biggest stars play in their annual rivalry game.

Coach named me a captain for this one as myself and Delone walked out to meet with Mountaineer captains Noel Devine and Jarrett Brown. Some friendly trashtalk enused as we won the coin toss. I chose to kick the ball off and we made our way off the field as the kickoff team went on.

The first drive was hell for our defense. Jarrett Brown looked like Pat White out there, pitching and keeping the ball on option plays to perfection. Noel got some carries as well, and they ended up driving down the field in seven plays before Deion Sanders' godson was in the endzone, making it 7-0 WVU.

Greg hit Mike on our first play, then Delone got the bulk of the load. Five yards to the left, seven to the right, and eight up the middle brought us to mid-field when the drive stalled. However, Brown couldn't get any offense going for the visitors as they punted the ball back to us.

The corner covering me wasn't the greatest I've played against, and I got open a lot. However, Greg didn't even look my way once during the first quarter and instead forced passes to Mike. That, in turn, added another interception to Greg's stats and a number of knockdowns for the Mountaineers secondary.

I could tell that Greg was still upset about the whole fight Thursday afternoon, but that couldn't get in the way of winning this game. When the horn sounded signaling the end of the first quarter, I made my way over to the sideline. Greg was on the bench talking to the coaches upstairs about the defensive looks, when I hung up the phone and grabbed the neck of his shirt.

...

"What the fuck are you doing out there!?"

"What does it look like I'm doing..."

"Avoiding me and throwing even more interceptions..."

"Now don't start ag..."

"...I know we don't get along, but seriously, forget what happened Thursday. We're here to win this game, and I don't want you sacrificing that over some stupid argument."

"You punched me..."

"That's because you don't bring up my personal life. What I do off the field is none of your buisness, right?"

"Yeah I guess so."

"Good. Now one more question."

"Hurry up, it's fourth down for them right now."

"Check your crotch."

"What!?"

"Do it."

"Okay, what's that about?"

"You got balls?"

"Yes..."

"Well it doesn't seem like it out there. Play balls to the wall and let's get this win."

...

The second quarter was all ours. Paulus started looking my way in the first drive, hitting me four times to get the team into the redzone. From there, it was all Delone, running through Mountaineer defenders to a touchdown. The rest of the half wasn't exciting and the game was tied at seven going into halftime.

Every drive in the third quarter was promising but it ended up in either a punt or turnover. From there, West Virginia got two field goals in the fourth quarter to make it 13-7. But just like last week against South Florida, we started driving near the end of the game.

...

"Paulus hits Woy for 12!"

"Delone Carter up the middle for 11!"

"Paulus will keep it himself for a first down!"

...

With ten seconds left, we were 15 yards out of the endzone with two shots to score. Greg had me split out by myself on the right in single coverage and gave the signal to run a fade. I smirked as he called out the cadence.

...

"Paulus takes the snap, pump-fakes left, has Woy in single coverage on the right...and overthrows him! Incomplete, tough break for the 'Cuse. They'll have one more shot to score, it looks like."

...

Paulus patted me on the back, blaming himself for the missed opportunity. I just shook my head and made my way back to the huddle. Greg called another play with me split out by myself on the right, hoping to get single coverage again.

...

"Trips left, Woy split out to the right. Looks like double coverage on him...and here's the snap! Paulus stares down Woy, and fires..."

...

"Catch it, catch it Ethan..."

...

"...it's in his hands..."

...

"Bring it down, come on!"

...

"...and oh no! The hit caused Woy to drop it, another tough loss for Syracuse. The final score from the Carrier Dome is West Virginia 13, Syracuse 7."

...

As the young freshman lays face down to the ground, crushed about blowing the game, a cell phone starts to vibrate in the home locker room.

"Strike one."

West Virginia 13
Syracuse 7

9 catches, 122 yards

 

[Argath]

they see me rolllinnn, they hattinnn

 

[Argath]

oh damn, That one catch was all you needed. Damn that sucks.

 

[DoubleDeuce]

Greg Paulus>Ethan Woy

 

[Yawkey Way]

76 PAGES OF AN EJACULATION.

 

[packersfan4eva]

Greg Paulus>Ethan Woy

that would be a groaned post if we still had them.

tough loss woy, i wonder what happens at 3 strikes. but what kinda goals did woy have? 9 catches for 122 yards seems pretty good to me

 

[Woy]

they see me rolllinnn, they hattinnn

THEY TRYING TO CATCH ME RIDIN' DIRTY.

oh damn, That one catch was all you needed. Damn that sucks.

Yeah, and it was the game deciding one too. It frustrating in RTG mode how if you get hit while in the air, it's 95% of the time a drop - no matter how good your catch rating is.

I'm pretty much speechless right now. First you complain when you don't get the ball then you get it and you fucking drop it. But let's consider that fact that you were wide open before.

At least Greg didn't fuck up and get you your first strike. You gotta step your game up a bit now Ethan.

Correct sir. Woy's gotta beast again.

Greg Paulus>Ethan Woy

:jonesy:

good shit woy

Thank you.

"Check your crotch."

"What!?"

"Do it."

"Okay, what's that about?"

"You got balls?"

"Yes..."






lulz, great job Ethan

Figured I'd get some lulz from that line.

76 PAGES OF AN EJACULATION.

<3 you Yawk.

that would be a groaned post if we still had them.

tough loss woy, i wonder what happens at 3 strikes. but what kinda goals did woy have? 9 catches for 122 yards seems pretty good to me

Eh, the thing that pissed off Rodney was the dropping of the touchdown.



I'm going to lift in ten minutes, then I'll be back for a little bit. I'm probably going out tonight, so no updates until possibly 1. However, you want to be here for the next update. Easily going to be the best I written and the next one after that should be even better. I'm going with a different point of view (sort of) in this next update, and it shall be epic. Stay tuned.

 

[DoubleDeuce]

 

Ethan quits football and starts playing tennis.

 

[Lumpkin]

damn 9rec 112 yards and you still got strike one!! those must have been some pretty lofty expectations

 

[Apocalypse]

interesting..

 

[Woy]

Anyone ready for an epic update?

 

[DoubleDeuce]

I'm very ready. Don't disappoint

 

[Woy]

Rock Bottom (Part 1)

The once praised savior of the Syracuse program is now the university's goat. Fans are speechless after the sudden turn of events. As number 15 gets up slowly from his embarrassment and depression, Noel Devine walks by the fallen superstar, carrying a large object.

"Thanks for the drop Woy. Want a picture of the Schwartzwalder trophy by the way? This would be your only opportunity, cause we all know you're not going to beat us in your career."

Number 15 shook his head and finally got up from his depressed state. Head down, he walked slowly into the tunnel, feeling holes being burned into his back from the stares of disappointed fans. Some made it worse, by shouting obscenities and booing loudly. Finally, he found a little relief by making his way into the locker room.

The looks on his teammates' faces were priceless. They looked almost as disappointed as the fans did. Number 15 made his way to his locker, ignoring the encouraging words from tailback Delone Carter and the team's other seniors. Quickly throwing off his pads, he got in the shower to wash the failure of him, before making his way out to his car.

His phone was vibrating constantly, signaling the many text messages he was receiving. The first one was the text he expected from the business - "strike one." Scrolling through all the "you'll get 'em next time" and "keep your head up" texts, he came across one that startled him.

"Hey. We need to talk."

The number was vaguely familiar and he finally realized who it was, despite his depression - Melyssa. Because of the baby arriving around four to five months, she made it clear that she didn't want to be in a situation that would cause damage to the unborn life.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------​

"Well I was pregnant..."

...

"Well, where's the baby?"

"Where's the baby? I didn't have the time for a fucking child! I got an abortion and had to work two jobs just to pay off the damn thing! And it's not even completely paid off yet! Now I've lost both of my jobs because I got into very vicious arguments with customers from all the stress that has been put on me, and the last thing I need in my life is you. I've gotten a new boyfriend who actually will support me and be there for me for whatever."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------​

This got our superstar even more "down in the dumps" as some say, because it flashed him back to a time where he made the wrong decision - killing an unborn child. Although technically it wasn't him that made the decision, he still kicks himself and regrets the situation every day. Chills went through his spine as the flashbacks played through his mind.

The tinted windows on his Pontiac made it clear that he did not want to be associated with at this time. Driving out to Melyssa's house, he turned on his iPod and hooked it up to the stereo. The first song that played on shuffle was irony at its finest.

"...that's rock bottom. When this life makes you mad enough to kill, that's rock bottom. When you want something bad enough to steal, that's rock bottom. When you feel you have had it up to here cause you mad enough to scream but you sad enough to tear, that's rock bottom..."

Finally arriving at the apartment just off of campus, he took a deep breath and gathered his thoughts. "Is this relationship in jeopardy? Did she find out about the tutoring visits with Britt? Is the baby okay?" So many questions, and so many answers - the reason why he was there would be revealed as soon as he opened the door.

She seemed alright, as her smile put a little grin on the fallen superstar's face. She gave him a kiss, and her own words of encouragement. As they both sat down on the coach, she turned to him and opened her mouth - revealing why she wanted him here so soon.

"I'm..."

 

[goDawgs1433]

...not pregnant and in love with you? Ready to get pregnant?

 

[Apocalypse]

Wow.

WOW.