Dell's Good, Bad & Ugly Movie Reviews

[NAHSTE]

Nice review, Dell. I think we've discussed this before, but you can really tell the budget was tighter for the sequels. Have you seen the third installment yet? Curious to see which you like better, I prefer Hornet's Nest, FWIW.

[dell71]

Haven't seen Hornet's Nest just yet.

[dell71]

This is the time of year when everyone tells you what they think are the best movies of the year. I'll do the same, later. When I was about to give you my two cents on 2010, I remembered I haven't told you what I thought were the best films of 2009. Here's the long and short of it (* denotes foreign language movies):

25. Moon
24. The Secret in their Eyes*
23. A Serious Man
22. The Lovely Bones
21. Sin Nombre*

20. District 9
19. World's Greatest Dad
18. Paranormal Activity
17. Broken Embraces*
16. In the Loop
15. Up in the Air
14. Good Hair
13. Brothers
12. Big Fan
11. Thirst*

10. Zombieland
9. The Hangover
8. Drag Me to Hell
7. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo*
6. The Messenger
5. Inglourious Basterds
4. Sugar
3. Up
2. Precious based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire
1. The Hurt Locker



On the flipside...

The Worst of 2009:

10. Underworld: Rise of the Lycans
9. Jennifer's Body
8. 2012
7. The Collector
6. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
5. The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day
4. Alvin & the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel
3. G-Force
2. Year One
1. Miss March


Finally, way on the other side...

The Most "So Bad They're Awesome!" (no rankings, here):

Blood: The Last Vampire
Blood and Bone
Crank: High Voltage
Ninja Assassin
Obsessed
The Stepfather
The Tournament

[tigstah]

This is the time of year when everyone tells you what they think are the best movies of the year. I'll do the same, later. When I was about to give you my two cents on 2010, I remembered I haven't told you what I thought were the best films of 2009. Here's the long and short of it (* denotes foreign language movies):

25. Moon
24. The Secret in their Eyes*
23. A Serious Man
22. The Lovely Bones
21. Sin Nombre*

20. District 9
19. World's Greatest Dad
18. Paranormal Activity
17. Broken Embraces*
16. In the Loop
15. Up in the Air
14. Good Hair
13. Brothers
12. Big Fan
11. Thirst*

10. Zombieland
9. The Hangover
8. Drag Me to Hell
7. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo*
6. The Messenger
5. Inglourious Basterds
4. Sugar
3. Up
2. Precious based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire
1. The Hurt Locker



On the flipside...

The Worst of 2009:

10. Underworld: Rise of the Lycans
9. Jennifer's Body
8. 2012
7. The Collector
6. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
5. The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day
4. Alvin & the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel
3. G-Force
2. Year One
1. Miss March


Finally, way on the other side...

The Most "So Bad They're Awesome!" (no rankings, here):

Blood: The Last Vampire
Blood and Bone
Crank: High Voltage
Ninja Assassin
Obsessed
The Stepfather
The Tournament

i remember the stepfather.....odd movie. the stepfather was crazy

[Buzzman]

Looking at your list reminds me that 2010 has been a far superior year.

[dell71]

Looking at your list reminds me that 2010 has been a far superior year.

I've got lots left to see from 2010, so the verdict's still out for me.

[dell71]

...so far...

As stated, yesterday, I'm here to give my list of the best movies of 2010. I have a problem, though. I've only seen about a third of the year's movies that I plan on seeing. To that end, consider this the best of 2010, so far. At some point in 2011, I'll come up with a finalized list, but for now these are the best I've seen from this year:

10. Iron Man 2
9. The Karate Kid
8. Salt
7. How to Train Your Dragon
6. The Book of Eli
5. Shutter Island
4. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
3. Kick-Ass
2. Toy Story 3
1. Inception


Hmmm...I can assure you that should I live at least a few more months like I plan to, those bottom 3 will certainly not make my final top 10. Honestly, I can easily foresee those last 5 entries dropping out. Lots of stuff I haven't seen, yet so don't this list too harshly.

[Buzzman]

I had no doubt Inception would be your #1.

[St. Francisco]

Put Ink on your list Dell, I'd like to see your review of it.

[dell71]

Put Ink on your list Dell, I'd like to see your review of it.

To be honest, haven't heard of that one. I'll be sure to check it out.

[dell71]

Pick-Up
Directed by Bernard Hirschenson.
1975. Rated R, 80 minutes.
Cast:
Jill Senter
Gini Eastwood
Alan Long
Tom Quinn
Bess Douglass
John Winter
Don Penny

When our story begins we get a closeup of some guy’s face as he takes a leak on the side of a bus. Umm…okaaay. Not too far off the side of the road, a couple of young ladies are sitting amongst the weeds watching the action. The blonde makes googly eyes at him, immediately convincing him to give these two random babes a lift wherever they want to go. She can’t get there fast enough, but the brunette is hesitant. You see, the brunette is an Aries. Apparently, all people born under that sign have psychic abilities. At least, that’s what she says. Anyhoo, her spider sense or something kicks in and with a rather blank look on her face that we’ll become far too familiar with, she says “It’s gonna be a bad trip.” Little did I know at this point, she is talking about our experience watching this crap. Thinking she means something bad, possibly gruesome and hopefully interesting is about to happen, I keep watching.

Once on board, we find out the bus is actually a 1970s style mobile home. It looks pretty spiffy on the inside. This thing must’ve eaten up a large chunk of the budget, but I digress. The brunette continues to be sour puss and has numerous flashbacks to her painful childhood, during which she appears fully grown, by the way. This must be contagious because eventually, the other two start having flashbacks, too. No to be outdone by a couple of non-Aries, the brunette also has all sorts of strange visions (hallucinations?). She conjures up a random Black woman dressed in an all-white flowing robe whispering very loudly in her best ominous voice. There is also the even more random and bizarre clown that chases her through the woods. Finally, there’s an even-more-random-than-the-clown concrete slab in the middle of said woods. The brunette wanders upon that, wearing only the robe she must have borrowed from the Black woman. She quickly strips that off and psychicly pleasures herself. What? You think I’m kidding? I wish.

Speaking of getting naked, that’s what the other two knuckleheads do best. Well, they have a lot of sex, too. They go for walks, take off their clothes, frolic in the grass, or water, ride a swing together and do the wild thing. They also laugh the whole time, unless they’re kissing or on those less than thrilling occasions one of their brains forms a sentence and forces them to speak. However, just so you don’t go thinking the blonde is having all the fun, or doubt our guy’s studliness, the brunette eventually comes around and he screws her, too. In fact, that’s the turning point of our movie. It precedes a very strange ending that makes about as much sense as inviting Hitler to a bar mitzvah.

The sad part is while we’re watching this, we get the sense the director is striving to create something deep, meaningful and artistically sexy. Unfortunately, we can also tell he doesn’t have anything even remotely resembling the ability to turn that particular trick. Just making it coherent is a task he fails miserably. What he’s given us is soft-core porn at its very weirdest.

MY SCORE: 0/10

[dell71]

Shrek Forever After
Directed by Mike Mitchell.
2010. Rated PG, 93 minutes.
Cast:
Mike Myers
Cameron Diaz
Eddie Murphy
Antonio Banderas
Walt Dorhn
Jane Lynch
Craig Robinson
Julie Andrews
John Cleese
Jon Hamm

Shrek (Myers) is struggling with the monotony of family life, and the loss of privacy brought on by the celebrity his adventures have earned him. He longs for the days when he was a single, and feared, ogre, free to take a mud bath in peace. This leads him to sign a deal with Rumplestilskin (Dohrn) for just one day to enjoy as the monster he once was. If you’ve paid any attention to the first three movies in the series, you know things in Far Far Away are never quite so easy. Needless to say, the deal comes with plenty of strings attached. Suffice it to say that Shrek once again finds himself trying to find true love’s kiss.

In keeping with the direction the franchise has taken, this fourth installment is a more straight-forward adventure than the ruthless deconstruction of the fairy-tale that was the original. Here, Shrek finds himself in an alternate reality and Fiona to be the leader of “the resistance” against the rule of Rumplestilskin. There’s lots of swashbuckling and Shrek trying to convince everyone that what he’s saying is true. There are lots of references to the original movie, but like I said not as much of that same style of humor. There is some, such as when we first meet The Pied Piper. When it goes down that road is when it is most successful. That said, there are other moments that work quite well.

Forever After suffers from predictability and constantly using the original as a crutch. It also gives its action scenes more responsibility. The franchise is at its best when the action supplements the humor. This movie has it reversed, the humor only supplements the action, and it is less intriguing because of it. However, its still a fun ride that for all its flaws, is a step up from the lackluster Shrek the Third.

MY SCORE: 6.5/10

[dell71]

The A-Team
Directed by Joe Carnahan.
2010. Rated PG-13, 117 minutes.
Cast:
Liam Neeson
Bradley Cooper
Jessica Biel
Quinton “Rampage” Jackson
Sharlto Copley
Patrick Wilson
Gerald McRaney
Brian Bloom
Henry Czerny

Overkill is underrated. That phrase is used in the trailer for The A-Team and somewhere along the way our fearless leader, Col. Hannibal Smith (Neeson) actually does utter these words. This movie treats that statement like a plague to be cured. Nothing is done that isn’t overdone. Another line of dialogue helps ease us into suspending our belief. Cpt. Sosa (Biel), hot on the trails of our heroes, tells her own team that these guys “specialize in the ridiculous.” This flick knows its just dumb fun, and makes sure you do, too.

If you have any knowledge of and/or recollection of the 1980s then you know this movie is based on the television series of the same name. For you youngsters that only see him in commercials, or know of him through his Chuck Norris styled “facts”, that series, along with Rocky III is the reason Mr. T is famous. From its first episode, it told us these guys were fugitives from the law based on a crime they didn’t commit. While fleeing the government and trying to gather information to clear their names, they were hired by the good citizens of Anytown, USA to take on the local bad guys. The movie is a prequel to this. It examines how our boys found themselves in that predicament. Honestly, going this route is a wise decision. We get the origin story we never really got from the series.

Even if this is all a bit goofy, and wholly unrealistic, it’s a fun, brainless adventure. As brainlessness goes, this is top notch. There’s plenty of narrow escapes, elaborate plans and pure zaniness, a lot like its source material. Much of this formula’s success hinges on the work of Liam Neeson as Hannibal. As was the case with Taken, his booming voice and unshakeable swagger elevates the material he’s given to work with. He’s helped most in this department by Bradley Cooper as Face. Sharlto Copley is adequate as Murdoch. The only suspect performance is turned in by MMA fighter Quinton “Rampage” Jackson as B. A. Baracus. The problem is his Mr. T impersonation comes and goes. Either do it, or don’t. That said, I was hoping to hear him use Mr. T’s iconic catch-phrase “I pity the fool”, but I don’t remember him using it. However, this version of Baracus forgoes all the gold chains and instead rocks a tat on his left hand that reads “pity” while one on his right reads “fool.” I guess that covers it.

Overall, The A-Team is a popcorn flick with no pretentions of being otherwise. This enables us to enjoy it even as it revels in its own stupidity. Of course, for some it will just be entirely too dumb. Once again, it knows this and doesn’t mind one bit.

MY SCORE: 7/10

[Primetime]

Really enjoyed The A-Team myself. I wasn't looking for excellent screen play and amazing acting and I got just what I wanted from it. It's zany, funny, action-packed, and relative to the series. 7-8/10 for me too.

[Primetime]

BTW, please watch and review The Social Network as soon as possible. It will be worth your time.