Buttered Popcorn: Buzzmans Movie Review Thread

[Houston]

I can't see myself being down with 2011 till around the beginning of February. My awards will just have to be on hold till then:shifty:

 

[Buzzman]

The Devil Inside (2012)

In 1989, emergency responders received a 9-1-1 call from Maria Rossi (Suzan Crowley) confessing that she had brutally killed three people. 20 years later, her daughter Isabella (Fernanda Andrade) seeks to understand the truth about what happened that night. She travels to the Centrino Hospital for the Criminally Insane in Italy where her mother has been locked away to determine if her mother is mentally ill or demonically possessed. When she recruits two young exorcists (Simon Quarterman and Evan Helmuth) to cure her mom using unconventional methods combining both science and religion, they come face-to-face with pure evil in the form of four powerful demons possessing Maria. Many have been possessed by one; only one has been possessed by many.

This found footage appeal has officially overstayed its welcome; specifically in the horror genre. It has reached a point to where the entire plot and character paths can be mapped out and predicted almost to a tee in where and how the film will come to a conclusion. As a matter of fact, every one of these films don’t even give you a conclusion; they just abruptly end the film in a lazy attempt to maintain its “real” events bullshit. That’s a giant copout that only really benefits the studio behind the film, where they can just say the answers will come in the inevitable sequel that goes more into the background of the “demonic” possession. The Devil Inside does all of that, providing the spitting image of how repetitive found footage films have become.

If you’ve seen the films trailer, then you’ll have seen just about any amounts of terror the film has to show. Clocking in at just 87 minutes, the film wastes way too much time explaining information to you about the characters motives and thoughts. I’d say it takes them almost 45 minutes to even show the possessed mother, Maria Rossi. That’s the other aspect where the film cheated the audience. In the trailer, the mother is the focus; she gets the most screen time, is given the best moments, and appears to be the star, but she seems to barely be in the film. Nothing is shown what might’ve caused her to become possessed, what happened to her during her hospital stay, and what became of her. The film pulled a complete bait and switch. If the goal was to bore the shit out of you then mission accomplished.

One would think with the overwhelming negative reviews that this could wind up putting a dent in the stoppage of these films, but they came too late. Every stupid schmuck decided to go check it out that opening Friday and it will probably be one of the most profitable films based off just this one weekend where it made 34x its budget. With its success, the genre will surely be back stronger than before with even more copycats, but hopefully the audience learns to not be so foolish. This is the exact type of film that should have come and gone without a spec of interest. It is already a candidate for one of the worst films of 2012 and it’s the only release so far. That’s not the type of year I expect 2012 to be, but what can you honestly expect from a January release, where only generally terrible films come out.

Overall Score: 2/10

 

[Buzzman]

Buzzmans 2012 Movie Rankings

1. Your Sister's Sister
2. The Avengers
3. Magic Mike
4. The Dark Knight Rises
5. Prometheus
6. 21 Jump Street
7. The Amazing Spiderman
8. Sound of My Voice
9. The Bourne Legacy
10. Jeff Who Lives At Home
11. Chronicle
12. John Carter
13. Perfect Sense
14. The Raid: Redemption
15. The Grey
16. Cabin in the Woods
17. The Hunger Games
18. Goon
19. Contraband
20. Safe House
21. American Reunion
22. Silent House
23. Friends With Kids
24. The Vow
25. Lockout
26. Project X
27. The Lorax
28. Journey 2: The Mysterious Island
29. The Woman in Black
30. Brave
31. Man on a Ledge
32. This Means War
33. ATM
34. The Devil Inside
35. Wanderlust
36. Wrath of the Titans
37. Gone
38. Ghost Rider 2: Spirit of Vengenece

 

[Buzzman]

Friends With Kids (2012)

Two best friends (Adam Scott and Jennifer Westfeldt) decide to have a child together while keeping their relationship platonic, so they can avoid the toll kids can take on romantic relationships.

Friends with Kids is a romantic dramady that mixes the two elements well enough to overcome some of its ordinaries developments that come with the territory of the films genre. It can be a fun, sometimes jumpy film that could wind up being a minor hit if marketed and released in the correct spot.

The film begins with two characters, Jason and Julie, hanging out with their two other couple friends that quickly flashes forward to the two couples having kids. The things Jason and Julie see the kids bring to their friends make them want to have kids themselves, but they don’t want to have to fall in love in order to have one because it would be a nuisance to them. Lo and behold one drunken night, they whip up a plan to have a baby together without actually being together. It doesn’t wind up being as stupid as it sounds. The two sides are portrayed equally throughout the pregnancy and the child’s life without ever showing of the characters in a bad manner. For a while it looks like this could work. It allows the film to have fun with the consequences this has on their friends who both take it very differently, and creates both harsh and warm tones on the subject of marriage. It’s one of the few romantic movies that just shove cliché messages in your face. When the film steps away from the light-hearted moments and in truths, it feels raw, brutal, and real. The idea they came up with doesn’t seem so perfect anymore and things get into the way. Its cliché and predictable, but never manages to lose your attention.

Adam Scott as the lead Jason is a complete dick at times, sentimental at others, and it speaks volumes to his charm that you still manages to love his character the whole time through. His baby-mama/best friend is the one you need to worry about. She doesn’t do much wrong, but she has such an unlikeable aroma around her and takes away screen time from the awesome Adam Scott, you might resent her enough to hate half the movie. Their friends are made up of loveable faces from the small screen variety. Kristen Wigg and Jon Hamm provide a couple far apart from their Bridesmaids time, which is either a good or bad thing for you while the other couple is made up of Maya Rudolph and Chris O'Dowd, who are the ones that gives you hope that marriage can work out for the best. The two couples are mirror opposites of each other and do a good job keeping the film moving along.

Friends with Kids is nothing spectacular, but it’s a very solid, very nice film that you’ll just love if you fall into the Adam Scott fanboy variety. It’s just always nice to see him get an opportunity to be the leading man for once because he is such an awesome guy. Apart from him though it does provide more than a few laughs, and even more awkward moments (not in a bad way) that feel a bit of place in this weird zany film. I don’t know exactly when this drops in 2012 but I know it will fall sometime, most likely around March or April, be sure to give it a shot.

Overall Score: 5.5/10

 

[Palooza]

Adam Scott you say? I'm in.

 

[Rivers17ncsu]

I never even heard of Friends With Kids til now

 

[wingsfan77]

Adam Scott you say? I'm in.

Exactly what I was about to post.

 

[dell71]

We Bought A Zoo (2011)

I so cannot get excited about this movie. The cheese just drips from the commercial. To make matters worse my daughters are like "Ooh ooh, let's see that!" Anything they're excited about seeing gets my spider-sense tingling.

I never even heard of Friends With Kids til now

Ditto.

 

[Rivers17ncsu]

Have you seen the movie The Guard? I've seen people say it was funny, but I'm hestitant to rent it at the moment since I got some other 2011 movies I still need to see ahead of that along with Instant Que stuff & new movies coming out soon. Who knows I still may rent it, I usually like movies I've seen with Don Cheadle

 

[Buzzman]

Heres the trailer they just put out to that Adam Scott movie, Friends With Kids

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0cYheYIT4o"]Friends With Kids Official Trailer #1 - Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph, Jon Hamm Movie (2012) HD - YouTube[/ame]

 

[Buzzman]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=kctOpTQtyUg

They finally released a trailer for it.

 

[Buzzman]

The Skin I Live In (2011)

*This is filmed in Spanish with English subtitles.

Ever since his wife was burned in a car crash, Dr. Robert Ledgard, an eminent plastic surgeon, has been interested in creating a new skin with which he could have saved her. After twelve years, he manages to cultivate a skin that is a real shield against every assault. In addition to years of study and experimentation, Robert needed a further three things: no scruples, an accomplice and a human guinea pig. Scruples were never a problem. Marilia, the woman who looked after him from the day he was born, is his most faithful accomplice. And as for the human guinea pig.

The Skin I Live In happens to take the cake as the most bizarre film I had the pleasure of viewing in 2011. It’s a movie that is so far out of the standard Hollywood fluff pieces, you’d almost be certain that the story that unfolds has to be misleading or be lead into some different affair, but I can assure you it is something you truly have to see yourself in order to take in just what exactly takes place over the two hour product. It may not be something you end up loving, but it will have a memorable impression that won’t go away in days, but rather weeks.

It’s a classic tale of revenge, but the manner of which it transforms Robert Ledgard (the lead) makes it so remarkable. When tragedy hits him not once but twice, it slowly becomes obvious that it has turned him into a psychopath that is only shown when he knows an audience isn’t there to watch, making him one of the most dangerous characters on screen this year. The pursuit of revenge overtakes his life, with nothing seeming to matter more to him, but at some point it goes past revenge into a stage that simply cannot be labeled. It became such an obsession for him; he has become the worse than the monster he was trying to destroy. A point of perception does the film wonders. It consistently twists how the characters are perceived and it’s not until it nears its end that the characters become cemented in their roles and you can finally come up with your very own interpretation of them. That is one of the films biggest strengths. It keeps you on the edge of your seat by slowly unraveling its mystery bit by bit until the true nature of it settles in and you have to think, did that just really happen?

I say with confidence I have never seen this side of Antonio Banderas. His work and performance here is far superior to anything I’ve seen from him before and didn’t think he had this type of talent in him. Maybe it was because it’s in his native tongue, but I loved every bit of him. He gives a menacing role where simple stares burn into your skin, threatening your existence with just the simple movement of a smirk. This is the type of role that can help turn a career around, but tis such a shame nobody seemed to be paying attention. Being an exclusive Spanish actress, I have never seen Elena Anaya before, but she is nearly flawless. She’s attractive, downright beautiful to look at, which helps the fascination Robert has with her all the more believable, but best of all she conveys a range of qualities to make her a perfect captive of sorts. The relationship” these two shares is so bizarre, it alone is worth your time to watch it, everything else just becomes complimentary.

If there is a movie this year that makes the subtitles worth it, this is that film. It’s engaging, captivating, and just such a peculiar watch, you can’t miss out. I wouldn’t go far enough to call it one of the best films of the year, but I have no problem calling it one of the most engaging watches, fi not the most, of the year. Such a pleasant undeservingly ignored film of 2011.

Overall Score: 8.5/10

 

[Buzzman]

The Help (2011)

The Help stars Emma Stone as Skeeter, Viola Davis as Aibileen and Octavia Spencer as Minny-three very different, extraordinary women in Mississippi during the 1960s, who build an unlikely friendship around a secret writing project that breaks societal rules and puts them all at risk. From their improbable alliance a remarkable sisterhood emerges, instilling all of them with the courage to transcend the lines that define them, and the realization that sometimes those lines are made to be crossed-even if it means bringing everyone in town face-to-face with the changing times

The Help is one of those movies that everyone seems to love, but nothing about it appeals to me. From the terrible music choice in the trailer, to a curly haired accent heavy Emma Stone, all the way to a stereotypical approach given to a certain black woman, it just didn’t seem to be worth the time to watch it. Well now that it went out and been nominated in every damn awards show, it forced its way onto the must watch list if you really want to watch all the substantial films for the year. So I finally gave it a shot, but a lot of the problems I thought it would have ended up becoming so true.

I’ll get the positive stuff out of the way quickly though. The cast is pretty damn good. As bad as I thought Emma Stone was going to be in this, she stepped up and filled the necessary qualities to pull the part off without feeling to corny of a character. The strongest performance came from Viola Davis as the first maid to try and step up and write down her story of being a maid during these hard times for the black community. She has a clam, yet demanding quality to her that allows you to believe she is the strongest of them all. The two underrated roles that impressed me the most came from Jessica Chastain and Byrce Dallas Howard. One plays a weak, friendly seeking loner just wanting to be a part of the gang and the ladder being a complete bitch that allows herself to run away as one of 2011s best villains. They are smaller, but potent roles that actually add substantial material to the story. The huge question mark for myself was Octavia Spencer as the comedic relieving Minnie. Her character killed a lot of what the film was trying to do for me and it just never recovered from her out of place jokes. So while the cast as a whole was extremely solid, I don’t see where all the Oscar praise is coming from. All I seemed to see were good enough to good performances from an overall great ensemble.

My problems with the story are a bit different. The movie is supposed to be about telling the daily struggles and backlash The Help go through on a day to day basis in Jackson, Mississippi, but the main character is a white reporter with her own slew of problems. It spends a little too much time peeling off her storyline and took away a bit of time away from the films primary concern. The other thing that really bothered me was just how much the film talked about what the Help was doing with this book was so dangerous, yet the entire film outside a few very brief moments, is a light hearted comedy. It just didn’t seem to gel together and make enough sense. How am I supposed to believe they are in any real danger when they are always laughing and having a good laugh at a dumb joke? When the film broke downs and gets serious it feels like scenes that belong to a different movie. I just don’t understand where all the praise is coming from.

I really have to go so far as to mention the trailer. If you like it, you’ll like this, but if you didn’t like it like me, you’ll probably leave with the same impressions as me. All of this Oscar talk and award nominations are a puzzle to me. They obviously went very safe this year; which is a shame because it ended up messing with other more worthy titles. I feel like The Help is 2011’s most overrated film.

Overall Score: 6/10

 

[Buzzman]

Tinker Tailor Solider Spy (2011)

Based on the classic novel of the same name, the international thriller is set at the height of the Cold War years of the mid-20th Century. George Smiley (Gary Oldman), a disgraced British spy, is rehired in secret by his government - which fears that the British Secret Intelligence Service, a.k.a. MI-6, has been compromised by a double agent working for the Soviets.

If you were tell me that a movie starred Gary Oldman, Colin Firth, John Hurt, Mark Strong, Toby Jones, and Tom Hardy would come out in any given year, my response would be did it win best picture? It would simply have to be good by default, wouldn’t it? To achieve that type of cast must mean they loved what they read, and that may have been the case here, but what that script came to life into wasn’t all that great. It seemed to do its absolute best to bore you to death with a lot of explanations and as much sitting down as possible.

The story all comes weaves its way into the mystery at the center of the film. Who is the spy sitting at the top of the British Intelligence? It’s one that dominates nearly every scene, controls every flashback, and is slowly revealed over a two hour span. The mystery movies a lot slower than most would like, but the real problem lies in the reveal; it simply happens. There is no build-up, no tension, and no reasoning behind it. It’s a film that seems to have no climax because it feels the entire thing is one big one for the audience. The only really good moments that happen in the film come from two brief flashbacks. One involving Ricki Tarr (Hardy) falling in love with somebody you shouldn’t and Jim Prideaux (Strong) on a mission that goes terribly wrong. They both add a bit of actual movement in the film where emotions fly and you actually begin to feel something for these two characters. If they had been featured more or spiced up Smiley’s part, the film as a whole would have been far more intriguing than it ended up being.

The cast as big named as they are feels very underwhelming. Gary Oldman is the star as George Smiley, and he is good, but the way the filmed his dialogue feels wrong. Every word out of his mouth lingers as if there are entirely crucial to the plot. He feels overrated, but still adds another fine performance to a long list in a great career. Tom Hardy added another great character to his 2011 resume, but it comes in very brief. In a film that lacks a lot of emotions, Hardy as a destroyed agent with a guilty conscious is the films biggest strength. It really does blow that he had such limited play time. Even Mark Strong was limited. He is the other half of the emotions of the movie, that turns in a strong turn that is actually against type a bit. For the rest of the cast, they feel like glorified cameos that seemed to just go through the motions and be done with it. Very disappointed from them considering I’ve loved some of their past work.

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy is one of the biggest disappointments of the year. It’s boring a lot, messy at others, and almost great at times, but it just didn’t end up being the film that it seemed to be written on paper. It’s a big miss that seems all to perfect with a year filled with a lot if disappointing films. If you truly wanted to see it, then you must, but if you had any doubt about it, there’s a good chance your gut is right. It’s not the must see film we all hoped it would be but rather just another film that will quickly become forgotten.

Overall Score: 5.5/10

 

[Buzzman]

Rampart (2011)

Woody Harrelson gives a ferocious performance as a dirty cop, balancing a home life with two ex-wives as he becomes embroiled in the Los Angeles Police Department's infamous Rampart corruption scandal.

Way back in 2009, The Hurt Locker was the lauded Iraq war story that took audiences by storm and carried that quality all the way to a Oscar win. Many people seemed to frget about the other Iraq war movie that couldn’t have been any more different than Oscar Winner with The Messenger. It was a brilliant movie that ended up allowing Woody Harrelson to give one of the best performances of his career. A few years later and the two have reteamed for a pretty messy buy enjoyable mess that once again allows you to witness Woody Harrelson create one of the most iconic characters of the year.

The opening lines of the film see Dave Brown (Harrelson) verbally abusing his rookie partner, threatening to punch her in her fucking face if she doesn’t finish the fries she doesn’t want to finish. If this is how he treats is fellow officers, what exactly does he do to the scum that roam the streets of Los Angelos? That’s what the film is centered on. The entire department is under investigation of corruption by Dave Brown is the ideal poster boy to everything that is wrong with the department. What makes it far more interesting is that Dave Brown has a justification for everything he does and never sees the downward spiral he is headed down until he has already become submerged by it and refuses to go alone, destroying the lives of the people around him. The weird relationship he shares with his two ex-wives and his children is very unconventional, but is the only constant in a film that tends to be a bit messy in its other segments. The ending may leave others bewildered if they want a definitive conclusion to Dave Browns motives and fate, but fans of the films that leave it up to the audience are given an infinite range of possibilities to what exactly happens to a man whose morals don’t exist living in a pastime that has since evolved. It’s not a great story by any means, but that doesn’t make it a bad film.

Woody Harrelson is the only one worth talking about it. From the minute he appears as Dave Brown, you forget its Woody Harrelson. He plays such a menacing figure, his smirk alone leaves a nasty taste in your mouth. He is the king of his own universe, a predator preying on those below him for game. When he begins to question his very existence, his past choices, future choices and where he stands in the present, his world is flipped upon him, descending him into an area of insanity. The closing moments allow you to see just how great of an actor Harrelson can be and reminds you that he is one of Hollywood’s criminally underrated actors working today. He seems to be able to jump genre and play any type of character with ease, but when given the chance to really act, he acts his ass off. He takes an average to mediocre film and makes it worth watching. If you’ve ever seen a film just for an actor, this is the film to pick. Its just such a great structure of a character you should hate, but cannot help but love.

Overall Score: 7.5/10

 

[Buzzman]

We Need To Talk About Kevin (2011)

A suspenseful and gripping psychological thriller, Lynne Ramsay's We Need to Talk About Kevin explores the factious relationship between a mother and her son. Tilda Swinton, in a bracing, tour-de-force performance, plays the mother, Eva, as she contends for 15 years with the increasing malevolence of her first-born child, Kevin (Ezra Miller).

Films can tread a controversial subject manner and take it one of two ways. The first is to emphasize on the sole event and bring in an over the top scene that goes on for too long and never constructs the consequences of the event. Rarely does that route ever lead into a good movie. The second path is to surround the before and after of that controversial content into the spotlight and only allow the audience a minor taste of the actual event. It helps make the event more significant and more important when you actually begin to question the motives behind it. Why does it happen and how do you pick the shattered pieces up is when a film can become something special; something of value. We Need to Talk about Kevin takes that second path and runs away with it. It’s a very haunting movie that is a stomach churning experience the whole way through.

This tragedy that occurs is fairly obvious a few minutes in but I’ll refrain from mentioning it just in case you want to go in blind a bit. In fact if you truly want to go in blind, just stop reading now and go watch it. The rest of this review can be summed up with two words. Watch this. For those still reading, the tragedy takes place in mere minutes but it becomes to define Eva, both before and after it occurs. The movie goes through three different phases of time. One where Eva is a mother raising a child she never wanted. Another is of her watching that child grow into a young man. The last is of a depressed Eva, with nothing left in her life. What happens to her is a mystery and it’s not until you near the end that the pieces come together. The film takes a nonlinear approach, mixing the three phases of her life into a great balance that can effects the tone of every moment of Eva’s life. Scenes of her happy feel a bit different when the audience knows she is doomed in some sort of way. The film is shot from her own perspective, so we only see what she thinks is happening. The tragedy that occurs makes the audience question just why exactly it happened. Was it because this child of hers seemed so evil from the minute he was born or was it the way she raised a son she never even wanted. It raises difficult questions that can never truly be answered to a full extent. It’s what makes the film so haunting to watch. It’s one of the few films I honestly feel that you should be required to watch this year out of maybe a total of five or six.

I have always hated Tilda Swinton. From her alien like appearance, her manly features, to her awful hair styles, she is one ugly woman to look at for a long extent of time, but I cannot deny the talent and great projects she has chosen of her career. She simply makes stellar movies, but We Need To Talk About Kevin may be her best to date. Her guilt, confusion, hatred, anger, and unhappiness are all on display here. Her dilemmas feel every bit real and put the audience into the shoes of questions they would never want to answer. It’s a true travesty she didn’t get nominated for an Oscar. Her teenage versioned son of Kevin, played by Ezra Miller, makes her character work. He plays a truly demented boy who can terrorize her without ever leaving a trace of his intentions. One glance at the stares he gives his mother do you know without a doubt that he is evil. But whats so great about the film is whether or not he’s truly doing the things he does to an extent. We are not witnessing this from an outside perspective but by the very person who believes he’s evil, his mother. We never know what is true, if she shaped him into a monster or if he was born one. It’s a question that can’t be answered and never will be. It’s one that lingers with you for as long as the film comes to mind. Its lasting impact will remain the same and that’s why it’s such a great film to watch. It got a very limited release, but when you get the opportunity to watch it, don’t miss it.

Overall Score: 9/10

 

[Buzzman]

Contraband (2012)

Chris Farraday (Mark Wahlberg) long ago abandoned his life of crime, but after his brother-in-law, Andy (Caleb Landry Jones), botches a drug deal for his ruthless boss, Tim Briggs (Giovanni Ribisi), Chris is forced back into doing what he does best- running contraband-to settle Andy's debt. Chris is a legendary smuggler and quickly assembles a crew with the help of his best friend, Sebastian (Ben Foster), for one final run to Panama and back, hoping to return with millions in counterfeit bills. Things quickly fall apart and with only hours to reach the cash, Chris must use his rusty skills to successfully navigate a treacherous criminal network of brutal drug lords, cops and hit men before his wife, Kate (Kate Beckinsale), and sons become their target

For almost his entire career, Mark Wahlberg has pretty much known his range as an actor. He has missed a few times, but throughout his career he has consistently chosen projects that are good enough to entertain the audience but never seem to go anything past that, which is perfectly fine because sometimes you just want to watch something before you begin to pass out. Contraband is one of his enjoyable ones that will keep you occupied for two hours and then be done with it until you see it again years from now on late night TNT.

One of the better qualities of Contraband is that it doesn’t waste your time trying to develop some sort of long laid out plan to pull off this heist job. Ten minutes into the film and they are all ready to go for it, which is something off a relief considering they don’t try and slap you in the face faking some ingenious heist that goes perfectly right. A mere afterthought of the film is why it all occurred. The bad guy in the film is far less dangerous then he’s talked about to be since he seems to be such a cheap loser. But you had to get to the heist someway; am I right? It’s never anything ground-breaking or even great; the heist of sorts to get the fake money is pretty exciting. It brings in a completely over the top robbery of an armored car, a really wannabe kingpin, and sort of laughable exit strategy that even for this film feels a bit unbelievable. It’s still a pretty enjoyable action film, but there is an actual moment near the end of the film that makes you think this film can be a legitimately good film, but it turns what is a badass ending into a clichéd one. It’s a shame they didn’t have the balls to go in the direction it appeared to be headed.

I am not going to say anything about Mark Wahlberg; your opinion of him will not change here, it’s the same guy you’ve seen for years now. You either enjoy him or avoid him. I will try and talk you into seeing it for Ben Foster, the best friend of the protagonist. The guy is a talent in film, but never really seems to reap the benefits of his talent. It’s uncommon when somebody can bring emotions into a cheap action movie, but he creates sympathy to his character that adds layers to him that allow him to stand out so far ahead of everybody else. He’s the sole explanation needed to give this film a chance. As for another character played by Giovanni Ribisi, is far more comical than maybe intended sporting a “cool” accent. Solid cast for a solid action flick.

Contraband is a nice solid movie that helps kick off the New Year in the right direction. It’s a movie that will hold your attention all the way through, meet your film fix for a little while until a better one comes out, and will be completely off your mind in a month or so. Action fans will be the majority audience that enjoys this, but for fans of Ben Foster, it’s a chance just to see him do what he does best; act. He’s pretty damn good at it.

Overall Score: 6/10

 

[Buzzman]

War Horse (2011)

Set against a sweeping canvas of rural England and Europe during the First World War, War Horse begins with the remarkable friendship between a horse named Joey and a young man called Albert, who tames and trains him. When they are forcefully parted, the film follows the extraordinary journey of the horse as he moves through the war, changing and inspiring the lives of all those he meets-British cavalry, German soldiers, and a French farmer and his granddaughter-before the story reaches its emotional climax in the heart of No Man's Land. The First World War is experienced through the journey of this horse-an odyssey of joy and sorrow, passionate friendship and high adventure.

My thoughts going into the film: You have Spielberg in the director’s chair making a film that spans the entire First World War. It’s got be guaranteed Oscar gold right? What, it’s about a fucking horse and its experience throughout the war? Well, Spielberg, can make it work, I will go against my gut and give this a watch because I know he can’t go that wrong, even if it’s not great it’ll still be good. How naive was I. This had to be one of the worst experiences I’ve had with a film last year and Spielberg has gone into the wary basket of living off the past far too long.

This is one of the more boring experiences in filmmaking. The first hour of the film attempts to build up the relationship Albert has with this horse he named Joey through a very sappy and over-sentimental moment of literally saving his farm. It takes way too long to get over this and in doing so just automatically give up caring about it. Now that you stop caring, the rest of the story essentially becomes useless. All the loops Albert goes through to get back to this horse are so god damn played out. It makes you roll your eyes, sigh a lot, and check the time to see how long you have left. The relationship just feels so god damn sappy and you just don’t care. Nobody wants to see a nearly three hour movie about something so unrealistic that’s supposed to take place in the real world. More times than not I felt tempted to just leave the theater for the first time, but I kept thinking maybe it’ll get better, then I was proven wrong when the credits started rolling.

This has to be the worst Oscar nominee I have seen. It doesn’t have anything of value from a story telling perspective. It has more than its share of gorgeous shots, but when those scenes finally occur, your interest has already been lost, so you cannot enjoy the strongest points the film has to offer. It’s a film you should avoid at all costs, and if you happen to sit through the whole thing, that alone is a feat I have to compliment you for; it’s an achievement that doesn’t seem all that easy now that I’ve had to do it myself. It’s a complete embarrassment that the Academy actually gave this film any recognition.

Overall Score: 0/10

 

[Houston]

:jonesy:


Lovely. What you wrote about War Horse is how I felt about Melancholia.

 

[Buzzman]

The Adventures of Tintin (2011)

Intrepid reporter Tintin (Jamie Bell) and Captain Haddock (Andy Serkis) set off on a treasure hunt for a sunken ship commanded by Haddock's ancestor with Rackham (Daniel Craig) right on their tails.

O Spielberg, this was your comeback year. Not only did you have a film coming out, but you actually had two of them. Well we all know War Horse was a gigantic disaster, and that’s not even the one I was worried about when the film finally started surfacing. Right from the getgo, The Adventures of Tintin has made me a bit weary of it. For one, it was based on a comic strip I had no interest in reading, than it was to be shot in the always awful and way to disturbing looking performance capture animation. No movie has made this form work all that well, and I thought it was a waste of Spielberg’s time to go out and make a cartoon when he could be doing something better. But now I realize that he just wastes his time with any film he offers his hand to; he has lost that magic he once had and if Lincoln doesn’t blow me away, I don’t think he’ll ever be able to get it back.

I have never really had a problem with the plot of a cartoon of sorts. They can get away with a lot of things other films cant because the animation appearances allows your mind to accept that anything can happen in this world, but for the lifeof me I cant understand why they went with a motion capture strategy if they were going to just throw endless amounts of over the top ridiculous action pieces that don’t seem to add anything to actual plot. They just place them in scenarios that allow the action to come to form, rather than the other way around. I will say that this felt like a National treasure animation, but the comedy felt really dumbed down; I felt like the jokes thrown around are for literal ignorant people that will laugh at anything. The adventure is a big drag because of this, and you really don’t care if the characters get away with it or not. The fact they left the story somewhat unfinished feels like a slap in the face of a giant ego, feeling without a doubt a sequel would get green lit, even though it doesn’t seem to deserve one.

With the motion capture animation, there really aren’t actual actors but mere motions in front of a green screen. With that in mind, they created such a wide range of characters with annoying habits. Tintin is a whiney little whore of a man, Captain Haddock talks drunkenly in a terrible comic relief role, and even Daniel Craig playing the villain Rackham, seems to be after them for one of the most unoriginal revenge schemes you can think of. They all have a few moments of fun, but their flaws stand out so much, you can’t work past it to enjoy them.

This isn’t as bad as his other work War Horse, but its very mediocre. When you never expected much, that feels a bit pathetic to not meet your already low expectations, but it just wasn’t fun. It feels like they made a cartoon of National Treasure and took out all the charm and fun and replaced it with giant action scenes that are sometimes good, but don’t stand out that much since tis stuck in a world of animation. I’d tell you to pass on this, but accidently seeing it might not be the worst thing that could happen to you.

Overall Score: 4/10