Deadspin skewers NFL "analysts"

[Warner2BruceTD]

http://deadspin.com/5981428/it-took-a-blackout-to-show-you-how-truly-useless-nfl-broadcasters-are

 

[Senser81]

It reminds me of the most visionary sports movie in history...Naked Gun. 12 people to announce a baseball game between the Angels and Mariners. Who knew how true that would be?

 

[Warner2BruceTD]

Every time he speaks, Jerry Rice reminds me of Steve Carell's turn as Brick Tamland in 'Anchorman'.

 

[FedEx227]

I think sports in general are being covered terrible. Studio shows of course are the dirt worst, but I think even in-game it's gotten bad. There's just too much talking. let a moment breath for a second. We don't need to hear what you think after every single play, every single timeout, every single play, etc.

There's too much dependancy on other people telling you what to think, what this moment means, what's going on, how the crowd is reacting, etc. nothing is organic in sports broadcasting anymore and I think it's a definite negative.

 

[ralaw]

My Ravens were playing in the SB and I didn't watch anything until 6:00. I just have no interest in hearing anything that these analyst have to say. I do like the idea of having Beyonce host.....I could watch her all day.

 

[Hasselbeck]

Ironic because outside of the Manti Te'o story, Deadspin is relatively as useless as the analysts they're skewering

:tiptoe:

 

[Warner2BruceTD]

I think in general, people play "remember when..." too much and glorify things from the past, when in fact most things are better now.

But there is no doubt that sportscasting has moved backwards. Listen to Pat Summerall's simple, understated play by play, or watch a Dodger game before Vin Scully croaks.

Dick Enberg wanted to get back to his roots and do baseball, so he took the Padres play by play job a few years ago. He immediately became the second best play by play man in the sport. He's like 80 years old and was away from the sport for decades and still shits on everybody not named Scully.

 

[Hasselbeck]

Sidenote: Phil Simms was in rare insufferable form last night. Man that guy is terrible. Jim Nantz would be solid with a good color commentator, but Simms drags him down so much.

My favorite Simms moment last night, 49ers down 31-29.. Simms chimes in: "I think the 49ers go for two here Jim."

Thanks Phil.

 

[FedEx227]

Phil USE to be good but he fell into the trap I'm talking about where he thinks he has to talk and comment about EVERYTHING.

"Good run there."

"I think they'll do this"

"They should do this here."

Dude, just shutup and let the action play out.

 

[Warner2BruceTD]

I like Nantz too. He's a pro. People think he's boring, but I think he's a throwback.

The fascinating thing about Nantz, is he makes no secret that he doesn't even want to be doing NFL play by play. He has stated many times that he would prefer to be in the studio for NFL, and do all of the golf. But there are two problems. One, he's a bad fit for the madcap hijinx of the studio, and two, they can't find anybody better to replace him as the lead play by play man.

 

[ralaw]

Who would make up the ideal studio and booth teams?

 

[Senser81]

Phil USE to be good but he fell into the trap I'm talking about where he thinks he has to talk and comment about EVERYTHING.

"Good run there."

"I think they'll do this"

"They should do this here."

Dude, just shutup and let the action play out.

I've never liked Phil. I've always thought he sucked. He never knows whats going on, he's never known the rules. I agree that he's gotten more vocal about voicing his opinion now that he's been kept on as the #1 guy on CBS.

 

[Senser81]

Who would make up the ideal studio and booth teams?

I think it would be interesting if they had one-man booths for football. There are so many graphics and other crap that they show between plays, I think you could have studio silence until the next play.

 

[Warner2BruceTD]

Who would make up the ideal studio and booth teams?

For the studio, I like the authors basic framework.

-A veteran, professional host
-Ex athlete or coach with a brain who is insightful and isnt collecting a paycheck, and if they're funny its a plus (so no Marino, Dungy, Bradshaw, etc)
-A stat geek/blogger/nerd type

That's it. And then one 'insider' type like Jay Glazer with breaking news. If you really listen to what these guys say on these shows, it really is 99% useless, cliche ridden drivel. And people aren't watching anyway, so maybe it's time to revert back to substance and give that a shot. Watch old clips on YouTube of the old NBC & CBS studio shows, and you will be shocked at the actual legit analysis that they tried to give you. Let's try that again, what do they have to lose?

In the booth, I think Al Michaels is the best play by play man in the business. Brian Billick is my analyst of choice. It's taken the networks 30 years to stop hiring bad Madden clones like Bill Maas, Matt Millen, Randy Cross, Tim Ryan etc. I don't blame them for trying, but most of those type of 'blue collar' guys stunk. It's good that they've gotten away from it.

 

[killgod]

I like Nantz too. He's a pro. People think he's boring, but I think he's a throwback.

The fascinating thing about Nantz, is he makes no secret that he doesn't even want to be doing NFL play by play. He has stated many times that he would prefer to be in the studio for NFL, and do all of the golf. But there are two problems. One, he's a bad fit for the madcap hijinx of the studio, and two, they can't find anybody better to replace him as the lead play by play man.

I'm torn on Nantz. He does some things well, like just calling the game, everything else he says is nearly retarded though. His boring play by play is a plus, just don't add anything else please.

Just as bad as Phil saying they were going to go for two, he was making dumbass comments like "I guess they need to kick the FG here" in obvious situations. He sucks at hiding his corporate directive to push their bullshit. Like when they pushed that Tebow/Brady postgame comment about Brady saying "I hope to see you again" when it wasn't even said that way. He didn't even sound like he believed himself as he repeated it 100x in the pre-game for the following divisional game.



I like Greg Gumble's play by play personally, but he's paired with the absolute worst in commentary, Dan Derpdorf.

 

[Senser81]

For the studio, I like the authors basic framework.

-A veteran, professional host
-Ex athlete or coach with a brain who is insightful and isnt collecting a paycheck, and if they're funny its a plus (so no Marino, Dungy, Bradshaw, etc)
-A stat geek/blogger/nerd type

I like the old NFL Today framework

-veteran host (Musberger)
-sleazy gambling guy (Snyder)
-model (George)
-token black guy (Cross)

 

[Warner2BruceTD]

It's odd how the NFL hides from gambling these days, yet embraces fantasy, which is essentially just a new form of gambling.

 

[LiquidLarry2GhostWF]

Today's studio shows are brutal.

There is a cluttered market of ex-players and coaches that want to get into TV (and justifiably so, its easy money), so they shove them all on every possible show involving football. 95% of them are awful, the remaining 5% get thrust into the national market way too early and they pick up and learn bad habits so their shelf life is minimal.

Too many ex athletes and coaches talking football isn't a bad thing, but they don't bring anything substantial to the table. Real former pros provide no more than your basic message board football poster in regards to substance during a broadcast. I haven't heard Dan Marino...DAN FUCKING MARINO...the guy is dictionary of football knowledge...the only guy to play the game smarter was Peyton Manning...and yet, I haven't heard a single thing from Dan that I didn't already know during a broadcast. Jerry Rice is maybe the best football player of All-Time...that man knows more about how to be a wide out in his pinky than 99% of the players to ever play the game...never heard him say anything that gives you a real inside look into the game or what is going on in it.

Shameful, really.

 

[FedEx227]

The lack of substance beyond "The Ravens need to score quickly to gain momentum" from ex-players is maddening. I'm not sure if they are told to keep it as dumb as possible or they just aren't very good at talking about the game, but it's pathetic really. It's one of the main reasons I've stopped watching a lot of football, I'm not gaining anything from it. I'm not learning anything. And more than anything I'm not entertained by a bunch of ex-athletes yucking it up and shouting cliches. Don't get the appeal whatsoever.

Matt Bowen (some of you will remember him) writes for the Chicago Tribune now and kicks ass because he doesn't care if the low-brow fan doesn't read him or doesn't understand him. He gets into details, writes out plays, etc. and it's so refreshing.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/sport...3-bowen-super-bowl--20130203,0,1563488.column (well lame it's a PLUS story or something but there's a play diagram, good luck getting that from Terry Bradshaw)

 

[killgod]

Today's studio shows are brutal.

There is a cluttered market of ex-players and coaches that want to get into TV (and justifiably so, its easy money), so they shove them all on every possible show involving football. 95% of them are awful, the remaining 5% get thrust into the national market way too early and they pick up and learn bad habits so their shelf life is minimal.

Too many ex athletes and coaches talking football isn't a bad thing, but they don't bring anything substantial to the table. Real former pros provide no more than your basic message board football poster in regards to substance during a broadcast. I haven't heard Dan Marino...DAN FUCKING MARINO...the guy is dictionary of football knowledge...the only guy to play the game smarter was Peyton Manning...and yet, I haven't heard a single thing from Dan that I didn't already know during a broadcast. Jerry Rice is maybe the best football player of All-Time...that man knows more about how to be a wide out in his pinky than 99% of the players to ever play the game...never heard him say anything that gives you a real inside look into the game or what is going on in it.

Shameful, really.

Problem is, if Marino/Rice got into in depth football discussion, 90% of the people they are trying to reach would be lost and tune out. We'd appreciate it, but we're the minority. They want to hear this god awful bullshit because it's all the everyday mouthbreather can comprehend.