Deadspin skewers NFL "analysts"

[ralaw]

Problem is, if Marino/Rice got into in depth football discussion, 90% of the people they are trying to reach would be lost and tune out. We'd appreciate it, but we're the minority. They want to hear this god awful bullshit because it's all the everyday mouthbreather can comprehend.

Agreed. People have to realize that most sports coverage is built for casual to slightly above casual fans. For casual fans of lets say the 49ers love seeing Jerry Rice even if he doesn't know how to properly communicate.

 

[Senser81]

I haven't heard Dan Marino...DAN FUCKING MARINO...the guy is dictionary of football knowledge...the only guy to play the game smarter was Peyton Manning...and yet, I haven't heard a single thing from Dan that I didn't already know during a broadcast. Jerry Rice is maybe the best football player of All-Time...that man knows more about how to be a wide out in his pinky than 99% of the players to ever play the game...never heard him say anything that gives you a real inside look into the game or what is going on in it.

Shameful, really.

I'm switching gears here, but I think your examples of Marino and Rice show that there is an "athletic genius" gene. I've always thought Marino was a meathead (I think his 'cocaine abuse' speculation prior to the '83 draft was really just Marino's stupidity), but the guy always knew exactly what to do on the football field. Joe Montana was the same way. I think Jerry Rice is smarter, but I also think his brilliance of knowing what to do just came naturally. Thats one reason why he can't really articulate as an analyst...he can't put into words what he did with his body.

 

[ralaw]

This thread is appropriate for me to post my favorite gif of all-time.

 

[EmpireWF]

lmao @ Irvin

 

[Warner2BruceTD]

Mark me down as somebody who doesn't think Marino or Rice are 'dumbing it down'. Rice is a moron. Marino is vapid. Neither communicate well, which doesn't help matters and should have precluded them from getting a job in the first place.

I'll tell you who dumbs it down. Boomer Esiason. Howie Long. Terry Bradshaw. Bradshaw didn't always do the "aww shucks!" hillbilly gimmick.

 

[killgod]

Mark me down as somebody who doesn't think Marino or Rice are 'dumbing it down'. Rice is a moron. Marino is vapid. Neither communicate well, which doesn't help matters and should have precluded them from getting a job in the first place.

I'll tell you who dumbs it down. Boomer Esiason. Howie Long. Terry Bradshaw. Bradshaw didn't always do the "aww shucks!" hillbilly gimmick.

They weren't the best players to use ti illustrate the point, but it still stands. We're not going to get useful football talk in a pre-game show, regardless of the players/coaches/etc speaking.

 

[ralaw]

I bet you guys can't want until next year when Ray Lewis joins ESPN....I wonder if he will replace anyone on Sunday NFL Countdown?

 

[Warner2BruceTD]

I bet you guys can't want until next year when Ray Lewis joins ESPN....I wonder if he will replace anyone on Sunday NFL Countdown?

I can't imagine Rice will be back when his contract is up. He's Emmitt Smith all over again.

 

[Warner2BruceTD]

To be fair, I think Steve Young & Trent Dilfer aren't bad. They give you something sometimes.

Tom Jackson isn't a cliche machine, but I can tell you what he's going to say before he says it. Every team should run the ball more, and teams lose because they don't play hard enough on defense. He thinks it's 1973.

 

[KINGOFOOTBALL]

I love Gumbel Nantz Deirdorf and really miss Enberg who was one of my all time faves. Im honestly more about the voice than the analysis as so much of it is regurgitated. Billick is the only guy that seems to be attempting to teach me something and be helpful to the listener. Madden was a Fn genius because he highlighted parts of the game people didnt pay much attention to and made every aspect accessible. Billick is nowhere near as entertaining but IMO hes the only one that actually does this. Too many blowhards are like W2B pointed out are just playing the same role rehashing the same character.

Simms is ok but I preferred him with Gumbel.

Marino and Rice were numbnuts but they can easily provide more than they do. Fact is these guys get smothered in cheap acting/camera lessons then forced by the studio into the same talking points. I think Senser brought up a funny point in the other Schlereth thread...if we heard the stuff that happens OFF camera I think we'd learn a hell of alot more about guys and teams than we do while its on. If former trash anyone loudmouths like Keyshon and Collinsworth can get sanitized anybody can.

 

[ralaw]

To be fair, I think Steve Young & Trent Dilfer aren't bad. They give you something sometimes.

Tom Jackson isn't a cliche machine, but I can tell you what he's going to say before he says it. Every team should run the ball more, and teams lose because they don't play hard enough on defense. He thinks it's 1973.

My favorites on ESPN are Dilfer, Young and Chris Carter. Dilfer sometimes tries to get too philosophical, but I can work with it. Young is generally consistent and good. Carter is actually better on the radio then he is on TV. He has times where he is very insightful.

 

[Senser81]

Dilfer is awesome. Gives insight and opinion without going overboard.

 

[Liquidrob]

Dilfer is good, so is Steve Young

With that said, I watch zero pre game stuff, haven't in years, only stuff I get is on the radio when driving around for work

 

[Diivox]

I really don't think it's too much to ask that the football coverage be about football. I don't give a shit about the human interest stories. I don't care what the washed up coaches and players trying to pay some alimony have to say. I want game tape broken down explaining strategy. I want actual fucking analaysis.

What i've never understood about football is that is marketed to stupid people. and maybe thats because most of america is stupid. but it's a thinking man's game with a ton of strategy to it and i never learn anything from watching the shows. it's pretty fucking sad when random strangers on the internet are a better source of understanding than the pretty people who makes 2+ million dollars a year to sit there smile into the camera repeat the same cliches and mannerisms as everyone else until they roll the next budweiser commercial.

We had two extremely different offenses in the superbowl and i don't think i heard a word of analysis beyond the words "pistol" and "read option" thrown around a bunch of times. My folks are all in their 60s now and totally hooked on the pregame show. i don't watch a minute of it anymore.

 

[LiquidLarry2GhostWF]

Dilfer is awesome. Gives insight and opinion without going overboard.

Dilfer is on his way to being Sean Salisbury.

 

[dave]

Mike Mayock is, by far, my favourite analyst. And he covers the nerd/stat geek typecast.

 

[wr50l]

It's odd how the NFL hides from gambling these days, yet embraces fantasy, which is essentially just a new form of gambling.

They also make a big deal out of pre-match pick 'em selections, against the ML (oops can't say that either) as opposed to the spread so that it doesn't look like gambling of course!

Al Michaels is constantly dropping references to the spread and the total in games too. "That late score has made a lot of people happy, and a lot of people unhappy" or "I guess you could say that was an overwhelming scoreline" (those two are almost exact quotes from this season).

 

[BigBiss]

Aikman is awesome ... and i want with every fiber of my being to hate him ... iv gotten tired of Joe Buck

 

[Tengo Juego]

Mike Mayock is, by far, my favourite analyst. And he covers the nerd/stat geek typecast.

I like Mayock a lot. I dream of him and Michaels in the booth at some point. Mayock is a scout 'nerd' though. He'll chime in with scouting info and the player's history and be informative on some of the lesser known players, but it's not always very topical or relevant to the action.

 

[Cornelius]

I like Nantz too. He's a pro. People think he's boring, but I think he's a throwback.

The fascinating thing about Nantz, is he makes no secret that he doesn't even want to be doing NFL play by play. He has stated many times that he would prefer to be in the studio for NFL, and do all of the golf. But there are two problems. One, he's a bad fit for the madcap hijinx of the studio, and two, they can't find anybody better to replace him as the lead play by play man.

Disagree. I think he's a sanctimonious cocksucker. His "outrage" a couple of years ago over the concussion issue was sickening. I'd take Brad Nessler as play by play for any game ever.